CAPTAIN LINGO AND A FINE PIECE OF HEAD-WORK
The man with the ear-rings muttered something in a fierce undertone to
his six followers. They spread out behind him in a wide line. With a
stealthy step they came forward noiselessly. The party by the wall held
their breath in terror. Nearer and nearer came the seven men, still in
perfect silence. They reached the cowering company by the wall, leveled
their pistols at their breasts, held up their cutlasses ready to strike,
and looked at their leader for the command to kill.
At this moment the man with the ear-rings observed the form of Aunt
Amanda on the ground. He stooped down and examined her, and stood up
again. Then he eyed the company of travellers with a hard cold eye, and
spoke deliberately and in a low voice. His manner of speech was somewhat
stilted and precise, and scarcely what might have been expected of a
pirate.
"The ceremony," said he, "will be deferred for the moment. I commend you
meanwhile to perfect quietness; one movement, and the consequences may
be fatal. A hint is sufficient. I perceive here a lady in distress. 'Tis
a monstrous pity, indeed. I regret that we were unaware of the presence
of a lady; had we known, we should certainly have taken our measures
more fittingly. I crave your pardon. No one has yet accused Captain
Lingo of rudeness to a lady. Ketch, put up thy cutlass and go
straightway to the pool and wet this pocket-handkerchief. Be brisk, thou
muddle-pated son of a sea-cook! Haste!"
The man called Ketch jumped as though he had been stung, and took from
Captain Lingo's hand a fine white cambric handkerchief which the captain
had produced from his breeches pocket, and running to the water
moistened it and returned in great haste.
While this was going on, the poor captives were able to examine their
chief captor more carefully. They remarked with surprise the fine
quality of the handkerchief which he had handed to his man, and they
were even more surprised to note the whiteness and fineness of the linen
of his shirt. His breeches were of blue velvet, and his sash and the
kerchief which bound his head were of crimson silk. On the fingers of
each hand he wore three or four diamond rings, which sparkled
brilliantly in the half-darkness. His stockings were plainly of silk,
and the buckles at his knees and on his shoes were of polished silver,
outlined in diamonds. His face was hard and cruel, but its
unpleasantness may have been due to a long scar which crossed his mouth
from his right cheek to his chin. When he smiled, as he did in referring
to the lady in distress, the scar gave to his face a singularly evil
expression.
Taking the wet handkerchief from Ketch's hand, he knelt beside Aunt
Amanda and bathed her face and wrists, slapping her cheeks and temples
smartly now and then with the handkerchief, and changing her position so
that her head lay lower than her body. After he had worked over her with
much care for a few moments, Aunt Amanda opened her eyes. She was
staring at the frightful crooked smile of a strange man with rings in
his ears and a kerchief on his head. She started up, bewildered.
"Where's Toby? Where am I? Who are you?"
"Captain Lingo, ma'am," said the strange man, "at your service."
"Let me up," said Aunt Amanda. She struggled to her feet, rejecting the
assistance offered by the ear-ring'd man, and stood facing him, her
bedraggled bonnet very much over her right ear. "Who are you?" she said
again.
"Your humble servant, ma'am," said the strange man, smiling his crooked
smile. "Captain Lingo, by name. A gentleman adventurer of the high seas.
Owner of the treasure which you have discovered here in our little
retreat. Known here on the Spanish Main as the Scourge of Ships, and
loyal servant of his blessed Majesty King James, whom the saints defend.
Your obedient humble servant to command." He made the lady a very
courtly bow.
Toby whispered into Freddie's ear. "He can't be so terrible bad, not
with all that polite way of talking. Don't be afraid. We'll be all right
with this pirate. Who on earth is King James?"
Aunt Amanda was also much relieved by the pirate's polite address.
"As long as you are my obedient servant," said she, "I'll thank you to
help us to get out of here as soon as possible. We didn't want to come
in the first place, and we are in a hurry to get out."
Captain Lingo laughed heartily. "They are in a hurry to get out, lads,"
he said to his companions; and at this they all laughed uproariously.
