Few will dispute the general truth and effect of the above statement,

so that the question is one to be settled on the same principle as

applies to the use of alcoholic drinks. Is it, then, according to the

generous principles of Christ’s religion, for those who are strong and

able to bear this poison, to tempt the young, the ignorant, and the

weak to a practice not needful to any healthful enjoyment, and which

leads multitudes to disease, and often to vice? For the use of tobacco

tends always to lessen nerve-power, and probably every one out of

five that indulges in its use awakens a morbid craving for increased

stimulus, lessens the power of self-control, diminishes the strength of

the constitution, and sets an example that influences the weak to the

path of danger and of frequent ruin.

The great danger of this age is an increasing, intense worldliness,

and disbelief in the foundation principle of the religion of Christ,

that we are to reap through everlasting ages the consequences of habits

formed in this life. In the light of his Word, they only who are

truly wise “shall shine as the firmament, and they that turn many to

righteousness, as the stars, forever and ever.”

It is increased _faith_ or _belief_ in the teachings of Christ’s

religion, as to the influence of this life upon the _life to come_,

which alone can save our country and the world from that inrushing tide

of sensualism and worldliness now seeming to threaten the best hopes

and prospects of our race.

And woman, as the chief educator of our race, and the prime minister of

the family state, is bound, in the use of meats and drinks, to employ

the powerful and distinctive motives of the religion of Christ in

forming habits of temperance and benevolent self-sacrifice for the good

of others.

CHAPTER X.

CLEANLINESS.

Both the health and comfort of a family depend, to a great extent, on

cleanliness of the person and the family surroundings. True cleanliness

of person involves the scientific treatment of the skin. This is the

most complicated organ of the body, and one through which the health is

affected more than through any other; and no persons can or will be so

likely to take proper care of it as those by whom its construction and

functions are understood.

[Illustration: Fig. 55.]

Fig. 55 is a very highly magnified portion of the skin. The layer

marked 1 is the outside, very thin skin, called the _cuticle_ or _scarf

skin_. This consists of transparent layers of minute cells, which are

constantly decaying and being renewed, and the white scurf that passes

from the skin to the clothing is a decayed portion of these cells. This

part of the skin has neither nerves nor blood-vessels.

The dark layer, marked 2, 7, 8, is that portion of the true skin which

gives the external color marking diverse races. In the portion of the

dark layer marked 3, 4, is seen a net-work of nerves which run from two

branches of the nervous trunks coming from the spinal marrow. These

are nerves of sensation, by which the sense of touch or feeling is

performed. Fig. 56 represents the blood-vessels, (intermingled with

the nerves of the skin,) which divide into minute capillaries, that

act like the capillaries of the lungs, taking oxygen from the air, and

giving out carbonic acid. At _a_ and _b_ are seen the roots of two

hairs, which abound in certain parts of the skin, and are nourished by

the blood of the capillaries.

[Illustration: Fig. 56.]

[Illustration: Fig. 57.]

At Fig. 57 is a magnified view of another set of vessels, called the

_lymphatics_ or _absorbents_. These are extremely minute vessels that

interlace with the nerves and blood-vessels of the skin. Their office

is to aid in collecting the useless, injurious, or decayed matter,

and carry it to certain reservoirs, from which it passes into some of

the large veins, to be thrown out through the lungs, bowels, kidneys,

or skin. These _absorbent_ or _lymphatic vessels_ have mouths opening

on the surface of the true skin, and, though covered by the cuticle,

they can absorb both liquids and solids that are placed in close

contact with the skin. In proof of this, one of the main trunks of the

lymphatics in the hand can be cut off from all communication with other

portions, and tied up; and if the hand is immersed in milk a given

time, it will be found that the milk has been absorbed through the

cuticle and fills the lymphatics. In this way long-continued blisters

on the skin will introduce the blistering matter into the blood through

the absorbents, and then the kidneys will take it up from the blood

passing through them to carry it out of the body, and thus become

irritated and inflamed by it.

There are also oil-tubes, imbedded in the skin, that draw off oil from

the blood. This issues on the surface, and spreads over the cuticle to

keep it soft and moist.

But the most curious part of the skin is the system of innumerable

minute perspiration-tubes. Fig. 58 is a drawing of one very greatly

magnified. These tubes open on the cuticle, and the openings are

called pores of the skin. They descend into the true skin, and there

form a coil, as is seen in the drawing. These tubes are hollow, like

a pipe-stem, and their inner surface consists of wonderfully minute

capillaries filled with the impure venous blood. And in these small

tubes the same process is going on as takes place when the carbonic

acid and water of the blood are exhaled from the lungs. The capillaries

of these tubes through the whole skin of the body are thus constantly

exhaling the noxious and decayed particles of the body, just as the

lungs pour them out through the mouth and nose.

[Illustration: Fig. 58.]

It has been shown that the perspiration-tubes are coiled up into a ball

at their base. The number and extent of these tubes are astonishing.

In a square inch on the palm of the hand have been counted, through a

microscope, thirty-five hundred of these tubes. Each one of them is

about a quarter of an inch in length, including its coils. This makes

the united lengths of these little tubes to be seventy-three feet to a

square inch. Their united length over the whole body is thus calculated

to be equal to _twenty-eight miles_. What a wonderful apparatus this!

And what mischiefs must ensue when the drainage from the body of such

an extent as this becomes obstructed!

But the inside of the body also has a skin, as have all its organs. The

interior of the head, the throat, the gullet, the lungs, the stomach,

and all the intestines, are lined with a skin. This is called the

_mucous membrane_, because it is constantly secreting from the blood a

slimy substance called _mucus_. When it accumulates in the lungs, it

is called _phlegm_. This inner skin also has nerves, blood-vessels,

and lymphatics. The outer skin joins to the inner at the mouth, the

nose, and other openings of the body, and there is a constant sympathy

between the two skins, and thus between the inner organs and the

surface of the body.

SECRETING ORGANS.

Those vessels of the body which draw off certain portions of the blood

and change it into a new form, to be employed for service or to be

thrown out of the body, are called _secreting organs_. The skin in

this sense is a secreting organ, as its perspiration-tubes secrete or

separate the bad portions of the blood, and send them off.

Of the internal secreting organs, the _liver_ is the largest. Its chief

office is to secrete from the blood all matter not properly supplied

with oxygen. For this purpose, a set of veins carries the blood of

all the lower intestines to the liver, where the imperfectly oxidized

matter is drawn off in the form of _bile_, and accumulated in a

reservoir called the _gallbladder_. Thence it passes to the place where

the smaller intestines receive the food from the stomach, and there it

mixes with this food. Then it passes through the long intestines, and

is thrown out of the body through the rectum. This shows how it is that

want of pure and cool air and exercise causes excess of bile, from lack

of oxygen. The liver also has arterial blood sent to nourish it, and

corresponding veins to return this blood to the heart. So there are two

sets of blood-vessels for the liver—one to secrete the bile, and the

other to nourish the organ itself.

The kidneys secrete from the arteries that pass through them all excess

of water in the blood, and certain injurious substances. These are

carried through small tubes to the bladder, and thence thrown out of

the body.

The _pancreas_, a whitish gland situated in the abdomen below the

stomach, secretes from the arteries that pass through it the pancreatic

juice, which unites with the bile from the liver, in preparing the food

for nourishing the body.

There are certain little glands near the eyes that secrete the tears,

and others near the mouth that secrete the saliva, or spittle.

These organs all have arteries sent to them to nourish them, and also

veins to carry away the impure blood. At the same time, they secrete

from the arterial blood the peculiar fluid which it is their office to

supply.

All the food that passes through the lower intestines which is not

drawn off by the lacteals or by some of these secreting organs, passes

from the body through a passage called the rectum.

Learned men have made very curious experiments to ascertain how much

the several organs throw out of the body. It is found that the skin

throws off five out of eight pounds of the food and drink, or probably

about three or four pounds a day. The lungs throw off one quarter as

much as the skin, or about a pound a day. The remainder is carried off

by the kidneys and lower intestines.

There is such a sympathy and connection between all the organs of the

body, that when one of them is unable to work, the others perform the

office of the feeble one. Thus, if the skin has its perspiration-tubes

closed up by a chill, then all the poisonous matter that would have

been thrown out through them must be emptied out either by the lungs,

kidneys, or bowels.

When all these organs are strong and healthy, they can bear this

increased labor without injury. But if the lungs are weak, the blood

sent from the skin by the chill engorges the weak blood-vessels, and

produces an inflammation of the lungs. Or it increases the discharge of

a slimy mucous substance, that exudes from the skin of the lungs. This

fills up the air-vessels, and would very soon end life, were it not

for the spasms of the lungs, called _coughing_, which throw off this

substance.

If, on the other hand, the bowels are weak, a chill of the skin

sends the blood into all the blood-vessels of the intestines, and

produces inflammation there, or else an excessive secretion of the

mucous substance, which is called a _diarrhea_. Or if the kidneys are

weak, there is an increased secretion and discharge from them, to an

unhealthy and injurious extent.

This connection between the skin and internal organs is shown, not

only by the internal effects of a chill on the skin, but by the

sympathetic effect on the skin when these internal organs suffer. For

example, there are some kinds of food that will irritate and influence

the stomach or the bowels; and this, by sympathy, will produce an

immediate eruption on the skin. Some persons, on eating strawberries,

will immediately be affected with a nettle-rash. Others can not eat

certain shell-fish without being affected in this way. Many humors on

the face are caused by a diseased state of the internal organs with

which the skin sympathizes.

This short account of the construction of the skin, and of its intimate

connection with the internal organs, shows the philosophy of those

modes of medical treatment that are addressed to this portion of the

body.

It is on this powerful agency that the steam-doctors rely,

when, by moisture and heat, they stimulate all the innumerable

perspiration-tubes and lymphatics to force out from the body a flood

of unnaturally excited secretions; while it is “kill or cure,” just as

the chance may meet or oppose the demands of the case. It is the skin,

also, that is the chief basis of medical treatment in the Water Cure,

whose slow processes are as much safer as they are slower.

At the same time, it is the ill-treatment or neglect of the skin which,

probably, is the cause of disease and decay to an incredible extent.

The various particulars in which this may be seen will now be pointed

out. In the management and care of this wonderful and complex part of

the body many mistakes have been made.

The most common one is the misuse of the bath, especially since

cold-water cures have come into use. This mode of medical treatment

originated with an ignorant peasant, amidst a population where outdoor

labor had strengthened nerves and muscles and imparted rugged powers to

every part of the body. It was then introduced into England and America

without due consideration or knowledge of the diseases, habits, or real

condition of patients, especially of women. The consequence was a mode

of treatment too severe and exhausting; and many practices were spread

abroad not warranted by true medical science.

But, in spite of these mistakes and abuses, the treatment of the skin

for disease by the use of cold water has become an accepted doctrine

of the most learned medical practitioners. It is now held by all such

that fevers can be detected in their distinctive features by the

thermometer, and that all fevers can be reduced by cold baths and

packing in the wet sheet, in the mode employed in all water cures.

It has been supposed that large bath-tubs for immersing the whole

person are indispensable to the proper cleaning of the skin. This is

not so. A wet towel, applied every morning to the skin, followed by

friction in pure air, is all that is absolutely needed; although a full

bath is a great luxury. Access of air to every part of the skin, when

its perspiratory tubes are cleared and its blood-vessels are filled by

friction, is the best ordinary bath.

Children should be washed all over, every night or morning, to remove

impurities from the skin. But in this process careful regard should be

paid to the peculiar constitution of a child. Very nervous children

sometimes revolt from cold water, and like a tepid bath; others prefer

a cold bath; and nature should be the guide. It must be remembered that

the skin is the great organ of sensation, and in close connection with

brain, spine, and nerve-centres: so that what a strong nervous system

can bear with advantage is too powerful and exhausting for another. As

age advances, or as disease debilitates the body, great care should

be taken not to overtax the nervous system by sudden shocks, or to

diminish its powers by withdrawing animal heat to excess. Persons

lacking robustness should bathe or use friction in a warm room; and if

very delicate, should expose only a portion of the body at once to cold

air. But an evening or morning washing and friction of the skin will

save from colds and many other evils.

