Jake Lennox had been fighting a losing battle with himself for ten
years, and it was a struggle he had never been aware of. The two levels
of his mind hated each other and were tearing him apart. Jake had a
conscious ideal, the model of the man he wanted to be ... austere,
kindly, infallible, sophisticated. Like many of us, he suffered
from the Mignon Complex. He was bitterly ashamed of his background.
He had had a squalid childhood as the son of a drunken Long Island
clam-digger, and would have liked to awaken one morning to discover
that he was really the second son of the Marquis of Suffolk.
But deep down inside, Jake was a hell of a rowdy guy; full of laughter
and boisterous energy, yearning for ribald friends and a burning girl
he could love and marry and riot in bed with. He was not aware of this.
He believed in the conscious image of what he wanted to be. And while
the lusty passions within him fought to overturn and destroy the world
he had made for himself, his conscious mind was fighting desperately to
hold it together.
Occasionally the conscious mind gave way, which is why Jake Lennox
awoke on Christmas night in the role of another man. He was convinced
that he was Mr. Clarence Fox from Philadelphia. I got this story from
Jake and from Aimee Driscoll when I went up to her apartment to claim
Jake's overcoat and precious gimmick book. Jake couldn't face Aimee
again. She represented the turmoil inside him which he could not
acknowledge.
Aimee (how about that name?) is a blonde with a poached face and
the fattest behind and bosom in the hustling racket. If you looked
at her through a gin bottle you might imagine that she was a busty
Swedish acrobat, which was what betrayed Jake. There are front-men and
rear-men, Aimee kindly explained to me, and she parlays both into a
lovely living. Mr. Clarence Fox was an All-Around Camper.
He awoke, still drunk and still bloody from the brawl in Ye Baroque
Saloon where he had acquired Aimee. He wore his underwear and was
cramped into an overstuffed sofa and covered with a gritty Navajo
blanket. It was dark. Lennox let out a roar that slid into a ballad
which he'd composed the night before and with which he'd been injuring
ears ever since.
Aimee heard the racket, ran into the living room and turned on the
lights. Lennox winced, closed his eyes, and sneezed three times in
stately waltz tempo.
"Less light," he muttered. "A switch on Goethe. I am excessively
educated, and all by hand. Need more crud in my blood." He began to
roar again.
"Stop that noise, Clarence!" Aimee called from the door. "Stop that
goddam singing."
Lennox finished the ballad which included every dirty word he knew.
Seventeen, by actual count.
"And stop talking dirty," Aimee told him primly. She was wearing a bra,
panties and high black net stockings; not, she pointed out, in hopes of
arousing the beast in Mr. Fox. It was her conventional uniform. As a
matter of fact she knew he was still drunk and hoped he wouldn't start
anything. She waddled to the sofa and bent over Mr. Fox solicitously.
He had been very generous to her even though her professional services
had not yet been requested. Mr. Fox stared up at her bursting cleavage,
then suddenly thrust his heavy hand down into it.
"The All-Mother," Lennox laughed.
He hurt her. Aimee squawked and jerked back. Lennox held on to the bra
and tore it away. He began to cheer: "Brah! Brah! Brah!" waving the bra
like a college pennant.
"You goddam lousy bum!" Aimee screamed. "You're mean. You're mean dirty
drunk. I never liked you from the beginning, you goddam lousy son of
a--"
"No, no," Lennox protested. "An act of admiration. 'Fair is my love,
for April's in her face, her lovely breasts September claims his
part....' Poem by R. Greene. Speaks for C. Fox."
He lurched up from the sofa, captured Aimee and clutched her
reverently. He pressed his face between her breasts. He had not shaved
in a day and a half, and his beard was excruciating. Aimee fought and
twisted and thrust him away. Lennox straightened and rocked like a high
mast.
"'But Cold December dwelleth in her heart,'" he mumbled sorrowfully.
"Where's the woman who'll give passion with the sweetness of virgins
and the lunacy of whores? You give, Aimee, but you taste like money."
