A SELF-MADE BURGLAR
Thus steadfastly pursuing the straight and narrow path of rectitude,
Ladybird arrived at Mr. Bates's farm and turned in at the gate.
Her purpose had begun to waver a little, but she bolstered it up with her
determination and enthusiasm, and vigorously rang the Bates door-bell.
In a few moments a little girl tense with suppressed excitement, and a
blinking, quivering dog sat facing a large, strong-looking man whose face
betokened humorous as well as muscular Christianity.
"It's a crisis, Mr. Bates," began Ladybird; "it's a perfectly awful
crisis; but of course when crisises come they have to be met, and I'm
fully prepared to meet it. I hate it, I hate it something fearful! But
I'm going to do right, the whole right, and nothing but the right, and I
want you to help me, Mr. Bates. Will you? I pause for a reply."
Ladybird paused dramatically, and Mr. Bates, impressed with the spirit of
the situation, placed his hand on his heart and replied:
"You have only to command me, madam; my time and talents are entirely at
your service."
"Well, you see it's this way," said Ladybird. "I have here a dog--a most
beautiful and valuable dog--which I want to present to you."
"To me?" said Mr. Bates, much astonished. "Don't you care for him
yourself?"
This simple question proved too much for Ladybird's unstable, though
carefully built structure of heroism.
"Don't I care for him!" she repeated; and dropping her head on Cloppy's
fat back, she burst into one of her most spectacular storms of tears.
Mr. Bates, though much distressed, had sufficient tact to say nothing for
a few moments. Had his wife been at home, he would have called her to
minister to the sobbing child; but as it was, he sat regarding Ladybird
with a grave and kindly sympathy.
"What is it, dear?" he said gently when there was a break in the storm
and a pair of large dark eyes looked brightly through their wet lashes.
"Oh, it's such a comfort to give way to your feelings, isn't it?" said
Ladybird, conversationally. "But I really ought to have a waterproof
handkerchief; this one is perfectly soaked."
Mr. Bates quietly took a folded handkerchief from his pocket, and shaking
out the ample square of cambric, politely offered it to his visitor, who
took it gratefully.
"It's a beautiful October day," he said, glancing out of the window, and
desiring to introduce a commonplace subject.
"Yes," said Ladybird; "October is one of my favorites. I think it is the
prettiest-colored month of the whole year, except, perhaps, April. But I
must proceed with my business; I'll promise not to cry again: that's over
now; but you see I care so very much for my dog that I forgot myself. But
my aunt, Miss Flint, doesn't care for him just in the way I do, so she
desires that I should give him away; and as it is my duty to do as she
wishes me, I have brought the dog to you as a free-will offering."
"How do you know I want him?" said Mr. Bates, a little quizzically.
"Oh, you couldn't help wanting him! Why, in the first place, he has a
wonderful pedigree: he's a real Yorkshire; but besides all that, he's the
dearest, best, loveliest, sweetest dog in the whole world. Of course you
couldn't be supposed to feel intimately acquainted with him yet; but in a
day or two you'll name him but to praise."
"And your Aunt Priscilla doesn't like him? Why is that?"
"Well, sir, you see my aunt, Miss Flint, is a very handsome and dignified
lady. She doesn't admire such frivolous things as flippy-floppy little
dogs, and they seem to interfere with her nerves. My aunt, Miss Flint, is
of an old family and very exclusive, and has a great deal of what they
call the--the infernal feminine."
"Yes, she has," said Mr. Bates, with grave acquiescence. "And your other
aunt, Miss Dorinda, doesn't she like your valuable dog either?"
"Oh, Aunt Dorinda is different. She's younger, you know; or at least she
can't seem to let go of her youth as Aunt Priscilla does. But that
doesn't matter; my aunt, Miss Flint, is head of the house, and she says
the dog must go, so go it's going to! Now the thing is, will you take
him, Mr. Bates? I'm sure Mrs. Bates would like him--he's a dear dog."
At this Ladybird's head went down on Cloppy's back again, and Mr. Bates
feared another deluge; but suddenly the child looked up with a bright
smile. "I could come to see him sometimes, couldn't I, Mr. Bates?"
"I haven't said I'd take him yet. I'm a business man, you know. What is
your dog good for?"
Ladybird considered.
"Well now, do you know, I never thought of that; I don't know as he is
good for anything."
