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[Illustration: MRS. PETERKIN PUTS SALT INTO HER COFFEE.]
THE
PETERKIN PAPERS
BY
LUCRETIA P. HALE
With Illustrations
SEVENTH EDITION.
BOSTON AND NEW YORK
HOUGHTON, MIFFLIN AND COMPANY
The Riverside Press, Cambridge.
1893
Copyright, 1880
By JAMES R. OSGOOD & COMPANY
and 1886
By TICKNOR & COMPANY
* * * * *
THE PETERKIN PAPERS
Dedicated
TO MEGGIE
(THE DAUGHTER OF THE LADY FROM PHILADELPHIA)
_TO WHOM THESE STORIES WERE FIRST TOLD_
* * * * *
PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION OF
THE PETERKIN PAPERS.
The first of these stories was accepted by Mr. Howard M. Ticknor for
the "Young Folks." They were afterwards continued in numbers of the
"St. Nicholas."
A second edition is now printed, containing a new paper, which has
never before been published, "The Peterkins at the Farm."
It may be remembered that the Peterkins originally hesitated about
publishing their Family Papers, and were decided by referring the
matter to the lady from Philadelphia. A little uncertain whether she
might happen to be at Philadelphia, they determined to write and ask
her.
Solomon John suggested a postal-card. Everybody reads a postal, and
everybody would read it as it came along, and see its importance, and
help it on. If the lady from Philadelphia were away, her family and
all her servants would read it, and send it after her, for answer.
Elizabeth Eliza thought the postal a bright idea. It would not take so
long to write as a letter, and would not be so expensive. But could
they get the whole subject on a postal?
Mr. Peterkin believed there could be no difficulty, there was but one
question:--
Shall the adventures of the Peterkin family be published?
This was decided upon, and there was room for each of the family to
sign, the little boys contenting themselves with rough sketches of
their india-rubber boots.
Mr. Peterkin, Agamemnon, and Solomon John took the postal-card to the
post-office early one morning, and by the afternoon of that very day,
and all the next day, and for many days, came streaming in answers on
postals and in letters. Their card had been addressed to the lady from
Philadelphia, with the number of her street. But it must have been
read by their neighbors in their own town post-office before leaving;
it must have been read along its way: for by each mail came piles of
postals and letters from town after town, in answer to the question,
and all in the same tone: "Yes, yes; publish the adventures of the
Peterkin family."
"Publish them, of course."
And in time came the answer of the lady from Philadelphia:--
"Yes, of course; publish them."
This is why they were published.
CONTENTS.
THE LADY WHO PUT SALT IN HER COFFEE
ABOUT ELIZABETH ELIZA'S PIANO
THE PETERKINS TRY TO BECOME WISE
MRS. PETERKIN WISHES TO GO TO DRIVE
THE PETERKINS AT HOME
WHY THE PETERKINS HAD A LATE DINNER
THE PETERKINS' SUMMER JOURNEY
THE PETERKINS SNOWED-UP
THE PETERKINS DECIDE TO KEEP A COW
THE PETERKINS' CHRISTMAS-TREE
MRS. PETERKIN'S TEA-PARTY
THE PETERKINS TOO LATE FOR THE EXHIBITION
THE PETERKINS CELEBRATE THE "FOURTH"
THE PETERKINS' PICNIC
THE PETERKINS' CHARADES
THE PETERKINS ARE OBLIGED TO MOVE
THE PETERKINS DECIDE TO LEARN THE LANGUAGES
MODERN IMPROVEMENTS AT THE PETERKINS'
AGAMEMNON'S CAREER
THE EDUCATIONAL BREAKFAST
THE PETERKINS AT THE "CARNIVAL OF AUTHORS" IN BOSTON
THE PETERKINS AT THE FARM
THE PETERKIN PAPERS.
THE LADY WHO PUT SALT IN HER COFFEE.
This was Mrs. Peterkin. It was a mistake. She had poured out a
delicious cup of coffee, and, just as she was helping herself to
cream, she found she had put in salt instead of sugar! It tasted bad.
What should she do? Of course she couldn't drink the coffee; so she
called in the family, for she was sitting at a late breakfast all
alone. The family came in; they all tasted, and looked, and wondered
what should be done, and all sat down to think.
At last Agamemnon, who had been to college, said, "Why don't we go
over and ask the advice of the chemist?" (For the chemist lived over
the way, and was a very wise man.)
Mrs. Peterkin said, "Yes," and Mr. Peterkin said, "Very well," and all
the children said they would go too. So the little boys put on their
india-rubber boots, and over they went.
Now the chemist was just trying to find out something which should
turn everything it touched into gold; and he had a large glass bottle
into which he put all kinds of gold and silver, and many other
valuable things, and melted them all up over the fire, till he had
almost found what he wanted. He could turn things into almost gold.
But just now he had used up all the gold that he had round the house,
and gold was high. He had used up his wife's gold thimble and his
great-grandfather's gold-bowed spectacles; and he had melted up the
gold head of his great-great-grandfather's cane; and, just as the
Peterkin family came in, he was down on his knees before his wife,
asking her to let him have her wedding-ring to melt up with all the
rest, because this time he knew he should succeed, and should be able
to turn everything into gold; and then she could have a new
wedding-ring of diamonds, all set in emeralds and rubies and topazes,
and all the furniture could be turned into the finest of gold.
Now his wife was just consenting when the Peterkin family burst in.
You can imagine how mad the chemist was! He came near throwing his
crucible--that was the name of his melting-pot--at their heads. But he
didn't. He listened as calmly as he could to the story of how Mrs.
Peterkin had put salt in her coffee.