"I don't see anything to laugh at," said Aunt Amanda. "If we don't get
out of here soon, we'll catch our death of cold."
This made Captain Lingo laugh more heartily than before. "Ha! ha! ha!
Their death of cold! That would be a rare fine thing, but a bit too
slow, lads, eh?" And the other six laughed again, so that the walls of
the chamber echoed with their mirth.
"What do you mean by too slow?" said Aunt Amanda.
"Madam," said Captain Lingo, "we are a little pressed for time. We
really could not wait for you to die of colds."
"What?" said Aunt Amanda faintly, her feeling of confidence beginning to
ooze away. "Do you mean to say----?"
"Madam," said the pirate, seriously, "I will put it to you plainly.
Our treasure, which you have discovered, has taken a great deal of
hard work to accumulate. We really couldn't bear to lose it. The
people of this island, and a great many other people besides, have
been trying for many years to find it. You have not only found it,
but you have even gone so far as to open certain of our bags, in
spite of the warning posted above your heads. Now picture to
yourselves, dear madam and gentlemen, what consequences would
certainly ensue if you were to leave--here--ahem!--alive."
"Oh!" gasped Aunt Amanda. "Leave--here--alive!"
"All the fruits of our industry would be lost, and our own safety would
be imperilled. You will readily see that, of course. 'Tis a pity so many
will have to die at once, for it will mess up the place very badly, and
I always endeavor to be neat. But why, _why_ did so many of you come at
once? Couldn't you have come, say two at a time? It would have made so
much less trouble."
"Ho!" said Mr. Punch. "Hif we 'ad only stopped at 'ome, hall of us!"
"However, I do not wish you to feel too keenly the trouble you are
putting us to; my brave lads will cheerfully put up with the
inconvenience, though I must confess the amount of blood will be quite
unusual, and so many bodies will be troublesome to bury. I wish it were
possible to have you walk the plank. However, pray do not bother too
much on our account."
"We weren't thinking about you at all," said Toby. "We were thinking
about ourselves."
"Oh," said Captain Lingo, in a tone of disappointment. "I beg your
pardon; I misunderstood. At any rate, we will now prepare for our little
ceremony. If there are any trifling articles of jewelry and the like, I
will be pleased to----"
"But this boy!" cried Toby. "And this lady! You don't mean to--you can't
mean----"
"Not for worlds," said Captain Lingo, "would I be rude to a lady. I
trust you will find my conduct towards the lady beyond reproach. There
shall be no rudeness of any kind. Merely a quick stroke, and all will be
over. No violence, no roughness of any kind; not a word to offend the
most sensitive ears. A single stroke, and the affair is done. And let me
tell you, I have here with me a Practitioner who is very expert in this
sort of business: our friend Ketch, in fact, who was so kind as to wet
the handkerchief for the lady. I assure you that you are in great luck
to fall into the hands of such a Practitioner; he will make it as
pleasant for you as possible; one stroke only, I promise you. With one
stroke of a cutlass, he is able to slice off a head as neatly as you
could do it with a broadaxe; there are very few who can do it with a
cutlass, let me tell you that. Many men have become famous by being
operated on by Ketch. I remember a case--However," he said, looking
about him as if considering something, and speaking rather to himself
than to the others, "it would be difficult to bury the bodies here, and
the light is not very good. I think, yes, I think it had better be done
outside. You are already wet, and I trust that another immersion will
not inconvenience you too much. Lads," he said to his six men, "put on
the rubber suits, and help our friends under the fall. Look alive, now."
The six men immediately ran to their rubber suits and began to put them
on. While they were doing this, Toby put one arm about Freddie and the
other about Aunt Amanda. She lowered her head to his shoulder for a
moment, but she soon raised it, and standing very erect she said, "Very
well, if it must be, it must. It's easy to see that this bloodthirsty
villain means every word he says; but I ain't going to whimper; I'm the
captain, and I order that everybody keep up his courage, and wait and
see what will happen."
"Ay, ay, ma'am," said the Churchwarden.
"Do you know," whispered the Old Codger with the Wooden Leg, "I believe
that we are in a good deal of--er--danger."
