"Oh. Thank you. Here's the street floor, Miss McCall."
"Thank you." Orison stepped from the lobby to Broadway, refusing to
examine her fingertip until she was well beyond the shadow of the Taft
Bank Building. Now she looked at it.
A sort of pink paint was showing there. And where she'd touched the
elevator operator's ear to remove the makeup, the flesh beneath had
shown a brilliant, eggplant purple.
* * * * *
Orison was greeted at the National Guard Armory by Auga Vingt, mistress
of malice. "How lovely of you to come right over, darling," she said.
"Kraft is waiting for you in the office of Company C."
"Thank you, darling," Orison purred. She clutched her purse as she
walked up the indicated stairway, Miss Vingt behind her.
Kraft Gerding was in full uniform behind a desk marked "Commanding
Officer," but his was not the uniform of the U.S. Army. It was the sort
that Mr. Wanji had worn as Dink's chauffeur, its splendor squared.
"Good morning, Miss McCall," Kraft Gerding said, standing. "I'm so
happy you could come. We need you here."
"What am I to do, sir?" Orison asked.
"Your presence is the full extent of your services required, my dear,"
he said. "You see, you're my hostage. My brother's interest in your
welfare is so marked that I determined to seize you as collateral for
his cooperation. We've begun a revolution, Miss McCall. You'll stay
with us until victory. Colonel the Margravine Auga Vingt, Commander of
the Royal Refreshment Corps, will act as your hostess. Colonel, please
take Miss McCall to her quarters."
"Now look here, bud!" Orison said.
"The proper address to Mr. Gerding is 'Your Royal Highness,' darling,"
Miss Vingt said, accompanying her point of protocol with a jab at the
small of Orison's back. "Come along, darling."
"I'm not going anywhere until I've telephoned Dink," Orison said.
"Terribly sorry," said Colonel Auga Vingt. "Our telephone has just
gone out of order." Two bravos wearing U.S. Army fatigues--surely the
largest such uniforms ever sewn together--stepped into the room. They
were enormous men, menacing, purple of ear. "Will you walk along like a
good girl, or shall I have my pets carry you?" the odious Auga asked.
"I'll walk," Orison decided. "What's more, I'll sue."
"All in good time, darling," Auga Vingt said.
* * * * *
Orison's cell was large enough to be a ballroom, comprising as it did
the entire basement of the armory. A cot had been unfolded in one
corner, next to a parked half-track, and three olive-drab blankets were
stacked upon it. "Home, darling," Colonel Vingt said.
"I hope you realize that kidnapping is a Federal offense," Orison said.
"So is seizing an armory," her warden explained. "Of course, the
U.S. Army doesn't realize we've got it, yet. They drill here only on
Mondays." She turned and spoke quickly to the two guards, using what
was apparently the same language Wanji had employed over the telephone.
The guards bowed, then each chose a vehicle for his guard-post. One
seated himself behind the wheel of a weapons-carrier, the other posting
himself, cross-legged, on the steel hatch of a Sherman tank.
Auga Vingt turned to leave. "Hey," Orison said. "You're not going to
abandon me here with these two gorillas."
"But, darling, I am!" the obnoxious Auga replied. "If you're worried
about your virtue, rest easy, lamb. I can assure you that my thugs are
safe as kittens, providing only that you make no attempt to escape.
They are required, you see, to confine their romantic aspirations to
members of the Royal Refreshment Corps of appropriate rank. Since they
speak no English, nor any other tongue you're likely to have heard of,
they won't be much company. But they will be loyal in their attendance."
"Let me out of here!" a man's voice shouted, the sound echoing among
the ranks of tanks, half-tracks, weapons-carriers, and jeeps.
"Who's that?" Orison demanded.
"Your fellow-prisoner," Auga explained. "Until quite recently, he was
Commanding Officer of C Company. Your keepers have strict orders not
to let you two speak to one another. But I must get on with my duties,
charming as I find your company. Good day, darling."
"Drop dead," Orison suggested.
