and shot it off, and it made a dreadful loud pop, and the big Ragged
Rabbit said, "Oh, my! Was that a cannon?"
And then he laughed so loud that he broke a window pane and had to
telephone right away to the plumber to have one put in.
"That's my pop-gun, Mr. Giant," said Billy Bunny, "and if you try to
hurt me I'll shoot you." And then the Ragged Giant Rabbit laughed
again, and this time the picture of his grandfather fell down and made
a big dent in the floor.
"If you don't stop laughing," said the little rabbit, "you'll deafen
me. Please only giggle." So the Giant Rabbit grew very polite indeed
and only smiled, and then of course nothing was broken.
"Tell me who you are and where you are going and what time it is," he
said, "and then I'll give you something to eat."
But before the little rabbit could reply a loud knocking came at the
door, and so you'll have to wait to hear who was there until to-morrow,
for I've no more room in this story.
STORY XIX.
BILLY BUNNY AND TAILOR BIRD.
You remember in the last story somebody was knocking at the door of
the Ragged Rabbit's castle, don't you? The Giant Rabbit, who always
wore torn and tattered clothes because he had no wife to mend them and
wouldn't pay his tailor's bills?
Well, who do you suppose was on the other side of that door? Just wait
until the Giant Rabbit opens it and you shall see. Now open your eyes,
if you have shut them, and see Uncle Lucky, as sure as I am writing
this story and you are reading it.
Yes, sir. There stood the dear old gentleman rabbit, and oh, dear me,
didn't he look worried? I suppose he thought he'd find Billy Bunny
inside the giant. But when he saw Billy Bunny standing there, safe and
sound and happy, with his popgun in his hand and a smile on his face,
he began to laugh.
"Whew!" exclaimed the old gentleman rabbit, greatly relieved, which
means to feel much better. "I'm glad to see you, my dear nephew. And
also to make your acquaintance, Mr. Ragged Rabbit Giant. My name is
Mr. Lucky Lefthindfoot. Howdy!" and he put out his right front paw and
shook hands with the giant, who had to lean way down to reach Uncle
Lucky's paw.
"But, goodness me!" said the old gentleman rabbit after looking at the
giant for some moments, "you need a tailor. Let me call the Tailor
Bird to mend your clothes. You are too nice a rabbit not to be well
dressed."
And kind Uncle Lucky went to the telephone and told the Tailor Bird to
bring a spool of thread a mile long and a needle as big as a spear for
he had a giant customer for him with holes in his clothes as big as a
circus ring. The Tailor Bird said he'd try to, but wouldn't promise
unless he could send in a bill as big as a newspaper spread out flat.
"Will that be all right?" asked Uncle Lucky after he had explained
matters to the ragged Giant Rabbit.
"Certainly," said the Giant Rabbit with a grin, "and tell him I'll pay
him with a dollar bill as big as a Turkish rug or a crex carpet."
And then they all sat down and told funny stories, and Billy Bunny
sang a song that went something like this, only much nicer, but I
can't quite remember it all:
"Oh, you're a raggerty, taggerty man,
In a castle big and old,
And I'm a Billy Bunny boy
With a heart that's brave and bold.
You can't scare me with your thunder laugh
Or your club like a telegraph pole,
So you'd better allow the Tailor Bird
To sew up each raggerty hole."
And then the Tailor Bird commenced and it took him until half-past
fourteen o'clock to mend that Giant Rabbit's clothes. "I might just as
well have made you a new suit," he said, as the last inch of the
mile-long spool of thread was used up. "I declare I never had such a
job before."
And I guess he spoke the truth, for I never met a Giant Rabbit in my
tailor's shop, although I once had a giant bill from my tailor.
STORY XX.
BILLY BUNNY AND PARSON CROW.
Well, after the Tailor Bird got his money from the Ragged Giant Rabbit
for mending his clothes, he thanked Billy Bunny and Uncle Lucky and
said he must be going for he had to make a suit of clothes right away
for Parson Crow.
"If you'll wait a minute you can go with us," said kind Uncle Lucky;
"we'll take you home in the automobile."
Of course the Tailor Bird was only too anxious to get a ride, although
he did have a good pair of wings. But the needle was pretty heavy and,
anyway, Tailor Birds don't often have the opportunity to ride in
automobiles.
Well, after a little ways, not so very far, the Luckymobile came to a
stop and, of course, Billy Bunny had to get out to see what was the
matter, and he hunted and hunted all over the machine, but couldn't
find out what was wrong. By and by he saw one of the numbers had
dropped off the little license plate that hung down from the rear
axle.
So he hopped back, and by and by, just as he was going to give up
looking for it, Parson Crow flew by, and when he saw Billy Bunny he
stopped and said: "What are you looking for, little rabbit?"
And when Billy Bunny told him, he took the number 7 out of his pocket
and handed it to the little bunny. "Here's your number," cawed the
black crow, although I never heard of a white one except once, and
that was a bad bird who had been whitewashed by a colored painter
because he ate up all the corn.
"That's my lucky number," said Billy Bunny. And then the crow said in
a mournful voice:
"It's mine, too, and I just hate to give it up."