At first he said he couldn't do anything about it; but when Agamemnon
said they would pay in gold if he would only go, he packed up his
bottles in a leather case, and went back with them all.
[Illustration]
First he looked at the coffee, and then stirred it. Then he put in a
little chlorate of potassium, and the family tried it all round; but
it tasted no better. Then he stirred in a little bichlorate of
magnesia. But Mrs. Peterkin didn't like that. Then he added some
tartaric acid and some hypersulphate of lime. But no; it was no
better. "I have it!" exclaimed the chemist,--"a little ammonia is just
the thing!" No, it wasn't the thing at all.
Then he tried, each in turn, some oxalic, cyanic, acetic, phosphoric,
chloric, hyperchloric, sulphuric, boracic, silicic, nitric, formic,
nitrous nitric, and carbonic acids. Mrs. Peterkin tasted each, and
said the flavor was pleasant, but not precisely that of coffee. So
then he tried a little calcium, aluminum, barium, and strontium, a
little clear bitumen, and a half of a third of a sixteenth of a grain
of arsenic. This gave rather a pretty color; but still Mrs. Peterkin
ungratefully said it tasted of anything but coffee. The chemist was
not discouraged. He put in a little belladonna and atropine, some
granulated hydrogen, some potash, and a very little antimony,
finishing off with a little pure carbon. But still Mrs. Peterkin was
not satisfied.
The chemist said that all he had done ought to have taken out the
salt. The theory remained the same, although the experiment had
failed. Perhaps a little starch would have some effect. If not, that
was all the time he could give. He should like to be paid, and go.
They were all much obliged to him, and willing to give him $1.37-1/2
in gold. Gold was now 2.69-3/4, so Mr. Peterkin found in the
newspaper. This gave Agamemnon a pretty little sum. He sat himself
down to do it. But there was the coffee! All sat and thought awhile,
till Elizabeth Eliza said, "Why don't we go to the herb-woman?"
Elizabeth Eliza was the only daughter. She was named after her two
aunts,--Elizabeth, from the sister of her father; Eliza, from her
mother's sister. Now, the herb-woman was an old woman who came round
to sell herbs, and knew a great deal. They all shouted with joy at the
idea of asking her, and Solomon John and the younger children agreed
to go and find her too. The herb-woman lived down at the very end of
the street; so the boys put on their india-rubber boots again, and
they set off. It was a long walk through the village, but they came at
last to the herb-woman's house, at the foot of a high hill. They went
through her little garden. Here she had marigolds and hollyhocks, and
old maids and tall sunflowers, and all kinds of sweet-smelling herbs,
so that the air was full of tansy-tea and elder-blow. Over the porch
grew a hop-vine, and a brandy-cherry tree shaded the door, and a
luxuriant cranberry-vine flung its delicious fruit across the window.
They went into a small parlor, which smelt very spicy. All around hung
little bags full of catnip, and peppermint, and all kinds of herbs;
and dried stalks hung from the ceiling; and on the shelves were jars
of rhubarb, senna, manna, and the like.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
But there was no little old woman. She had gone up into the woods to
get some more wild herbs, so they all thought they would follow
her,--Elizabeth Eliza, Solomon John, and the little boys. They had to
climb up over high rocks, and in among huckleberry-bushes and
blackberry-vines. But the little boys had their india-rubber boots. At
last they discovered the little old woman. They knew her by her hat.
It was steeple-crowned, without any vane. They saw her digging with
her trowel round a sassafras bush. They told her their story,--how
their mother had put salt in her coffee, and how the chemist had made
it worse instead of better, and how their mother couldn't drink it,
and wouldn't she come and see what she could do? And she said she
would, and took up her little old apron, with pockets all round, all
filled with everlasting and pennyroyal, and went back to her house.
[Illustration]
There she stopped, and stuffed her huge pockets with some of all the
kinds of herbs. She took some tansy and peppermint, and caraway-seed
and dill, spearmint and cloves, pennyroyal and sweet marjoram, basil
and rosemary, wild thyme and some of the other time,--such as you have
in clocks,--sappermint and oppermint, catnip, valerian, and hop;
indeed, there isn't a kind of herb you can think of that the little
old woman didn't have done up in her little paper bags, that had all
been dried in her little Dutch-oven. She packed these all up, and
then went back with the children, taking her stick.
Meanwhile Mrs. Peterkin was getting quite impatient for her coffee.
As soon as the little old woman came she had it set over the fire, and
began to stir in the different herbs. First she put in a little hop
for the bitter. Mrs. Peterkin said it tasted like hop-tea, and not at
all like coffee. Then she tried a little flag-root and snakeroot, then
some spruce gum, and some caraway and some dill, some rue and
rosemary, some sweet marjoram and sour, some oppermint and sappermint,
a little spearmint and peppermint, some wild thyme, and some of the
other tame time, some tansy and basil, and catnip and valerian, and
sassafras, ginger, and pennyroyal. The children tasted after each
mixture, but made up dreadful faces. Mrs. Peterkin tasted, and did the
same. The more the old woman stirred, and the more she put in, the
worse it all seemed to taste.
So the old woman shook her head, and muttered a few words, and said
she must go. She believed the coffee was bewitched. She bundled up her
packets of herbs, and took her trowel, and her basket, and her stick,
and went back to her root of sassafras, that she had left half in the
air and half out. And all she would take for pay was five cents in
currency.
[Illustration]
Then the family were in despair, and all sat and thought a great
while. It was growing late in the day, and Mrs. Peterkin hadn't had
her cup of coffee. At last Elizabeth Eliza said, "They say that the
lady from Philadelphia, who is staying in town, is very wise. Suppose
I go and ask her what is best to be done." To this they all agreed, it
was a great thought, and off Elizabeth Eliza went.
