[North Wilts: Clyffe Pypard.]
My veyther now, he never 'oudden yeat none o' this here Hostilian
meät nor nuthen o' that. I axed un one day why a 'oudden, and a zes,
'Do meak I shrill, the vurry _sight_ on't do--they tells I as't do
come vrom wur the War is, an' 'tes made o' souldiers a pretty deal
on't. Wuver nobody shan't 'suade I to hae none on't.' And he 'oudden,
bless 'ee! not if you was to gie un _ever_ so!
Wull, my brother Jim, he kneowed this o' course, an' he do most in
general ax veyther an' mother an' aal on us to come to zupper wi'
he about Christmas time--he wur allus vurry good for anything o'
that--an' laas' year aal on us had a zot down to zupper, an' ther wur
a girt pie at Jim's end, an' Sarah her had a piece o' biled bif--ur
wur 'twer mutton I caan't rightly mind--wuver dwon't meak no odds as
I kneows on which twer--an' Jim he zes to veyther, 'Veyther, which
be a gwain to hae, some o' this here pie ur some o' thick biled bif
as Sally got down tother end?' An' veyther zes, 'What's the pie made
on then?' An' Jim he zes, ''Tes mutton, yunnit, Sally?' 'Aw,' zes
veyther, 'I wur allus _ter'ble_ vond o' mutton pie, an' our Mary her
never 'oon't gie I none on't at whoam.'
Zo veyther he had a plate vull on't, an' a begun a gettin' this yer
pie into un at a _terrible_ rate, an' when a done, Jim zes, 'What
be gwain at now, veyther? Wull 'ee channge yer mind an' hae some o'
tother?' 'No,' zes veyther, 'I'll hae some more o' thuck pie. I caals
it oncommon good. I dwont knaw when I've a teasted anythen as I likes
better'n thuck pie.' An' a did jist about enjoy hesself, bless 'ee,
awver's zupper.
An' when a done, Jim zes, 'Veyther,' a zes, 'Do 'ee kneow what thuck
pie wur made on?' 'Noa,' zes veyther, 'I dwont, any more'n you zed as
'twer meäd o' mutton, didden 'ee? Let it be whatever 'twill, 'twer
uncommon good.'
An' Jim he looks at un zart o' comical, an' a zes, 'Veyther, 'twer
meäd o' some o' thuck Hostilian meat as you zed as nobody shudden
'suade 'ee to yeat none on!'
An' zimmin to I veyther's feace turned zart o' aal colours, and a
zes, 'Lawk a massey! dwon 'ee tell I that, ur I shall drow't aal up
agean!' An' none on us dursen zaay no more to un, a look'd so guly,
we was aveard as he 'ood.
But aater 'bout a haaf an hour Jim he zes, 'Veyther, an' how d'ee
feel now?' An' veyther zes, 'Aw, 'tes better now,' but a zes, 'I
thenk,' a zes, 'as this here is a gwoin' rayther too fur wi' a
veyther!'