He staggered, tripped on a mass of cardboard and wrapping paper, and
fell heavily into a three-foot Christmas tree that expired with a
jingle and pop.
Aimee burst out laughing. She was revenged. Lennox arose in a fury,
seized the Christmas tree by the butt and beat it savagely against the
wall. Aimee protested. He leaped toward her and lashed her across the
high fat buttocks. Aimee screamed. Lennox slipped and bruised himself
on a solid square object covered with tissue paper. He clutched it.
"You leave that alone, Clarence," Aimee yelled. She forgot all other
outrages and ran across the room. She clawed at Lennox and tried to
pull him off. The tissue paper tore away.
"What'r you protecting? Virginity?" Lennox growled.
"It's the Christmas present you gimme. You bought it last night. Don't
you bust it!"
Lennox peeled away tissue paper to reveal a dark wood console and a
twelve inch TV screen.
"The Monster!" he cried. "The One-Eyed Beast!" He hammered the top of
the set with his fists. Aimee fought him helplessly, then darted away
and returned with an empty quart beer bottle. She swung it with both
hands and clubbed Lennox across the back of the neck. He fell forward
into the rubbish like a tackle throwing a rolling block. He was the
size of a tackle.
Lennox climbed to his feet, his throat working convulsively.
"Bathroom," he croaked. He was sick. Aimee knew the symptoms well, and
no vendetta was worth another cleaning bill. She turned Lennox around
and pushed him competently through a narrow door into the small bedroom
and then into the bathroom. She turned on the light, flipped up the
toilet lid and with the skill of long experience, bent his head down to
the bowl. Then she backed out and slammed the door.
During the preliminary moment of agony, Lennox thought: "They play
Boys' Rules. Oh Virgins! Respectables! Learn from them--" Then the
purge began.
When the heaving stopped, Lennox straightened painfully, flushed the
toilet, then examined his face in the mirror. To him it was the face of
Mr. Clarence Fox, the visiting Quaker from Philadelphia. His cropped
hair was still sleek; nothing could ever muss it. But his dark eyes had
heavy purple shadows around them, and his lined face was bruised.
He was purged, still drunk, but beginning to sober. He staggered to
the bedroom, found his clothes neatly hung in a closet, and dressed.
He went out into the living room. Aimee had straightened it. She wore
a white housecoat blemished by green and scarlet petunias, and was
kneeling alongside the new television set plugging it into a wall
outlet.
"If you got any on the floor you better clean it up," she said icily.
"Merry Christmas," he answered. "Happy to pay for damage to life and
limb."
Lennox reached into his pocket, took out his wallet and was fingering
through it for money when his eye noticed the identification card.
"This isn't my wallet," he said.
"What?"
Lennox plucked at his shirt dubiously. "Not my clothes either."
"What are you talking about, Clarence? Them's your clothes." Aimee
switched on the set and fiddled with the controls.
"No. Not mine. Belong to somebody else. Character named Lennox."
"Who?"
He extended the wallet for Aimee to examine. "My name's Fox. Clarence
Fox from Philadelphia. This is Jordan Lennox, says here. See? Jordan
Lennox. How'd he get into the act?"
The screen ignited, herringboned, then sprang into life. The blast of
Johnny Plummer's orchestra filled the room with bright expectation.
A Main-Title card displayed white comedy letters against a cartoon
background while the voice of Oliver Stacy read it with frenetic sell:
THE MODE SHOW ... STARRING MIG MASON AND DIGGY DIXON ... PLAYING--'WHO
HE?'
"Who He!" Aimee called over the burst of studio applause. I love that
program. I get every question right. I could make a fortune if I could
get on." She backed up, feeling for a chair, her eyes fixed on the
screen.
Jake Lennox's consciousness ignited, herringboned, then sprang into
life.
"'Who He!'" he burst out, stunned and bewildered. "That's my show."
Clarence Fox stole back to Philadelphia.
"That's my show," Lennox repeated.
"How do you mean, your show?"