Freddie put his hand in Toby's, and held it tight. "You keep close to me
if you can," said Toby, squeezing his hand. "We may be rescued at the
last minute; you never can tell. Don't lose your nerve."
Freddie was trembling with fear, and the hand which held Toby's was as
cold as ice; but he said nothing; the others were being brave, and he
resolved that he would be as brave as the rest, up to the very last. He
began to think of his mother and his father, and to wonder what would
become of them if he should be--but he forced himself not to think of
that; he pressed his lips tight together, and commanded himself to be
brave.
The six pirates returned, clad in their baggy rubber suits, and looking
very much like bears walking on their hind legs. They brought with them
Captain Lingo's suit, and helped him to get into it. When he was encased
like the others, with only his hands and face showing, he said:
"Now, madam, I will assist you to the fall."
"We'll attend to that," put in Toby, quickly. "Come on, Mr. Punch."
Aunt Amanda's cane having been lost, she found more difficulty in
walking than formerly, but Toby and Mr. Punch supported her to such
good effect that she kept up with the others very well on their march
into the water towards the fall. All, except the pirates, shivered as
the cold water came again around their knees, and they looked with fear
upon the tumbling cataract which they were required to go under. There
was no help for it, however; the seven pirates surrounded them and
persuaded them to go on. They stood in a forlorn group in the quiet
water near the foot of the fall.
"Now, madam," said Captain Lingo, "I will help you under."
Toby and Mr. Punch, feeling that the pirate knew the way better than
they did, resigned Aunt Amanda to his care, not without some fear that
the villain might deliberately drown her on the way through. He made her
kneel in the water, and then lie flat; and with a strong arm he pulled
her under the water-fall and out of sight.
"You're next," said a deep voice to Freddie, and Ketch the Practitioner
seized him and plunged with him under the water; and in an instant they
had disappeared beyond the fall.
One after another the miserable, shivering victims were assisted by the
pirates under the water, and one by one disappeared. The Old Codger with
the Wooden Leg was the last, and one of the pirates returned for him.
When he had followed the others, the great half-dark chamber remained as
it had been before, in its empty solitude and gloom, without an ear to
hear the steady rush of water pouring incessantly down its fall.
On the outer side of that rushing fall was a scene very different
indeed. The pirates and their captives stood under a blazing sun,
looking across a wide and beautiful landscape. Behind them, in the side
of a high hill overgrown with bushes, was the hole by which they had
come forth, and across the inside of this hole was the curtain of
falling water. Freddie wondered how anyone had ever had the courage to
plunge for the first time through that curtain into the unknown dark.
The heat of the sun was very grateful, and the clothing of the soaked
travellers began to dry perceptibly at once. The pirates took off their
rubber suits.
Beneath the observers the ground sloped down into a broad valley,
chequered with grass meadows and dotted with trees. To their left, as
they gazed out across the landscape, the ground rose from the valley by
easy stages to a great height, no doubt forming the landward side of the
black cliff which bordered the ocean.
To the right, the country rolled gently away from the valley in a vast
unbroken forest, a shimmering green ocean of tree-tops as far as the eye
could see. Far, far off where the forest rose in a kind of mound,
Freddie thought he could see what looked like the top of a round tower,
just emerging above the haze of trees.
The pirates and their captives were standing on a little grassy plateau,
on which were great boulders here and there, and a few wide leafy trees.
Two or three fallen logs were lying near the edge of the plateau, where
it began to slope downward.
Captain Lingo stepped out of his rubber suit, spread out his fine white
handkerchief on a boulder to dry, and twiddled his moist fingers
daintily in the air, after which he blew on his finger-nails and
polished them on his shirt-sleeves.
"We are now ready," said he, "for the ceremony. Ketch, thy cutlass."
Ketch drew his cutlass from his belt and handed it to the captain. It
glittered wickedly in the sunlight. The captain ran his thumb along its
edge, and nodded his head with satisfaction.
"It will do," said he. "One stroke for each will be quite sufficient.