[Illustration]
She told the lady from Philadelphia the whole story,--how her mother
had put salt in the coffee; how the chemist had been called in; how he
tried everything but could make it no better; and how they went for
the little old herb-woman, and how she had tried in vain, for her
mother couldn't drink the coffee. The lady from Philadelphia listened
very attentively, and then said, "Why doesn't your mother make a fresh
cup of coffee?" Elizabeth Eliza started with surprise. Solomon John
shouted with joy; so did Agamemnon, who had just finished his sum; so
did the little boys, who had followed on. "Why didn't we think of
that?" said Elizabeth Eliza; and they all went back to their mother,
and she had her cup of coffee.
ABOUT ELIZABETH ELIZA'S PIANO.
Elizabeth Eliza had a present of a piano, and she was to take lessons
of the postmaster's daughter.
They decided to have the piano set across the window in the parlor,
and the carters brought it in, and went away.
After they had gone the family all came in to look at the piano; but
they found the carters had placed it with its back turned towards the
middle of the room, standing close against the window.
How could Elizabeth Eliza open it? How could she reach the keys to
play upon it?
[Illustration]
Solomon John proposed that they should open the window, which
Agamemnon could do with his long arms. Then Elizabeth Eliza should go
round upon the piazza, and open the piano. Then she could have her
music-stool on the piazza, and play upon the piano there.
So they tried this; and they all thought it was a very pretty sight to
see Elizabeth Eliza playing on the piano, while she sat on the piazza,
with the honeysuckle vines behind her.
It was very pleasant, too, moonlight evenings. Mr. Peterkin liked to
take a doze on his sofa in the room; but the rest of the family liked
to sit on the piazza. So did Elizabeth Eliza, only she had to have her
back to the moon.
All this did very well through the summer; but, when the fall came,
Mr. Peterkin thought the air was too cold from the open window, and
the family did not want to sit out on the piazza.
Elizabeth Eliza practised in the mornings with her cloak on; but she
was obliged to give up her music in the evenings the family shivered
so.
[Illustration]
One day, when she was talking with the lady from Philadelphia, she
spoke of this trouble.
The lady from Philadelphia looked surprised, and then said, "But why
don't you turn the piano round?"
One of the little boys pertly said, "It is a square piano."
But Elizabeth Eliza went home directly, and, with the help of
Agamemnon and Solomon John, turned the piano round.
"Why did we not think of that before?" said Mrs. Peterkin. "What shall
we do when the lady from Philadelphia goes home again?"
THE PETERKINS TRY TO BECOME WISE.
They were sitting round the breakfast-table, and wondering what they
should do because the lady from Philadelphia had gone away. "If," said
Mrs. Peterkin, "we could only be more wise as a family!" How could
they manage it? Agamemnon had been to college, and the children all
went to school; but still as a family they were not wise. "It comes
from books," said one of the family. "People who have a great many
books are very wise." Then they counted up that there were very few
books in the house,--a few school-books and Mrs. Peterkin's cook-book
were all.
"That's the thing!" said Agamemnon. "We want a library."
[Illustration]
"We want a library!" said Solomon John. And all of them exclaimed, "We
want a library!"
"Let us think how we shall get one," said Mrs. Peterkin. "I have
observed that other people think a great deal of thinking."
So they all sat and thought a great while.
Then said Agamemnon, "I will make a library. There are some boards in
the wood-shed, and I have a hammer and some nails, and perhaps we can
borrow some hinges, and there we have our library!"
[Illustration]
They were all very much pleased at the idea.
"That's the bookcase part," said Elizabeth Eliza; "but where are the
books?"
So they sat and thought a little while, when Solomon John exclaimed,
"I will make a book!"
They all looked at him in wonder.
"Yes," said Solomon John, "books will make us wise; but first I must
make a book."
So they went into the parlor, and sat down to make a book. But there
was no ink. What should he do for ink? Elizabeth Eliza said she had
heard that nutgalls and vinegar made very good ink. So they decided to
make some. The little boys said they could find some nutgalls up in
the woods. So they all agreed to set out and pick some. Mrs. Peterkin
put on her cape-bonnet, and the little boys got into their
india-rubber boots, and off they went.
The nutgalls were hard to find. There was almost everything else in
the woods,--chestnuts and walnuts, and small hazel-nuts, and a great
many squirrels; and they had to walk a great way before they found any
nutgalls. At last they came home with a large basket and two nutgalls
in it. Then came the question of the vinegar. Mrs. Peterkin had used
her very last on some beets they had the day before. "Suppose we go
and ask the minister's wife," said Elizabeth Eliza. So they all went
to the minister's wife. She said if they wanted some good vinegar they
had better set a barrel of cider down in the cellar, and in a year or
two it would make very nice vinegar. But they said they wanted it that
very afternoon. When the minister's wife heard this she said she
should be very glad to let them have some vinegar, and gave them a
cupful to carry home.
So they stirred in the nutgalls, and by the time evening came they had
very good ink.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: SOLOMON JOHN'S BOOK--Page 26.]
Then Solomon John wanted a pen. Agamemnon had a steel one, but Solomon
John said, "Poets always used quills." Elizabeth Eliza suggested that
they should go out to the poultry-yard and get a quill. But it was
already dark. They had, however, two lanterns, and the little boys
borrowed the neighbors'. They set out in procession for the
poultry-yard. When they got there the fowls were all at roost, so
they could look at them quietly. But there were no geese! There were
Shanghais, and Cochin-Chinas, and Guinea hens, and Barbary hens, and
speckled hens, and Poland roosters, and bantams, and ducks, and
turkeys, but not one goose! "No geese but ourselves," said Mrs.