Johnson, a celebrated writer on agricultural chemistry, tells of an

experiment by friction on the skin of pigs, whose skins are like that

of the human race. He treated six of these animals with a curry-comb

seven weeks, and left three other pigs untouched. The result was a gain

of thirty-three pounds more of weight, with the use of five bushels

less of food for those curried, than for the neglected ones. This

result was owing to the fact that all the functions of the body were

more perfectly performed when, by friction, the skin was kept free from

filth and the blood in it exposed to the air. The same will be true of

the human skin. A calculation has been made on this fact, by which it

is estimated that a man, by proper care of his skin, would save over

thirty-one dollars in food yearly, which at 6 per cent. is the interest

on over five hundred dollars. If men will give as much care to their

own skin as they give to currying a horse, they will gain both health

and wealth.

CHAPTER XI.

CLOTHING.

There is no duty of those persons having control of a family where

principle and practice are more at variance than in regulating the

dress of young girls, especially at the most important and critical

period of life. It is a difficult duty for parents and teachers to

contend with the power of fashion, which at this time of a young

girl’s life is frequently the ruling thought, and when to be out of

the fashion, to be odd and not dress as all her companions do, is a

mortification and grief that no argument or instructions can relieve.

The mother is often so overborne that, in spite of her better wishes,

the daughter adopts modes of dress alike ruinous to health and to

beauty.

The greatest protection against such an emergency is to train a

child to understand the construction of her own body, and to impress

upon her, in early days, her obligations to the invisible Friend and

Guardian of her life, the “Former of her body and the Father of her

spirit,” who has committed to her care so precious and beautiful a

casket. And the more she can be made to realize the skill and beauty

of construction shown in her earthly frame, the more will she feel the

obligation to protect it from injury and abuse.

It is a singular fact that the war of fashion has attacked most fatally

what seems to be the strongest foundation and defense of the body, the

bones. For this reason, the construction and functions of this part of

the body will now receive attention.

The bones are composed of two substances, one animal, and the other

mineral. The animal part is a very fine net-work, called _cellular

membrane_. In this are deposited the harder mineral substances, which

are composed principally of carbonate and phosphate of lime. In very

early life, the bones consist chiefly of the animal part, and are then

soft and pliant. As the child advances in age, the bones grow harder,

by the gradual deposition of the phosphate of lime, which is supplied

by the food, and carried to the bones by the blood. In old age, the

hardest material preponderates; making the bones more brittle than in

earlier life.

The bones are covered with a thin skin or membrane, filled with small

blood-vessels which convey nourishment to them.

Where the bones unite with others to form joints, they are covered with

_cartilage_, which is a smooth, white, elastic substance. This enables

the joints to move smoothly, while its elasticity prevents injuries

from sudden jars.

The joints are bound together by strong, elastic bands called

_ligaments_, which hold them firmly and prevent dislocation.

Between the ends of the bones that unite to form joints are small sacks

or bags, that contain a soft lubricating fluid. This answers the same

purpose for the joints as oil in making machinery work smoothly, while

the supply is constant and always in exact proportion to the demand.

If you will examine the leg of some fowl, you can see the cartilage

that covers the ends of the bones at the joints, and the strong white

ligaments that bind the joints together.

The health of the bones depends on the proper nourishment and exercise

of the body as much as that of any other part. When a child is feeble

and unhealthy, or when it grows up without exercise, the bones do not

become firm and hard as they are when the body is healthfully developed

by exercise. The size as well as the strength of the bones, to a

certain extent, also depend upon exercise and good health. So also they

depend on the food, for fine flour is deprived of the materials that

form bone, and growing children often have weak bones from having this

for common food.

The chief supporter of the body is the spine, which consists of

twenty-four small bones, interlocked or hooked into each other, while

between them are elastic cushions of cartilage which aid in preserving

the upright, natural position. Fig. 59 shows three of the spinal bones,

hooked into each other, the dark spaces showing the disks or flat

circular plates of cartilage between them.

[Illustration: Fig. 59.]

The spine is held in its proper position, partly by the ribs, partly by

muscles, partly by aid of the elastic disks, and partly by the close

packing of the intestines in front of it.

The upper part of the spine is often thrown out of its proper position

by constant stooping of the head over books or work. This affects the

elastic disks so that they grow thick at the back side and thinner at

the front side by such constant pressure. The result is the awkward

projection of the head forward which is often seen in schools and

colleges.

Another distortion of the spine is produced by tight dress around the

waist. The liver occupies the right side of the body and is a solid

mass, while on the other side is the larger part of the stomach, which

is often empty. The consequence of tight dress around the waist is

a constant pressure of the spine toward the unsupported part where

the stomach lies. Thus the elastic disks again are compressed, till

they become thinner on one side than the other, and harden into that

condition. This produces what is called the _lateral curvature of the

spine_, making one shoulder higher than the other.

The evils consequent on modes of dress can never be remedied until the

process of _breathing_ is understood and its influence in preserving

the position and healthful action of the pelvic organs in both sexes,

but especially those of woman. And this has never been explained in any

of our popular works on physiology.

In the diagram, Figs. 60, 61, D represents the diaphragm, which

resembles an inverted bowl. Above it are the heart and lungs, marked

H and L, and these are held up by blood-vessels and other supports

above them. In this position of the diaphragm the air-vessels of the

lungs are only partially filled with air, and there are two modes of

increasing this supply. One is by _chest_ breathing, when the ribs are

lifted upward and outward, making a vacuum in the air-vessels of the

lungs. At the same time, the diaphragm is flattened by this expansion

of the chest, as shown by the dotted lines. Then the air presses in

through the nose and windpipe and fills the air-vessels, giving up its

oxygen to the blood, and receiving carbonic acid and water, which are

expired when the ribs and diaphragm return to their natural position.

[Illustration: Fig. 60.]

[Illustration: Fig. 61.]

The other mode of filling the lungs is by _abdominal_ breathing, as

illustrated by Fig. 61.

At D is a side view of the diaphragm in its natural position, and

the dotted lines show its position when it is contracted and thus

flattened. When the diaphragm contracts or flattens, a vacant space is

left above it, and then the air rushes in to fill the vacuum, as it

does when the ribs are raised. This flattening of the diaphragm presses

all the viscera beneath it downward, and thus causes the abdomen to

swell outward, as is represented by the dotted lines at A. Then, when

the diaphragm returns to its natural state, a vacant space is made

beneath it, and in consequence the viscera below rises to fill the

vacuum, owing to the pressure of the atmosphere around the body; for

it is said that “nature abhors a vacuum,” by which is expressed a law

of pneumatics in a popular adage. This law is, that when a vacuum is

made in either air or water, the surrounding fluid presses from all

sides, and from the bottom as strongly as from above. And thus, when a

vacuum is made by the raising of the diaphragm, there is a pressure on

all sides of the body, forcing the intestines upward to fill the vacuum

thus made.

This enables us to explain that most curious and wonderful mode by

which the upper viscera are prevented from sinking on to the lower, as

secured chiefly by abdominal breathing.

The _pelvis_ is the bony basin supporting the spine, to which the bones

of the legs are fastened.

This basin holds the pelvic organs, consisting in one sex of the

bladder and rectum, and in the other sex of the bladder, vagina,

uterus, and rectum. These pelvic organs must enlarge by use, and so

are placed in a spongy, yielding substance called _cellular membrane_.

Now the liver, stomach, and all the intestines below the diaphragm,

have _no support from above_, and so the question is, what sustains

these organs, weighing from six to twelve pounds, so that they do not

sink down on to the delicate pelvic organs below? The answer is, they

are held up chiefly by _abdominal breathing_, as above explained. For

at every rise of the diaphragm a vacuum is made above the abdominal

viscera, lifting them upward, and this is done at every breath, and we

breathe about twenty times each minute.

By this constant upward and downward movement of the abdominal viscera,

the healthful and quickened circulation of the blood in all the myriad

capillaries of both the abdominal and also the pelvic organs is

promoted; for it has been shown on page 152 how alternate compression

and relaxation of the veins promotes quickened circulation in all the

veins and capillaries. Of course, any thing that impedes abdominal

breathing interrupts this lifting operation, so that the upper

intestines are left to gravitate on the pelvic organs. This stops the

healthful flow of blood through the capillaries, and tends to produce

congestion, inflammation, and cancerous accumulations in the pelvic

organs.

All natural and healthful breathing unites both chest and abdominal

breathing, as may be seen by watching a sleeping child. Clothing

resting on the hips and abdomen, unsupported from the shoulders, is

sure to impede abdominal breathing, and if heavy, to stop it entirely.

In the present style of dress, when the clothing rests on hips and

abdomen, and is unsupported by shoulder-straps, through most of the

day this most healthful movement is interrupted, and thus the most

efficient mode is taken of bringing on terrible suffering, both

physical and mental.

Many a school-girl, whose waist was originally of a proper and

healthful size, has gradually pressed the soft bones of youth until

the lower ribs, that should rise and fall with every breath, become

entirely unused, while heavy clothing or stiff corset-bones stop the

abdominal breathing.

The pressure of the upper interior organs upon the lower ones by tight

dress, is increased by the weight of clothing resting on the hips and

abdomen. Corsets, as usually worn, have no support from the shoulders,

and consequently all the weight of dress resting upon or above them

presses upon the hips and abdomen, and this in such a way as to throw

out of use, and thus weaken, the supporting muscles of the abdomen, and

impede abdominal breathing.

Then the _stomach_ begins to draw from above, instead of resting on

the viscera beneath it. This in some cases causes dull and wandering

pains, a sense of pulling at the centre of the chest, and a drawing

downward at the pit of the stomach. Then, as the natural mode of

support is really _gone_, there is what is often called “a feeling of

_goneness_.” This is sometimes relieved by food, which, so long as it

remains in a solid form, helps to hold up the falling superstructure.

This displacement of the stomach, liver, and spleen interrupts their

healthful functions, and dyspepsia and biliary difficulties not

unfrequently are the result.

As the stomach and its appendages fall downward, the breathing

sometimes thus becomes quicker and shorter, on account of the elongated

or debilitated condition of the assisting organs. Consumption not

unfrequently results from this cause.

The _heart_ also feels the evil. “Palpitations,” “flutterings,”

“sinking feelings,” all show that, in the language of Scripture, “the

heart trembleth, and is moved out of its place.”

Having the weight of all the unsupported organs above pressing them

into unnatural and distorted positions, the passage of the food is

interrupted, and inflammations, indurations, and constipation are the

frequent result. Dreadful ulcers and cancers in the bowels may be

traced in some instances to this cause.

Although these internal displacements are most common among women,

some foolish members of the other sex are adopting customs of dress, in

girding the central portion of the body, that tend to similar results.

But this distortion brings upon woman peculiar distresses. The pressure

of the whole superincumbent mass on the pelvic or lower organs induces

sufferings proportioned in acuteness to the extreme delicacy and

sensitiveness of the parts thus crushed. And the intimate connection of

these organs with the brain and whole nervous system renders injuries

thus inflicted the causes of the most extreme anguish, both of body and

mind. This evil is becoming so common, not only among married women but

among young girls, as to be a just cause for universal alarm.

How very common these sufferings are few but the medical profession

can realize, because they are troubles that must be concealed. Many

a woman is moving about in uncomplaining agony who, with any other

trouble involving equal suffering, would be on her bed surrounded by

sympathizing friends.

The terrible sufferings that are sometimes thus induced can never be

conceived of, or at all appreciated from any use of language. Nothing

that the public can be made to believe on this subject will ever equal

the reality. Not only mature persons and mothers, but fair young girls

sometimes, are shut up for months and years as helpless and suffering

invalids from this cause. This may be found all over the land. And

there frequently is a horrible extremity of suffering in certain forms

of this evil, which no woman of feeble constitution dressing in present

fashion can ever be certain may not be her doom. Not that in all cases

this extremity is involved, but none can say who will escape it.

In regard to this, if one must choose for a friend or a child, on the

one hand, the horrible torments inflicted by savage Indians or cruel

inquisitors on their victims, or, on the other, the protracted agonies

that result from such deformities and displacements, sometimes the

former would be a merciful exchange. And yet this is the fate that is

coming to meet the young as well as the mature in every direction.

And tender parents are unconsciously leading their lovely and hapless

daughters to this awful doom.