"I write it. I own a piece of it."
"That's a hot one," Aimee laughed.
"Don't you understand? It's my show. I'm Jake Lennox. I write
that--I--What the hell am I doing here? I'm supposed to be at the
theater."
Lennox turned and stumbled out of the apartment. He clattered down the
brownstone stairs and fell half a flight. It was bitter cold on the
street. Snow and rain were falling, and the air was like ice-water.
Lennox ran west to 3rd Avenue, the great exposed nerve of The Rock's
delirium. It was empty. The bars exuded urine-colored light. The
antique shops blazed with cut-glass chandeliers. Alongside him, a
darkened barber-pole still revolved its red and white spiral with the
sound of guillotines.
A small man in a derby, pea-jacket and white duck trousers passed him
and addressed him brightly: "Hiya, Dan. Nice to see you again." The
man in the derby continued up 3rd Avenue greeting empty doorways in
friendly tones: "Hello, Jerry. Long time no see.... Hiya, Pete? How's
the family? Glad to see you, Ed." Lennox stared at him, then saw a cab,
ran for it and leaped inside.
"Gotham four one thousand," he called to the driver. He shook his head.
"No. That's the backstage number. I--Let's take it from the top. Venice
Theater. 50th and Sixth. I'm in a rush, Mr...." He tried to focus on
the license card above the glass partition. It would be considerate to
call the man by his name instead of Mac or Bud. His eyes bleared and he
gave it up.
He sat on the edge of the seat, terrified by his abrupt return to
sanity, fighting to recapture the Lennox he admired and wanted to
be ... the sober Lennox, the second son of the Marquis of Suffolk. He
found his wristwatch in his jacket pocket and put it on, Nine-three.
Mig Mason would be starting the first Mason & Dixon spot on the show.
What was it this week? The football routine. Mason in moleskins. The
dummy under a sheet. _What football player made ghosts famous? For five
hundred dollars, Who He? Red Grange. That's ab-so-lute-ly_ CORRECT!
(Applause). Lennox began to shake,
"What's happened?" he muttered. "Where've I been? I'm in a panic. Why,
for five hundred dollars?"
Lennox sorted through his shattered memory of the past twenty-four
hours. He was afraid to unearth, uncover, reveal; yet compelled,
like a man exploring the pain of an aching tooth. The fragments were
incomprehensible and crumbled under the most delicate touch. A Chinese
face appeared, then faded. A series of meaningless explosions sounded
like a vanishing execution squad. There was a knot. A gleaming African
smile. The knot again. A brass-bound staff and the brazen uproar of
gongs. A knot. A target. A knot.
"And fear," Lennox said. "Fear. For God's sake, I was drunk, that's
all. Nothing more. Why am I afraid? What've I done?"
He examined his wallet. Twenty three dollars left out of four hundred.
How much had gone for that television set bought for the blonde....
What was her name? Anna? Mamie? Bought for her by a Quaker. Mr.... Who
was it? Charles something? Claude? Lennox winced and shook his head.
The memory was going ... going ... like the streets disappearing under
the sleet. Twenty four hours, and nothing but veiled patches left. A
Quaker. A blonde. A knot.
"Christ," he prayed. "Dear Christ stand by me. Stand by me now."
Lennox discovered he was crying. He was outraged. An austere, kindly,
infallible, sophisticated man didn't weep. It was that other character
he was forgetting with sickening speed ... a lurid, roaring, shameful
savage. He pounded his fists together, then looked again at his watch.
Nine-seven. Oliver Stacy and Kay Hill in the first song spot. Stacy
dressed in sheik's robes singing to Kay wearing an English riding habit
and making like Agnes Ayres. _For seven hundred and fifty dollars what
famous actor was the first famous sheik? Who He? Rudolph Valentino,
(Applause). Play-off from orchestra and segue into Intro for drama
spot._
The cab jammed in traffic at 42nd and Vanderbilt, and again at Madison.