Peterkin, wittily, as they returned to the house. The sight of this
procession roused up the village. "A torch-light procession!" cried
all the boys of the town; and they gathered round the house, shouting
for the flag; and Mr. Peterkin had to invite them in, and give them
cider and gingerbread, before he could explain to them that it was
only his family visiting his hens.
[Illustration]
After the crowd had dispersed Solomon John sat down to think of his
writing again. Agamemnon agreed to go over to the bookstore to get a
quill. They all went over with him. The book-seller was just shutting
up his shop. However, he agreed to go in and get a quill, which he
did, and they hurried home.
So Solomon John sat down again, but there was no paper. And now the
bookstore was shut up. Mr. Peterkin suggested that the mail was about
in, and perhaps he should have a letter, and then they could use the
envelope to write upon. So they all went to the post-office, and the
little boys had their india-rubber boots on, and they all shouted when
they found Mr. Peterkin had a letter. The postmaster inquired what
they were shouting about; and when they told him he said he would give
Solomon John a whole sheet of paper for his book. And they all went
back rejoicing.
[Illustration]
So Solomon John sat down, and the family all sat round the table
looking at him. He had his pen, his ink, and his paper. He dipped his
pen into the ink and held it over the paper, and thought a minute, and
then said, "But I haven't got anything to say."
MRS. PETERKIN WISHES TO GO TO DRIVE.
One morning Mrs. Peterkin was feeling very tired, as she had been
having a great many things to think of, and she said to Mr. Peterkin,
"I believe I shall take a ride this morning!"
And the little boys cried out, "Oh, may we go too?"
Mrs. Peterkin said that Elizabeth Eliza and the little boys might go.
So Mr. Peterkin had the horse put into the carryall, and he and
Agamemnon went off to their business, and Solomon John to school; and
Mrs. Peterkin began to get ready for her ride.
She had some currants she wanted to carry to old Mrs. Twomly, and some
gooseberries for somebody else, and Elizabeth Eliza wanted to pick
some flowers to take to the minister's wife; so it took them a long
time to prepare.
The little boys went out to pick the currants and the gooseberries,
and Elizabeth Eliza went out for her flowers, and Mrs. Peterkin put
on her cape-bonnet, and in time they were all ready. The little boys
were in their india-rubber boots, and they got into the carriage.
Elizabeth Eliza was to drive; so she sat on the front seat, and took
up the reins, and the horse started off merrily, and then suddenly
stopped, and would not go any farther.
[Illustration]
Elizabeth Eliza shook the reins, and pulled them, and then she clucked
to the horse; and Mrs. Peterkin clucked; and the little boys whistled
and shouted; but still the horse would not go.
"We shall have to whip him," said Elizabeth Eliza.
Now Mrs. Peterkin never liked to use the whip; but, as the horse would
not go, she said she would get out and turn his head the other way,
while Elizabeth Eliza whipped the horse, and when he began to go she
would hurry and get in.
So they tried this, but the horse would not stir.
"Perhaps we have too heavy a load," said Mrs. Peterkin, as she got in.
So they took out the currants and the gooseberries and the flowers,
but still the horse would not go.
One of the neighbors, from the opposite house, looking out just then,
called out to them to try the whip. There was a high wind, and they
could not hear exactly what she said.
"I have tried the whip," said Elizabeth Eliza.
"She says 'whips,' such as you eat," said one of the little boys.
"We might make those," said Mrs. Peterkin, thoughtfully.
"We have got plenty of cream," said Elizabeth Eliza.
"Yes, let us have some whips," cried the little boys, getting out.
And the opposite neighbor cried out something about whips; and the
wind was very high.
So they went into the kitchen, and whipped up the cream, and made some
very delicious whips; and the little boys tasted all round, and they
all thought they were very nice.
They carried some out to the horse, who swallowed it down very
quickly.
"That is just what he wanted," said Mrs. Peterkin; "now he will
certainly go!"
[Illustration]
So they all got into the carriage again, and put in the currants, and
the gooseberries, and the flowers; and Elizabeth Eliza shook the
reins, and they all clucked; but still the horse would not go!
"We must either give up our ride," said Mrs. Peterkin, mournfully,
"or else send over to the lady from Philadelphia, and see what she
will say."
The little boys jumped out as quickly as they could; they were eager
to go and ask the lady from Philadelphia. Elizabeth Eliza went with
them, while her mother took the reins.
[Illustration]
They found that the lady from Philadelphia was very ill that day, and
was in her bed. But when she was told what the trouble was she very
kindly said they might draw up the curtain from the window at the foot
of the bed, and open the blinds, and she would see. Then she asked for
her opera-glass, and looked through it, across the way, up the street,
to Mrs. Peterkin's door.
After she had looked through the glass she laid it down, leaned her
head back against the pillow, for she was very tired, and then said,
"Why don't you unchain the horse from the horse-post?"
Elizabeth Eliza and the little boys looked at one another, and then
hurried back to the house and told their mother. The horse was untied,
and they all went to ride.
THE PETERKINS AT HOME.
AT DINNER.
Another little incident occurred in the Peterkin family. This was at
dinner-time.
[Illustration]
They sat down to a dish of boiled ham. Now it was a peculiarity of the
children of the family that half of them liked fat, and half liked
lean. Mr. Peterkin sat down to cut the ham. But the ham turned out to
be a very remarkable one. The fat and the lean came in separate
slices,--first one of lean, then one of fat, then two slices of lean,
and so on. Mr. Peterkin began as usual by helping the children first,
according to their age. Now Agamemnon, who liked lean, got a fat
slice; and Elizabeth Eliza, who preferred fat, had a lean slice.
