FOR A TOMB TO THE MEMORY OF CAPTAIN HEWITSON, OF THE SHIP, TOWN OF
ULVERSTON.
_By James Montgomery, Esq._
Weep for a seaman, honest and sincere,
Not cast away, but brought to anchor here;
Storms had o’erwhelm’d him, but the conscious wave
Repented, and resign’d him to the grave:
In harbour, safe from shipwreck, now he lies,
Till Time’s last signal blazes through the skies:
Refitted in a moment, then shall he
Sail from this port on an eternal sea.
Vol. I.--7.
[Illustration: ~My Snuff-box.~]
He only who is “noseless himself” will deem this a trifling article. My
prime minister of pleasure is my snuff-box. The office grew out of my
“liking a pinch, now and then,” and carrying a bit of snuff, screwed up
in paper, wherewith, some two or three times a day, I delighted to treat
myself to a sensation, and a sneeze. Had I kept a journal of my
snuff-taking business from that time, it would have been as instructive
as “the life of that learned antiquary, Elias Ashmole, Esq., drawn up by
himself by way of diary;” in submitting which to the world, its
pains-taking editor says, that such works “let us into the secret
history of the affairs of their several times, discover the springs of
motion, and display many valuable, though minute circumstances,
overlooked or unknown to our general historians; and, to conclude all,
satiate our largest curiosity.” A comparative view of the important
annals of Mr. Ashmole, and some reminiscent incidents of my
snuff-taking, I reserve for my autobiography.
To manifest the necessity of my present brief undertaking, I beg to
state, that I still remain under the disappointment of drawings,
complained of in the former sheet. I resorted on this, as on all
difficult occasions, to a pinch of snuff; and, having previously
resolved on taking “the first thing that came uppermost,” for an
engraving and a topic, my hand first fell on the top of my snuff-box. If
the reader be angry because I have told the truth, it is no more than I
expect; for, in nine cases out of ten, a preference is given to a
pretence, though privily known to be a falsehood by those to whom it is
offered.
As soon as I wear out one snuff-box I get another--a silver one, and I,
parted company long ago. My customary boxes have been _papier-maché_,
plain black: for if I had any figure on the lid it was suspected to be
some hidden device; an answer of direct negation was a ground of doubt,
offensively expressed by an insinuating smile, or the more open rudeness
of varied questions. This I could only resist by patience; but the
_parlement_ excise on that virtue was more than I could afford, and
therefore my choice of a black box. The last of that colour I had worn
out, at a season when I was unlikely to have more than three or four
visitors worth a pinch of snuff, and I then bought _this_ box, because
it was two-thirds cheaper than the former, and because I approved the
pictured ornament. While the tobacconist was securing my shilling, he
informed me that the figure had utterly excluded it from the choice of
every one who had noticed it. My selection was agreeable to him in a
monied view, yet, both he, and his man, eyed the box so unkindly, that I
fancied they extended their dislike to me; and I believe they did. Of
the few who have seen it since, it has been favourably received by only
one--my little Alice--who, at a year old, prefers it before all others
for a plaything, and even accepts it as a substitute for myself, when I
wish to slip away from her caresses. The elder young ones call it the
“ugly old man,” but _she_ admires it, as the innocent infant, in the
story-book, did the harmless snake, with whom he daily shared his
bread-and-milk breakfast. I regard it as the likeness of an infirm human
being, who, especially requiring comfort and protection, is doomed to
neglect and insult from childhood to the grave; and all this from no
self-default, but the accident of birth--as if the unpurposed cruelty of
nature were a warrant for man’s perversion and wickedness. Of the
individual I know nothing, save what the representation seems to
tell--that he lives in the world, and is not of it. His basket, with a
few pamphlets for sale, returns good, in the shape of knowledge, to evil
doers, who, as regards himself, are not to be instructed. His upward
look is a sign--common to these afflicted ones--of inward hope of
eternal mercy, in requital for temporal injustice: besides that, and his
walking-staff, he appears to have no other support on earth. The
intelligence of his patient features would raise desire, were he alive
and before me, to learn by what process he gained the understanding they
express: his face is not more painful, and I think scarcely less wise
than Locke’s, if we may trust the portrait of that philosopher. In the
summer, after a leisure view of the Dulwich gallery for the first time,
I found myself in the quiet parlour of a little-frequented road-side
house, enjoying the recollections of a few glorious pictures in that
munificent exhibition; while pondering with my box in my hand, the print
on its lid diverted me into a long reverie on what he, whom represented,
might have been under other circumstances, and I felt not alone on the
earth while there was another as lonely. Since then, this “garner for my
grain” has been worn out by constant use; with every care, it cannot
possibly keep its service a month longer. I shall regret the loss: for
its little Deformity has been my frequent and pleasant companion in many
a solitary hour;--the box itself is the only one I ever had, wherein
simulated or cooling friendship has not dipped.