There is no excitement of the imagination in what is here indicated. If

the facts and details could be presented, they would send a groan of

terror all over the land. For it is not one class, or one section, that

is endangered. In every part of our country the evil is progressing.

And, as if these dreadful ills were not enough, there have been added

methods of medical treatment at once useless, torturing to the mind,

and involving great liability to immoralities.[5]

[5] Some extracts from medical writers in Note A will give the views of

the most respected physicians all over the land on this point.

[Illustration: Fig. 62.]

[Illustration: Fig. 63.]

In hope of abating these evils, drawings are given (Fig. 62 and Fig.

63) of the front and back of a jacket that will preserve the advantages

of the corset without its evils. This jacket may at first be fitted to

the figure with corsets underneath it, just like the waist of a dress.

Then delicate whalebones can be used to stiffen the jacket, so that

it will take the proper shape, when the corset may be dispensed with.

The buttons below are to hold all articles of dress below the waist

by button-holes. By this method the bust is supported as well as by

corsets, while the shoulders support from above, as they should do, the

weight of the dress below. No stiff bone should be allowed to press

in front, and the jacket should be so loose that a full breath can be

inspired with ease while in a sitting position.

The proper way to dress a young girl is to have a cotton or flannel

close-fitting jacket next the body, to which the drawers should be

buttoned. Over this place the chemise; and over that, such a jacket as

the one here drawn, to which should be buttoned the hoops and other

skirts. Thus every article of dress will be supported by the shoulders.

The sleeves of the jacket can be omitted, and in that case a strong

lining, and also a tape binding, must surround the arm-hole, which

should be loose.

It is hoped that increase of intelligence and moral power among

mothers, and a combination among them to regulate fashions, may banish

the pernicious practices that have prevailed. If a _school-girl dress_

without corsets and without tight belts could be established as a

fashion, it would be one step gained in the right direction. Then, if

mothers could secure to their daughters daily domestic exercise in

chambers, eating-rooms, and parlors in loose dresses, a still further

advance would be secured.

A friend of the writer informs her that her daughter had her wedding

outfit made up by a fashionable milliner in Paris, and every dress was

beautifully fitted to the form, and yet was not compressing to any

part. This was done too without the use of corsets, the stiffening

being delicate and yielding whalebones.

Not only parents but all having the care of young girls, especially

those at boarding-schools, have a fearful responsibility resting upon

them in regard to this important duty.

In regard to the dressing of young children, much discretion is needed

to adapt dress to circumstances and peculiar constitutions. The leading

fact must be borne in mind, that the skin is made strong and healthful

by exposure to light and pure air, while cold air, if not excessive,

has a tonic influence. If the skin of infants is rubbed with the

hand till red with blood, and then exposed naked to sun and air in a

well-ventilated room, it will be favorable to health.

There is a constitutional difference in the skin of different children

in regard to retaining the animal heat manufactured within, so that

some need more clothing than others for comfort. Nature is a safe

guide to a careful nurse and mother, and will indicate, by the looks

and actions of a child, when more clothing is needful. As a general

rule, it is safe for a healthful child to wear as little clothing as

suffices to keep it from complaining of cold. Fifty years ago, it

was not common for children to wear as much under-clothing as they

now do. The writer well remembers how girls, though not of strong

constitutions, used to play for hours in the snow-drifts without the

protection of drawers, kept warm by exercise and occasional runs to an

open fire. And multitudes of children grew to vigorous maturity through

similar exposures to cold-air baths, and without the frequent colds and

sicknesses so common among children of the present day, who are more

carefully housed and warmly dressed. But care was taken that the feet

should be kept dry and warmly clad, because, circulation being feebler

in the extremities, this precaution was important.

It must also be considered that age brings with it decrease in vigor

of circulation, and diminished generation of heat, so that more warmth

of air and clothing is needed at an advanced period of life than is

suitable for the young.

These are the general principles which must be applied with

modification to each individual case. A child of delicate constitution

must have more careful protection from cold air than is desirable for

one more vigorous, while the leading general principle is retained that

cold air is a healthful tonic for the skin whenever it does not produce

an uncomfortable chilliness.

Sometimes it is asked, Why are women, especially young girls, so much

more delicate and sickly than in former days? The true reply would be,

it is because parents and teachers are doing every thing they can do to

produce such mischiefs.

Sleeping in unventilated chambers; living in school-rooms and parlors

heated to excess, and charged with poisonous gases; exposed to sudden

variations of temperature from mismanagement; eating unhealthful food

at irregular hours and to a dangerous excess; supplied with unhealthful

confectionary to eat at any hour; indulging in exciting amusements,

with late hours for sleep; the brain stimulated by a multitude of

school duties and studies unrelieved by sufficient sleep or by

muscular exercise; the dress contrived to impede vital functions, so as

to force the upper organs on to the lower, generating the most cruel

displacements and mental and bodily diseases; overheating the parts

most injured by such treatment, and exposing the parts most important

to keep warm; compressing feet and ankles so as to impede circulation,

with high heels throwing all the muscles out of natural play, so as to

increase all the dangerous tendencies to internal displacement; these

are only one portion of the many contrivances adopted or allowed by

parents and teachers to destroy the health of women and young girls.

CHAPTER XII.

EARLY RISING.

There is no practice which has been more extensively eulogized in all

ages than early rising; and this universal impression is an indication

that it is founded on true philosophy. For it is rarely the case that

the common sense of mankind fastens on a practice as really beneficial,

especially one that demands self-denial, without some substantial

reason.

This practice, which may justly be called a domestic virtue, is one

which has a peculiar claim to be styled American and democratic. The

distinctive mark of aristocratic nations is a disregard of the great

mass, and a disproportionate regard for the interests of certain

privileged orders. All the customs and habits of such a nation are, to

a greater or less extent, regulated by this principle. Now the mass

of any nation must always consist of persons who labor at occupations

which demand the light of day. But in aristocratic countries,

especially in England, labor is regarded as the mark of the lower

classes, and indolence is considered as one mark of a gentleman.

This impression has gradually and imperceptibly, to a great extent,

regulated their customs, so that, even in their hours of meals and

repose, the higher orders aim at being different and distinct from

those who, by laborious pursuits, are placed below them. From this

circumstance, while the lower orders labor by day and sleep at night,

the rich, the noble, and the honored sleep by day, and follow their

pursuits and pleasures by night.

It will be found that the aristocracy of London breakfast near midday,

dine after dark, visit and go to Parliament between ten and twelve at

night, and retire to sleep toward morning. In consequence of this, the

subordinate classes who aim at gentility gradually fall into the same

practice. The influence of this custom extends across the ocean, and

here, in this democratic land, we find many who measure their grade of

gentility by the late hour at which they arrive at a party. And this

aristocratic folly is growing upon us, so that throughout the nation

the hours for visiting and retiring are constantly becoming later,

while the hours for rising correspond in lateness.

The question, then, is one which appeals to American women as a matter

of patriotism, and as having a bearing on those great principles

of democracy which we conceive to be equally the principles of

Christianity. Shall we form our customs on the assumption that labor

is degrading and indolence genteel? Shall we assume, by our practice,

that the interests of the great mass are to be sacrificed for the

pleasures and honors of a privileged few? Shall we ape the customs

of aristocratic lands, in those very practices which result from

principles and institutions that we condemn? Shall we not rather

take the place to which we are entitled, as the leaders, rather than

the followers, in the customs of society, turn back the tide of

aristocratic inroads, and carry through the whole, not only of civil

and political but of social and domestic life, the true principles of

democratic freedom and equality? The following considerations may serve

to strengthen an affirmative decision:

The first relates to the health of a family. It is a universal law

of physiology, that all living things flourish best in the light.

Vegetables, in a dark cellar, grow pale and spindling. Children brought

up in mines are always wan and stunted, while men become pale and

cadaverous who live under ground. This indicates the folly of losing

the genial influence which the light of day produces on all animated

creation.

Sir James Wylie, of the Russian imperial service, states that in

the soldiers’ barracks three times as many were taken sick on the

shaded side as on the sunny side; though both sides communicated, and

discipline, diet, and treatment were the same. The eminent French

surgeon, Dupuytren, cured a lady, whose complicated diseases baffled

for years his own and all other medical skill, by taking her from a

dark room to an abundance of daylight.

Florence Nightingale writes: “Second only to fresh air in importance

for the sick is _light_. Not only daylight but direct sunlight is

necessary to speedy recovery, except in a small number of cases.

Instances, almost endless, could be given where, in dark wards, or

wards with only northern exposure, or wards with borrowed light, even

when properly ventilated, the sick could not be, by any means, made

speedily to recover.”

In the prevalence of cholera, it was invariably the case that deaths

were more numerous in shaded streets, or in houses having only northern

exposures, than in those having sunlight. Several physicians have

stated to the writer that, in sunny exposures, women after childbirth

gained strength much faster than those excluded from sunlight. In the

writer’s experience, great nervous debility has been always immediately

lessened by sitting in the sun, and still more by lying on the earth

and in open air, a blanket beneath, and head and eyes protected, under

the direct rays of the sun.

Some facts in physiology and natural philosophy have a bearing on this

subject. It seems to be settled that the red color of blood is owing

to iron contained in the red blood-cells, while it is established as a

fact that the sun’s rays are metallic, having “vapor of iron” as one

element. It is also true that want of light causes a diminution of the

red and an increase of the imperfect white blood-cells, and that this

sometimes results in a disease called _leucoemia_, while all who live

in the dark have pale and waxy skins, and flabby, weak muscles. Thus

it would seem that it is the sun that imparts the iron and color to

the blood. These things being so, the customs of society that bring

sleeping hours into daylight, and working and study hours into the

night, are direct violations of the laws of health. The laws of health

are the laws of God, and “sin is the transgression of law.”

To this we must add the great neglect of economy as well as health in

substituting unhealthful gas-light and poisonous, anthracite warmth,

for the life-giving light and warmth of the sun. Millions and millions

would be saved to this nation in fuel and light, as well as in health,

by returning to the good old ways of our forefathers, to rise with the

sun, and retire to rest “when the bell rings for nine o’clock.”

The observations of medical men, whose inquiries have been directed to

this point, have decided that from six to eight hours is the amount

of sleep demanded by persons in health. Some constitutions require as

much as eight, and others no more than six hours of repose. But eight

hours is the maximum for all persons in ordinary health, with ordinary

occupations. In cases of extra physical exertions, or the debility of

disease, or a decayed constitution, more than this is required. Let

eight hours, then, be regarded as the ordinary period required for

sleep by an industrious people like the Americans.

It thus appears that the laws of our political condition, the laws of

the natural world, and the constitution of our bodies, alike demand

that we rise with the light of day to prosecute our employments, and

that we retire in time for the requisite amount of sleep.

In regard to the effects of protracting the time spent in repose, many

extensive and satisfactory investigations have been made. It has been

shown that during sleep the body perspires most freely, while yet

neither food nor exercise are ministering to its wants. Of course,

if we continue our slumbers beyond the time required to restore the

body to its usual vigor, there is an unperceived undermining of the

constitution by this protracted and debilitating exhalation. This

process, in a course of years, renders the body delicate and less

able to withstand disease, and in the result shortens life. Sir John

Sinclair, who has written a large work on the Causes of Longevity,

states, as one result of his extensive investigations, that he has

never yet heard or read of a single case of great longevity where the

individual was not an early riser. He says that he has found cases in

which the individual has violated some one of all the other laws of

health, and yet lived to great age; but never a single instance in

which any constitution has withstood that undermining consequent on

protracting the hours of repose beyond the demands of the system.

Another reason for early rising is, that it is indispensable to a

systematic and well-regulated family. At whatever hour the parents

retire, children and domestics, wearied by play or labor, must retire

early. Children usually awake with the dawn of light and commence their

play, while domestics usually prefer the freshness of morning for their

labors. If, then, the parents rise at a late hour, they either induce a

habit of protracting sleep in their children and domestics, or else the

family are up, and at their pursuits, while their supervisors are in

bed.