We will now proceed with the ceremony."
He restored the cutlass to the Practitioner, who raised it high and gave
a swinging slash downward with it, as if to test his eye and arm. The
Practitioner then rolled his right shirt-sleeve up to his shoulder; he
was the largest man in the party, and his arm was the arm of a
blacksmith.
"Stop!" cried Mr. Punch. "One moment! Captain Lingo! You are a
Henglishman, aren't you?"
"I am an Englishman," said the Captain, swelling out his chest. "Long
live King James!"
"Hi am a Henglishman also," said Mr. Punch, swelling out _his_ chest.
"You carn't murder a fellow-countryman in cold blood, now can you? Hi
s'y, you couldn't do that, you know. We're both subjects of her gracious
Majesty, we are. Long live Queen Victoria!"
"Who?" said Captain Lingo.
"Queen Victoria!" cried Mr. Punch. "She'd never, never forgive you
hif----"
"Never heard of her," said Captain Lingo calmly. "I'm a loyal subject of
his Catholic Majesty King James the Second,--may all the saints defend
him!"
"King James the Second!" cried Mr. Punch. "Why, 'e's been dead these two
'undred year, nearly! 'E's as dead as Christopher Columbus!"
Captain Lingo started violently, and his face became dark with anger.
"Dead? King James dead? Do you mark that, lads? He calls his blessed
Majesty dead! Aha! thou renegade Englishman, thou hast imagined the
death of the king! A felony, by St. George! And the punishment is death!
What, thou reprobate, dost thou not know 'tis a felony, punishable by
death, to imagine the death of the King?"
"But 'e _is_ dead. One carn't live two 'undred years, you know."
"You hear!" said Captain Lingo, his voice quivering with rage. "He
imagines the death of the King! Any judge in the kingdom would sentence
him to die for that! 'Tis the law! But enough talk. Captain Lingo is not
the man to stand by and see the law defied! For that, my pretty
Englishman, thou shalt die the death twice over. There shall be violence
in thy case. Thou shalt wish thou hadst never been born. Thou shalt be
kept for the last. Ay, ay; there shall be fine sport at his taking off,
eh, lads? Enough! Proceed with the ceremony. To imagine the death of the
King! Ketch, art thou ready?"
"Ay, ay, Captain," said the Practitioner.
The captain cast his angry eye over the terrified group shivering in
their damp garments. "One of you must be first. Who shall be first? Let
me see." Each person quailed as the pirate's eye rested on him. "One
moment. We will decide it by chance."
He plucked seven sprigs of grass, and broke them into varying lengths.
He then held them in his hand so that only the even ends showed. "Now
choose," said he. "The longest blade shall be first."
Each drew a blade of grass, except Mr. Punch, who had already been
reserved for the last. "Thou shalt be quartered alive," said the captain
to him. "To dare imagine the death of the King!"
Freddie trembled as he drew his sprig of grass; but he did not draw the
longest; the longest blade fell to Mr. Hanlon, and the next to Freddie.
Mr. Toby was third, the Churchwarden fourth, the Sly Old Codger fifth,
Aunt Amanda sixth, and the Old Codger with the Wooden Leg seventh.
"We will use that fallen log," said the captain, and led the way towards
it. He was now very stern; all his politeness had been dissipated by
the offense of Mr. Punch.
"Toby," said Aunt Amanda, as they were moving towards the place of the
ceremony, "I hope you will excuse me for all the cross words I have ever
spoken to you."
"Oh, nonsense, Aunt Amanda," said Toby, sniffling a little, "I've been a
trial enough, I know it. What will become of the shop?"
"Poor Freddie!" said Aunt Amanda. "It just breaks my heart to see him so
brave. He's so young to have to--to--And his poor mother! Oh dear, oh
dear!"
"Now then," said Captain Lingo, "you may sit down on the grass until
your turns come."
Toby helped Aunt Amanda to sit down. Freddie sat beside her and pressed
his white face against her shoulder. The others grouped themselves on
the grass about them; all except Mr. Hanlon, who, knowing that his time
had come, stepped forward and stood before Ketch the Practitioner, who
was feeling the edge of his cutlass.
