Various Experiences--Continued
Sometime after I got light on the one body, I was helping Brothers
Kilpatrick and Speck in a camp-meeting near Essex, Ill. For three days I
was under a severe trial or burden, which became heavier and heavier until
it was unbearable. The worst of my difficulty was that I did not know what
was the matter.
Finally I went to my room, locked the door, threw myself on the bed and
cried, "Lord, you must show me what is the matter; I can't stand this any
longer." Then the Lord began to talk to me in a loving, fatherly,
encouraging way: "This is a battle between God and the devil. Are you
willing to fight in it?" "Yes, Lord," I said, "with all my heart"; and
almost before I could think, the cloud was all gone, the burden had
disappeared, and I was as happy and triumphant as I had ever been. I don't
think I had another test during that meeting.
Through this peculiar experience I learned the difference between
soul-burden and condemnation and between accusation and conviction, as I
had never been able to comprehend it before, although I thought I had
understood this difference measurably well. Many dear souls have been
troubled on these subjects, mistaking soul-burden for condemnation and
accusation for conviction. A clear understanding of the difference between
these soul experiences will save us from many unnecessary trials. I have
been thankful ever since for God's teaching.
While in evangelistic work I had the privilege of attending meetings of
various kinds in many different States. Shortly before the Gospel Trumpet
office was moved to Moundsville, our company attended a camp-meeting at
that place. Brother Clayton's earnest labors were beginning to show some
results, but the work was still quite new. We arrived there the afternoon
before the general meeting began. But little preparation had been made to
accommodate the workers who would be present. My brother George had found a
place to stay, but nothing had been said to me about lodging. Just before
the beginning of the services, a woman came to me and asked if I would go
home with her. I did not feel favorably impressed, and thought I would wait
and see if I should get another invitation. The night services closed, and
no one had yet offered me lodging, so I accepted the woman's invitation. I
had been kept awake two nights on my trip to the meeting, and now I had to
walk a mile before retiring. As we drew near the house, I felt the awful
powers of the enemy coming against my soul. I wondered what kind of place I
was going to, but it was too late to turn back. Although it was ten o'clock
at night, we met the woman's little grandchild out playing, and the child
was by no means in an inviting condition.
When we reached the house I understood at once why I had not felt impressed
to accept the woman's invitation. Everything was in disorder, and the house
was almost as filthy as a swine-pen. The floor was covered with sand on
which tobacco-juice was freely sprinkled, and over this filth the beds had
been laid down. The woman had already told me that she had a nice clean bed
for me in an upstairs room, and in this I hoped to find the rest I so much
needed. After eating, with considerable difficulty, a little lunch set
before me, I was shown to my room, which had a more cleanly appearance than
the room down-stairs. I wanted very much to lock my door; but as I could
not, committed myself to God's care, and went to bed.
Vermin of different kinds prevented sleep; and not long after going to bed
I heard a noise downstairs that indicated the arrival of company of no
desirable sort. My heart began to sink within me. "O Lord!" said I, "why
have you let me come to a place like this?" and the tears began to course
down my cheeks. The answer came, "That you may have an opportunity to be
partaker of my suffering." I thought to myself, "I am a poor specimen to
fulfil that scripture tonight." I do not believe I slept ten minutes the
whole night through. I heard the town-clock every time it struck; but
during that night of anxiety and prayer I learned the lesson that I must be
ready at all times and under all circumstance, to partake of Christ's
suffering, and that in order to partake of his sufferings, I must be very
little and very humble. Next morning, with veiled face, I made my way to
the camp-ground in as round-a-bout way as I could, so that no one would
know where I lodged the night before, and thus reproach be brought upon the
cause of Christ.
Our next camp-meeting was at Mole Hill, W. Virginia. This was a new place,
and not many attended the services; but the Lord blessed in the
presentation of the Word, and we had a good meeting. It closed on Sunday.
Just before the services on Saturday night, an armed mob came into the
camp. Never in all my life had I heard so many awful oaths in so short a
time. A number of unsaved young men who lived in that neighborhood and who
were favorable to the truth, undertook to defend us and to keep the
meeting from being broken up. The mob said that they had come on purpose
to tear the tent down, but those who were defending us said that they
should not, and that if they undertook to carry out their threat they
would be "laid low," meaning that they would kill them. A number of shots
were exchanged between the two parties, some of which came very close to
me. You may think it very foolish, but I found myself dodging behind the
canvas for protection. Afterwards I was amused at myself, but at such a
time the weakness of humanity is on exhibition.
