There is not a more interesting science than geology, which, as our
readers are aware, treats principally of mud and minerals. The association
at Hookham-cum-Snivey has been very active during the summer, and may be
said to have been up to its knees in dirt and filth, gravel and gypsum,
coal, clay and conglomerate, for a very considerable period.
It having been determined to open a sewer where the old Hookham-road meets
with the ancient Roman footpath at Snivey, the junction of which gives
name to the modern town, the Geological Association passed a strong
resolution, in which it was asserted, that the opportunity had at length
arrived for solving the great doubt that had long perplexed the minds of
the inhabitants as to whether the soil in the neighbourhood was
crustaceous or carboniferous. The _crusta_ceous party had been long
triumphing in the fact, that a mouldy piece of bread had been found at two
feet below the surface, when digging for the foundation of a swing erected
in a garden in the neighbourhood; but the _carboni_ferous enthusiasts had
been thrown into ecstacies, by the sexton having come upon a regular
_strata_ of undoubted cinders, in clearing out a piece of ground at the
back of the parson's residence. Some evil-disposed persons had the malice
to say that the spot had been formerly the site of a subsequently-filled-up
dusthole; but the _crusta_ceous party, depending as they did upon a single
piece of bread--_all crumb_ too--however genuine, could not be said to
have so much to go upon as the _carboni_ferous section, with their heap of
cinders, the latter being large in quantity, though of doubtful authority.
However, the opening of the sewer was looked forward to with intense
interest, as being calculated to decide the great question, and all the
principal geologists were on the spot several hours before operations
commenced, for the purpose of inspecting the surface of the ground before
it was disturbed by the spade and pickaxe of the labourer.
It was found that the earth consisted of an outer coat of dust, amongst
which were several stones, varying in size, with here and there a bone
picked exceedingly clean, and evidently belonging to a sheep; all of which
facts gave promise of most gratifying results to the true lover of
geology. At length the labourer came in sight, and was greeted with loud
cheers from the crustaceous party, which were ironically echoed by the
disciples of the carboniferous school, and a most significant "hear,
hear," proceeded from an active partisan of the latter class, when the
first stroke of the pickaxe proclaimed the commencement of an operation
upon which so much was known to depend for the interests of geology. The
work had proceeded for some time amid breathless interest, interrupted
only by sneers, cheers, jeers, and cries of "Oh, oh!" or "No, no!" As the
throwing up of a shovelful of earth excited the hopes of one party, or the
fears of the other, when a hard substance was struck upon, which caused a
thrilling sensation among the bystanders. The pressure of the geologists,
all eager to inspect the object that had created so much curiosity, could
hardly be restrained, and the president was thrown, with great violence,
into the hole that had been dug, from which he was pulled with
extraordinary strength of body, and presence of mind, by the honorary
treasurer.
The hard substance was found to consist of a piece of iron, of which it
appeared a vein, or rather an artery, ran both backwards and forwards from
the spot where it was first discovered. The confusion was at its height,
for it was supposed a mine had been discovered, and a long altercation
ensued; the town-clerk claiming it in the name of the lord of the manor,
while the beadle, with a confused idea about mines being royal property,
leaped into the hole, and, in the Queen's name, took possession of
everything. A desperate struggle ensued, in which several geologists were
laid straight upon the _strata_, and were converted into secondary
deposits on the surface of the earth; when the lamplighter, coming by,
recognised the hard iron substance as the large main of the Equitable
Company. It became therefore necessary to relinquish any further
investigation on the spot originally chosen, and the matter was postponed
to another day, so that the great crustaceous and carboniferous question
remains exactly where it did, to the great injury of the harmony and good
feeling that has never yet prevailed, though it is hoped it some time or
other may prevail, among the inhabitants.
But though public investigation of geological truth is for a time at a
stand-still, we are glad to be able to record the following remarkable
instance of private enterprise:--
A very active member of the association--the indefatigable Mr.
Grubemup--determined to leave no stone unturned for the purpose of making
observations, went out, attended by a single assistant, and made a
desperate attempt to turn the mile-stone in the Kensington-road, in the
hope of finding some geological facts at the bottom of it. After several
hours' labour before day-break, to avoid interruption from the police, he
succeeded in introducing the point of a pickaxe beneath the base of the
stone; and eventually he had the satisfaction of removing it from its
position, when he made the following geological observations:--He found a
primary deposit of dark soil, and, on putting his spectacles to his eyes,
he distinctly detected a common worm in a state of high salubrity. This
clearly proved to him that there must formerly have been a direct
communication between Hookham-cum-Snivey and the town of Kensington, for
the worm found beneath the milestone exactly resembled one now in the
Hookham-cum-Snivey Museum, and which is known as the _vermis communis_, or
earth-worm, and which has always excited considerable interest among the
various visitors. Mr. Grubemup, encouraged by this highly satisfactory
result, proceeded to scratch up with his thumb-nail a portion of the soil,
and his geological enterprise was speedily rewarded by a fossil of the
most interesting character. Upon close inspection it proved to be a highly
crystallised rat's-tail, from which the geologist inferred that there were
rats on the Kensington-road at a much earlier period than milestones. We
have not heard that the ingenious gentleman carried his examination
further, but in the present state of geology, any contribution to the
science, however small, will be thankfully received by the
knowledge-loving community.
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