Any woman who asserts that her children and domestics, in the first

hours of day, when their spirits are freshest, will be as well

regulated without her presence as with it, confesses that which surely

is little for her credit. It is believed that any candid woman,

whatever may be her excuse for late rising, will concede that if she

could rise early it would be for the advantage of her family. A late

breakfast puts back the work, through the whole day, for every member

of a family; and if the parents thus occasion the loss of an hour or

two to each individual, who, but for their delay in the morning, would

be usefully employed, they alone are responsible for all this waste of

time.

But the practice of early rising has a relation to the general

interests of the social community, as well as to that of each distinct

family. All that great portion of the community who are employed

in business and labor find it needful to rise early; and all their

hours of meals, and their appointments for business or pleasure,

must be accommodated to these arrangements. Now, if a small portion

of the community establish very different hours, it makes a kind of

jostling in all the concerns and interests of society. The various

appointments for the public, such as meetings, schools, and business

hours, must be accommodated to the mass, and not to individuals.

The few, then, who establish domestic habits at variance with the

majority, are either constantly interrupted in their own arrangements,

or else are interfering with the rights and interests of others. This

is exemplified in the case of schools. In families where late rising

is practiced, either hurry, irregularity, and neglect are engendered

in the family, or else the interests of the school, and thus of the

community, are sacrificed. In this and many other matters, it can be

shown that the well-being of the bulk of the people is, to a greater or

less extent, impaired by this self-indulgent practice. Let any teacher

select the unpunctual scholars—a class who most seriously interfere

with the interests of the school—and let men of business select those

who cause them most waste of time and vexation, by unpunctuality; and

it will be found that they are generally among the late risers, and

rarely among those who rise early. Thus, late rising not only injures

the person and family which indulge in it, but interferes with the

rights and convenience of the community; while early rising imparts

corresponding benefits of health, promptitude, vigor of action, economy

of time, and general effectiveness, both to the individuals who

practice it and to the families and community of which they are a part.

CHAPTER XIII.

DOMESTIC MANNERS.

Good manners are the expressions of benevolence in personal

intercourse, by which we endeavor to promote the comfort and enjoyment

of others, and to avoid all that gives needless uneasiness. It is the

exterior exhibition of the divine precept, which requires us to do to

others as we would that they should do to us. It is saying, by our

deportment, to all around, that we consider their feelings, tastes, and

conveniences, as equal in value to our own.

Good manners lead us to avoid all practices which offend the taste

of others; all unnecessary violations of the conventional rules of

propriety; all rude and disrespectful language and deportment; and all

remarks which would tend to wound the feelings of others.

There is a serious defect in the manners of the American people,

especially among the descendants of the Puritan settlers of New

England, which can never be efficiently remedied, except in the

domestic circle, and during early life. It is a deficiency in the free

expression of kindly feelings and sympathetic emotions, and a want of

courtesy in deportment. The causes which have led to this result may

easily be traced.

The forefathers of this nation, to a wide extent, were men who were

driven from their native land by laws and customs which they believed

to be opposed both to civil and religious freedom. The sufferings they

were called to endure, the subduing of those gentler feelings which

bind us to country, kindred, and home; and the constant subordination

of the passions to stern principle, induced characters of great

firmness and self-control. They gave up the comforts and refinements of

a civilized country, and came as pilgrims to a hard soil, a cold clime,

and a heathen shore. They were continually forced to encounter danger,

privation, sickness, loneliness, and death; and all these their

religion taught them to meet with calmness, fortitude, and submission.

And thus it became the custom and habit of the whole mass to repress

rather than to encourage the expression of feeling.

Persons who are called to constant and protracted suffering and

privation are forced to subdue and conceal emotion; for the free

expression of it would double their own suffering, and increase the

sufferings of others. Those only who are free from care and anxiety,

and whose minds are mainly occupied by cheerful emotions, are at full

liberty to unveil their feelings.

It was under such stern and rigorous discipline that the first children

in New-England were reared; and the manners and habits of parents are

usually to a great extent transmitted to children. Thus it comes to

pass that the descendants of the Puritans, now scattered over every

part of the nation, are predisposed to conceal the gentler emotions,

while their manners are calm, decided, and cold, rather than free

and impulsive. Of course, there are very many exceptions to these

predominating characteristics.

Other causes, to which we may attribute a general want of courtesy in

manners, are certain incidental results of our domestic institutions.

Our ancestors and their descendants have constantly been combating

the aristocratic principle, which would exalt one class of men at the

expense of another. They have had to contend with this principle,

not only in civil but in social life. Almost every American, in his

own person as well as in behalf of his class, has had to assume and

defend the main principle of democracy—that every man’s feelings and

interests are equal in value to those of every other man. But, in

doing this, there has been some want of clear discrimination. Because

claims based on distinctions of mere birth, fortune, or position were

found to be injurious, many have gone to the extreme of inferring that

all distinctions involving subordinations are useless. Such would

wrongfully regard children as equals to parents, pupils to teachers,

domestics to their employers, and subjects to magistrates—and that,

too, in all respects.

The fact that certain grades of superiority and subordination are

needful, both for individual and public benefit, has not been clearly

discerned; and there has been a gradual tendency to an extreme of

the opposite view which has sensibly affected our manners. All the

proprieties and courtesies which depend on the recognition of the

relative duties of superior and subordinate have been warred upon;

and thus we see, to an increasing extent, disrespectful treatment

of parents, by children; of teachers, by pupils; of employers, by

domestics; and of the aged, by the young. In all classes and circles

there is a gradual decay in courtesy of address.

In cases, too, where kindness is rendered, it is often accompanied with

a cold, unsympathizing manner, which greatly lessens its value; while

kindness or politeness is received in a similar style of coolness, as

if it were but the payment of a just due.

It is owing to these causes that the American people, especially the

descendants of the Puritans, do not do themselves justice. For, while

those who are near enough to learn their real character and feelings

can discern the most generous impulses and the most kindly sympathies,

they are often so veiled behind a composed and indifferent demeanor as

to be almost entirely concealed from strangers.

These defects in our national manners it especially falls to the care

of mothers, and all who have charge of the young, to rectify; and if

they seriously undertake the matter, and wisely adapt means to ends,

these defects will be remedied. With reference to this object, the

following ideas are suggested:

The law of Christianity and of democracy, which teaches that all men

are born equal in rights, and that their interests and feelings should

be regarded as of equal value, seems to be adopted in aristocratic

circles, with exclusive reference to the class in which the individual

moves. The courtly gentleman addresses all of his own class with

politeness and respect, and in all his actions seems to allow that the

feelings and convenience of these others are to be regarded the same as

his own. But his demeanor to those of inferior station is not based on

the same rule.

Among those who make up aristocratic circles, such as are above them

are deemed of superior, and such as are below of inferior, value. Thus,

if a young, ignorant, and vicious coxcomb happens to have been born a

lord, the aged, the virtuous, the learned, and the well-bred of another

class must give his convenience the precedence, and must address him

in terms of respect. So, sometimes, when a man of “noble birth” is

thrown among the lower classes, he demeans himself in a style which, to

persons of his own class, would be deemed the height of assumption and

rudeness.

Now, the principles of democracy require that the same courtesy which

we accord to our own circle shall be extended to every class and

condition; and that distinctions of superiority and subordination

shall depend, not on accidents of birth, fortune, or occupation, but

solely on those mutual relations which the good of all classes equally

require. The distinctions demanded in a democratic state are simply

those which result from relations that are common to every class, and

are for the benefit of all.

It is for the benefit of every class that children be subordinate to

parents, pupils to teachers, the employed to their employers, and

subjects to magistrates. In addition to this, it is for the general

well-being that the comfort or convenience of the delicate and feeble

should be preferred to that of the strong and healthy, who would suffer

less by any deprivation; that precedence should be given to their

elders by the young; and that reverence should be given to the hoary

head.

The rules of good-breeding, in a democratic state, must be founded on

these principles. It is indeed assumed that the value of the happiness

of each individual is the same as that of every other; but as there

must be occasions where there are advantages which all can not enjoy,

there must be general rules for regulating a selection. Otherwise,

there would be constant scrambling among those of equal claims, and

brute force must be the final resort; in which case the strongest would

have the best of every thing. The democratic rule, then, is, that

superiors in age, station, or office, have precedence of subordinates;

age and feebleness, of youth and strength; and the feebler sex, of

more vigorous man.[6]

[6] The universal practice of this nation, in thus giving precedence

to woman has been severely commented on by foreigners, and by some who

would transfer all the business of the other sex to women, and then

have them treated like men. But we hope this evidence of our superior

civilization and Christianity may increase rather than diminish.

There is, also, a style of deportment and address which is appropriate

to these different relations. It is suitable for a superior to

secure compliance with his wishes from those subordinate to him by

commands; but a subordinate must secure compliance with his wishes

from a superior by request. (Although the kind and considerate manner

to subordinates will always be found the most effective as well as

the pleasantest, by those in superior station.) It is suitable for a

parent, teacher, or employer, to admonish for neglect of duty; but

not for an inferior to adopt such a course toward a superior. It is

suitable for a superior to take precedence of a subordinate without

any remark; but not for an inferior without previously asking leave,

or offering an apology. It is proper for a superior to use language

and manners of freedom and familiarity which would be improper from a

subordinate to a superior.

The want of due regard to these proprieties occasions a great defect

in American manners. It is very common to hear children talk to their

parents in a style proper only between companions and equals; so, also,

the young address their elders; those employed, their employers; and

domestics, the members of the family and their visitors in a style

which is inappropriate to their relative positions. But courteous

address is required not merely toward superiors; every person desires

to be thus treated, and therefore the law of benevolence demands such

demeanor toward all whom we meet in the social intercourse of life.

“Be ye courteous,” is the direction of the apostle in reference to our

treatment of _all_.

Good manners can be successfully cultivated only in early life and

in the domestic circle. There is nothing which depends so much upon

_habit_ as the constantly recurring proprieties of good-breeding; and

if a child grows up without forming such habits, it is very rarely the

case that they can be formed at a later period. The feeling that it is

of little consequence how we behave at home if we conduct ourselves

properly abroad, is a very fallacious one. Persons who are careless and

ill-bred at home may imagine that they can assume good manners abroad;

but they mistake. Fixed habits of tone, manner, language, and movements

can not be suddenly altered; and those who are ill-bred at home, even

when they try to hide their bad habits, are sure to violate many of the

obvious rules of propriety, and yet be unconscious of it.

And there is nothing which would so effectually remove prejudice

against our democratic institutions as the general cultivation of

good-breeding in the domestic circle. Good manners are the exterior

of benevolence, the minute and constant exhibitions of “peace and

good-will;” and the nation, as well as the individual, which most

excels in the external demonstration, as well as the internal

principle, will be most respected and beloved.

It is only the training of the family state according to its true end

and aim that is to secure to woman her true position and rights. When

the family is instituted by marriage, it is man who is the head and

chief magistrate by the force of his physical power and requirement of

the chief responsibility; not less is he so according to the Christian

law, by which, when differences arise, the husband has the deciding

control, and the wife is to obey. Where love is, there is no law;” but

where love is not, the only dignified and peaceful course is for the

wife, however much the man’s superior, to “submit, as to God and not to

man.”

But this power of nature and of religion, given to man as the

controlling head, involves to him especially the distinctive duty of

the family state, _self-sacrificing love_. The husband is to “honor”

the wife, to love her as himself, and thus to account her wishes and

happiness as of equal value with his own. But more than this, he is to

love her “as Christ loved the Church;” that is, he is to “suffer” for

her, if need be, in order to support and elevate and ennoble her.

The father, then, is to set the example of self-sacrificing love and

devotion; and the mother, of Christian obedience, when it is required.

Every boy is to be trained for his future domestic position by labor

and sacrifices for his mother and sisters. It is the brother who is

to do the hardest and most disagreeable work, to face the storms, and

perform the most laborious drudgeries. In the family circle, too, he is

to give his mother and sister precedence in all the conveniences and

comforts of home life.

It is only in those nations where the teachings and example of Christ

have had most influence that man has ever assumed his obligations of

self-sacrificing benevolence in the family. And even in Christian

communities, the duty of wives to obey their husbands has been more

strenuously urged, than the obligations of the husband to love his wife

“as Christ loved the Church.”

