SHEILAH'S LOYALTY
A fortnight before my wedding-day it became necessary for me to send a
small mob of cattle away to Bourke, and as I had no drover, and could
not afford to wait for one to put in an appearance, I determined to take
them down myself. Accordingly, having bidden Sheilah good-bye, off I
went, and, after what seemed an eternity, delivered them to the agent
and paid the cheque I received in return into the bank to my account.
Then, with a joyful heart, I turned my horse's head towards home once
more. The journey back was a quicker one than it had been going, and
only occupied four days. Night was falling as I reached the township,
and as soon as I had turned my horses loose and snatched a hasty meal, I
changed my clothes and crossed the creek to McLeod's homestead. It was
the night before my wedding-day, and with a wave of happiness flooding
my heart I shut the gate behind me and went up the path. A warm glow of
lamplight streamed from the window of the sitting-room, and as the blind
had not been drawn, I could see Sheilah, her father and Colin McLeod
sitting talking earnestly together at the table. The solemn expressions
on their faces frightened me, though I could not tell why, and it was
with almost a feeling of nervousness that I pushed open the door and
walked into the room.
When I entered there was a little embarrassed silence for a moment, and
then Sheilah came across the room and kissed me before them all and
wished me joy of being home again. Both old McLeod and Colin then shook
me by the hand, but it seemed as if there were something they were
keeping back from me. I passed with Sheilah to the other end of the
room, and stood leaning against the mantlepiece waiting for the matter
to be explained to me. It was Sheilah who spoke first. She stood beside
me, and, taking my hand, said to her father,--
'Dad, dear, do not let us beat about the bush. Tell Jim
straightforwardly what is said about him.'
I pricked up my ears and felt a chill like that of death pass over me.
What was coming now? I asked myself. Old McLeod rose from his chair as
if he were going to make a speech, while Colin looked another way.
'James, my lad,' said the old man, 'ye must forgive us for ever
listening to such talk on the eve of your wedding-day, but we will trust
to your good sense to understand why we do it. Remember, none of us
believe it. But we feel we ought to have your word against those who are
hinting things against ye.'
'What is it they are saying against me?' I asked, my heart fairly
standing still with fear of what his answer would be.
Old McLeod paused for a moment, and then, looking me full in the face,
said,--
'James, while ye have been away inquiries have been made concerning the
disappearance of the Sydney detective, Jarman, who was here at the time
of the races last year, and who has never since been heard of.'
'But what has that got to do with me?' I asked, feeling all the time
that my face must be giving damning evidence against me. 'Do they accuse
me of having murdered him, or what?'
'No, no! Not quite as bad as that! But they say he was last seen
walking through the township towards Whispering Pete's house in your
company; and that he has never been seen since.'
'Of course, he was seen with me,' I said. 'He dined and spent the
evening with us at Pete's house. But I don't see anything suspicious in
that--do you?'
'Not at all,' said the old man. 'But what became of him afterwards?'
'How can I tell you?' I cried impatiently. 'I was told that he went
after the horse up North. He did not make me his confidant. Why should
he? I had never seen him before that day, and I have never seen him
since.'
'Don't be angry with father for telling you what people say, Jim, dear,'
said Sheilah, looking into my face with her beautiful eyes. 'Remember,
none of us have ever doubted you for a moment.'
'Thank God for that, Sheilah,' I answered. 'It would not be like you to
believe ill of an innocent man.'
Colin McLeod was the next to speak, and what he said was to the
point--straightforward and honourable, like himself.
'Heggarstone,' said he, 'in my official capacity I have to follow any
instructions that are given to me; but I want you to understand that
personally I do not believe you had any hand in the man's
disappearance.'
'Thank you, Colin,' I said. 'I don't believe you do.'
Old McLeod seemed to me to be considering something in his mind, for
presently he turned from looking out of the window and said,--
'James, it's a nasty thing to ask ye to do. But I do it for motives of
my own. Here is a Bible.' He took one down from a shelf and laid it on
the table before me. 'For form's sake, will ye swear on it that ye know
nothing of, and had nothing to do with, the disappearance of this man?