After the two parties had continued for nearly an hour, I think, I felt
strongly impressed that a number of us should kneel down and call earnestly
on God for protection. While we were on our knees, God made me to know that
none of us should be hurt and that the tabernacle should not suffer damage.
I arose from my knees with victory. Not long afterward the young men who
were protecting us, got our assailants on the run. They left in such a
hurry that one of their number left his hat behind. He made several
attempts to come back after it, but our boys always headed him off. The
strife lasted all night, and no one in the camp got any rest. At midnight a
sister who for a long time had been seeking sanctification, but had not
been able to get the experience, came to the Lord, made the consecration,
was made happy, and began singing:
"Hallelujah for the cleansing!
It has reached my inmost soul,
For the glory now is streaming;
Praise the Lord, He makes me whole!"
The next day was a very busy day. God worked mightily. Souls were saved and
sanctified, and bodies were healed. It was a day of victory from beginning
to end. I had asked the Lord not to let "a dog move his tongue" against the
tent. Nothing about the camp was disturbed.
Several times during my ministry the Lord has laid upon my heart a message
to deliver, and has not made my burden known to the other ministers
present. As such times, if one is not very true and faithful to God, he is
likely to be accused of the enemy and so prevented from doing his duty. The
first experience of this kind that I remember, occurred at a camp-meeting
in the State of Indiana. One Sunday when a very large crowd was in
attendance, a sectarian minister who seemed to be getting out of Babylon
was expected to preach. The brethren thought it would encourage him and
edify the congregation. In the afternoon I overheard some of the ministers
encouraging him to deliver a message. God made me to understand that this
man was not making the progress that he should and that he was not in a
condition to deliver a message, especially at such a time. I was looking
very earnestly to the Lord when he made me to know that he wanted me to
deliver the message, but I knew from what I had heard that he had not made
it known to the other ministers.
This state of affairs put me in a very trying place; for if I should take
the pulpit, it would look as if I wanted to be too forward, thus hindering
one who might have the message. The conviction on my heart was so great,
however, and God's hand so heavy upon me for this duty, that I got up; but
as I was stepping into the pulpit, I saw the sectarian minister with his
Bible in his hand just ready to rise to his feet. "Oh, pardon me," said I.
"No, you pardon me; go ahead," he replied. "No, you go ahead." "Oh, my
message won't spoil." "Mine won't either," I replied. Then he again
insisted upon my going ahead; and as I knew God was ordering it, I
delivered the message and God wonderfully blessed my soul.
Not until the evening service did the other ministers realize that God was
putting me forward to deliver the message. That night when there were not
more than one-third as many present as there were in the afternoon, the
minister of whom I have been speaking, rose to preach. His sermon was
nothing but a message from the devil. God's ministers were disgusted.
Mother Sarah Smith, who sat right in front of the pulpit and who always
encouraged the ministers and held up their hands with her "Amen! Praise the
Lord!" began in her usual way. I said to myself, "If I have not
misunderstood the voice of God, her amens will stop and her head will go
down before this message is ended." It was not long until her amens ceased.
Before the sermon was ended, some of the ministers were pacing the grounds
in agony because the enemy was filling the pulpit, and some of the sinners
felt like taking the ministers out and giving them a threshing because they
had permitted such a thing.
It was over at last. Brother Warner came to me and said: "Sister Cole, I
can see now why God had you take the pulpit in the afternoon when the
largest crowd was present. There would have been much more harm done, had
he preached then instead of tonight." This experience emphasized to me the
fact that it pays to obey God. First, be sure that God is ordering your
steps, and then be true to God. He will stand by you though you have to go
through fire to do his bidding.
At a camp-meeting in Michigan God made it clear to my soul that at the
evening service he wanted me to deliver a message especially for the
benefit of backsliders. The burden upon me was so great that I could hardly
sit still until time for preaching. In the prayer just before the sermon,
the brother who led made it very clear that he was sure God was going to
have him deliver the message that night. I sympathized with him, of course,
and did not want him to have any unnecessary trial; neither did I want to
disobey God.