Here it is needful to notice that the distinctive duty of obedience to

man does not rest on women who do not enter the relations of married

life. A woman who inherits property, or who earns her own livelihood,

can institute the family state, adopt orphan children, and employ

suitable helpers in training them; and then to her will appertain the

authority and rights that belong to man as the head of a family. And

when every woman is trained to some self-supporting business, she will

not be tempted to enter the family state as a subordinate, except by

that love for which there is no need of law.

These general principles being stated, some details in regard to

domestic manners will be enumerated.

In the first place, there should be required in the family a strict

attention to the rules of precedence, and those modes of address

appropriate to the various relations to be sustained. Children should

always be required to offer their superiors in age or station the

precedence in all comforts and conveniences, and always address them

in a respectful tone and manner. The custom of adding, “Sir,” or

“Ma’am,” to “Yes,” or “No,” is valuable, as a perpetual indication

of a respectful recognition of superiority. It is now going out of

fashion, even among the most well-bred people; probably from a want of

consideration of its importance. Every remnant of courtesy of address

in our customs should be carefully cherished by all who feel a value

for the proprieties of good-breeding.

If parents allow their children to talk to them, and to the grown

persons in the family, in the same style in which they address each

other, it will be in vain to hope for the courtesy of manner and tone

which good-breeding demands in the general intercourse of society. In

a large family, where the elder children are grown up and the younger

are small, it is important to require the latter to treat the elder in

some sense as superiors. There are none so ready as young children to

assume airs of equality; and if they are allowed to treat one class of

superiors in age and character disrespectfully, they will soon use the

privilege universally. This is the reason why the youngest children of

a family are most apt to be pert, forward, and unmannerly.

Another point to be aimed at is, to require children always to

acknowledge every act of kindness and attention, either by words

or manner. If they are so trained as always to make grateful

acknowledgments when receiving favors, one of the objectionable

features in American manners will be avoided.

Again, children should be required to ask leave, whenever they wish

to gratify curiosity, or use an article which belongs to another.

And if cases occur when they can not comply with the rules of

good-breeding—as, for instance, when they must step between a person

and the fire, or take the chair of an older person—they should be

taught either to ask leave or to offer an apology.

There is another point of good-breeding which can not, in all cases,

be understood and applied by children in its widest extent. It is

that which requires us to avoid all remarks which tend to embarrass,

vex, mortify, or in any way wound the feelings of another. To notice

personal defects; to allude to others’ faults, or the faults of

their friends; to speak disparagingly of the sect or party to which

a person belongs; to be inattentive when addressed in conversation;

to contradict flatly; to speak in contemptuous tones of opinions

expressed by another; all these are violations of the rules of

good-breeding, which children should be taught to regard. Under this

head comes the practice of whispering and staring about when a teacher,

or lecturer, or clergyman is addressing a class or audience. Such

inattention is practically saying that what the person is uttering

is not worth attending to; and persons of real good-breeding always

avoid it. Loud talking and laughing in a large assembly, even when

no exercises are going on; yawning and gaping in company; and not

looking in the face a person who is addressing you, are deemed marks of

ill-breeding.

Another branch of good manners relates to the duties of hospitality.

Politeness requires us to welcome visitors with cordiality; to offer

them the best accommodations; to address conversation to them; and to

express, by tone and manner, kindness and respect. Offering the hand to

all visitors at one’s own house is a courteous and hospitable custom;

and a cordial shake of the hand, when friends meet, would abate much of

the coldness of manner ascribed to Americans.

Another point of good-breeding refers to the conventional rules of

propriety and good taste. Of these, the first class relates to the

avoidance of all disgusting or offensive personal habits: such as

fingering the hair; obtrusively using a tooth-pick, or carrying one

in the mouth after the needful use of it; cleaning the nails in

presence of others; picking the nose; spitting on carpets; snuffing

instead of using a handkerchief, or using the article in an offensive

manner; lifting up the boots or shoes, as some men do, to tend them on

the knee, or to finger them: all these tricks, either at home or in

society, children should be taught to avoid.

Another topic, under this head, may be called _table manners_. To

persons of good-breeding nothing is more annoying than violations

of the conventional proprieties of the table. Reaching over another

person’s plate; standing up to reach distant articles, instead of

asking to have them passed; using one’s own knife and spoon for butter,

salt, or sugar, when it is the custom of the family to provide separate

utensils for the purpose; setting cups with the tea dripping from them

on the table-cloth, instead of the mats or small plates furnished;

using the table-cloth instead of the napkins; eating fast, and in a

noisy manner; putting large pieces in the mouth; looking and eating

as if very hungry, or as if anxious to get at certain dishes; sitting

at too great a distance from the table, and dropping food; laying the

knife and fork on the table-cloth, instead of on the edge of the plate;

picking the teeth at the table: all these particulars children should

be taught to avoid.

It is always desirable, too, to train children, when at table with

grown persons, to be silent, except when addressed by others; or else

their chattering will interrupt the conversation and comfort of their

elders. They should always be required, too, to wait in silence till

all the older persons are helped.

When children are alone with their parents, it is desirable to lead

them to converse and to take this as an opportunity to form proper

conversational habits. But it should be a fixed rule that, when

strangers are present, the children are to listen in silence, and only

reply when addressed. Unless this is secured, visitors will often be

condemned to listen to puerile chattering, with small chance of the

proper attention due to guests and superiors in age and station.

Children should be trained, in preparing themselves for the table or

for appearance among the family, not only to put their hair, face, and

hands in neat order, but also their nails, and to habitually attend to

this latter whenever they wash their hands.

There are some very disagreeable tricks which many children practice

even in families counted well-bred. Such, for example, are drumming

with the fingers on some piece of furniture, or humming a tune while

others are talking, or interrupting conversation by pertinacious

questions, or whistling in the house instead of outdoors, or speaking

several at once and in loud voices to gain attention. All these are

violations of good-breeding, which children should be trained to avoid,

lest they should not only annoy as children, but practice the same

kind of ill manners when mature. In all assemblies for public debate,

a chairman or moderator is appointed whose business it is to see that

only one person speaks at a time, that no one interrupts a person when

speaking, that no needless noises are made, and that all indecorums are

avoided. Such an officer is sometimes greatly needed in family circles.

Children should be encouraged freely to use lungs and limbs outdoors,

or in hours for sport in the house. But at other times, in the domestic

circle, gentle tones and manners should be cultivated. The words

_gentleman_ and _gentlewoman_ came originally from the fact that the

uncultivated and ignorant classes used coarse and loud tones, and rough

words and movements; while only the refined circles habitually used

gentle tones and gentle manners. For the same reason, those born in

the higher circles were called “of gentle blood.” Thus it came that a

coarse and loud voice, and rough, ungentle manners, are regarded as

vulgar and plebeian.

All these things should be taught to children gradually, and with

great patience and gentleness. Some parents, with whom good manners

are a great object, are in danger of making their children perpetually

uncomfortable, by suddenly surrounding them with so many rules that

they must inevitably violate some one or other a great part of the

time. It is much better to begin with a few rules, and be steady

and persevering with these till a habit is formed, and then take a

few more, thus making the process easy and gradual. Otherwise, the

temper of children will be injured; or, hopeless of fulfilling so many

requisitions, they will become reckless and indifferent to all.

If a few brief, well-considered, and sensible rules of good manners

could be suspended in every school-room, and the children all required

to commit them to memory, it probably would do more to remedy the

defects of American manners, and to advance universal good-breeding,

than any other mode that could be so easily adopted.

But, in reference to those who have enjoyed advantages for the

cultivation of good manners, and who duly estimate its importance,

one caution is necessary. Those who never have had such habits formed

in youth are under disadvantages which no benevolence of temper can

altogether remedy. They may often violate the tastes and feelings of

others, not from a want of proper regard for them, but from ignorance

of custom, or want of habit, or abstraction of mind, or from other

causes which demand forbearance and sympathy, rather than displeasure.

An ability to bear patiently with defects in manners, and to make

candid and considerate allowance for a want of advantages, or for

peculiarities in mental habits, is one mark of the benevolence of real

good-breeding.

The advocates of monarchical and aristocratic institutions have always

had great plausibility given to their views, by the seeming tendencies

of our institutions to insubordination and bad manners. And it has been

too indiscriminately conceded by the defenders of the latter that such

are these tendencies, and that the offensive points in American manners

are the necessary result of democratic principles.

But it is believed that both facts and reasoning are in opposition to

this opinion. The following extract from the work of De Tocqueville,

the great political philosopher of France, exhibits the opinion of an

impartial observer, when comparing American manners with those of the

English, who are confessedly the most aristocratic of all people.

He previously remarks on the tendency of aristocracy to make men more

sympathizing with persons of their own peculiar class, and less so

toward those of lower degree; and he then contrasts American manners

with the English, claiming that the Americans are much the more

affable, mild, and social. “In America, where the privileges of birth

never existed, and where riches confer no peculiar rights on their

possessors, men acquainted with each other are very ready to frequent

the same places, and find neither peril nor disadvantage in the free

interchange of their thoughts. If they meet by accident, they neither

seek nor avoid intercourse; their manner is therefore natural, frank,

and open.” “If their demeanor is often cold and serious, it is never

haughty nor constrained.” But an “aristocratic pride is still extremely

great among the English; and as the limits of aristocracy are still

ill-defined, every body lives in constant dread lest advantage should

be taken of his familiarity. Unable to judge at once of the social

position of those he meets, an Englishman prudently avoids all contact

with them. Men are afraid lest some slight service rendered should draw

them into an unsuitable acquaintance; they dread civilities, and they

avoid the obtrusive gratitude of a stranger as much as his hatred.”

Thus, _facts_ seem to show that when the most aristocratic nation in

the world is compared, as to manners, with the most democratic, the

judgment of strangers is in favor of the latter. And if good manners

are the outward exhibition of the democratic principle of impartial

benevolence and equal rights, surely the nation which adopts this

rule, both in social and civil life, is the most likely to secure the

desirable exterior. The aristocrat, by his principles, extends the

exterior of impartial benevolence to his own class only; the democratic

principle requires it to be extended _to all_.

There is reason, therefore, to hope and expect more refined and

polished manners in America than in any other land; while all the

developments of taste and refinement, such as poetry, music, painting,

sculpture, and architecture, it may be expected, will come to as high a

state of perfection here as in any other nation.

If this country increases in virtue and intelligence as it may, there

is no end to the wealth which will pour in as the result of our

resources of climate, soil, and navigation, and the skill, industry,

energy, and enterprise of our countrymen. This wealth, if used as

intelligence and virtue dictate, will furnish the means for a superior

education to all classes, and every facility for the refinement of

taste, intellect, and feeling.

Moreover, in this country, labor is ceasing to be the badge of a

lower class; so that already it is disreputable for a man to be “a

lazy gentleman.” And this feeling must increase, till there is such

an equalization of labor as will afford all the time needful for

every class to improve the many advantages offered to them. Already,

through the munificence of some of our citizens, there are literary

and scientific advantages offered to all classes, rarely enjoyed

elsewhere. In most of our large cities and towns the advantages of

education now offered to the poorest classes, often without charge,

surpass what, some years ago, most wealthy men could purchase for any

price; and it is believed that a time will come when the poorest boy

in America can secure advantages which will equal what the heir of the

proudest peerage can now command.

The records of the courts of France and Germany, (as detailed by the

Duchess of Orleans,) in and succeeding the brilliant reign of Louis

the Fourteenth—a period which was deemed the acme of elegance and

refinement—exhibit a grossness, a vulgarity, and a coarseness, not

to be found among the very lowest of our respectable poor. And the

biography of the English Beau Nash, who attempted to reform the manners

of the gentry in the times of Queen Anne, exhibits violations of the

rules of decency among the aristocracy which the commonest yeoman of

this land would feel disgraced in perpetrating.

This shows that our lowest classes, at this period, are more refined

than were the highest in aristocratic lands a hundred years ago; and

another century may show the lowest classes in wealth, in this country,

attaining as high a polish as adorns those who now are leaders of good

manners in the courts of kings.

CHAPTER XIV.

THE PRESERVATION OF GOOD TEMPER IN THE HOUSEKEEPER.

There is nothing which has a more abiding influence on the happiness of

a family than the preservation of equable and cheerful temper and tones

in the housekeeper. A woman who is habitually gentle, sympathizing,

forbearing, and cheerful, carries an atmosphere about her which imparts

a soothing and sustaining influence, and renders it easier for all to

do right, under her administration, than in any other situation.