It will make my mind easier if ye will, because, then, I can give your
accusers the lie direct.'
I looked from the old man to the open Bible, then at Sheilah, then last
at Colin. But before I could do anything, Sheilah had sprung forward and
snatched up the Bible, crying, as she did so, 'No! no! There shall be no
swearing. I won't have it. Jim's word is the word of a God-fearing,
honest man, and we'll take that or nothing. Then, turning to me, she
said, 'Jim, you will tell them, on your love for me, that you know
nothing of the matter, won't you, dear?'
The room seemed to rock and swing round me. A black mist was rising
before my eyes. I was conscious only that I was lost; that I was about
to lie, and wilfully lie, to the one woman of all others that I wanted
to think well of me. What could I do? If I refused to tell them I would
be giving assent to the charges brought against me, and in that case
send Pete to the gallows, while, by being compelled to give her up, I
should break Sheilah's heart. If I perjured myself and swore that I knew
nothing, then some day the truth might come out; and what would happen
then? Like a flash up came the remembrance of Pete's visit, and my oath
to him. Already I felt that they were wondering at my silence. Oh, the
agony of those moments! Then I made up my mind; and, taking Sheilah's
hand, lifted it to my lips, and said deliberately, with a full knowledge
of what I was doing--but with every word cutting deeper and deeper into
my heart,--
'I swear, by my love for you, Sheilah, that I know nothing of the man's
fate.' Then she pulled my face down to hers and kissed me before them
all.
'Jim,' she said, 'you know that I never doubted you.'
The others shook me by the hand, and then, after a few words about the
arrangements for the morrow, I said good night and went home. But I went
like a man who did not know where he was going. I took no heed of my
actions, but walked on and on--turning neither to the right hand nor to
the left--conscious only of my degradation, of my lie to Sheilah. I was
ruined! Ruined! Ruined! That was my one thought. Then, arriving at the
river bank, I threw myself down upon the ground, and cried like a little
child. Never shall I be able to rid my mind of the memory of that
agonising night. From long before midnight till the stars were paling in
the east, preparatory to dawn, I lay just where I had dropped, hopeless
even unto death! All joy had gone out of existence for me. And this was
my wedding-day--the day that should have been the happiest of my life.
Gradually the darkness departed from the sky, and in the chill grey of
dawn I rose to my feet, and, worn and weary past all belief, like a
hunted criminal fearing to be seen by his fellow-man, I crept down to
the water's edge and laved my burning face. Then, fording the river
higher up, I went back to my home. There, in the morning sunlight, stood
the pretty house I had built, surrounded by the garden on which I had
expended so much loving thought and care. On the posts of the verandah
and along the eastern wall the geranium creeper was just beginning to
climb. My dog came from his kennel near the wood heap and fawned upon
me; my favourite horse whinnied to me from the slip panels near the
stockyard gate; everything seemed happy and full of the joy of
living--only I, who by rights should have been happiest of them all, was
miserable. I stooped and patted the dog, and then went into the house.
In every room was the pretty furniture of which Sheilah and I were so
proud. The dining-room, with its neat appointments, seemed to mock me;
the drawing-room, in the corner of which stood Sheilah's piano, sent
over the previous day, turned upon me in mute reproach. All the
happiness of my life called me coward and liar, and taunted me with my
shame. I went into my bedroom and looked at myself in the glass. I could
hardly believe that it was my own face I saw reflected there, so drawn
and haggard was it. As it was not yet five o'clock, I threw myself upon
my bed and tried to sleep; but it was impossible. I could do nothing
but think. Over and over last night's scene I went; with horrible
distinctness every circumstance rose before me. At last I could bear it
no longer; so I got up and went out of the house again. And this was my
wedding-morn. God help me! My wedding-morn!
In ten hours--for the ceremony was fixed for three o'clock in the
afternoon--I should be standing by Sheilah's side to swear before God
and man that I would take her into my keeping, that I would love and
cherish her all the days of my life. How had I already shown my love for
her? How had I cherished her? Oh, wretched, wretched man that I was! It
were better for me that I should die before I took that vow!