Lennox resisted the impulse to thrust his head out the window and roar
at the hacks and busses. He fought for control. Nothing remained from
the lost night but a Quaker, a blonde, a knot and terror. He turned his
back on the fragments and the fear and clung to the framework of the
world he knew. He was Jordan Lennox who owned a piece of and wrote most
of "Who He?" He had never won a Pulitzer Prize but he had never been
less than a contract writer in his life. He had never auditioned for a
job in his life. He had never been fired from a job in his life. In ten
years of brawling and knifing his way up in the business he had never
lost a fight.
"No, by God!" he said suddenly. "What have I got to be afraid of?
They're all afraid of me."
When he got out of the cab at the stage door he was no longer
tremulous. He was again the Jake Lennox we all knew, sardonic, hostile,
unyielding. He poked a dollar at the driver for the fare, and another
dollar for a present. "Merry Christmas, Mac," he said, not unkindly,
and walked into the theater. His feet left black prints on the
sidewalk. The city too was covered with sleet.
It was 9:31-30. The show was two minutes off the air. Lennox pushed
through the crowd of wives and friends that crammed the backstage
corridor and reached the wings. Instantly, he halted. He smelled
trouble, and the prospect recharged him with energy. He stared around
with quick, guarded eyes.
The house was emptying out. The two glass control booths at the back of
the orchestra were filled with gesticulating agency men who might or
might not be berating Raeburn Sachs, the director, and Sol Eggleston,
the network camera-director. Jake's nostrils dilated. The stage was in
a turmoil. Six dancers in snow-crystal costumes dashed past him with
their duck-footed gait, whispering nervously.
"Angie ... Flo ... Ruthanna!" Lennox called. They were his favorite
pipe-lines to the backstage. They glanced at him with frightened
eyes, looked away and scampered up the iron stairs to the dressing
rooms on the balcony overlooking the stage. In a corner book-fold set
representing Santa's workshop, Oliver Stacy was snarling at Kay Hill, a
thin, attractive girl with acid eyes and a slack mouth.
The camera crews and stagehands were striking equipment and sets in
silence. There was no chatter or laughter despite the fact that the
Grabinett office had slushed them with Christmas graft and it smelled
as though the graft had been sampled. Lennox turned and looked across
the house to the right boxes where the musicians' platform was built,
searching for his friend, Sam Cooper, the rehearsal pianist. The
musicians were leaving. Sam was nowhere in sight. Lennox mustered
himself for another fight. Carrying his naked weapons ready for quick
murder, he strode to the star dressing room on stage, knocked once and
entered, prepared for attack or defense.
The star stood in scarlet Santa costume with half a beard clinging to
his lantern jaw. Mig Mason was thin, dark, young, with a good hairline
and a bad nose-job. He was sobbing hysterically. His wife, Irma, in a
mink coat, wearing Christmas orchids, a bad platinum dye and a good
nose-job, was trying to soothe him. The producer, Mel Grabinett,
blinking and jerking, was roaring at Tooky Ween, Mason's agent. Diggy
Dixon, the dummy, in gnome's costume, sprawled on the dressing table
alongside the door and regarded the scene with a wooden grin.
"I don't care how much you're worth," Grabinett stuttered. "I don't
care how much goddam billing you handle. What the hell are you trying
to do? Bury my show?"
"What are you trying to do?" Ween rumbled. "Bury my property?"
"It ain't bad enough you gouge my budget for three grand. Three
Almighty Grand for that special skyscraper set so he can crawl around
like a cowardy cockroach and drop the dummy and turn my show into a
trappisty--"
"I told you I had to have three hours' rehearsal on camera," Mason
shrieked.
"He had to have three hours," Irma said.
"But then he has to bitch the telephone contestant!" The producer's
face twitched hideously. "She give him the right answer. Kris Kringle,
she said. My operator was monitoring that Kansas call. She heard it.
The dame give the right answer."
"She did not," Mason cried. "Tell him, Tooky. The right answer was St.
Nicholas."
"The right answer was St. Nicholas," Irma said.
