BROOK AND RIVER
"Standing with reluctant feet,
Where the brook and river meet."
"I think it's a good plan to put a quotation like Kipling at the top
of the page whenever I write anything in this diary," Eleanor began in
the smart leather bound book with her initials stamped in black on the
red cover--the new private diary that had been Peter's gift to her on
the occasion of her fifteenth birthday some months before. "I think it
is a very expressive thing to do. The quotation above is one that
expresses me, and I think it is beautiful too. Miss Hadley--that's my
English teacher--the girls call her Haddock because she does look
rather like a fish--says that it's undoubtedly one of the most
poignant descriptions of adolescent womanhood ever made. I made a note
to look up adolescent, but didn't. Bertha Stephens has my dictionary,
and won't bring it back because the leaves are all stuck together
with fudge, and she thinks she ought to buy me a new one. It is very
honorable of her to feel that way, but she never will. Good old
Stevie, she's a great borrower.
"'Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.'
"Shakespeare.
"Well, I hardly know where to begin. I thought I would make a resumé
of some of the events of the last year. I was only fourteen then, but
still I did a great many things that might be of interest to me in my
declining years when I look back into the annals of this book. To
begin with I was only a freshie at Harmon. It is very different to be
a sophomore. I can hardly believe that I was once a shivering looking
little thing like all the freshmen that came in this year. I was very
frightened, but did not think I showed it.
"'Oh! wad some power the giftie gie us,
To see ourselves as others see us.'
"Robert Burns had twins and a rather bad character, but after he met
his bonnie Jean he wrote very beautiful poetry. A poet's life is
usually sad anyhow--full of disappointment and pain--but I digress.
"I had two years with Mademoiselle at the Bollings' instead of one the
way we planned. I haven't written in my Private Diary since the night
of that momentous decision that I was to stay in one place instead of
taking turns visiting my cooperative parents. I went to another school
one year before I came to Harmon, and that brings me to the threshold
of my fourteenth year. If I try to go back any farther, I'll never
catch up. I spent that vacation with Aunt Margaret in a cottage on
Long Island with her sister, and her sister's boy, who has grown up to
be the silly kind that wants to kiss you and pull your hair, and those
things. Aunt Margaret is so lovely I can't think of words to express
it. 'Oh! rare pale Margaret,' as Tennyson says. She wears her hair in
a coronet braid around the top of her head, and all her clothes are
the color of violets or a soft dovey gray or white, though baby blue
looks nice on her especially when she wears a fishyou.
"I went down to Cape Cod for a week before I came to Harmon, and while
I was there my grandmother died. I can't write about that in this
diary. I loved my grandmother and my grandmother loved me. Uncle Peter
came, and took charge of everything. He has great strength that holds
you up in trouble.
"The first day I came to Harmon I saw the girl I wanted for my best
friend, and so we roomed together, and have done so ever since. Her
name is Margaret Louise Hodges, but she is called Maggie Lou by every
one. She has dark curly hair, and deep brown eyes, and a very silvery
voice. I have found out that she lies some, but she says it is because
she had such an unhappy childhood, and has promised to overcome it for
my sake.
"That Christmas vacation the 'We Are Sevens' went up the Hudson to the
Bollings' again, but that was the last time they ever went there.
Uncle David and his mother had a terrible fight over them. I was sorry
for Madam Bolling in a way. There was a girl she wanted Uncle David to
marry, a rich girl who looked something like Cleopatra, very dark
complexioned with burning eyes. She had a sweet little Pekinese
something like Zaidee.
"Uncle David said that gold could never buy him, and to take her away,
but Madam Bolling was very angry, of course. She accused him of
wanting to marry Aunt Margaret, and called her a characterless, faded
blonde. Then it was Uncle David's turn to get angry, and I have never
seen any one get any angrier, and he told about the vow of celibacy,
and how instead of having designs on him the whole crowd would back
him up in his struggle to stay single. It was an awful row. I told
Madam Bolling that I would help her to get Uncle David back, and I
did, but she never forgave the other aunts and uncles. I suppose the
feelings of a mother would prompt her to want Uncle David settled down
with a rich and fashionable girl who would soon be the mother of a lot
of lovely children. I can't imagine a Cleopatra looking baby, but she
might have boys that looked like Uncle David.
"Vacations are really about all there is to school. Freshman year is
mostly grinding and stuffing. Having six parents to send you boxes of
'grub' is better than having only two. Some of the girls are rather
selfish about the eats, and come in and help themselves boldly when
you are out of the room. Maggie Lou puts up signs over the candy box:
'Closed for Repairs,' or 'No Trespassing by Order of the Board of
Health,' but they don't pay much attention. Well, last summer vacation
I spent with Uncle Jimmie. I wouldn't tell this, but I reformed him. I
made him sign the pledge. I don't know what pledge it was because I
didn't read it, but he said he was addicted to something worse than
anything I could think of, and if somebody didn't pull him up, he
wouldn't answer for the consequences. I asked him why he didn't choose
Aunt Gertrude to do it, and he groaned only. So I said to write out a
pledge, and sign it and I would be the witness. We were at a hotel
with his brother's family. It isn't proper any more for me to go
around with my uncles unless I have a chaperon. Mademoiselle says that
I oughtn't even to go down-town alone with them but, of course, that
is French etiquette, and not American. Well, there were lots of pretty
girls at this hotel, all wearing white and pink dresses, and carrying
big bell shaped parasols of bright colors. They looked sweet, like so
many flowers, but Uncle Jimmie just about hated the sight of them. He
said they were not girls at all, but just pink and white devices of
the devil. On the whole he didn't act much like my merry uncle, but we
had good times together playing tennis and golf, and going on parties
with his brother's family, all mere children but the mother and
father. Uncle Jimmie was afraid to go and get his mail all summer,
although he had a great many letters on blue and lavender note paper
scented with Roger et Gallet's violet, and Hudnut's carnation. We used
to go down to the beach and make bonfires and burn them unread, and
then toast marshmallows in their ashes. He said that they were
communications from the spirits of the dead. I should have thought
that they were from different girls, but he seemed to hate the sight
of girls so much. Once I asked him if he had ever had an unhappy
love-affair, just to see what he would say, but he replied 'no, they
had all been happy ones,' and groaned and groaned.
"Aunt Beulah has changed too. She has become a suffragette and thinks
only of getting women their rights and their privileges.
"Maggie Lou is an anti, and we have long arguments about the cause.
She says that woman's place is in the home, but I say look at me, who
have no home, how can I wash and bake and brew like the women of my
grandfather's day, visiting around the way I do? And she says that it
is the principle of the thing that is involved, and I ought to take a
stand for or against. Everybody has so many different arguments that I
don't know what I think yet, but some day I shall make up my mind for
good.
"Well, that about brings me up to the present. I meant to describe a
few things in detail, but I guess I will not begin on the past in that
way. I don't get so awfully much time to write in this diary because
of the many interruptions of school life, and the way the monitors
snoop in study hours. I don't know who I am going to spend my
Christmas holidays with. I sent Uncle Peter a poem three days ago, but
he has not answered it yet. I'm afraid he thought it was very silly. I
don't hardly know what it means myself. It goes as follows:
"A Song
"The moon is very pale to-night,
The summer wind swings high,
I seek the temple of delight,
And feel my love draw nigh.
"I seem to feel his fragrant breath
Upon my glowing cheek.
Between us blows the wind of death,--
I shall not hear him speak.
"I don't know why I like to write love poems, but most of the women
poets did. This one made me cry."