* * * * *
After the door had slammed behind Auga Vingt, and the key had chattered
in its lock, she sat at the edge of her cot. The two guards watched her
as casually as though she were just another item on the Motor Company's
T.O.&E. This is what she got for playing it coy with Washington, Orison
thought. If she'd clued J-12 in on the Microfabridae, she'd at least
have been given some technical help. Then someone might have been there
to blow the whistle when she disappeared from the Taft Bank Building.
As things stood now, no one would know of her abduction until her
pillow called tonight at eleven-fifteen and got no answer: A long time
off, she thought. Perhaps she could get some help from the imprisoned
commander of C Company, she thought. Orison stood and called out, "Hey,
there! Can you hear...."
A large palm suddenly closed over her mouth. The guard who'd been
seated atop the tank had sprung down and appeared beside her as
suddenly as a circus trick. Experimentally, he removed his hand from
her mouth. "... me?" Orison completed her query, and was shut off again.
"Five by five," the male voice answered. "Who are...." The other guard
was gone now, and presumably stood beside the captain as his fellow
stood beside Orison. There was silence for five minutes, Orison having
trouble breathing, struggling until it became apparent that no action
of hers would have the slightest effect on the mountainous bulk of her
muffler. Then he removed his hand. Orison, out of breath, her lesson
learned, stayed quiet. The guards resumed their seats aboard the
rolling-stock.
There must be another way to signal her fellow-prisoner, Orison
thought. Tapping? She clicked an S-O-S on the side of a jeep with her
pen. Her guard appeared beside her as quickly as before, and took the
pen to stick it in his pocket. She was, it appeared, effectively in
solitary confinement.
Orison stood up to see if the guard minded. Apparently not. She walked
about the huge basement. She'd never before seen so much military
hardware outside an Armed Forces Day parade. Impressive, all this
steel. A ramp led up to a door the size of a barn-side, also steel,
bolted. If she could get inside a tank, and close the hatch, and
somehow get the monster up that ramp to ram that door, she'd make an
impressive call for help, Orison thought. She put one foot atop a
tank-tread when a large arm reached around her and set her aside. Her
guard, silent-footed, had been following all through her tour.
Orison returned to her cot.
Great deal, she thought. From desk to dungeon in an hour and a half.
She'd battled with shadows, earmuffed shadows, and had got herself set
in an amateur jail guarded by a pair of purple-eared apes. Nothing to
do but wait.
Four feet crashed onto concrete, two figures bowed till the palms of
their hands brushed the floor. "_T'ink_," the newcomer said. The two
guards backed to their vehicles and resumed their seats.
"Orison, my dear!" It was Kraft Gerding, all unction and teeth,
advancing upon her like the loser at tennis, hand outstretched. "I hope
you haven't been unduly discommoded," he said.
* * * * *
"I haven't been commoded at all," Orison said. "No one showed me the
way. Would you mind explaining this chivaree to me, Mr. Gerding?"
"I'd be delighted to explain, my dear," Kraft Gerding said, bowing.
"May I sit?" he asked, waving a hand toward her cot.
"You may fall on your dreadful face, for all I care," Orison said.
"You must learn to speak like a queen," Kraft said, seating himself on
the cot beside her. "Otherwise, of course, you are perfect."
"Of course," Orison said. "I can't say the same for you."
"I grow on one," Kraft said. "You wonder, no doubt, how the William
Howard Taft National Bank and Trust Company became a battleground; why
many of our employees have ears the color of day-old bruises; why Wanji
was so exercised by the color of escudoes; and what the work is that
the Microfabridae sing at. No?"
"Yes," Orison said.
"May I smoke?" Kraft Gerding asked, bringing a cheroot from an inner
pocket of his fieldmarshal's uniform.
"Smoke, glow, burst into flame. It's all the same to me," Orison said.
Kraft Gerding lit his cheroot with the air of an acolyte igniting
incense. Then, puffing, "Accident," he said, "has made you privy to a
_coup d'etat_. Our Empire, you see, is based on porphyrogeniture. Thus
my brother, Dink, is the Heir Apparent. I, his elder brother, conceived
before our father became Emperor, am merely Margrave of the North,
Prince Royal of the House of Dink, Colonel-General of the Forces of the
Triple Crown, Grand Duke of the Zilf Archipelago and Holder of the Keys
to the Royal City of Chilif."