"It was Kris Almighty Kringle, you no-talent son of a--"
"Lay off!" Ween broke in. He glared at Grabinett. "Lay off my property.
You ain't just talking to talent. He's a star."
"The question," Grabinett told the star with exaggerated calm, "was:
You seen me play the part of Santa Claus in our comedy sketch. Now, for
five thousand dollars, can you tell us another name for Santa Claus.
That was the question. And she give the right answer. Kris Kringle.
But no, you said. Sorry, you said. That's not right. Thank you. Merry
Christmas. And you hung up the phone and hung me up with the FCC. That
dame's husband is a lawyer. He called back before we went off the air.
He's so goddam mad he's suing us for fraud. He's suing the network."
Grabinett's voice broke in agony. "He's suing the client. The client!"
"The answer was St. Nicholas," Mason shouted.
"It was Kris Almighty Kringle!"
Lennox could have backed out and disappeared unnoticed; instead
he thrust the dressing room door wide. The knob struck the dummy
and knocked it to the floor. Everyone twisted around and saw him.
Instantly they seemed to close ranks. Even the dummy shifted its eyes
malevolently. Lennox looked them over insolently, daring them to
attack. They attacked,
"Ask him!" Mason cried. "Ask him! He wrote it. He's supposed to know
all the answers. The Thinker!"
"It's his fault," Irma said.
"Where the hell you been?" Grabinett blurted. "You know what happened?
If you'd been around tonight we wouldn't be in this jam."
"You got one hell of a nerve writing a lousy show like this for my
property," Tooky Ween growled, "I want a new writer hired."
"You don't need a writer," Lennox snapped. "You need an education. And
don't try to rap me for that skyscraper fiasco. F-I-A-S-C-O. I voted
for Rear-Projection at the conference."
"You can't get laugh values with projection," the agent rumbled. "You
got to pin-point my boy on a genuine set."
"And what happened on the genuine set? Lennox eyed Mason coldly. You
dropped the dummy? For laugh values?"
"They never gave me a chance to rehearse the chimney," Mason wept.
"When I got halfway down with the bag of presents and I say to Diggy:
Hey Diggy! This ain't the right chimney. It smells wrong. And Diggy
says...."
From the floor the dummy cackled: "Better get your paddle out, Mig.
You're up the creek."
Lennox scowled. "I told your gagmen not to use that. We agreed to cut
it." He enlisted Grabinett. "You backed me up, Mel. Yes?"
"Yeah," Grabinett answered. He too scowled at Mason.
"But it's the best boffola in the routine. When I did it on the
Oddfellows show last year they--"
"Used it last year? You swore the Santa sketch was an original." Lennox
attacked Tooky Ween. "You guaranteed Mason would use nothing but
original material on this show. Fact?"
"Listen," Ween began to explain, "My boy is--"
"Your boy is going to lay a suit for breach of contract in your lap if
you don't watch him."
"It was so strictly original," Mason protested hysterically. "Last year
we did it like a chimney sweeper and his helper. We--"
"And next year it'll be a burglar and his friend. What happened tonight
in the two thousand dollar chimney? Two, Mel?"
"Three!" Grabinett howled. "Three thousand bucks so he could get his
pants full of nails and drop the dummy trying to ungoose hisself. It
was a trappisty!"
"Who'd he drop it on, Tooky?"
"Who cares who?"
"Mel and I care. We're still trying to find a laugh in that sketch."
"I care on who." Irma raked Ween with her eyes. "Happens he dropped
Diggy on me. My head."
Lennox kept his face straight. "Did it get a laugh?"
"Nobody saw. I was behind the set."
"Cuing him from the script," Grabinett sputtered. "He didn't even know
his lines."
"If you don't like my boy, you know what you can do," Ween told him.
"There's co-operation for you," Lennox said bitterly. "What does
he have to lose, Mel? He's got a network contract for his boy. Two
thousand a week guaranteed, work or no work. What does he care about
the show?" Lennox looked at Mason sympathetically. "But you ought to
care, Mig. It won't do you any good to go off and lose your fans while
Tooky collects his ten percent."