The writer has known families where the mother’s presence seemed the

sunshine of the circle around her—imparting a cheering and vivifying

power, scarcely realized till it was withdrawn. Every one, without

thinking of it, or knowing why it was so, experienced a peaceful and

invigorating influence as soon as he entered the sphere illumined by

her smile and sustained by her cheering kindness and sympathy. On the

contrary, many a good housekeeper, (good in every respect but this,) by

wearing a countenance of anxiety and dissatisfaction, and by indulging

in the frequent use of sharp and reprehensive tones, more than destroys

all the comfort which otherwise would result from her system, neatness,

and economy.

There is a secret, social sympathy which every mind, to a greater or

less degree, experiences with the feelings of those around, as they are

manifested by the countenance and voice. A sorrowful, a discontented,

or an angry countenance produces a silent, sympathetic influence,

imparting a sombre shade to the mind, while tones of anger or complaint

still more effectually jar the spirits.

No person can maintain a quiet and cheerful frame of mind while tones

of discontent and displeasure are sounding on the ear. We may gradually

accustom ourselves to the evil till it is partially diminished; but

it always is an evil which greatly interferes with the enjoyment of

the family state. There are sometimes cases where the entrance of the

mistress of a family seems to awaken a slight apprehension in every

mind around, as if each felt in danger of a reproof, for something

either perpetrated or neglected. A woman who should go around her house

with a small stinging snapper, which she habitually applied to those

whom she met, would be encountered with feelings very much like those

which are experienced by the inmates of a family where the mistress

often uses her countenance and voice to inflict similar penalties for

duties neglected.

Yet there are many allowances to be made for housekeepers who sometimes

imperceptibly and unconsciously fall into such habits. A woman who

attempts to carry out any plans of system, order, and economy, and who

has her feelings and habits conformed to certain rules, is constantly

liable to have her plans crossed, and her taste violated, by the

inexperience or inattention of those about her. And no housekeeper,

whatever may be her habits, can escape the frequent recurrence of

negligence or mistake which interferes with her plans.

It is probable that there is no class of persons in the world who

have such incessant trials of temper, and temptations to be fretful,

as American housekeepers; for a housekeeper’s business is not, like

that of the other sex, limited to a particular department, for which

previous preparation is made. It consists of ten thousand little

disconnected items, which can never be so systematically arranged

that there is no daily jostling somewhere. And in the best-regulated

families it is not unfrequently the case that some act of forgetfulness

or carelessness from some member will disarrange the business of

the whole day, so that every hour will bring renewed occasion for

annoyance. And the more strongly a woman realizes the value of time,

and the importance of system and order, the more will she be tempted to

irritability and complaint.

The following considerations may aid in preparing a woman to meet such

daily crosses with even a cheerful temper and tones.

In the first place, a woman who has charge of a large household should

regard her duties as dignified, important, and difficult. The mind

is so made as to be elevated and cheered by a sense of far-reaching

influence and usefulness. A woman who feels that she is a cipher, and

that it makes little difference how she performs her duties, has far

less to sustain and invigorate her than one who truly estimates the

importance of her station. A man who feels that the destinies of a

nation are turning on the judgment and skill with which he plans and

executes, has a pressure of motive and an elevation of feeling which

are great safeguards against all that is low, trivial, and degrading.

So, an American mother and housekeeper who rightly estimates the long

train of influence which will pass down to thousands whose destinies,

from generation to generation, will be modified by those decisions

of her will which regulate the temper, principles, and habits of her

family, must be elevated above petty temptations which would otherwise

assail her.

Again, a housekeeper should feel that she really has great difficulties

to meet and overcome. A person who wrongly thinks there is little

danger, can never maintain so faithful a guard as one who rightly

estimates the temptations which beset her. Nor can one who thinks that

they are trifling difficulties which she has to encounter, and trivial

temptations to which she must yield, so much enjoy the just reward of

conscious virtue and self-control as one who takes an opposite view of

the subject.

A third method is, for a woman deliberately to calculate on having

her best-arranged plans interfered with very often, and to be in

such a state of preparation that the evil will not come unawares. So

complicated are the pursuits, and so diverse the habits of the various

members of a family, that it is almost impossible for every one to

avoid interfering with the plans and taste of a housekeeper in some one

point or another. It is, therefore, most wise for a woman to keep the

loins of her mind ever girt, to meet such collisions with a cheerful

and quiet spirit.

Another important rule is, to form all plans and arrangements in

consistency with the means at command, and the character of those

around. A woman who has a heedless husband, and young children, and

incompetent domestics, ought not to make such plans as one may properly

form who will not, in so many directions, meet embarrassment. She must

aim at just as much as she can probably attain, and no more; and thus

she will usually escape much temptation, and much of the irritation of

disappointment.

The fifth, and a very important consideration, is, that system,

economy, and neatness, are valuable only so far as they tend to promote

the comfort and well-being of those affected. Some women seem to act

under the impression that these advantages _must_ be secured, at all

events, even if the comfort of the family be the sacrifice. True, it

is very important that children grow up in habits of system, neatness,

and order; and it is very desirable that the mother give them every

incentive, both by precept and example; but it is still more important

that they grow up with amiable tempers, that they learn to meet the

crosses of life with patience and cheerfulness; and nothing has a

greater influence to secure this than a mother’s example. Whenever,

therefore, a woman can not accomplish her plans of neatness and order

without injury to her own temper or to the temper of others, she ought

to modify and reduce them until she can.

The sixth method relates to the government of the tones of voice. In

many cases, when a woman’s domestic arrangements are suddenly and

seriously crossed, it is impossible not to feel some irritation. But it

_is_ always possible to refrain from angry tones. A woman can resolve

that, whatever happens, she will not speak till she can do it in a

calm and gentle manner. _Perfect silence_ is a safe resort, when such

control can not be attained as enables a person to speak calmly; and

this determination, persevered in, will eventually be crowned with

success.

Many persons seem to imagine that tones of anger are needful, in

order to secure prompt obedience. But observation has convinced the

writer that they are _never_ necessary; that _in all cases_ reproof

administered in calm tones would be better. A case will be given in

illustration.

A young girl had been repeatedly charged to avoid a certain arrangement

in cooking. On one day, when company was invited to dine, the direction

was forgotten, and the consequence was an accident which disarranged

every thing, seriously injured the principal dish, and delayed dinner

for an hour. The mistress of the family entered the kitchen just as it

occurred, and at a glance saw the extent of the mischief. For a moment

her eyes flashed and her cheeks glowed; but she held her peace. After

a minute or so, she gave directions in a calm voice as to the best

mode of retrieving the evil, and then left, without a word said to the

offender.

After the company left, she sent for the girl, alone, and in a calm and

kind manner pointed out the aggravations of the case, and described

the trouble which had been caused to her husband, her visitors, and

herself. She then portrayed the future evils which would result from

such habits of neglect and inattention, and the modes of attempting to

overcome them; and then offered a reward for the future, if, in a given

time, she succeeded in improving in this respect. Not a tone of anger

was uttered; and yet the severest scolding of a practiced Xantippe

could not have secured such contrition, and determination to reform, as

were gained by this method.

But similar negligence is often visited by a continuous stream of

complaint and reproof, which, in most cases, is met either by sullen

silence or impertinent retort, while anger prevents any contrition or

any resolution of future amendment.

It is very certain that some ladies do carry forward a most efficient

government, both of children and domestics, without employing tones of

anger; and therefore they are not indispensable, nor on any account

desirable.

Though some ladies of intelligence and refinement do fall unconsciously

into such a practice, it is certainly very unlady-like, and in very bad

taste, to _scold_; and the further a woman departs from all approach to

it, the more perfectly she sustains her character as a lady.

Another method of securing equanimity amidst the trials of

domestic life is, to cultivate a habit of making allowances for the

difficulties, ignorance, or temptations of those who violate rule

or neglect duty. It is vain, and most unreasonable, to expect the

consideration and care of a mature mind in childhood and youth; or

that persons of such limited advantages as most domestics have enjoyed

should practice proper self-control, and possess proper habits and

principles.

Every parent and every employer needs daily to cultivate the spirit

expressed in the divine prayer, “Forgive us our trespasses as we

forgive those who trespass against us.” The same allowances and

forbearance which we supplicate from our Heavenly Father, and desire

from our fellow-men in reference to our own deficiencies, we should

constantly aim to extend to all who cross our feelings and interfere

with our plans.

The last and most important mode of securing a placid and cheerful

temper and tones is, by a constant belief in the influence of a

superintending Providence. All persons are too much in the habit of

regarding the more important events of life exclusively as under the

control of Perfect Wisdom; but the fall of a sparrow, or the loss of

a hair, they do not feel to be equally the result of his directing

agency. In consequence of this, Christian persons who aim at perfect

and cheerful submission to heavy afflictions, and who succeed to the

edification of all about them, are sometimes sadly deficient under

petty crosses. If a beloved child be laid in the grave, even if its

death resulted from the carelessness of a domestic or of a physician,

the eye is turned from the subordinate agent to the Supreme Guardian of

all; and to him they bow, without murmur or complaint. But if a pudding

be burned, or a room badly swept, or an errand forgotten, then vexation

and complaint are allowed, just as if these events were not appointed

by Perfect Wisdom as much as the sorer chastisement.

A woman, therefore, needs to cultivate the _habitual_ feeling that

all the events of her nursery and kitchen are brought about by the

permission of our Heavenly Father; and that fretfulness or complaint

in regard to these is, in fact, complaining at the appointments of

God, and is really as sinful as unsubmissive murmurs amidst the sorer

chastisements of his hand. And a woman who cultivates this habit of

referring all the minor trials of life to the wise and benevolent

agency of a heavenly Parent, and daily seeks his sympathy and aid to

enable her to meet them with a quiet and cheerful spirit, will soon

find it the perennial spring of abiding peace and content.

The power of religion to impart dignity and importance to the ordinary

and seemingly petty details of domestic life greatly depends upon the

degree of faith in the reality of a life to come, and of its eternal

results. A woman who is training a family simply with reference to

this life may find exalted motives as she looks forward to unborn

generations, whose temporal prosperity and happiness are depending upon

her fidelity and skill. But one who truly and firmly believes that this

life is but the beginning of an eternal career to every immortal inmate

of her home, and that the formation of tastes, habits, and character,

under her care, will bring forth fruits of good or ill, not only

through earthly generations, but through everlasting ages—such a woman

secures a calm and exalted principle of action, and a source of peace

which no earthly motives can impart.

CHAPTER XV.

HABITS OF SYSTEM AND ORDER.

Any discussion of the equality of the sexes as to intellectual capacity

seems frivolous and useless, both because it can never be decided,

and because there would be no possible advantage in the decision. But

one topic, which is often drawn into this discussion, is of far more

consequence; and that is, the relative importance and difficulty of the

duties a woman is called to perform.

It is generally assumed, and almost as generally conceded, that a

housekeeper’s business and cares are contracted and trivial; and that

the proper discharge of her duties demands far less expansion of mind

and vigor of intellect than the pursuits of the other sex. This idea

has prevailed because women, as a mass, have never been educated with

reference to their most important duties; while that portion of their

employments which is of least value has been regarded as the chief,

if not the sole, concern of a woman. The covering of the body, the

convenience of residences, and the gratification of the appetite, have

been too much regarded as the chief objects on which her intellectual

powers are to be exercised.

But as society gradually shakes off the remnants of barbarism and the

intellectual and moral interests of man rise, in estimation, above the

merely sensual, a truer estimate is formed of woman’s duties, and of

the measure of intellect requisite for the proper discharge of them.

Let any man of sense and discernment become the member of a large

household, in which a well-educated and pious woman is endeavoring

systematically to discharge her multiform duties; let him fully

comprehend all her cares, difficulties, and perplexities; and it is

probable he would coincide in the opinion that no statesman at the head

of a nation’s affairs had more frequent calls for wisdom, firmness,

tact, discrimination, prudence, and versatility of talent, than such a

woman.

