"That's smart," says I, "Yes, that's smart; but it ain't onto _my_
CHARLEY. He ain't stuck up nor nothing of that sort. He is as innocent
as gooseberries, is the CHARLEY DANY I know;" and arterwards I thought
no more about it, till I cum on to New York for to look into the cattle
business, and see how things was shapin for trade this winter.
I put up to the St. Nikkleas. Well, I allers larf when I think of it.
Here was an Irishman tuk my bag, slung it behind him, and says he to
me--"Foller me, if you please, sir." I follered accordin'.
I've clumb some pretty tall hills in my day, Mr. PUNCHINELLOW, but that
'ere gettin' up them stairs jest switches the rag off of all on 'em. I
broke down. Then he tuk me to a heister, and landed us next to the roof.
I was too pegged out to wash or fix, so I flung off my cowhides, jumped
onto the bed and slept clean through till next day. In the mornin' I
rigged up, went down stairs, and asked the clerk if he would be kind
enough to pint out to me where I might see CHARLEY DANY. He sort o'
smiled like, and said I would find him at the _Sun_ office. I paid two
dollars for a kab to take me down, which it did till we stopped afore a
big yaller house, with a big board stuck up agin it havin' these words:
+--------------------------------------------+
| |
| "EXTRA SUN!!! |
| |
| ELOPEMENT AT MURRAY HILL. |
| FULL HISTORY OF THE PARTIES. |
| INTERESTING CHAPTER OF FAMILY SECRETS. |
| WHO IS SHE AND WHY DID SHE DO IT? |
| GENERAL GRANT BUYS A SKYE TERRIER! |
| PARTICULARS OF THE SALE!! |
| GENEALOGY OF THE DOG!!! |
| SECRETARY FISH BOBBING FOR SPANISH EELS, |
| HE IS CAUGHT BY THE GILLS. |
| THE MINION OF SPANISH TYRANNY IN DISTRESS. |
| KITCHEN COUNCILS IN FIFTH AVENUE. |
| NOTES BY OUR KEYHOLE REPORTER. |
| BABY FOUND IN THE PRIVATE OFFICE OF A |
| LEADING EDITOR. |
| WHOSE IS IT AND HOW DID IT COME THERE? |
| INTERESTING DISCLOSURES OF A PROMINENT |
| MERCHANT'S LIFE!!! |
| FOR FULL DETAILS SEE EXTRA SUN, PRICE |
| TWO CENTS!" |
| |
+--------------------------------------------+
"Wonder if CHARLEY writ all that 'ere," says I, inwardly, inquirin' of a
boy where Mr. DANY'S particular holdin' out place might be, and givin'
him three cents to show me the way. Drawin' a quick breath, I knocked at
the door. "Come in," says a peskish voice. I cum in, and there, sure
enough, with nose close down to the desk, a writin' away for dear life,
sat CHARLEY. I knowed him to onc't, for all he was a little oldish, and
a little grayish, and had a bare spot like a turtle's back on the top of
his head. My heart cum' a bustin' up into my throat, and an inward voice
seemed to say:
"Do it now EPHRAIM, do it now, while the feeling is onto you." Jest then
he looked up, and I bust forth: "Oh, CHARLEY! CHARLEY! its a long time
sin' we met, CHARLEY. Don't you know me? Don't you remember little EPH
ECKELS? Oh! CHARLEY, CHARLEY, give us a grip of your knob, old
hunk"--and I slewed over towards him for to shake hands when he suddenly
drawed back, kinder gloomy like, putting down his pen and chewing his
gums sort of swagewise. as he said:
"My name, sir, is the Hon. CHARLES AUGUSTUS DANA, Ex-Assistant Secretary
of War, Ex-Proprietor of the ablest paper in the West, and at present
Chief Editor of the New York _Sun_, price two cents. There is no
individual here, sir, answering to the appellation of "Old Hunk," and,
as I perceive, sir, that there is a most infernal smell of cow yards
about your raiment, and the effluvia arising thence is becoming
insupportable, I would thank you to get out of this apartment double
quick, and I suggest for the sake of others who may be unfortunately
brought into contact with you, that my friend the Hon. WILLIAM MANHATTAN
TWEED has recently established public baths where such creatures as you
may undergo purification before venturing into the presence of
gentlemen."
It was CHARLEY who spoke it; Mr. PUNCHINELLOW, there is no doubt about
that; but the CHARLEY that I knew has been dead sin' that day. Yours in
memory-moram,