"Fifteen," Mason snapped.
"Oh? Three bills a week out of you? For what? Watching? Advising?
Protecting? No. 'If you don't like my boy, you know what you can do.'
Agents!"
"What the hell are you trying to parlay?" Ween demanded.
"I think you're looking for an excuse to get out of the show," Lennox
answered. "You're trying to duck the Kansas lawsuit. Your property got
Mel into this jam. Now you want out so he'll have to face it alone."
"They'll never get away with it," Grabinett shouted. "Neither of you
both. You got me into this. You're stuck with it."
"St. Nicholas!?" Mason cried. "St. Nicholas!"
"Yeah? Show me where it says in the contract," Ween answered, "It ain't
our headache. It's yours."
"Then how would you like it if I handed you a real genuine headache,
Mr. Ween? Something I had been protecting your Almighty property from."
Grabinett blinked ominously. "A nice little headache waiting for your
boy up at the office in a blue envelope. Number six, it is."
"What?" Lennox exclaimed. "Another one, Mel?"
"Yeah. Another one. It come special delivery this morning. What a
sweet Christmas card! Wait'll you read it, Jake. It got me so scared,
I--Wait'll Mig reads it."
"What's this? What's this?" Tooky Ween said angrily. "You been holding
out on my property's fan mail?"
"Not any mail he wants to read. Some elegant letters in blue envelopes
which--"
"Mel! Hold the phone," Lennox interrupted. "We decided we weren't going
to mention those letters to anyone. Are you going to blow it?"
"It's already busted wide open. If Kansas don't take us off the air,
them letters will." Grabinett shook his fist at Ween. "Threatening
letters which come addressed to 'Dear Who He' and signed 'Guess Who'
and they'll curl the hair off all his property, including that atom
bomb shelter he built in Westchester and this no-talent dummy-dropper."
"Cut out them insults," Ween said furiously.
"Cut out them grammar," Lennox murmured. Having turned the united
front back into civil war, he felt secure again; in full control of
the situation, austere and infallible. But the news about the letter
was alarming. It was another attack to be met ... a vicious, anonymous
onslaught, far more dangerous than the threatened lawsuit.
"I been trying to protect my show," Grabinett continued passionately to
Tooky Ween. "I been trying to protect your lousy artiste so he could
earn his two yards and get us a rating, but if you're gonna rat on me,
then I'll--"
"Why don't you leave me alone?" Mason screamed. "What are you trying to
do? Murder me? Leave me alone!"
He scooped up the dummy, thrust past Lennox and dashed out of the
dressing room. The others stared in astonishment, then all four ran
after the star. Mason was at the prop table. He snatched up a ski-pole
and veered out on the naked stage, whirling the pole over his head,
making whimpering sounds. He smashed the single work-light hanging down
from the grid, and the stage was in darkness. Irma screamed. Grabinett
groaned. Tearing noises came from the back wall where the struck sets
were stacked. Lennox took over.
"Angie! Flo! Ruthanna!" he shouted. His favorites heard him. They
opened their dressing room door and came out on the balcony. The stage
was flooded with dilute light from overhead.
"What is it, Jake? What's the matter?"
"Keep that door open. We need light," Lennox answered. He called to
the star: "Mig, don't be a fool! If you want to break something, your
agent's right here."
Mason stopped ripping the flats apart, dropped the ski-pole, turned and
ran wildly behind the master switchboard in the left wings. An instant
later they heard the clatter of his feet ringing down iron steps. They
pursued him down the spiral stairs to the huge dressing room under the
stage where six naked ballet boys in half makeup were standing and
staring in bewilderment.
"Excuse us, ladies," Lennox called. "Where's Mig?"
They pointed to a heavy bulkhead door just oozing shut.
"Jesus Almighty," Grabinett moaned. "He's down in the cellar."
"Find the electrician," Lennox told him. "Tooky, get a flashlight.