Solomon John, who could eat nothing but lean, was helped to fat, and
so on. Nobody had what he could eat.
It was a rule of the Peterkin family that no one should eat any of the
vegetables without some of the meat; so now, although the children saw
upon their plates apple-sauce, and squash and tomato, and sweet potato
and sour potato, not one of them could eat a mouthful, because not one
was satisfied with the meat. Mr. and Mrs. Peterkin, however, liked
both fat and lean, and were making a very good meal, when they looked
up and saw the children all sitting eating nothing, and looking
dissatisfied into their plates.
"What is the matter now?" said Mr. Peterkin.
But the children were taught not to speak at table. Agamemnon,
however, made a sign of disgust at his fat, and Elizabeth Eliza at her
lean, and so on; and they presently discovered what was the
difficulty.
"What shall be done now?" said Mrs. Peterkin.
They all sat and thought for a little while.
At last said Mrs. Peterkin, rather uncertainly, "Suppose we ask the
lady from Philadelphia what is best to be done."
But Mr. Peterkin said he didn't like to go to her for everything; let
the children try and eat their dinner as it was.
And they all tried, but they couldn't. "Very well, then," said Mr.
Peterkin, "let them go and ask the lady from Philadelphia."
"All of us?" cried one of the little boys, in the excitement of the
moment.
"Yes," said, Mrs. Peterkin, "only put on your india-rubber boots." And
they hurried out of the house.
[Illustration]
The lady from Philadelphia was just going in to her dinner; but she
kindly stopped in the entry to hear what the trouble was. Agamemnon
and Elizabeth Eliza told her all the difficulty, and the lady from
Philadelphia said, "But why don't you give the slices of fat to those
who like the fat, and the slices of lean to those who like the lean?"
They looked at one another. Agamemnon looked at Elizabeth Eliza, and
Solomon John looked at the little boys. "Why didn't we think of that?"
said they, and ran home to tell their mother.
WHY THE PETERKINS HAD A LATE DINNER.
The trouble was in the dumb-waiter. All had seated themselves at the
dinner-table, and Amanda had gone to take out the dinner she had sent
up from the kitchen on the dumb-waiter. But something was the matter;
she could not pull it up. There was the dinner, but she could not
reach it. All the family, in turn, went and tried; all pulled together
in vain; the dinner could not be stirred.
"No dinner!" exclaimed Agamemnon.
"I am quite hungry," said Solomon John.
At last Mr. Peterkin said, "I am not proud. I am willing to dine in
the kitchen."
This room was below the dining-room. All consented to this. Each one
went down, taking a napkin.
The cook laid the kitchen table, put on it her best table-cloth, and
the family sat down. Amanda went to the dumb-waiter for the dinner,
but she could not move it down.
The family were all in dismay. There was the dinner, half-way between
the kitchen and dining-room, and there were they all hungry to eat it!
"What is there for dinner?" asked Mr. Peterkin.
[Illustration]
"Roast turkey," said Mrs. Peterkin.
Mr. Peterkin lifted his eyes to the ceiling.
"Squash, tomato, potato, and sweet potato," Mrs. Peterkin continued.
"Sweet potato!" exclaimed both the little boys.
"I am very glad now that I did not have cranberry," said Mrs.
Peterkin, anxious to find a bright point.
"Let us sit down and think about it," said Mr. Peterkin.
"I have an idea," said Agamemnon, after a while.
"Let us hear it," said Mr. Peterkin. "Let each one speak his mind."
"The turkey," said Agamemnon, "must be just above the kitchen door. If
I had a ladder and an axe, I could cut away the plastering and reach
it."
"That is a great idea," said Mrs. Peterkin.
"If you think you could do it," said Mr. Peterkin.
"Would it not be better to have a carpenter?" asked Elizabeth Eliza.
"A carpenter might have a ladder and an axe, and I think we have
neither," said Mrs. Peterkin.
"A carpenter! A carpenter!" exclaimed the rest.
It was decided that Mr. Peterkin, Solomon John, and the little boys
should go in search of a carpenter.
Agamemnon proposed that, meanwhile, he should go and borrow a book,
for he had another idea.
"This affair of the turkey," he said, "reminds me of those buried
cities that have been dug out,--Herculaneum, for instance."
"Oh, yes," interrupted Elizabeth Eliza, "and Pompeii."
[Illustration]
"Yes," said Agamemnon. "They found there pots and kettles. Now, I
should like to know how they did it; and I mean to borrow a book and
read. I think it was done with a pickaxe."
So the party set out. But when Mr. Peterkin reached the carpenter's
shop there was no carpenter to be found there.
"He must be at his house, eating his dinner," suggested Solomon John.
"Happy man," exclaimed Mr. Peterkin, "he has a dinner to eat!"
They went to the carpenter's house, but found he had gone out of town
for a day's job. But his wife told them that he always came back at
night to ring the nine-o'clock bell.
"We must wait till then," said Mr. Peterkin, with an effort at
cheerfulness.
At home he found Agamemnon reading his book, and all sat down to hear
of Herculaneum and Pompeii.
Time passed on, and the question arose about tea. Would it do to have
tea when they had had no dinner? A part of the family thought it would
not do; the rest wanted tea.
"I suppose you remember the wise lady of Philadelphia, who was here
not long ago?" said Mr. Peterkin.
"Oh, yes," said Mrs. Peterkin.
"Let us try to think what she would advise us," said Mr. Peterkin.
"I wish she were here," said Elizabeth Eliza.
"I think," said Mr. Peterkin, "she would say, let them that want tea
have it; the rest can go without."