She has a husband, to whose peculiar tastes and habits she must

accommodate herself; she has children, whose health she must guard,

whose physical constitutions she must study and develop, whose temper

and habits she must regulate, whose principles she must form, whose

pursuits she must guide. She has constantly changing domestics, with

all varieties of temper and habits, whom she must govern, instruct, and

direct; she is required to regulate the finances of the domestic state,

and constantly to adapt expenditures to the means and to the relative

claims of each department. She has the direction of the kitchen, where

ignorance, forgetfulness, and awkwardness, are to be so regulated that

the various operations shall each start at the right time, and all be

in completeness at the same given hour. She has the claims of society

to meet, visits to receive and return, and the duties of hospitality to

sustain. She has the poor to relieve; benevolent societies to aid; the

schools of her children to inquire and decide about; the care of the

sick and the aged; the nursing of infancy; and the endless miscellany

of odd items constantly recurring in a large family.

Surely it is a pernicious and mistaken idea that the duties which

tax a woman’s mind are petty, trivial, or unworthy of the highest

grade of intellect and moral worth. Instead of allowing this feeling,

every woman should imbibe, from early youth, the impression that she

is in training for the discharge of the most important, the most

difficult, and the most sacred and interesting duties that can possibly

employ the highest intellect. She ought to feel that her station and

responsibilities in the great drama of life are second to none, either

as viewed by her Maker or in the estimation of all minds whose judgment

is most worthy of respect.

She who is the mother and housekeeper in a large family is the

sovereign of an empire, demanding more varied cares, and involving more

difficult duties, than are really exacted of her who wears a crown and

professedly regulates the interests of the greatest nation on earth.

There is no one thing more necessary to a housekeeper, in performing

her varied duties, than _a habit of system and order_; and yet

the peculiarly desultory nature of women’s pursuits, and the

embarrassments resulting from the state of domestic service in this

country, render it very difficult to form such a habit. But it is

sometimes the case that women who could and would carry forward a

systematic plan of domestic economy do not attempt it, simply from a

want of knowledge of the various modes of introducing it. It is with

reference to such that various modes of securing system and order,

which the writer has seen adopted, will be pointed out.

A wise economy is nowhere more conspicuous than in a systematic

_apportionment of time_ to different pursuits. There are duties of

a religious, intellectual, social, and domestic nature, each having

different relative claims on attention. Unless a person has some

general plan of apportioning these claims, some will intrench on

others, and some, it is probable, will be entirely excluded. Thus some

find religious, social, and domestic duties so numerous, that no time

is given to intellectual improvement. Others find either social, or

benevolent, or religious interests excluded by the extent and variety

of other engagements.

It is wise, therefore, for all persons to devise a systematic plan

which they will at least keep in view and aim to accomplish, and by

which a proper proportion of time shall be secured for all the duties

of life.

In forming such a plan, every woman must accommodate herself to the

peculiarities of her situation. If she has a large family and a small

income, she must devote far more time to the simple duty of providing

food and raiment than would be right were she in affluence, and with

a small family. It is impossible, therefore, to draw out any general

plan which all can adopt. But there are some _general principles_,

which ought to be the guiding rules, when a woman arranges her domestic

employments. These principles are to be based on Christianity, which

teaches us to “seek first the kingdom of God,” and to deem food,

raiment, and the conveniences of life as of secondary account. Every

woman, then, ought to start with the assumption that the moral and

religious interests of her family are of more consequence than any

worldly concern, and that, whatever else may be sacrificed, these

shall be the leading object, in all her arrangements, in respect to

time, money, and attention.

It is also one of the plainest requisitions of Christianity, that we

devote some of our time and efforts to the comfort and improvement

of others. There is no duty so constantly enforced, both in the Old

and New Testament, as that of charity, in dispensing to those who are

destitute of the blessings we enjoy. In selecting objects of charity,

the same rule applies to others as to ourselves; their moral and

religious interests are of the highest moment, and for them, as well as

for ourselves, we are to “seek first the kingdom of God.”

Another general principle is, that our intellectual and social

interests are to be preferred to the mere gratification of taste

or appetite. A portion of time, therefore, must be devoted to the

cultivation of the intellect and the social affections.

Another is, that the mere gratification of appetite is to be placed

last in our estimate; so that when a question arises as to which shall

be sacrificed, some intellectual, moral, or social advantage, or some

gratification of sense, we should invariably sacrifice the last.

As health is indispensable to the discharge of every duty, nothing

which sacrifices that blessing is to be allowed in order to gain any

other advantage or enjoyment. There are emergencies when it is right

to risk health and life to save ourselves and others from greater

evils; but these are exceptions, which do not militate against the

general rule. Many persons imagine that if they violate the laws of

health in order to attend to religious or domestic duties, they are

guiltless before God. But such greatly mistake. We directly violate

the law, “Thou shalt not kill,” when we do what tends to risk or

shorten our own life. The life and happiness of all his creatures are

dear to our Creator; and he is as much displeased when we injure our

own interests as when we injure those of others. The idea, therefore,

that we are excusable if we harm no one but ourselves, is false and

pernicious. These, then, are some general principles to guide a woman

in systematizing her duties and pursuits.

The Creator of all things is a Being of perfect system and order; and,

to aid us in our duty in this respect, he has divided our time by a

regularly returning day of rest from worldly business. In following

this example, the intervening six days may be subdivided to secure

similar benefits. In doing this, a certain portion of time must be

given to procure the means of livelihood, and for preparing food,

raiment, and dwellings. To these objects some must devote more, and

others less, attention. The remainder of time not necessarily thus

employed might be divided somewhat in this manner: The leisure of two

afternoons and evenings could be devoted to religious and benevolent

objects, such as religious meetings, charitable associations, school

visiting, and attention to the sick and poor. The leisure of two other

days might be devoted to intellectual improvement and the pursuits

of taste. The leisure of another day might be devoted to social

enjoyments, in making or receiving visits; and that of another, to

miscellaneous domestic pursuits, not included in the other particulars.

It is probable that few persons could carry out such an arrangement

very strictly; but every one can make a systematic apportionment of

time, and at least _aim_ at accomplishing it; and they can also compare

with such a general outline the time which they actually devote to

these different objects, for the purpose of modifying any mistaken

proportions.

Without attempting any such systematic employment of time, and carrying

it out, so far as they can control circumstances, most women are rather

driven along by the daily occurrences of life; so that, instead of

being the intelligent regulators of their own time, they are the mere

sport of circumstances. There is nothing which so distinctly marks the

difference between wreak and strong minds as the question whether they

control circumstances or circumstances control them.

It is very much to be feared that the apportionment of time actually

made by most women exactly inverts the order required by reason and

Christianity. Thus the furnishing a needless variety of food, the

conveniences of dwellings, and the adornments of dress, often take a

larger portion of time than is given to any other object. Next after

this comes intellectual improvement; and last of all, benevolence and

religion.

It may be urged that it is indispensable for most persons to give more

time to earn a livelihood, and to prepare food, raiment, and dwellings,

than to any other object. But it may be asked, how much of the time

devoted to these objects is employed in preparing varieties of food

not necessary, but rather injurious, and how much is spent for those

parts of dress and furniture not indispensable, and merely ornamental?

Let a woman subtract from her domestic employments all the time given

to pursuits which are of no use, except as they gratify a taste for

ornament, or minister increased varieties to tempt the appetite, and

she will find that much which she calls “domestic duty,” and which

prevents her attention to intellectual, benevolent, and religious

objects, should be called by a very different name.

No woman has a right to give up attention to the higher interests of

herself and others for the ornaments of person or the gratification

of the palate. To a certain extent, these lower objects are lawful

and desirable; but when they intrude on nobler interests, they become

selfish and degrading. Every woman, then, when employing her hands in

ornamenting her person, her children, or her house, ought to calculate

whether she has devoted _as much_ time to the really more important

wants of herself and others. If she has not, she may know that she is

doing wrong, and that her system or apportioning her time and pursuits

should be altered.

Some persons endeavor to systematize their pursuits by apportioning

them to particular hours of each day. For example, a certain period

before breakfast is given to devotional duties; after breakfast,

certain hours are devoted to exercise and domestic employments; other

hours, to sewing, or reading, or visiting; and others, to benevolent

duties. But in most cases it is more difficult to systematize the hours

of each day than it is to secure some regular division of the week.

In regard to the minutiæ of family work, the writer has known the

following methods to be adopted. Monday, with some of the best

housekeepers, is devoted to preparing for the labors of the week.

Any extra cooking, the purchasing of articles to be used during the

week, the assorting of clothes for the wash, and mending such as would

otherwise be injured—these, and similar items, belong to this day.

Tuesday is devoted to washing, and Wednesday to ironing. On Thursday,

the ironing is finished off, the clothes are folded and put away,

and all articles which need mending are put in the mending-basket

and attended to. Friday is devoted to sweeping and house-cleaning.

On Saturday, and especially the last Saturday of every month, every

department is put in order; the casters and table furniture are

regulated, the pantry and cellar inspected, the trunks, drawers, and

closets arranged, and every thing about the house put in order for

Sunday. By this regular recurrence of a particular time for inspecting

every thing, nothing is forgotten till ruined by neglect.

Another mode of systematizing relates to providing proper supplies

of conveniences, and proper places in which to keep them. Thus, some

ladies keep a large closet, in which are placed the tubs, pails,

dippers, soap-dishes, starch, bluing, clothes-lines, clothes-pins,

and every other article used in washing; and in the same, or another

place, is kept every convenience for ironing. In the sewing department,

a trunk, with suitable partitions, is provided, in which are placed,

each in its proper place, white thread of all sizes, colored thread,

yarns for mending, colored and black sewing-silks and twist, tapes and

bobbins of all sizes, white and colored welting-cords, silk braids and

cords, needles of all sizes, papers of pins, remnants of linen and

colored cambric, a supply of all kinds of buttons used in the family,

black and white hooks and eyes, a yard-measure, and all the patterns

used in cutting and fitting. These are done up in separate parcels,

and labeled. In another trunk, or in a piece-bag, such as has been

previously described, are kept all pieces used in mending, arranged

in order. A trunk like the first mentioned will save many steps, and

often much time and perplexity; while by purchasing articles thus by

the quantity, they come much cheaper than if bought in little portions

as they are wanted. Such a trunk should be kept locked, and a smaller

supply for current use retained in a work-basket.

A full supply of all conveniences in the kitchen and cellar, and a

place appointed for each article, very much facilitate domestic labor.

For want of this, much vexation and loss of time is occasioned while

seeking vessels in use, or in cleansing those employed by different

persons for various purposes. It would be far better for a lady to

give up some expensive article in the parlor, and apply the money thus

saved for kitchen conveniences, than to have a stinted supply where the

most labor is to be performed. If our countrywomen would devote more

attention to comfort and convenience, and less to show, it would be a

great improvement. Expensive mirrors and pier-tables in the parlor, and

an unpainted, gloomy, ill-furnished kitchen, not unfrequently are found

under the same roof.

Another important item in systematic economy is, the apportioning

of _regular_ employment to the various members of a family. If a

housekeeper can secure the co-operation of _all_ her family, she will

find that “many hands make light work.” There is no greater mistake

than in bringing up children to feel that they must be taken care of

and waited on by others, without any corresponding obligations on their

part. The extent to which young children can be made useful in a family

would seem surprising to those who have never seen a _systematic_ and

_regular_ plan for utilizing their services. The writer has been in a

family where a little girl of eight or nine years of age washed and

dressed herself and young brother, and made their small beds, before

breakfast; set and cleared all the tables for meals, with a little help

from a grown person in moving tables and spreading cloths; while all

the dusting of parlors and chambers was also neatly performed by her.

A brother of ten years old brought in and piled all the wood used in

the kitchen and parlor, brushed the boots and shoes, went on errands,

and took all the care of the poultry. They were children whose parents

could afford to hire servants to do this, but who chose to have their

children grow up healthy and industrious, while proper instruction,

system, and encouragement, made these services rather a pleasure than

otherwise to the children.

Some parents pay their children for such services; but this is

hazardous, as tending to make them feel that they are not bound to

be helpful without pay, and also as tending to produce a hoarding,

money-making spirit. But where children have no hoarding propensities,

and need to acquire a sense of the value of property, it may be well

to let them earn money for some extra services rather as a favor. When

this is done, they should be taught to spend it for others as well as

for themselves; and in this way a generous and liberal spirit will be

cultivated.