In an attempt to discover some relief from my awful thoughts I set
myself some work, fed the animals, milked the cow, boiled myself some
water, and made a cup of tea; and then, finding that it was not yet
eight o'clock, I caught a horse and rode off into the back country. How
far I went I could not say, for I took no heed of time or distance. But
it must have been a good journey, for when I returned to the homestead
my horse was completely knocked up. By this time it was one o'clock,
and I knew that in another hour I should have to begin my preparations
for the ceremony. A bath somewhat revived me, and I passed to my
bedroom, where my wedding suit lay staring at me from the bed, feeling a
little refreshed. By half-past two I was ready and waiting for the
kind-hearted storekeeper I have mentioned before, and whom I had asked
to act as my best man. I dreaded his coming, for some unknown reason;
yet when I heard his firm step upon the path it seemed to brace me like
a tonic. I called him into the house.
'Good luck to you,' he said, as he entered and shook me by the hand. 'If
ever a man deserves a change of fortune, you're that one. Heaven knows
you've worked hard enough for it.'
'It's about time, for hitherto luck hasn't run my way, has it?' I
answered bitterly.
'Hullo!' he cried, looking at me in surprise. 'This is not the sort of
humour to be in on your wedding-day. Jim, my boy, if I didn't happen to
know that you love the girl you are going to marry with your whole heart
and soul, I should feel a bit concerned about you.'
'Yes, you know I love her, don't you?' I answered, as if I desired that
point to be reassured on by an independent witness. 'There can be no
possible doubt about my love for Sheilah--God bless her! But I'm
afraid!--horribly afraid.'
'Of what?' he asked; then, mistaking my meaning, 'but, there, it's only
natural. They say every bridegroom's afraid.'
'Then God help every bridegroom who feels as I do--that's all I can
say.'
'Come, come,' he said, picking up his hat, 'this won't do at all. I
can't have you talking like this. Anyhow, we had better be off. It's
close upon a quarter to three now, and it would never do to keep them
waiting.'
Accordingly we passed out of the house, and set off for the church,
which stood on a little hill above the township. All through that walk I
stumbled along like one in a dream, talking always with feverish
eagerness, afraid even to trust myself to think of what I said. For was
I not marrying Sheilah with a lie upon my lips?
As it happened, we were the first to arrive at the church, so we went
inside and waited. Presently others began to put in an appearance, until
by three o'clock the little church was well filled. A few moments later
there was a turning of heads, and a whisper went about that the bride
was arriving. By this time I was trembling like a leaf, and, I don't
doubt, looked more like a man about to be hanged than a bridegroom
waiting for his bride. Then the doors were pushed open, and in a stream
of sunshine Sheilah, dressed all in white, entered leaning on her
father's arm. When she got half-way up the aisle I went down to meet
her, and we walked to the altar rails, where the old clergyman was
waiting for us, together. Then the ceremony commenced.
When the last words were spoken, I, James, had taken Sheilah to be my
wedded wife, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness
and in health, swearing to love her and to cherish her, till death
should us part. The good old man gave us his blessing, and then, with my
bride upon my arm, I passed down the aisle again towards the porch. The
greatest event of my life was celebrated, Sheilah and I were man and
wife.
The little crowd, gathered on either side of the porch, parted to let us
through, and we were in the act of turning down the path which would
bring us out opposite McLeod's gate, when I was conscious of a tall
figure in uniform coming towards me. It was Sergeant Burns, chief of the
township police. He came up and stood before us--then, placing his hand
upon my shoulder, said,--
'James Heggarstone, in the Queen's name, I arrest you on a charge of
murder. I warn you that anything you may say will be used as evidence
against you.'
Darkness seemed suddenly to fall upon me but before it enveloped me
completely I saw the crowd draw closer to us. I felt Sheilah slip from
my side and fall, with a little moan, to the ground. After that I
remember no more of what happened, till I woke to find myself in a cell
at the police station, feeling the most miserable man in the whole
scheme of the universe.
The blow had fallen at last.