In “The Times,” a few days since, appeared the following
advertisement:--“To SCHOOL ASSISTANTS.--Wanted, a respectable gentleman
of good character, capable of teaching the classics as far as Homer, and
Virgil. Apply, &c. &c.” A day or two after the above had appeared, the
gentleman to whom application was to be made received a letter as
follows:--“Sir--With reference to an advertisement which _were_ inserted
in _The Times_ newspaper a few days since, respecting a school
assistant, I beg to state that I should be happy to fill that situation;
but as most of my _frends_ reside in London, and not knowing how far
Homer and Virgil _is_ from town, I beg to state that I should not like
to engage to teach the _classics_ farther than _Hammersmith_ or _Turnham
Green_, or at the very utmost distance, farther than _Brentford_,
_Wating_ your reply, I am, Sir, &c. &c.
“John Sparks.”
The schoolmaster, judging of the classical abilities of this “youth of
promise,” by the wisdom displayed in his letter, considered him too dull
a _spark_ for the situation, and his letter remained unanswered. (This
puts us in mind of a person who once advertised for a “_strong coal
heaver_,” and a poor man calling upon him the day after, saying, “he had
not got such a thing as a ‘_strong coal heaver_,’ but he had brought a
‘_strong coal scuttle_,’ made of the best iron; and if that would answer
the purpose, he should have it a bargain.”)--_Times, 1st January, 1827_.
* * * * *