The unexampled rapidity with which, owing to the opportunities of
war-time, men in all walks of life have reached the top of the tree in
early manhood is leading on to strange but inevitable results. Unable
to rise any higher they are already contemplating the heroic course
of justifying their eminence by starting afresh at the bottom of the
ladder.
The crucial and classical example is, of course, furnished by our Boy
Chancellor. It is an open secret that, with that sagacious foresight
which has always characterised him, Lord BIRKENHEAD recognises the
impermanency of his exalted position and is resolved when and if he
leaves the Woolsack to resume practice as a Junior. It is further
rumoured that some of our judges intend to follow his august example.
The atmosphere of the Bench is not always exhilarating, and the salary
is fixed. But a self-effacing altruism doubtless also enters into
their motives.
The impending exodus from Whitehall is another factor in the
situation. Scores of demobilised "Ministerial angels" will soon
be released, and are meditating fresh outlets for their benevolent
energies. Many of them are young and some beautiful. The romance of
commerce and of the stage will prove a potent lure. Never has the
demand for an elegant deportment and urbane manners in our great shops
and stores been more clamant; never has the standard been higher.
Our ex-officials may have to stoop, but it will be to conquer. We can
confidently look forward to the day when no shop will be without its
DEMOSTHENES, ALCIBIADES or its CICERO. Opportunities for employment
on the stage are likely to be multiplied by the alleged intention
of several actor-managers to enter Parliament, while others, nobly
anxious to satisfy the claims of youth, have expressed their resolve
only to appear henceforth in such subsidiary parts as dead bodies and
outside shouts.
In the domain of letters some startling developments are also
threatened on similar lines. Mr. WELLS, always remarkable for his
refusal to commit himself to any finality in the formulation of his
opinions, has, it is said, decided to devote his talents in future
exclusively to the composition of educational works in words of
one syllable, and where possible of three letters. He is also
contemplating a revised and simplified edition of his novels,
beginning with _Mr. Brit Sees It Thro'_. Mr. SHAW'S fresh start will
be the greatest surprise of all. He intends to go to Eton and
Oxford, and, as a don, to combat the tide of Socialism at our older
Universities. Mr. BELLOC, it is reported, has re-enlisted in the
French Artillery, and Mr. ARNOLD BENNETT has accepted a commission in
the Dutch mercantile marine.
The future of Mr. ASQUITH has given rise to a good deal of speculation
in the Press, but we are in a position to state that he does not
intend to re-enter politics or to resume his practice at the Bar, but
has resolved to return to his first love--journalism. Sport is the
only department in which the ornate and orotund style of which Mr.
ASQUITH is a master is still in vogue, and the description of classic
events in classical diction will furnish him with a congenial opening
for the exercise of his great literary talent.
The rumour that Mr. BALFOUR, on his retirement from the post of
Foreign Secretary, will take up the arduous duties of caddie-master at
St. Andrew's is not yet fully confirmed. Meanwhile he is known to be
considering the alternative offer of the secretaryship to the Handel
Society. In this context it is interesting to hear that, according to
a Rotterdam agency, Sir EDWARD ELGAR has just completed a series of
pieces for the mouth-organ, dedicated to Sir LEO CHIOZZA MONEY, which
will, it is hoped, be shortly heard in the luncheon interval at the
Coal Commission.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "EXCUSE ME, OFFICER, BUT HAVE YOU SEEN ANY PICKPOCKETS
ABOUT HERE WITH A HANDKERCHIEF MARKED 'SUSAN'?"]
* * * * *