So they had tea, and, as it proved, all sat down to it. But not much
was eaten, as there had been no dinner.
When the nine-o'clock bell was heard, Agamemnon, Solomon John, and the
little boys rushed to the church and found the carpenter.
They asked him to bring a ladder, axe, and pickaxe. As he felt it
might be a case of fire he brought also his fire-buckets.
When the matter was explained to him he went into the dining-room,
looked into the dumb-waiter, untwisted a cord, and arranged the
weight, and pulled up the dinner.
There was a family shout.
"The trouble was in the weight," said the carpenter.
"That is why it is called a dumb-waiter," Solomon John explained to
the little boys.
The dinner was put upon the table.
Mrs. Peterkin frugally suggested that they might now keep it for next
day, as to-day was almost gone, and they had had tea.
But nobody listened. All sat down to the roast turkey, and Amanda
warmed over the vegetables.
"Patient waiters are no losers," said Agamemnon.
THE PETERKINS' SUMMER JOURNEY.
In fact, it was their last summer's journey,--for it had been planned
then; but there had been so many difficulties it had been delayed.
The first trouble had been about trunks. The family did not own a
trunk suitable for travelling.
Agamemnon had his valise, that he had used when he stayed a week at a
time at the academy; and a trunk had been bought for Elizabeth Eliza
when she went to the seminary. Solomon John and Mr. Peterkin, each had
his patent-leather hand-bag. But all these were too small for the
family. And the little boys wanted to carry their kite.
Mrs. Peterkin suggested her grandmother's trunk. This was a
hair-trunk, very large and capacious. It would hold everything they
would want to carry except what would go in Elizabeth Eliza's trunk,
or the valise and bags.
Everybody was delighted at this idea. It was agreed that the next day
the things should be brought into Mrs. Peterkin's room for her to see
if they could all be packed.
"If we can get along," said Elizabeth Eliza, "without having to ask
advice I shall be glad!"
"Yes," said Mr. Peterkin, "it is time now for people to be coming to
ask advice of us."
[Illustration]
The next morning Mrs. Peterkin began by taking out the things that
were already in the trunk. Here were last year's winter things, and
not only these, but old clothes that had been put away,--Mrs.
Peterkin's wedding-dress; the skirts the little boys used to wear
before they put on jackets and trousers.
All day Mrs. Peterkin worked over the trunk, putting away the old
things, putting in the new. She packed up all the clothes she could
think of, both summer and winter ones, because you never can tell what
sort of weather you will have.
Agamemnon fetched his books, and Solomon John his spy-glass. There
were her own and Elizabeth Eliza's best bonnets in a bandbox; also
Solomon John's hats, for he had an old one and a new one. He bought a
new hat for fishing, with a very wide brim and deep crown; all of
heavy straw.
Agamemnon brought down a large heavy dictionary, and an atlas still
larger. This contained maps of all the countries in the world.
"I have never had a chance to look at them," he said; "but when one
travels, then is the time to study geography."
Mr. Peterkin wanted to take his turning-lathe. So Mrs. Peterkin packed
his tool-chest. It gave her some trouble, for it came to her just as
she had packed her summer dresses. At first she thought it would help
to smooth the dresses, and placed it on top; but she was forced to
take all out, and set it at the bottom. This was not so much matter,
as she had not yet the right dresses to put in. Both Mrs. Peterkin and
Elizabeth Eliza would need new dresses for this occasion. The little
boys' hoops went in; so did their india-rubber boots, in case it
should not rain when they started. They each had a hoe and shovel, and
some baskets, that were packed.
[Illustration]
Mrs. Peterkin called in all the family on the evening of the second
day to see how she had succeeded. Everything was packed, even the
little boys' kite lay smoothly on the top.
"I like to see a thing so nicely done," said Mr. Peterkin.
The next thing was to cord up the trunk, and Mr. Peterkin tried to
move it. But neither he, nor Agamemnon, nor Solomon John could lift
it alone, or all together.
Here was a serious difficulty. Solomon John tried to make light of it.
"Expressmen could lift it. Expressmen were used to such things."
"But we did not plan expressing it," said Mrs. Peterkin, in a
discouraged tone.
"We can take a carriage," said Solomon John.
"I am afraid the trunk would not go on the back of a carriage," said
Mrs. Peterkin.
[Illustration]
"The hackman could not lift it, either," said Mr. Peterkin.
"People do travel with a great deal of baggage," said Elizabeth Eliza.
"And with very large trunks," said Agamemnon.
"Still they are trunks that can be moved," said Mr. Peterkin, giving
another try at the trunk in vain. "I am afraid we must give it up," he
said; "it would be such a trouble in going from place to place."
"We would not mind if we got it to the place," said Elizabeth Eliza.
"But how to get it there?" Mr. Peterkin asked, with a sigh.
"This is our first obstacle," said Agamemnon; "we must do our best to
conquer it."
"What is an obstacle?" asked the little boys.
"It is the trunk," said Solomon John.
"Suppose we look out the word in the dictionary," said Agamemnon,
taking the large volume from the trunk. "Ah, here it is"--And he
read:--
"OBSTACLE, _an impediment_."
"That is a worse word than the other," said one of the little boys.
"But listen to this," and Agamemnon continued: "_Impediment_ is
something that entangles the feet; _obstacle_ something that stands in
the way; obstruction, something that blocks up the passage;
_hinderance_, something that holds back."
"The trunk is all these," said Mr. Peterkin, gloomily.
"It does not entangle the feet," said Solomon John, "for it can't
move."
"I wish it could," said the little boys together.
Mrs. Peterkin spent a day or two in taking the things out of the trunk
and putting them away.
"At least," she said, "this has given me some experience in packing."