"Bless my soul, child, do you expect me to accept a dog that is good for
nothing?"
"He isn't good for nothing," said Ladybird, indignantly; "he's a
wonderful comfort, and I guess that counts for a lot! Oh, and he _is_
good for something, too: he can scare burglars away."
"But no well-conducted burglar would stand greatly in awe of such a small
bundle of dog as that."
"No," said Ladybird, earnestly; "but he would bark, you know, and rouse
the family, and then they could shoo the burglar out."
"Has he ever scared a burglar away from Primrose Hall?"
"No, because we never had any to scare; but I know he could do it, and I
just wish burglars had attacked us in the watches of the night, because I
know Cloppy would have barked like fury, and so saved us all from murder
and pillage; and then Aunt Priscilla would have loved him and wanted to
keep him."
"Oh, you think she would?" said Mr. Bates, a queer look of mischief
coming into his eyes.
"I'm sure of it," said Ladybird.
"But burglars never could get into Primrose Hall; isn't it securely
locked up every night?"
"Aunty means to have it so," said Ladybird; "but old Matthew is so
forgetful. Why, sometimes he leaves the parlor windows unfastened, and
they open right on the front piazza."
"Oh, well, there are no burglars around here," said Mr. Bates,
reassuringly; but his whole big frame seemed to be shaking with
suppressed laughter, for which Ladybird could see no just cause.
"Now, I'll tell you what, child," he said: "I'll take your dog; but I
must speak to Mrs. Bates about it first, and she isn't home now. So you
take that animated mop back with you and tell your respected aunt that
his doom is sealed, but that he will have to stay one more night under
her roof; then to-morrow you bring him back here, and I'll guarantee
he'll be well taken care of."
"All right; and thank you, sir," said Ladybird, her grief at parting with
the dog temporarily forgotten in the fact that the farewell was to be
postponed for twenty-four hours. Then with a brief good-by, as if fearful
lest Mr. Bates should change his mind, she darted out of the door and
across the fields.
"It's all right, aunty," she cried as she flew into Primrose Hall: "the
Bateses are going to take Cloppy, but he can't go till to-morrow; they
haven't got his room ready; but that's all right if you'll just let him
stay here one more night. And now am I a good girl, aunty? I _do_ want to
be good."
"Yes, you're a good girl," said her aunt, "and you have done your duty;
but don't expect to be praised for it every minute. To do one's duty is
right and even necessary, but not praiseworthy."
"I think I'll go down to the orchard, Aunt Priscilla," said Ladybird;
"the trees are so sympathetic."
That night a strange thing happened at Primrose Hall.
As he did nine times out of ten, old Matthew had left the front parlor
windows unfastened. But in that quiet country neighborhood no marauder
had ever profited by the old man's carelessness.
The family went to bed as usual; the Flint ladies slept calmly in their
ruffled night-caps behind their dimity curtains; the objectionable Cloppy
was curled up on the foot of Ladybird's bed; and though that sad-hearted
maiden had firmly made up her mind to cry all night, she soon fell asleep
and had only happy dreams.
About midnight a large man with a firm tread walked boldly, but quietly,
across the dooryard to the front door of Primrose Hall.
He was presumably a burglar, but his attitudes and effects were by no
means of the regulation type. Instead of skulking as the traditional
burglar always does, he walked fearlessly and seemed to know exactly
where he was going; while instead of a black mask his face wore a broad
grin, and he chuckled noiselessly as he looked at a large hatchet which
he carried in his hand.
Although he walked quietly up the veranda steps, he used no especial
caution in opening the front window. It slid easily up, and the burglar
stepped over the sill, heedless of the fact that his muddy boots made
huge tracks on the light carpet. He struck several matches in quick
succession, blowing each out and throwing it on the floor; he then
deliberately pocketed two or three articles of value which lay on the
center-table. An old silver card-case, an antique snuff-box, and a small
silver dish were appropriated; and then turning to a white marble bust of
a foolish-looking lady in a big hat, which stood on a mottled-green
pedestal, he calmly knocked it over, and laughed as it crashed into a
thousand pieces.
This sound was quickly followed by a few short, sharp yelps from above,
which developed into a loud and ferocious barking.
