Of all the miseries of human life, and God knows they are manifold
enough, there are few more utterly heart-sickening and overwhelming than
those endured by the unlucky Heir Presumptive; when, after having
submitted to the whims and caprices of some rich relation, and endured a
state of worse than Egyptian bondage, for a long series of years, he
finds himself cut off with a shilling, or a mourning ring; and the El
Dorado of his tedious term of probation and expectancy devoted to the
endowment of methodist chapels and Sunday schools; or bequeathed to some
six months' friend (usually a female housekeeper, or spiritual adviser)
who, entering the vineyard at the eleventh hour, (the precise moment at
which his patience and humility become exhausted,) carries off the
golden prize, and adds another melancholy confirmation, to those already
upon record, of the fallacy of all human anticipations. It matters
little what may have been the motives of his conduct; whether duty,
affection, or that more powerful incentive self-interest; how long or
how devotedly he may have humoured the foibles or eccentricities of his
relative; or what sacrifices he may have made to enable him to comply
with his unreasonable caprices: the result is almost invariably the
same. The last year of the Heir Presumptive's purgatory, nay, perhaps
even the last month, or the last week, is often the drop to the full cup
of his endurance. His patience, however it may have been propped by
self-interest, or feelings of a more refined description, usually breaks
down before the allotted term has expired; and the whole fabric it has
cost him such infinite labour to erect, falls to the ground along with
it. It is well if his personal exertions, and the annoyances to which he
has subjected himself during the best period of his existence, form the
whole of his sacrifices. But, alas! it too often happens that,
encouraged by the probability of succeeding in a few years to an
independent property, and ambitious, moreover, of making such an
appearance in society as will afford the old gentleman or lady no excuse
for being ashamed of their connexion with him, he launches into expenses
he would never otherwise have dreamed of incurring, and contracts debts
without regard to his positive means of liquidating them, on the
strength of a contingency which, if he could but be taught to believe
it, is of all earthly anticipations the most remote and uncertain. A
passion for unnecessary expense is, under different circumstances,
frequently repressed by an inability to procure credit; but it is the
curse and bane of Mr. Omnium's nephew, and Miss Saveall's niece, that so
far from any obstacle being opposed to their prodigality, almost
unlimited indulgence is offered, nay, actually pressed upon them, by the
trades-people of their wealthy relations; who take especial care that
their charges shall be of a nature to repay them for any complaisance or
long suffering, as it regards the term of credit, they may be called
upon to display. But independently of the additional expense into which
the Heir Presumptive is often seduced by the operation of these
temptations, and his anxiety to live in a style in some degree accordant
with his expectations, what is he not called upon to endure from the
caprices, old-fashioned notions, eccentricities, avarice, and obstinacy,
of the old tyrant to whom he thus consents to sell himself, and it may
be his family, body and soul, for an indefinite number of
years.--_National Tales_.
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