Irma, you wait here."
Lennox went through the cellar door, stumbled down an endless zig-zag
flight of concrete steps, clinging to the rail. He came to the bottom
of the steps, lost his grasp on the rail and was lost in blackness.
"Mig!" he shouted.
There was no answer.
"Mig! Come back. It was St. Nicholas."
He fumbled in his pockets for matches, listening for the sound of
footsteps. He heard faint echoes far ahead, and ran forward, meanwhile
pulling a book of matches out and trying to light one. "What a
Christmas," he muttered and blundered against a wall with a stunning
impact. The matches flew from his hand. He clung to the wall, waiting
for the crashing in his head to subside.
"Tooky! Mel!" he called. "Hurry up with the lights!"
There was no answer. There was no light.
"There must be an easier way to earn a living," he told himself and
began to grope blindly.
Suddenly he lost control again. For the second time in that monstrous
day he was attacked by panic. It was inexplicable and gut-chilling.
"No," he said. "No. Please."
He was blacked-out and could not withstand this second blow. He began
to wilt and fight for breath. The mass of the theater overhead pressed
down on him, slowly collapsing, painfully crushing. He clawed at the
wall and searched feebly for the stairs. He turned a corner, another, a
third. He was lost forever.
A hard hand thrust into his neck. Lennox cried out and jerked his arm
up. He was struck savagely across the forearm by something stiff and
wooden. He backed away from this menace and blundered into a jagged
field of metal bones that rattled and clashed. Lennox sagged to his
knees and cried shamelessly. That was how Sam Cooper found him half
an hour later; kneeling in a cellar storeroom amidst overturned music
stands, sobbing before an imperious wooden Indian.
Without a word, Cooper pulled Lennox to his feet, brushed him off and
led him back to the cellar stairs. His flashlight played erratically on
the glistening tunnels and rotting wooden doors. In the days of past
glory, the Venice had been one of the big musical houses and its vaults
were stuffed with the jetsam of ancient hits: Congo masks, Hessian
boots, racks of tarnished costumes, ear-trumpets, Civil War muskets, an
entire Merry-Go-Round with peeling poles and blind horses.
"Love to steal them and deal them out to Mig's audience some night,"
Cooper murmured.
"The guns?"
"The ear-trumpets."
Cooper helped Lennox up the concrete stairs. As he thrust open the
bulkhead door, he said: "Easy. Gone home. The dancers."
"Get reporters," Lennox said. "I found Judge Crater."
They entered the empty dressing room which was still lit. Cooper sat
Lennox down before a bulb-ringed mirror, handed him a box of cleansing
tissue and a comb. Lennox cleaned himself wearily and pretended to comb
his hair. Cooper lit a cigarette and thrust it between Jake's lips.
"I don't smoke," Lennox said, handing it back.
"You smoke when you're plastered."
"I'm not plastered."
"It says here." Cooper took a drag. "They've got an old Bechstein Grand
in that cellar," he said softy. "I'm going to take your tape recorder
down some night and break it up with an axe. The Bechstein. Could sell
a dub to every pianist in town. Wish fulfillment."
"Do me a favor," Lennox said.
"Name it."
"Break up the wooden Indian on the Flip."
"I thought that was Judge Crater."
"I thought it was Kris Kringle," Lennox said somberly, fingering his
neck. Suddenly he asked: "Where's Mason? Dead?"
"Went under the cellar. Came up the other side. Went back to his
dressing room and doing very well I hear."
Lennox grunted thrice in anguish. Cooper eyed him solemnly in the
mirror. His face wore a permanent expression of perplexity. He was
tall, compact, with strong hands, high cheekbones and deep-set narrow
eyes. He had the well-scrubbed Princeton look, and as a matter of fact
had been a big wheel in Triangle shows before he broke into television.
He was a mediocre song-writer and a magnificent rehearsal pianist,
which is a high art unappreciated outside the business.