"How unassuming can you get?" Orison asked.
"Your un-knowledge is deeper than I bethought me," Kraft Gerding
said, smiling, scooting a little wester on the cot. Orison moved one
hips-breadth further to the west.
"Very well," Kraft said. "As a primer, thus: my brother Dink ger-Dink,
heir through accident of tradition to the Triple Crown of Empire;
I, his elder, better brother; and our officers and exiles--these
latter common criminals, marked for men's contempt with purple
ears--constitute the XLIIth Subversion-and-Conquest Task Force of the
Empire of Dink. This mighty Empire, for your information, lies some
distance off in the southern skies of Earth."
"How far off?" Orison asked.
"As far," Kraft Gerding said, "as all your men since Adam have run in
pursuit of beauty." He scooted further west.
Orison made still further westering. "You come from some foreign
planet?" she asked.
"No longer foreign, my dear," Kraft said. "Our planet, our triple
footstool, welcomes young Earth to share our ancient wisdom and relax
under the shadow of our might."
"And I, young Earth, tell you, Kraft Gerding, to go sail a saucer,"
Orison said.
* * * * *
Kraft Gerding stood up. "Come with me, my dear. I'll show you the
greenery that establishes me as Emperor Apparent of the planet Earth."
He strode to a steel door, took a key from his pocket, and unlocked it.
"Behold!" he said, flinging the door open.
Orison stepped into the basement room, a cube some fifty feet in each
dimension. She found herself in a corridor between huge walls of
bundled paper. Kraft Gerding, behind her, pried a packet from the wall
and handed it to her. "This, my dear Orison, is the lever with which
I'll over-turn the Earth," he said.
The bundle was banded with a strip of paper bearing the legend,
"$5,000 in 50's." Each bit of paper in the bundle bore the portrait
of President U. S. Grant. "This room," Kraft Gerding said, "contains
some four hundred million dollars in U.S. currency. I intend with this
money, and as much more as I need, to subvert and purchase a nation.
The United States will then be the beach-head for the world."
"Counterfeits," Orison said.
"But perfect counterfeits," Kraft said. "The paper was manufactured
by the master-craftsmen of Chilif. The inks were compounded by the
chemists of that same capital city of Empire. The plates were cut
by twenty million engravers, the Microfabridae of the Storm-Planet,
supervised by Elder Compassion, an ancient of the slothful race that
inhabits the planet nearest our mother sun. This is but one of my
treasuries. I have many such. There is the Threadneedle Room, filled
with pounds-sterling, in ones, fives, fifties and hundreds. There are
other rooms, boxes, trunks and trucks filled with all the currencies
of Earth. I am ready now to purchase this planet from its owners. No
violence, you see. Just subterfuge."
"It's violence enough, to ruin a planet," Orison said.
"It beats war," Kraft Gerding said, drawing on his cheroot.
"And that disgusting Miss Vingt?" Orison asked. "What does she do in
your forces of subversion?"
"Colonel the Margrave Auga Vingt is commander of the Royal Refreshment
Corps," Kraft said. "You understand that it wouldn't do to allow our
men, the purple-eared scum of three planets, to live off the land in
the delicate matter of women. Colonel Vingt's Corps both maintains
morale and prevents incidents of fraternization that Earthmen might
deplore with their fists and guns." Kraft chuckled. "You'll be amused
to hear that Auga Vingt has an ambition to become my Empress, once I
have overthrown my brother's tyranny and taken over Earth."
"I must sit down," Orison said.
"By all means, my dear," Kraft said. He tipped over a stack of bundled
twenty-dollar bills as a hassock for her comfort.
* * * * *
"Could I have a cigarette?" Orison asked.
"Do." Kraft Gerding removed a pack from his pocket and lighted it for
her, passing it from his lips to hers. Orison, hiding her feelings of
distaste for this intimacy, drew on the cigarette. "Perhaps I might
have a drink as well?" she asked. "All this is making me rather dizzy."
"It is dizzy-making," Kraft conceded. "In an instant, my pet." He
strode from the treasure-room, shouting in his native language to the
guards.