I submitted the matter to the Lord, telling him that if he still wanted me
to deliver the message, to hold the brother back until it would not appear
that I was trying to get ahead of him. God wonderfully owned and blessed
his Word, and a number of backsliders were reclaimed. After the service,
the brother who had thought he had the message came to me and said, "Sister
Cole, I did think I had the message, but the Lord blessed you." "Yes," I
said, "the Lord blessed me in obeying; but it took more grace than usual."
At a Kansas camp-meeting there was a man present who had not been living a
consistent Christian life. He had done things that disqualified him for
preaching. I told the Lord that I would do anything he showed me in order
to keep the pulpit clean.
As is usual at such gatherings, the largest crowd was present on Sunday
afternoon. I saw the minister of whom I had just spoken, getting ready to
take the pulpit. It came to my mind that if I wanted to obey the Lord and
to keep my promise I must act quickly. I asked the Lord to exercise his
control and to give me the needed opportunity to obey. He did, and I
preached the sermon that day. Very soon afterward an accident occurred in
which this minister's false teeth were broken, so that he could not preach
during the remainder of the meeting. Thus God's cause was protected.
To obey the Lord under the circumstances of which I have just been
speaking, takes much grace, especially on the part of the minister who
knows the proper attitude toward his fellow ministers and desires to show
them courtesy. At different times when I have felt led to move out and
deliver a message, others have got ahead of me so that I did not have an
opportunity at that time. Frequently under such circumstances God has
opened the way for me to deliver the message later and has made it more
effectual than it would have been had I delivered it when I first desired
to do so. Now, I would not advise workers or ministers to make unusual
efforts to get into the pulpit, unless they knew beyond a doubt that God is
ordering. But if you are certain of the leadings of the Lord, even if God
does not make it plain to others, you may do as God bids you with certainty
of success.
In a certain meeting I had the message, but another minister took the
pulpit so quickly that I had no chance to deliver it. At the close of the
service, a number of persons came to me saying, "Sister Cole, you had the
message." "Yes," I answered, "I felt sure I did, but I had no chance to
deliver it." "Well, maybe God will give you a chance to deliver it yet." "I
think he will if he wants it delivered," I replied, "and perhaps when I do
have an opportunity, the message will be stronger--boiled down, as it
were." The opportunity came the following day. At that time there were
present in the meeting a minister and some of his congregation who had
gotten out of the way. God so blessed the delivery of the Word that not
only the minister but also a number from his congregation got delivered.
Isaiah's prophecy that the blind eyes should be opened, was fulfilled
during the time of Jesus' earthly ministry, and it is being fulfilled
today. I have been a witness to a number of such healings, of which I will
relate three.
While my brother George and I were holding a meeting in Nebraska, a lady,
accompanied by her husband, came a number of miles to be healed of
blindness. She was not a saint, nor do I think that she had even been
professing. Be that as it may, she had heard that the Lord was healing
people. She was so nearly blind that she could not see to sew or read, and
could scarcely do her housework at all. At first we talked to her about her
soul, and she expressed a desire to get right with God. When asked whether
she would rather have salvation or healing, she chose salvation first. We
all bowed before the Lord, and asked him to save her soul. She got the
witness that she was saved. Although we did not make her healing a special
subject of prayer, yet we asked God to do for her eyes all that he saw fit.
The following day she went home, and not long afterward we heard that she
was much better. After another brief interval of time we heard that her
eyes were well and that she could read and sew just as she did before they
became afflicted. Her friends who brought her to the meeting for healing
were very much tried when we instructed her to seek salvation before
healing. They thought that she would be discouraged because we did not make
a specialty of her healing. After all, it turned out all right, thus
showing that God's way is best.
A brother, an old man, came to an Oklahoma camp-meeting for prayer. He had
been a sinner from childhood, and at the time of which I write, had been
saved but little more than a year. A number of us anointed him and asked
God to heal him of rheumatism and of everything else that he saw fit. One
of the brother's eyes was in such bad condition that with it he could not
distinguish a person from other objects. Soon after prayer was offered, he
said the diseased eye had been fully restored.
One of the workers in the Chicago Home began to go blind in one of her
eyes. The sight kept failing until it was entirely lost. We had prayer,
claimed the healing on the authority of God's Word, and did not doubt,
although the sight was not restored immediately. For two months she could
tell but very little difference in the condition of her eye; but during
this time, she held steadily on to God's promise and did not doubt him. At
last God saw fit to give her the desire of her heart. Her faith was
realized and her sight was restored.