He writeth a fair and swift hand, and is completely versed in the four
first rules of Arithmetic, in the Rule of Three, (which is sometimes
called the Golden Rule,) and in Practice. We mention these things, that
we may leave no room for cavillers to say, that any thing essential hath
been omitted in our definition; else, to speak the truth, these are but
ordinary accomplishments, and such as every understrapper at a desk is
commonly furnished with. The character we treat of soareth higher.
He is clean and neat in his person; not from a vain-glorious desire of
setting himself forth to advantage in the eyes of the other sex, (with
which vanity too many of our young sparks now-a-days are infected,) but
to do credit (as we say) to the office. For this reason he evermore
taketh care that his desk or his books receive no soil; the which things
he is commonly as solicitous to have fair and unblemished, as the owner
of a fine horse is to have him appear in good keep.
He riseth early in the morning; not because early rising conduceth to
health, (though he doth not altogether despise that consideration,) but
chiefly to the intent that he may be first at the desk. There is his
post--there he delighteth to be; unless when his meals, or necessity,
calleth him away; which time he always esteemeth as lost, and maketh as
short as possible.
He is temperate in eating and drinking, that he may preserve a clear
head and steady hand for his master’s service. He is also partly induced
to this observation of the rules of temperance by his respect for
religion, and the laws of his country; which things (it may once for all
be noted) do add special assistances to his actions, but do not and
cannot furnish the main spring or motive thereto. His first ambition (as
appeareth all along) is to be a good clerk, his next a good Christian, a
good patriot, &c.
Correspondent to this, he keepeth himself honest, not for fear of the
laws, but because he hath observed how unseemly an article it maketh in
the day-book or ledger, when a sum is set down lost or missing; it being
his pride to make these books to agree and to tally, the one side with
the other, with a sort of architectural symmetry and correspondence.
He marrieth, or marrieth not, as best suiteth with his employer’s views.
Some merchants do the rather desire to have married men in their
counting-houses, because they think the married state a pledge for
their servants’ integrity, and an incitement to them to be industrious;
and it was an observation of a late lord mayor of London, that the sons
of clerks do generally prove clerks themselves, and that merchants
encouraging persons in their employ to marry, and to have families, was
the best method of securing a breed of sober, industrious young men
attached to the mercantile interest. Be this as it may, such a character
as we have been describing, will wait till the pleasure of his employer
is known on this point; and regulateth his desires by the custom of the
house or firm to which he belongeth.
He avoideth profane oaths and jesting, as so much time lost from his
employ; what spare time he hath for conversation, which in a
counting-house such as we have been supposing can be but small, he
spendeth in putting seasonable questions to such of his fellows, (and
sometimes _respectfully_ to the master himself,) who can give him
information respecting the price and quality of goods, the state of
exchange, or the latest improvements in book-keeping; thus making the
motion of his lips, as well as of his fingers, subservient to his
master’s interest. Not that he refuseth a brisk saying, or a cheerful
sally of wit, when it comes enforced, is free of offence, and hath a
convenient brevity. For this reason he hath commonly some such phrase as
this in his mouth:--
It’s a slovenly look
To blot your book.
Or,
Red ink for ornament, black for use,
The best of things are open to abuse.
So upon the eve of any great holiday, of which he keepeth one or two at
least every year, he will merrily say in the hearing of a confidential
friend, but to none other:--
All work and no play
Makes Jack a dull boy.
Or,
A bow always bent must crack at last.
But then this must always be understood to be spoken confidentially,
and, as we say, _under the rose_.
Lastly, his dress is plain, without singularity; with no other ornament
than the quill, which is the badge of his function, stuck under the
dexter ear, and this rather for convenience of having it at hand, when
he hath been called away from his desk, and expecteth to resume his seat
there again shortly, than from any delight which he taketh in foppery
or ostentation. The colour of his clothes is generally noted to be black
rather than brown, brown rather than blue or green. His whole deportment
is staid, modest, and civil. His motto is regularity.----
This character was sketched, in an interval of business, to divert some
of the melancholy hours of a counting-house. It is so little a creature
of fancy, that it is scarce any thing more than a recollection of some
of those frugal and economical maxims which, about the beginning of the
last century, (England’s meanest period,) were endeavoured to be
inculcated and instilled into the breasts of the London
apprentices,[161] by a class of instructors who might not inaptly be
termed _the masters of mean morals_. The astonishing narrowness and
illiberality of the lessons contained in some of those books is
inconceivable by those whose studies have not led them that way, and
would almost induce one to subscribe to the hard censure which Drayton
has passed upon the mercantile spirit:--
The gripple merchant, born to be the curse
Of this brave isle.[162]
[161] This term designated a larger class of young men than that to
which it is now confined; it took in the articled clerks of merchants
and bankers, the George Barnwells of the day.
[162] The Reflector.
* * * * *
~Defoeana.~
No. I.