And the little boys felt as if they had quite been a journey.
But the family did not like to give up their plan. It was suggested
that they might take the things out of the trunk, and pack it at the
station; the little boys could go and come with the things. But
Elizabeth Eliza thought the place too public.
Gradually the old contents of the great trunk went back again to it.
At length a friend unexpectedly offered to lend Mr. Peterkin a
good-sized family trunk. But it was late in the season, and so the
journey was put off from that summer.
But now the trunk was sent round to the house, and a family
consultation was held about packing it. Many things would have to be
left at home, it was so much smaller than the grandmother's
hair-trunk. But Agamemnon had been studying the atlas through the
winter, and felt familiar with the more important places, so it would
not be necessary to take it. And Mr. Peterkin decided to leave his
turning-lathe at home, and his tool-chest.
Again Mrs. Peterkin spent two days in accommodating the things. With
great care and discretion, and by borrowing two more leather bags, it
could be accomplished. Everything of importance could be packed except
the little boys' kite. What should they do about that?
The little boys proposed carrying it in their hands; but Solomon John
and Elizabeth Eliza would not consent to this.
"I do think it is one of the cases where we might ask the advice of
the lady from Philadelphia," said Mrs. Peterkin, at last.
"She has come on here," said Agamemnon, "and we have not been to see
her this summer."
"She may think we have been neglecting her," suggested Mr. Peterkin.
The little boys begged to be allowed to go and ask her opinion about
the kite. They came back in high spirits.
"She says we might leave this one at home, and make a new kite when we
get there," they cried.
"What a sensible idea!" exclaimed Mr. Peterkin; "and I may have
leisure to help you."
"We'll take plenty of newspapers," said Solomon John.
"And twine," said the little boys. And this matter was settled.
The question then was, "When should they go?"
[Illustration]
THE PETERKINS SNOWED-UP.
Mrs. Peterkin awoke one morning to find a heavy snow-storm raging. The
wind had flung the snow against the windows, had heaped it up around
the house, and thrown it into huge white drifts over the fields,
covering hedges and fences.
[Illustration]
Mrs. Peterkin went from one window to the other to look out; but
nothing could be seen but the driving storm and the deep white snow.
Even Mr. Bromwick's house, on the opposite side of the street, was
hidden by the swift-falling flakes.
"What shall I do about it?" thought Mrs. Peterkin. "No roads cleared
out! Of course there'll be no butcher and no milkman!"
The first thing to be done was to wake up all the family early; for
there was enough in the house for breakfast, and there was no knowing
when they would have anything more to eat.
It was best to secure the breakfast first.
[Illustration]
So she went from one room to the other, as soon as it was light,
waking the family, and before long all were dressed and downstairs.
And then all went round the house to see what had happened.
All the water-pipes that there were were frozen. The milk was frozen.
They could open the door into the wood-house; but the wood-house door
into the yard was banked up with snow; and the front door, and the
piazza door, and the side door stuck. Nobody could get in or out!
[Illustration]
Meanwhile, Amanda, the cook, had succeeded in making the kitchen fire,
but had discovered there was no furnace coal.
"The furnace coal was to have come to-day," said Mrs. Peterkin,
apologetically.
"Nothing will come to-day," said Mr. Peterkin, shivering.
But a fire could be made in a stove in the dining-room.
All were glad to sit down to breakfast and hot coffee. The little boys
were much pleased to have "ice-cream" for breakfast.
[Illustration]
"When we get a little warm," said Mr. Peterkin, "we will consider what
is to be done."
"I am thankful I ordered the sausages yesterday," said Mrs. Peterkin.
"I was to have had a leg of mutton to-day."
"Nothing will come to-day," said Agamemnon, gloomily.
"Are these sausages the last meat in the house?" asked Mr. Peterkin.
"Yes," said Mrs. Peterkin.
The potatoes also were gone, the barrel of apples empty, and she had
meant to order more flour that very day.
"Then we are eating our last provisions," said Solomon John, helping
himself to another sausage.
"I almost wish we had stayed in bed," said Agamemnon.
"I thought it best to make sure of our breakfast first," repeated Mrs.
Peterkin.
"Shall we literally have nothing left to eat?" asked Mr. Peterkin.
"There's the pig!" suggested Solomon John.
Yes, happily, the pigsty was at the end of the wood-house, and could
be reached under cover.
But some of the family could not eat fresh pork.
"We should have to 'corn' part of him," said Agamemnon.
"My butcher has always told me," said Mrs. Peterkin, "that if I wanted
a ham I must keep a pig. Now we have the pig, but have not the ham!"
"Perhaps we could 'corn' one or two of his legs," suggested one of the
little boys.
"We need not settle that now," said Mr. Peterkin. "At least the pig
will keep us from starving."
[Illustration]
The little boys looked serious; they were fond of their pig.
"If we had only decided to keep a cow," said Mrs. Peterkin.
"Alas! yes," said Mr. Peterkin, "one learns a great many things too
late!"
"Then we might have had ice-cream all the time!" exclaimed the little
boys.
Indeed, the little boys, in spite of the prospect of starving, were
quite pleasantly excited at the idea of being snowed-up, and hurried
through their breakfasts that they might go and try to shovel out a
path from one of the doors.
"I ought to know more about the water-pipes," said Mr. Peterkin. "Now,
I shut off the water last night in the bath-room, or else I forgot to;
and I ought to have shut it off in the cellar."
The little boys came back. Such a wind at the front door, they were
going to try the side door.
"Another thing I have learned to-day," said Mr. Peterkin, "is not to
have all the doors on one side of the house, because the storm blows
the snow against _all_ the doors."
Solomon John started up.
