It was the pig, says an eminent Danish economist, that lost Germany
the War. His omission to specify which pig seems almost certain to
provoke further recriminations among the German High Command.
***
After all, the War _may_ have wakened a new spirit in the nation. Up
to the time of writing no one has attempted to corner mint-sauce.
***
A movement, we hear, is on foot to give a public welcome to the
cheeses on their return to our midst. It is thought that a march-past
could easily be arranged.
***
Hackney will supply electricity to consumers at a special rate during
the Peace celebrations. The present price of one-and-sixpence per
kilowatt-and-soda practically inhibits anything like deep-seated
festivity.
***
A Miners' Association in the North has decided not to establish a
weekly newspaper. Pending other arrangements they will do a little
light mining, but it must not be taken as a precedent.
***
At a meeting of Hassocks allotment-holders a speaker stated that he
had seen rabbits jump a fence five feet high. Experts declare that
this is at least three feet over proof.
***
As the outcome of suggestions by the Economy Committee at Eton Dr.
ALINGTON has made certain restrictions in regard to various articles
of dress, notably socks and mufflers. Henceforward only such socks as
do not require muffling will be worn.
***
The cow that walked into the lending library at Walton Heath has
since explained that it merely wanted to look up "Manchuria" in the
encyclopaedia.
***
It is said that the question of neutrality has caused most of the
delay in the formation of the League of Nations. We certainly realise
the difficulty in deciding how Norway and Switzerland could come to
grips, in the event of a War between these two countries, without
infringing the laws of neutrality.
***
"No harm to the moon will result from the eclipse of the sun on May
28th," states a writer in an evening paper. This is good news for
those who have mining shares there.
***
There is a falling off in the tanning of kids in India, says _The
Shoe and Leather Trades Record_. Smith minor talks of migrating to the
Orient.
***
Government ale, says a trade paper, will shortly be on sale in some
parts of Ireland. This certainly ought to be a lesson to them.
***
Two Parisians who had previously arranged to fight a duel have refused
to meet. It is supposed that they have quarrelled.
***
As we go to press we are informed on good authority that the cat that
developed rabies last week has now been successfully killed eight
times, and it is expected that its final execution will have taken
place by the time this appears in print.
***
We understand that the Tredegar Fire Brigade strike is settled.
Patrons are asked to bear with the Brigade, who have promised to work
off arrears of fires in strict rotation.
***
A Surrey Church magazine appeals for funds to renovate the church
exits. For ourselves, if we were a parson, we shouldn't worry about
getting people out of church so long as we got them in.
***
A Scottish Chamber of Commerce has passed a resolution in favour of
smaller One Pound Treasury Notes. If at the same time they could be
made a bit cheaper the movement would be a popular one.
***
A taxi-driver who knocked down a pedestrian in Edgware Road and
then drove off has been summoned. His defence is that he mistook the
unfortunate man for an intending fare.
***
The Northumberland Miners' Council has passed a resolution calling
on the Government to evacuate our troops from Russia, drop the
Conscription Bill, remove the blockade and release conscientious
objectors. Their silence on the subject of Dalmatia is being much
commented on.
***
A report reaches us that Jazz is about to be made a notifiable
disease.
* * * * *