There are some mothers who take pains to teach their boys most of the

domestic arts which their sisters learn. The writer has seen boys

mending their own garments, and aiding their mother or sisters in the

kitchen, with great skill and adroitness; and at an early age they

usually very much relish joining in such occupations. The sons of such

mothers, in their college life, or in roaming about the world, or in

nursing a sick wife or infant, find occasion to bless the forethought

and kindness which prepared them for such emergencies. Few things are

in worse taste than for a man needlessly to busy himself in women’s

work; and yet a man never appears in a more interesting attitude than

when, by skill in such matters, he can save a mother or wife from care

and suffering. The more a boy is taught to use his hands in every

variety of domestic employment, the more his faculties, both of mind

and body, are developed; for mechanical pursuits exercise the intellect

as well as the hands. The early training of New-England boys, in which

they turn their hand to almost every thing, is one great reason of the

quick perceptions, versatility of mind, and mechanical skill, for which

that portion of our countrymen is distinguished.

It is equally important that young girls should be taught to do some

species of handicraft that generally is done by men, and especially

with reference to the frequent emigration to new territories where

well-trained mechanics are scarce. To hang wall-paper, repair locks,

glaze windows, and mend various household articles, require a skill

in the use of tools which every young girl should acquire. If she

never has any occasion to apply this knowledge and skill by her own

hands, she will often find it needful in directing and superintending

incompetent workmen.

The writer has known one mode of systematizing the aid of the older

children in a family, which, in some cases of very large families,

it may be well to imitate. In the case referred to, when the oldest

daughter was eight or nine years old, an infant sister was given to

her as her special charge. She tended it, made and mended its clothes,

taught it to read, and was its nurse and guardian through all its

childhood. Another infant was given to the next daughter, and thus the

children were all paired in this interesting relation. In addition to

the relief thus afforded to the mother, the elder children were in

this way qualified for their future domestic relations, and both older

and younger bound to each other by peculiar ties of tenderness and

gratitude.

In offering these examples of various modes of systematizing, one

suggestion may be worthy of attention. It is not unfrequently the

case that ladies who find themselves cumbered with oppressive cares,

after reading remarks on the benefits of system, immediately commence

the task of arranging their pursuits with great vigor and hope. They

divide the day into regular periods, and give each hour its duty;

they systematize their work, and endeavor to bring every thing into

a regular routine. But in a short time they find themselves baffled,

discouraged, and disheartened, and finally relapse into their former

desultory ways, in a sort of resigned despair.

The difficulty in such cases is, that they attempt too much at a time.

There is nothing which so much depends upon _habit_ as a systematic

mode of performing duty; and where no such habit has been formed, it

is impossible for a novice to start at once into a universal mode of

systematizing, which none but an adept could carry through. The only

way for such persons is to begin with a little at a time. Let them

select some three or four things, and resolutely attempt to conquer at

these points. In time, a habit will be formed of doing a few things at

regular periods, and in a systematic way. Then it will be easy to add

a few more; and thus, by a gradual process, the object can be secured,

which would be vain to attempt by a more summary course.

Early rising is almost an indispensable condition to success in such

an effort; but where a woman lacks either the health or the energy to

secure a period for devotional duties before breakfast, let her select

that hour of the day in which she will be least liable to interruption,

and let her then seek strength and wisdom from the only true Source.

At this time let her take a pen, and make a list of all the things

which she considers as duties. Then let calculation be made whether

there be time enough, in the day or the week, for all these duties. If

there be not, let the least important be stricken from the list, as not

being duties, and therefore to be omitted. In doing this, let a woman

remember that, though “what we shall eat, and what we shall drink, and

wherewithal we shall be clothed,” are matters requiring due attention,

they are very apt to obtain a wrong relative importance, while

intellectual, social, and moral interests receive too little regard.

In this country, eating, dressing, and household furniture and

ornaments, take far too large a place in the estimate of relative

importance; and it is probable that most women could modify their views

and practice so as to come nearer to the Saviour’s requirements. No

woman has a right to put a stitch of ornament on any article of dress

or furniture, or to provide one superfluity in food, until she is sure

she can secure time for all her social, intellectual, benevolent, and

religious duties. If a woman will take the trouble to make such a

calculation as this, she will usually find that she has time enough to

perform all her duties easily and well.

It is impossible for a conscientious woman to secure that peaceful mind

and cheerful enjoyment of life which all should seek, who is constantly

finding her duties jarring with each other, and much remaining undone

which she feels that she ought to do. In consequence of this, there

will be a secret uneasiness which will throw a shade over the whole

current of life, never to be removed till she so efficiently defines

and regulates her duties that she can fulfill them all.

And here the writer would urge upon young ladies the importance of

forming habits of system while unembarrassed with those multiplied

cares which will make the task so much more difficult and hopeless.

Every young lady can systematize her pursuits, to a certain extent. She

can have a particular day for mending her wardrobe, and for arranging

her trunks, closets, and drawers. She can keep her work-basket, her

desk at school, and all her other conveniences, in their proper places

and in regular order. She can have regular periods for reading,

walking, visiting, study, and domestic pursuits. And by following this

method in youth, she will form a taste for regularity and a habit of

system which will prove a blessing to her through life.

CHAPTER XVI.

HEALTH OF MIND.

There is such an intimate connection between the body and mind, that

the health of one can not be preserved without a proper care of the

other. And it is from a neglect of this principle that some of the most

exemplary and conscientious persons in the world suffer a thousand

mental agonies from a diseased state of body, while others ruin the

health of the body by neglecting the proper care of the mind.

When the mind is excited by earnest intellectual effort, or by strong

passions, the blood rushes to the head and the brain is excited. Sir

Astley Cooper records that, in examining the brain of a young man who

had lost a portion of his skull, whenever “he was agitated by some

opposition to his wishes,” “the blood was sent with increased force

to his brain,” and the pulsations “became frequent and violent.” The

same effect was produced by any intellectual effort; and the flushed

countenance which attends earnest study or strong emotions of interest

of any kind, is an external indication of the suffused state of the

brain from such causes.

In exhibiting the causes which injure the health of the mind, we shall

find them to be partly physical, partly intellectual, and partly moral.

The first cause of mental disease and suffering is not unfrequently in

the want of a proper supply of duly oxygenized blood. It has been shown

that the blood, in passing through the lungs, is purified by the oxygen

of the air combining with the superabundant hydrogen and carbon of the

venous blood, thus forming carbonic acid and water, which are expired

into the atmosphere. Every pair of lungs is constantly withdrawing from

the surrounding atmosphere its healthful principle, and returning one

which is injurious to human life.

When, by confinement and this process, the air is deprived of its

appropriate supply of oxygen, the purification of the blood is

interrupted, and it passes, without being properly prepared, into the

brain, producing languor, restlessness, and inability to exercise

the intellect and feelings. Whenever, therefore, persons sleep in

a close apartment, or remain for a length of time in a crowded or

ill-ventilated room, a most pernicious influence is exerted on the

brain, and, through this, on the mind. A person who is often exposed

to such influences can never enjoy that elasticity and vigor of mind

which is one of the chief indications of its health. This is the reason

why all rooms for religious meetings, and all school-rooms and sleeping

apartments, should be so contrived as to secure a constant supply

of fresh air from without. The minister who preaches in a crowded

and ill-ventilated apartment loses much of his power to feel and to

speak, while the audience are equally reduced in their capability of

attending. The teacher who confines children in a close apartment

diminishes their ability to study, or to attend to instructions. And

the person who habitually sleeps in a close room impairs mental energy

in a similar degree. It is not unfrequently the case that depression of

spirits and stupor of intellect are occasioned solely by inattention to

this subject.

Another cause of mental disease is the excessive exercise of the

intellect or feelings. If the eye is taxed beyond its strength by

protracted use, its blood-vessels become gorged, and the bloodshot

appearance warns of the excess and the need of rest. The brain is

affected in a similar manner by excessive use, though the suffering

and inflamed organ can not make its appeal to the eye. But there are

some indications which ought never to be misunderstood or disregarded.

In cases of pupils at school or at college, a diseased state, from

overaction, is often manifested by increased clearness of mind, and

temporary ease and vigor of mental action. In one instance, known to

the writer, a most exemplary and industrious pupil, anxious to improve

every hour, and ignorant or unmindful of the laws of health, first

manifested the diseased state of her brain and mind by demands for

more studies, and a sudden and earnest activity in planning modes of

improvement for herself and others. When warned of her danger, she

protested that she never was better in her life; that she took regular

exercise in the open air, went to bed in season, slept soundly, and

felt perfectly well; that her mind was never before so bright and

clear, and study never so easy and delightful. And at this time she was

on the verge of derangement, from which she was saved only by an entire

cessation of all intellectual efforts.

A similar case occurred, under the eye of the writer, from overexcited

feelings. It was during a time of unusual religious interest in the

community, and the mental disease was first manifested by the pupil

bringing her hymn-book or Bible to the class-room, and making it her

constant resort in every interval of school duty. It finally became

impossible to convince her that it was her duty to attend to any

thing else; her conscience became morbidly sensitive, her perceptions

indistinct, her deductions unreasonable; and nothing but entire change

of scene and exercise, and occupation of her mind by amusement, saved

her. When the health of the brain was restored, she found that she

could attend to the “one thing needful,” not only without interruption

of duty or injury to health, but rather so as to promote both.

Clergymen and teachers need most carefully to notice and guard against

the dangers here alluded to.

Any such attention to religion as prevents the performance of daily

duties and needful relaxation is dangerous, and tends to produce such a

state of the brain as makes it impossible to feel or judge correctly.

And when any morbid and unreasonable pertinacity appears, much exercise

and engagement in other interesting pursuits should be urged, as the

only mode of securing the religious benefits aimed at. And whenever

any mind is oppressed with care, anxiety, or sorrow, the amount of

active exercise in the fresh air should be greatly increased, that the

action of the muscles may withdraw the blood which, in such seasons, is

constantly tending too much to the brain. At the same time, innocent

and healthful amusement should be urged as a duty.

There has been a most appalling amount of suffering, derangement,

disease, and death, occasioned by a want of attention to this subject,

in teachers and parents. Uncommon precocity in children is usually the

result of an unhealthy state of the brain; and in such cases medical

men would now direct that the wonderful child should be deprived of

all books and study, and turned to play out in the fresh air. Instead

of this, parents frequently add fuel to the fever of the brain, by

supplying constant mental stimulus, until the victim finds refuge in

idiocy or an early grave. Where such fatal results do not occur, the

brain in many cases is so weakened that the prodigy of infancy sinks

below the medium of intellectual powers in after-life.

In our colleges, too, many of the most promising minds sink to an early

grave, or drag out a miserable existence, from this same cause. And it

is an evil as yet little alleviated by the increase of physiological

knowledge. Every college and professional school, and every seminary

for young ladies, needs a medical man or woman, not only to lecture

on physiology and the laws of health, but empowered by official

capacity to investigate the case of every pupil, and, by authority, to

enforce such a course of study, exercise, and repose as the physical

system requires. The writer has found by experience that in a large

institution there is one class of pupils who need to be restrained by

penalties from late hours and excessive study, as much as another class

need stimulus to industry.

Under the head of excessive mental action must be placed the indulgence

of the imagination in novel-reading and “castle-building.” This kind of

stimulus, unless counter-balanced by physical exercise, not only wastes

time and energies, but undermines the vigor of the nervous system. The

imagination was designed by our wise Creator as a charm and stimulus to

animate to benevolent activity, and its perverted exercise seldom fails

to bring a penalty.

Another cause of mental disease is the want of the appropriate exercise

of the various faculties of the mind. On this point Dr. Combe remarks:

“We have seen that, by disuse, muscles become emaciated, bone softens,

blood-vessels are obliterated, and nerves lose their characteristic

structure. The brain is no exception to this general rule. The tone of

it is also impaired by permanent inactivity, and it becomes less fit

to manifest the mental powers with readiness and energy.” It is “the

withdrawal of the stimulus necessary for its healthy exercise which

renders solitary confinement so severe a punishment, even to the most

daring minds. It is a lower degree of the same cause which renders

continuous seclusion from society so injurious to both mental and

bodily health.”