One of the pirates produced from his pocket some strong twine, and bound
Mr. Hanlon's arms behind him. On a sign from Captain Lingo, this man led
Mr. Hanlon to the fallen log, and made him kneel beside it and rest his
head face down upon it, so that there was a good view from above of the
back of his neck.
The dreadful moment had arrived.
Ketch the Practitioner took his place by Mr. Hanlon's side, planted his
feet firmly, wide apart, tucked in his right shirt-sleeve at the
shoulder, and raised his gleaming cutlass high above his head.
A scream from Aunt Amanda made him hesitate for an instant, but only for
an instant; as Aunt Amanda and Freddie closed their eyes and buried
their faces in their hands, the cutlass flashed twice around the head
of Ketch and came down with a swift and horrible slash straight upon the
back of Mr. Hanlon's neck.
A single stroke was enough; Mr. Hanlon's head rolled off upon the
ground.
"Well done, Ketch," said Captain Lingo, quietly. "I doubt if there's
another hand on the Spanish Main could have done it."
Ketch blushed with honest pride at these gracious words. He swung his
bloody cutlass in embarrassment. All the pirates turned towards the pale
group on the grass, and Captain Lingo said, "Next!"
Freddie stood up. His knees began to tremble under him, and his heart
was beating so fast that he could hardly breathe. Aunt Amanda flung her
arms about him as he stood beside her, and cried "No, no, no!" in a
voice of anguish.
All eyes were on the Little Boy, as he stood awaiting his dreadful fate,
with Aunt Amanda's arms about him. His time had come. His friends were
waiting to see if he would be brave, and though his face was white his
courage did not fail him. He looked at them in farewell, and each one
gave him a tearful gaze in return.
He turned his eyes towards the warm and friendly landscape, for a last
look at the world he was about to leave. It would be hard to go, and he
would need all his strength to bear the--A loud cry from Freddie
startled all the others. "Look!" he cried, and pointed a shaking finger.
They looked, and what they saw was Mr. Hanlon.
By the log on which his head had been cut off, Mr. Hanlon was standing,
his hands behind his back, and his head in its proper place on his
shoulders. He was smiling and bowing, and as the astonished spectators
gazed at him with their mouths open, he sprang lightly into the air and
clicked his heels together as he came down.
[Illustration: Mr. Hanlon was standing by the log on which his head had
been cut off.]
"Ha! ha! ha!" laughed Toby in spite of himself. "Freddie, we've seen
that little act before, haven't we?"
Freddie nodded. He remembered very well the first time he had seen Mr.
Hanlon's head cut off, at the Gaunt Street Theatre at home; he wondered
that he had not thought of it before.
Captain Lingo was plainly very angry. His face turned a purple hue, and
the scar across his mouth showed very white. He fingered his knife
dangerously, and at the same time glared at Ketch, who was scratching
his head in bewilderment. The captain did not raise his voice, but he
spoke with deadly earnestness.
"A fine workman thou, friend Ketch," said he. "Truly a pretty hand with
a cutlass, thou son of a sea-cook. I've a mind to let a little of thy
blood with this knife, thou scurvy knave. But I will give thee one more
chance. If thou fail again, by St. George thou shalt die the death. Once
more, now! And remember!"
It was Ketch's turn now to tremble. He knew very well that Captain Lingo
would do as he had said, if he should fail a second time. His own life
hung on a thread now.
"Ay, ay, Captain," he said huskily, and led Mr. Hanlon back to the
fallen log and made him kneel as before.
As Mr. Hanlon's head lay across the log, he turned it round towards his
friends, and gave them a long slow wink.
Ketch's cutlass flashed as before. Round his head it swung twice, and
down it came with a slashing stroke straight and true on the back of Mr.
Hanlon's neck. Off rolled Mr. Hanlon's head upon the ground.
Everyone watched breathlessly; and Ketch did not breathe at all.