A smile of intense satisfaction spread over the burglar's features; he
laid his hatchet carefully in the middle of the floor, removed his old
felt hat and placed it half-way between the hatchet and the window, and
then went out the way he came in. On the steps he laid gently the
snuff-box and card-case, and dropped the silver tray on the grass in the
yard; then turning for a last glance, to make sure that the family were
aroused, and seeing flickering lights in the windows, he pulled a cloth
cap from his pocket, put it on his head, and went back home, still
chuckling.
Inside of Primrose Hall all was confusion. Cloppy's frantic and continued
barking had awakened everybody, and though all were convinced that
burglars were in the house, none dared go down-stairs to investigate.
The Flint sisters, though scared out of their wits, possessed a certain
sub-consciousness that was pleased at this opportunity of donning their
fire-gowns and best caps. The servants were variously frightened
according to their respective dispositions; and Ladybird was quite in her
element, for to her any excitement was pleasurable, no matter what might
be its cause.
"Let me go down! Let me go down, aunty!" she cried, dancing about in the
upper hall.
"Be quiet, child! Of course you can't go down; there is probably a whole
gang of burglars, and they'd kill you and then come up for us. Look out
for Cloppy; don't let him get down."
"But I don't hear any noise down there now, aunty; I think the burglars
have gone: Cloppy scared them away by his barking."
"Stay where you are, Ladybird," said Miss Priscilla, sternly. "Matthew,
go down-stairs and see what caused that commotion."
"Yes, ma'am," said Matthew; but his old knees were shaking with fear, and
he made no motion to carry out his mistress's orders.
"Come on, Matthew," cried Ladybird, grasping his hand, "don't be afraid;
I'll go with you," and before Miss Flint could stop her, Ladybird was
dancing down-stairs, dragging the old man with her.
The child had provided herself with a candle, and hand in hand, she and
Matthew reached the parlor door and looked in.
Then Ladybird treated the listeners to one of her best blood-curdling
yells.
"Oh, gracious, glorious goodness!" she cried, "here's a hatchet! They
_were_ going to kill us! Come down, aunty; there's nobody here but a
hatchet. And your white lady is all smashed to smithereens! And here's
matches all over! And here's one of the burglar's hats! Oh, aunty, come
down; truly there's nobody here!"
Timidly the Misses Flint, followed by Bridget and Martha, came down and
viewed with dismay the havoc in the parlor. At first Miss Priscilla was
overcome with sorrow at the smashed marble; then appalled with fear at
their narrow escape from the dreadful hatchet; but was most deeply
stirred by indignation at the muddy footprints on the carpet.
"They'll never come out," she wailed; "those spots will always show!"
"Don't be foolish, Priscilla," said her sister; "be thankful you're here
to scrub at them, and not dead in your bed, hatcheted into eternity by a
gory villain!"
"Oh, I _am_ thankful," moaned Miss Priscilla. "And to think we owe our
lives to that blessed little dog! Ladybird, don't you ever hint at giving
him away! The Bateses can't have him. Why, I wouldn't be safe a minute
without that dog in the house!"
And so the next day Ladybird went over to tell Mr. Bates she had changed
her mind about giving him the dog.
That good man was greatly interested in the story of the burglars, but he
seemed much more anxious to hear how the Flint ladies were affected by it
than to learn the details of the burglary itself.
"And when the burglars heard Cloppy bark," went on Ladybird, thrilled by
the exciting mental picture, "they dropped their hatchet and ran. And the
hatchet had a B cut on it."
"It did?" said Mr. Bates, suddenly startled. "Oh, well, that stands for
Burglar."
"And he left a horrid old hat. And he must have been awful scared, for he
only stole three things; but they were three of aunty's pet treasures.
And what do you think! We found them, all three, this morning, out on the
piazza and lawn!"
"Then he did no real damage?" said Mr. Bates.
"Oh, yes; he smashed Aunt Priscilla's head."
"What?"
"Oh, I don't mean her own head, but that big marble one, or plaster or
something; it's called 'Cherry Ripe,' and it was a work of art."
"It was a civic calamity," said Mr. Bates.
"I don't know what civic means," said Ladybird; "but it was an awful
calamity, and Aunt Priscilla feels perfectly dreadful about it. But
anyhow, Cloppy saved us all from our untimely ends, and so aunty says
we're going to keep Cloppy, and so it has all turned out right."
"Yes," said Mr. Bates, with a smile of deep satisfaction, "it all turned
out right."