Orison tugged a twenty-dollar bill from one of the bundles on which
she'd been sitting and held it to the tip of her cigarette, drawing
to make it hot. The paper glowed, but the tiny patch of fire died out
almost at once. She fumbled in her purse. There it was--her bottle of
nail-polish remover. She splashed the aromatic fluid over the bundled
money and again touched her cigarette to it. The paper flared. Flames
ran in upstream rivers through the stacks above.
Orison ran to the nearest jeep and turned the key. The gears were
unfamiliar to her, but she mastered them sufficiently to get moving
forward toward the steel doors. Up the ramp she rolled, her feet braced
down hard on the accelerator, wedged into her seat. The jeep struck the
steel doors and bounced back the ramp to the sound of a giant Chinese
gong, its engine stalled. Groggy, Orison dismounted and ran to the
door. She pounded on the steel with both fists, shouting for help.
An arm encircled Orison, and she heard behind her the door of the
money-room slam shut. "The blaze will smolder itself out in a moment,
my dear," Kraft Gerding said. He spoke to the guard who held her, and
she was released. "I doubt that you've destroyed more than a million
dollars' worth of your local paper with your prank," he said. "Five
minutes' press-run. I've brought you a spot of brandy. I daresay you
can use it. Arson is thirsty work."
He held out his hand. One of the purple-eared guards produced a silver
tray with a decanter and two balloon-glasses, poured them a quarter
full and presented the glasses to his chief, bowing deeply. Kraft took
one glass, giving the other to Orison. "A toast?" he asked. "To the
success of my rebellion. To our inevitable marriage. And to the health
of our progeny, who are, my dear, to inherit the Earth. A shotgun
toast," he said.
Orison dashed her brandy toward his face. Kraft turned, catching the
shower against his left ear, where it trickled down to stain the braid
of his epaulette. He glared and raised his hand in a most unchivalrous
gesture, then stopped himself. One of the guards produced a silken
cloth to blot him dry.
"The word 'shotgun' was perhaps ill-chosen," Kraft said. "The spirit
you show, dear Orison, is a quality most appropriate to the future
Empress of Earth."
"Keep away from me," Orison said.
* * * * *
"Our ceremony of betrothal is simple," Kraft said. He put his
sword-arm about her waist. "You need only hear me say the words, 'I,
Rex-Imperator, take thee to wife,' and then bow, in the presence of
witnesses of my choosing. You'll be as noble as any princess conceived
in the Purple Chamber of the Palace of Chilif."
"I'd rather die than marry you," Orison said.
"You've established the parameters of the possible rather neatly,
my dear," Kraft Gerding said. "You will become my wife, and
Empress-Apparent of Earth, or you will shortly be the loveliest corpse
on this fair planet. My will is heaven's law, you understand. My
word carries the sanction of two suns, and my anger breeds massive
destruction. I ask of you your one slight person. In return, I offer to
share with you my greatness. You will rule with me in the palace I have
chosen--I forget its name, but it is presently used as the tomb of the
lady who invented the brassiere--the Taj Mahal, that's it. Perhaps we
could rename it. Answer quickly, now; great deeds are deeds of impulse:
marry me!"
"You're mad," Orison said.
"When a man has the power I have, he cannot be called a madman, for
his mind shapes the world to his dreams. There is then, you see, no
disorientation," Kraft said. "You've had a good ten seconds now to
decide. Shall I call my wedding-guests or my executioner?"
"Dink will never let you marry me," Orison said.
"His suit has come so far as that?" Kraft said. "No matter. I'll
destroy him."
"Please leave me, Your Excellency," Orison said. "I need time to think."
"I am clay in your lovely hands," Kraft said, bowing. "I grant your
wish."
"If I might ask another boon, Your Excellency," Orison said, "I'd like
to talk with Dink."
"And so you shall," Kraft promised her. "Tomorrow, perhaps. With my
brother in chains and you in the regalia of an Empress." He bowed
again, and left her. The door-lock clicked after him. The two huge
guards closed in on either side of Orison and led her back to her cot.
When she had seated herself, they withdrew to their perches on the Army
vehicles.