*
* * * * *
~Garrick Plays.~
No. IV.
[From “All Fools” a Comedy by George Chapman: 1605.]
_Love’s Panegyric._
-------------’tis Nature’s second Sun,
Causing a spring of Virtues where he shines;
And as without the Sun, the world’s Great Eye,
All colours, beauties, both of art and nature,
Are given in vain to man; so without Love
All beauties bred in women are in vain,
All virtues born in men lie buried;
For Love _informs_ them as the Sun doth colours
And as the Sun, reflecting his warm beams
Against the earth, begets all fruits and flowers
So Love, fair shining in the inward man,
Brings forth in him the honourable fruits
Of valour, wit, virtue, and haughty thoughts.
Brave resolution, and divine discourse.
_Love with Jealousy._
--------such Love is like a smoky fire
In a cold morning. Though the fire be chearful,
Yet is the smoke so foul and cumbersome,
’Twere better lose the fire than find the smoke.
_Bailiffs routed._
I walking in the place where men’s Law Suits
Are heard and pleaded, not so much as dreaming
Of any such encounter; steps me forth
Their valiant Foreman with the word “I ’rest you.”
I made no more ado but laid these paws
Close on his shoulders, tumbling him to earth;
And there sat he on his posteriors
Like a baboon: and turning me about,
I strait espied the whole troop issuing on me.
I step me back, and drawing my old friend here.
Made to the midst of ’em, and all unable
To endure the shock, all rudely fell in rout.
And down the stairs they ran in such a fury,
As meeting with a troop of Lawyers there,
Mann’d by their Clients (some with ten, some with twenty,
Some five, some three; he that had least had one),
Upon the stairs, they bore them down afore them.
But such a rattling then there was amongst them.
Of ravish’d Declarations, Replications,
Rejoinders, and Petitions, all their books
And writings torn, and trod on, and some lost,
That the poor Lawyers coming to the Bar
Could say nought to the matter, but instead
Were fain to rail, and talk beside their books,
Without all order.
* * * * *
[From the “Late Lancashire Witches,” a Comedy, by Thomas Heywood.]
_A Household Bewitched._
My Uncle has of late become the sole
Discourse of all the country; for of a man respected
As master of a govern’d family,
The House (as if the ridge were fix’d below,
And groundsils lifted up to make the roof)
All now’s turn’d topsy-turvy,
In such a retrograde and preposterous way
As seldom hath been heard of, I think never.
The Good Man
In all obedience kneels unto his Son;
He with an austere brow commands his Father.
The Wife presumes not in the Daughter’s sight
Without a prepared curtsy; the Girl she
Expects it as a duty; chides her Mother,
Who quakes and trembles at each word she speaks.
And what’s as strange, the Maid--she domineers
O’er her young Mistress, who is awed by her.
The Son, to whom the Father creeps and bends,
Stands in as much fear of the groom his Man!
All in such rare disorder, that in some
As it breeds pity, and in others wonder,
So in the most part laughter. It is thought,
This comes by WITCHCRAFT.
* * * * *
[From “Wit in a Constable,” a Comedy, by Henry Glapthorn.]
_Books._
_Collegian._ Did you, ere we departed from the College,
O’erlook my Library?
_Servant._ Yes, Sir; and I find,
Altho’ you tell me Learning is immortal,
The paper and the parchment ’tis contain’d in
Savours of much mortality.
The moths have eaten more
Authentic Learning, than would richly furnish
A hundred country pedants; yet the worms
Are not one letter wiser.