Cooper and Lennox had been close friends for over three years, and
for the past ten months Sam had been sharing Lennox's apartment. When
Lennox invited him, Sam had moved in his grand piano, seventeen copper
pots, one hundred and thirteen record albums, a complete Hi-Fi sound
system, two Siamese cats, and a mink-dyed skunk. He'd said: "Gosh,
fellows, let's room together all through school." They were still
together, despite the skunk.
"Great God on echo!" Lennox said after a long pause, "I think I'm on my
way to the booby hatch."
"Oh? Why the hell did you go charging down there? For Mig?"
"I was playing the scene."
"Rover Boys to the rescue. Which were you? Fun-loving Tom?"
"No. Noodnick Jake. And then I lost hold...."
"On Mig?"
"Myself. You saw me down there...." Lennox winced in shame.
"Hysterical."
"Maybe you're afraid of the dark."
"I wish it were something nice and simple like that; but the cellar was
just the pay-off on something worse. I.... When did you see me last?"
"Yesterday. After rehearsal. You went out for a drink with Avery
Borden," Cooper answered promptly.
"I remember that. I remember the drinks. Then--I didn't sleep home last
night?"
"Not last night. No."
"Christ, stand by me!" Lennox muttered.
Cooper looked bewildered. "You've slept out before. Why the production?
What plays?"
"I've lost a day," Lennox said slowly. "I don't know where I was or
what I was doing from nine last night to nine tonight."
"Um. Loaded?"
"Looks like."
"Smells like. What were you drinking? Caveat Emptor Reserve?"
"I've got a feeling that I did something dirty.... Something that's
going to shock hell out of me if I ever find out.... Something as dark
as that cellar. Maybe that's why I blew down there."
"You're not the dirty type, Jake."
"But I'm scared. I--You know those newsreels where they dynamite a
smoke-stack?"
"Yep. Always comes after the Miami water-skis. They play suspense-type
music in two-four."
"I feel like that moment just before everything collapses. But what
blew up, Sam? What happened?"
"You think something blew up between tonight and last night?"
"I know it. That must be why I blacked out. I can remember ... I can
remember a Quaker and a blonde...."
"Quaker? Man from Philadelphia?"
"Yes. A Quaker and a blonde and a knot."
"Blond woman?"
"I think so."
"What kind of knot?"
"What kind could there be?"
"Dozens. The kind you tie, like hangman's knot. How fast a ship goes. A
knot in wood. A knot in palmistry. A knot in--"
"You're no help. I can't remember. Just a Quaker and a blonde and a
knot. It's crazy. Why'm I shaking like this?" Lennox tried to control
himself. His eyes burned with tears. "Look at me. Jake Lennox, leader
of men, crying like a fag."
"You know something," Cooper told him solemnly. "On you it's becoming.
Makes you human."
"Human!" Lennox burst out in contempt, grinding his eyes with his
knuckles.
"You need a bath and some food," Cooper said firmly. "Leave us go
home. On your feet, Beaver Patrol. Watch it! You've got your hand in
something."
"Robust Juvenile No. 4," Lennox muttered, peering at the makeup jar.
"Robust and juvenile men.... Forward!"
They left the dressing room, turned out the lights and mounted the
spiral staircase. A new work-light had been hung from the iron grid
high above the stage. Mason's dressing room was open and an informal
party was in progress, Mason had the dummy in one hand and a bottle in
the other. He was going through a comedy routine while Grabinett, Ween,
Irma and a dozen others shrieked with laughter.
As Cooper and Lennox passed the door, the dummy cackled: "Ah! The
Thinker and the poor man's Paderoosky. Merry Christmas, boys."
Lennox pulled to a stop despite Cooper's urging. "Peace on earth, good
will to all men," he answered savagely. "For five thousand dollars can
you tell us what it means?"
Grabinett, Ween and Mason glared at Lennox with hatred. He scowled
back and then permitted Cooper to lead him to the stage door. As they
plunged out into the sleet, he growled: "I'll fight."
"Who?"
"I don't know ... but I'll fight. I'll go down fighting, and I won't go
down."