A _literary_ character you view,
Known to the moderns only--W:
I was physician to king William;
When absent, he would say, “how--ill I am!”
In ancient days if I had liv’d, the asp
Which poison’d Egypt’s queen, had been a--Wasp;
And the death-coldness of th’ imperial arm
With life reviving had again been--Warm.
A friend to sprightliness, that neuter it
By sudden pow’r I’ve chang’d into a--Wit.
The vainly-provident industrious ant
With cruel sport I oft reduce to--Want;
Whene’er I meet with an unlucky hack,
I give the creature a tremendous--Whack:
And many a time a puppy cries for help,
If I desert capriciously the--Whelp.
A friend to architecture, I turn all
(As quick as Chelt’nham builders) into--Wall.
I’m honest, for whene’er I find some hose,
I seek the owner, loud exclaiming--Whose?
Farther than Lancaster I educate,
My system’s always to interrogate;
Already have I taught my very hat
Questions of fact to ask, and cry out--What?
Questions of time my poultry, for the hen
Cackles chronology, enquiring--When?
My laundry’s labour I divide with ashes;
It is with them the laundress scours and--Washes:
And if an ugly rent I find, the hole
Instantly vanishes, becoming--Whole.
In short, my merits are so bright to view
How good soe’er you may be, just or true,
You can but halve my worth, for I am--_double you_.
_Cheltenham._
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