"Let us see if we are blocked up on the east side of the house!" he
exclaimed.
"Of what use," asked Mr. Peterkin, "since we have no door on the east
side?"
"We could cut one," said Solomon John.
"Yes, we could cut a door," exclaimed Agamemnon.
"But how can we tell whether there is any snow there?" asked Elizabeth
Eliza,--"for there is no window."
In fact, the east side of the Peterkins' house formed a blank wall.
The owner had originally planned a little block of semi-detached
houses. He had completed only one, very semi and very detached.
"It is not necessary to see," said Agamemnon, profoundly; "of course,
if the storm blows against this side of the house, the house itself
must keep the snow from the other side."
[Illustration]
"Yes," said Solomon John, "there must be a space clear of snow on the
east side of the house, and if we could open a way to that"--
"We could open a way to the butcher," said Mr. Peterkin, promptly.
Agamemnon went for his pickaxe. He had kept one in the house ever
since the adventure of the dumb-waiter.
"What part of the wall had we better attack?" asked Mr. Peterkin.
Mrs. Peterkin was alarmed.
"What will Mr. Mudge, the owner of the house, think of it?" she
exclaimed. "Have we a right to injure the wall of the house?"
"It is right to preserve ourselves from starving," said Mr. Peterkin.
"The drowning man must snatch at a straw!"
"It is better that he should find his house chopped a little when the
thaw comes," said Elizabeth Eliza, "than that he should find us lying
about the house, dead of hunger, upon the floor."
Mrs. Peterkin was partially convinced.
The little boys came in to warm their hands. They had not succeeded in
opening the side door, and were planning trying to open the door from
the wood-house to the garden.
[Illustration]
"That would be of no use," said Mrs. Peterkin, "the butcher cannot get
into the garden."
"But we might shovel off the snow," suggested one of the little boys,
"and dig down to some of last year's onions."
[Illustration]
Meanwhile, Mr. Peterkin, Agamemnon, and Solomon John had been
bringing together their carpenter's tools, and Elizabeth Eliza
proposed using a gouge, if they would choose the right spot to begin.
[Illustration]
The little boys were delighted with the plan, and hastened to
find,--one, a little hatchet, and the other a gimlet. Even Amanda
armed herself with a poker.
"It would be better to begin on the ground floor," said Mr. Peterkin.
"Except that we may meet with a stone foundation," said Solomon John.
[Illustration]
"If the wall is thinner upstairs," said Agamemnon, "it will do as well
to cut a window as a door, and haul up anything the butcher may bring
below in his cart."
Everybody began to pound a little on the wall to find a favorable
place, and there was a great deal of noise. The little boys actually
cut a bit out of the plastering with their hatchet and gimlet. Solomon
John confided to Elizabeth Eliza that it reminded him of stories of
prisoners who cut themselves free, through stone walls, after days and
days of secret labor.
[Illustration]
Mrs. Peterkin, even, had come with a pair of tongs in her hand. She
was interrupted by a voice behind her.
"Here's your leg of mutton, marm!"
It was the butcher. How had he got in?
"Excuse me, marm, for coming in at the side door, but the back gate is
kinder blocked up. You were making such a pounding I could not make
anybody hear me knock at the side door."
"But how did you make a path to the door?" asked Mr. Peterkin. "You
must have been working at it a long time. It must be near noon now."
[Illustration]
"I'm about on regular time," answered the butcher. "The town team has
cleared out the high road, and the wind has been down the last
half-hour. The storm is over."
True enough! The Peterkins had been so busy inside the house they had
not noticed the ceasing of the storm outside.
"And we were all up an hour earlier than usual," said Mr. Peterkin,
when the butcher left. He had not explained to the butcher why he had
a pickaxe in his hand.
"If we had lain abed till the usual time," said Solomon John, "we
should have been all right."
"For here is the milkman!" said Elizabeth Eliza, as a knock was now
heard at the side door.
"It is a good thing to learn," said Mr. Peterkin, "not to get up any
earlier than is necessary."
THE PETERKINS DECIDE TO KEEP A COW.
Not that they were fond of drinking milk, nor that they drank very
much. But for that reason Mr. Peterkin thought it would be well to
have a cow, to encourage the family to drink more, as he felt it would
be so healthy.
Mrs. Peterkin recalled the troubles of the last cold winter, and how
near they came to starving, when they were shut up in a severe
snow-storm, and the water-pipes burst, and the milk was frozen. If the
cow-shed could open out of the wood-shed such trouble might be
prevented.
Tony Larkin was to come over and milk the cow every morning, and
Agamemnon and Solomon John agreed to learn how to milk, in case Tony
should be "snowed up," or have the whooping-cough in the course of the
winter. The little boys thought they knew how already.
But if they were to have three or four pailfuls of milk every day it
was important to know where to keep it.
"One way will be," said Mrs. Peterkin, "to use a great deal every day.
We will make butter."
"That will be admirable," thought Mr. Peterkin.
"And custards," suggested Solomon John.
"And syllabub," said Elizabeth Eliza.
"And cocoa-nut cakes," exclaimed the little boys.
"We don't need the milk for cocoa-nut cakes," said Mrs. Peterkin.
[Illustration]
The little boys thought they might have a cocoa-nut tree instead of a
cow. You could have the milk from the cocoa-nuts, and it would be
pleasant climbing the tree, and you would not have to feed it.
"Yes," said Mr. Peterkin, "we shall have to feed the cow."
"Where shall we pasture her?" asked Agamemnon.
"Up on the hills, up on the hills," exclaimed the little boys, "where
there are a great many bars to take down, and huckleberry-bushes!"
Mr. Peterkin had been thinking of their own little lot behind the
house.