For a second Mr. Hanlon's body continued to kneel headless beside the
log. Then the head on the ground popped like a flash to the neck it
belonged to, and fastened itself accurately there in place. Ketch turned
ghastly pale.
Mr. Hanlon sprang up, opened his mouth wide in a soundless laugh, bowed
to Captain Lingo, jumped lightly into the air, and clicked his heels
together three times as he came down.
Captain Lingo's face was a terrible sight to see. He gazed steadily at
Ketch. The unfortunate Practitioner was shaking like a leaf. Captain
Lingo slowly drew his knife, and held it behind him in his right hand.
With the other hand he pointed to the ground before him.
"Hither, dog," he said, in a quiet, even voice.
Ketch hesitated, gave a wild look about him, and advanced slowly towards
his captain. When he reached him, he fell on his knees and held up his
shaking hands.
"No! no! no! captain," he cried. "Don't do it! Oh, please don't do it! I
done my duty always, and I ain't never failed before! Remember my poor
old mother, captain! Give me one chance, captain, just one! Don't kill
me! Captain! Captain!"
The expression on Lingo's face did not change; but the glitter in his
eye became even more murderous than before. He said not a word, but with
his left hand snatched off the kerchief which bound Ketch's head, and
seized him by the hair; and with his other hand he brought the knife
swiftly around in front and lowered it to plunge it into Ketch's heart.
At that moment Aunt Amanda, forgetting her lameness, struggled to her
feet, hobbled to the kneeling man, and throwing her body between him
and the knife, shrieked at Captain Lingo.
"Stop! stop! you bloodthirsty villain! Ain't you got no shame? What are
you going to murder him for? Ain't he done the best he could? You're a
big bully, that's all you are! You ain't a man at all, you're a monster!
Put up that knife, and take your hand out of his hair! Ain't you ashamed
of yourself?"
Captain Lingo was taken completely by surprise. His eyes opened wide and
his jaw dropped; he was so astonished that he took his hand from Ketch's
hair and put up his knife.
"That's the idea," said Aunt Amanda. "You're more of a man than I
thought. Mr. Ketch, you had better get up."
"Madam," said Captain Lingo, making her a bow, "'tis a bold action and
generous. I trust I am able to respond to it in kind. My duty to you,
ma'am; your obedient humble servant. Ketch, thou white-livered dog, get
up, and thank this lady for thy life."
Ketch, still pale and trembling, stood up, and seizing one of Aunt
Amanda's hands in both of his, made a low bow over it and kissed it
fervently. By the look in his eyes it was plain to see that he was from
that moment her devoted slave.
"Madam and gentlemen," said Captain Lingo, "I am sorry to inform you
that the ceremony is over, until I can obtain another Practitioner to
take the place of Ketch. I blush with shame when I think how I boasted
of his skill. I hope you will not think I meant to deceive you. I assure
you I am more disappointed than you can possibly be. I am provoked and
disgusted and irritated; I am annoyed; I can't deny it. There is nothing
to do but to retire to our home in High Dudgeon."
"What's that?" said Aunt Amanda. "Is it a place, or is it just the way
you feel?"
"Ask me no more," said Captain Lingo, turning away. "I must confer with
my lads about our next step."
"Are you going to take us with you?" asked Aunt Amanda.
"We shall certainly give ourselves that pleasure, madam," said the
captain, rather stiffly. "Lads, come with me."
On a sign from the captain, one of the pirates cut the twine which bound
Mr. Hanlon's hands, and the restored one joined his friends on the
grass. The seven pirates moved away to a spot some score of yards apart,
where they all sat down on the ground and engaged at once in animated
talk.
"I conclude," said the Churchwarden, "though I don't know as I'm right
about it, and other people may have a different opinion, that we're a
good deal better off--"
"What I say is," said Toby, clapping Freddie on the shoulder, "what I
say is, three cheers for Mr. Hanlon!"
"Yes!" said Freddie. "That's just what I said that day after the
theatre!"
"I wonder," said the Old Codger with the Wooden Leg, "I wonder
if--er--ahem!--if Captain Lingo has--er--such a thing as a pinch of
snuff about him."