“Oh, how do you do? Are you the Paying Teller? Well,—that is,—could I
please see somebody else? You see, I’ve just opened an account, and I
want to get some of my money out. There’s the loveliest hat in
Featherton’s window, marked down to—but, that’s just it! If I get my
money from a Professional Teller, he’ll tell all about my private
affairs, and how much I pay for my hats, and everything!”
“Not at all, Miss. We are called Tellers because we never tell anything
about our depositors’ affairs. We’re not allowed to.”
“Oh, how lovely! Well, then,—if you won’t tell—I’ve never drawn a
check before, and I don’t know how! Will you help me?”
“Certainly; but I must ask you to make haste. Have you a check-book?”
“How curt you are! I thought you’d like to help me. Men ‘most always do.
Yes, I have a check-book,—that other clerk gave it to me. But I don’t
like it, and I want to exchange it. See,—it has a horrid, plain black
muslin cover! Don’t you have any bound in gray suède, with gilt edges.
I’m willing to pay extra.”
“We have no other kind, Miss. How much money do you want?”
“Why, I don’t know. You see, Daddy put a thousand dollars in this bank
for me. I suppose I may as well take it all at once. What do you think?”
“I think probably your father meant for you to take only a part of it at
a time.”
“Yes; I think so, too. He said it would teach me business habits. He
chose this bank because you have a special department for ladies. But if
this is it, I don’t think much of it. To be sure the plate glass and
mahogany are all right,—but it looks like ‘put up complete for $74.99.’
Don’t you think Mission furniture and Chintz would be cozier? Yes, yes,
I’ll draw my check! Do give me a moment to draw my breath first. You see
I’m not used to these things. Why, with a real bank account of my own, I
feel like an Organized Charity! I suppose I ought to hunt up some Worthy
Poor! Well, I’ll just get that hat first. Now, let me see. Oh, yes, of
course you may help me, but I want to do the actual drawing myself. It’s
the only way to learn. Why, when I took Art lessons, I made a burnt-wood
sofa pillow all myself! The teacher just stood and looked at me. He said
I had Fate-sealing eyes. Why, you’re looking at my eyes just the way he
did! You seem so rattled,—why do you? Don’t you know how to draw a
check, either?”
“Oh, yes, indeed; I have drawn millions of checks.”
“Millions of checks! How exciting! What do you do with all your money?”
“Oh, it isn’t my money, you know.”
“Aren’t you ashamed to be drawing millions and billions of other
people’s money! I have a friend who is engaged to a bank president who
got caught drawing checks.”
“Excuse me, but how much money do you want to draw?”
“How much is it customary for ladies to draw?”
“Well, that depends upon how much they need.”
“Oh, I see. People in need draw more than those in comfortable
circumstances, I suppose. I am not exactly what would be called ‘a needy
person.’ Since I left school, of course, I have my own allowance. Do you
approve of girls being put on an allowance, or do you think it is nicer
for them to have accounts with the trades-people, and not be treated
like children?”
“I should think that would depend. Would a check for $100.00 be enough
for to-day? What did you have in mind to use it for?”
“I think you are very impertinent. I am surprised that people in banks
are allowed to ask such questions. Why should you concern yourself with
how much money I want?”
“I was endeavoring to help you about your check.”
“Oh, yes, certainly. How could you possibly draw checks if you didn’t
know how much the checks were to be! I like checks much better than
stripes or plaids. Lucille is making me a beautiful walking suit that is
the loveliest imported check that you ever saw. And checks are nice for
men, don’t you think?”
“Is it for the hat or for the suit that you want to draw a check?”
“Yes, of course, it is for the hat at Featherton’s that I want the
check. I am afraid you will think I am silly, but really I have so many
things to think about that it is hard to keep my mind on just one thing.
You must make allowances for girls who have so many things to think
about. Of course, with a man like you, who only has checks and money to
think about all day long, it is so easy—I’d be bored if I had nothing
but money and checks all day. I should think it would be diverting to
have somebody call and talk about something else.”
“It is. Come, now, let us make out this check. You must write the number
first.”
“Oh, isn’t it exciting! Now, wait, let me do it. You just watch out that
it’s all right. But are you sure you know how yourself? I’d rather have
an Expert to teach me. You know, nowadays, skilled labor counts in
everything.”
“I assure you I’m competent in this matter, but I must beg you to make
haste. Write the number in this blank.”
“What number?”
“Number one, of course. It’s your first check.”
“There! I knew you were ready to tell everything! Suppose it is my first
check, I don’t want everybody to know it. Can’t I begin with a larger
number, and then go right on?”
“Why, yes, I suppose you can, if you like. Begin with 100.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I guess I’ll begin with 4887. I can make lovely 7’s.
Don’t you think 4887 is a pretty number?”
“Very pretty, but—”
“Now =_you’re_= wasting time. There, I’ve written the number. What
next?”
“The date, please. And the year.”
“Well, I’ve written the date, but it spilled all over the year space. It
doesn’t matter, though, ’cause it’ll be this year for a long while yet,
and this check will be vouched, or whatever you call it, before the year
is out.”
“But you must write the year.”
“But how can I, when there isn’t room?”
“Tear that up, and begin a new check.”
“And waste all that money! Oh, I didn’t want an account, anyway! I told
Daddy it would make me more extravagant! And you’re so cross to me. And
here, I’ve spoiled a lot of my money the first thing!”
“Oh, no, Miss Young, you haven’t! There, there, don’t look so
distressed! I’ll make it all right for you.”
“You’ll make it all right! How dare you, sir? Do you dream for a moment
I’d take your money to replace my own losses?”
“Now, wait, you don’t understand. This check is worthless until it’s
signed. Now, we’ll tear it out, so, and begin again. Make smaller
letters and figures, can’t you?”
“Oh, how cute that check comes out! You just tear it by the little
perforated dots, don’t you? Let me tear one out!”
“Write it first; you’ll probably spoil it, and have to tear it out.”
“How unkind you are! And I’m doing my very best. Don’t find fault with
me,—please, don’t!”
“Well, don’t wrinkle up your nose like that,—it looks like a crumpled
rose petal! And don’t write your name there! That’s the place for the
amount!”
“Oh, what a fuss! What does it matter, so long as all the spaces are
filled? My goodness, the check’s all done, isn’t it? And it’s quite
entirely all right, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it’s irreproachable. How will you have the money?”
“If I take the money, do I have to give you this check?”
“Certainly.”
“Then I won’t take any money, thank you. I want to take this check home
and show it to Daddy. He’ll be so pleased and proud! I know he’ll keep
it as a souvenir, and then he’ll give me some of his money for the hat!”