"Well, if you can get me another number, I don't care if you keep it,"
said the little rabbit. And then what do you think that crow did? Why,
he got a nice smooth little chip and made a lovely number 3 on it with
a red pencil and handed it to the little rabbit.
And as soon as he had tied it on the Luckymobile, would you believe it
if I didn't say so, that Luckymobile started to go all by itself. And
if Billy Bunny hadn't been mighty quick he would have been left
behind.
"Where are you two rabbits going?" asked the crow as he flew alongside
of the Luckymobile. "Because if you are not in a hurry, why don't you
come with me to the meeting house to-night and hear me preach?"
"We will," said kind Uncle Lucky, "and I'll drop a carrot cent in the
collection box if you want me to." So after a while they stopped near
a tall pine tree and Parson Crow sat on a limb and waited for all the
little people of the forest to come to the meeting. Well, after they
were all there, he began:
"Now, listen to the words I say,
And do your duty every day.
Be always good and most polite
And do the things you know are right.
Oh, never say an angry word
To any animal or bird,
So when the night comes 'twill be good
To feel you've done the best you could."
And after that Uncle Lucky dropped a carrot dollar in the collection
box and drove home with Billy Bunny.
STORY XXI.
BILLY BUNNY AND JACK-IN-THE-BOX.
Oh, I'm a rollicking Jack-in-the-Box,
And I'm not afraid of a bear or a fox,
For every one's scared when up I pop,
And the little girl cries, "Oh, stop! oh, stop!"
I'm the bravest thing you ever saw,
I'm not afraid of my Mother-in-Law!
Well, sir, I suppose you'll think Billy Bunny was frightened and that
Uncle Lucky lost his breath and the automobile a tire. But nothing of
the sort happened. Instead, the old gentleman rabbit laughed so hard
that his collar button fell out and it took him fifteen minutes and
half an hour to find it. And then he never would have if the
Jack-in-the-Box hadn't seen it first. And where do you suppose that
ex-as-per-a-ting, which means teasing, button was? You'd never guess,
so I'll have to tell you without asking you again.
It was in the old gentleman rabbit's waistcoat pocket where he kept
his gold watch and chain and pocket knife and pencil with a rubber on
the end and a toothpick.
"How did you see it pop into my pocket?" he asked the Jack-in-the-Box.
"I'll never tell you," said the Jack-in-the-Box, "but what does that
matter? You've found your collar button, and that's enough."
"If I come across your cousin Jack-in-the-Pulpit," said Uncle Lucky,
after he had buttoned up his collar and wound his watch, "I'll tell
him how kind you were to find my collar button for me," and then the
old gentleman rabbit took off his old wedding stovepipe hat and bowed
to the Jack-in-the-Box and drove away in the Luckmobile down the road,
and when he came to a bridge he said to his little nephew, "Do you
think we're on the right road?"
"I don't remember this bridge, do you?" And then a voice cried out,
"Don't be anxious, Mr. Lucky Lefthindfoot. This is the road to
Lettuceville.
"Keep right on after you cross the bridge until you come to a little
red schoolhouse and then turn to your left and then turn to your right
and if you don't get home until morning you've made a mistake."
"Thank you," said Uncle Lucky. "And if I make a mistake I'll come back
and give you a scolding," and after that they crossed the bridge, and
just as they came to the first turn in the road they heard a dreadful
loud noise in the woods close by.
"What's that?" asked Billy Bunny, and he turned up his left ear and
his coat collar so that he could hear better.
"It's an old friend of yours," answered a deep growly kind of a voice,
and before the two rabbits could wonder who it was their friend, the
good-natured bear jumped out of the bushes.
"Take me with you, please," he said, "for I've run a splinter in my
foot and it hurts me to walk." And in the next story you shall hear of
another adventure which the two little rabbits had.
STORY XXII.
BILLY BUNNY AND DR. DUCK.
You remember in the last story how the good-natured bear asked Billy
Bunny and Uncle Lucky to give him a ride in the Luckymobile because he
had run a splinter in his foot.
Well, as soon as he had climbed into the automobile, and it took him
almost 23 1/2 seconds to do it, for the splinter was so long that it
caught on the door, Uncle Lucky started off and by and by they came to
the house where the good Duck Doctor lived.--Dr. Quack, you remember.
"Now, I'll go in and get him to come out and look at your splinter,"
said Billy Bunny, as he hopped out of the Luckymobile and rang the
front door bell, and in a minute, less or more, a nice looking lady
duck came out and said, "The Doctor is away on his vacation. He's gone
to the Lily Pond for two weeks. But you can call him up on the
telephone if you like. The number is Waterville, 2 3 umpty eleven."
So the little rabbit called up the number and when the doctor heard
what was the matter, he said, "You had better come to see me.
"You have the automobile right there, and it's a dangerous thing to
have so large a splinter as that. Tell Mr. Bear he'll have a dreadful
corn if it isn't taken out at once."
So they all hurried away and pretty soon they came to Lily Pond, and
there was Dr. Duck swimming around among the pond lilies and the
frogs, having a lovely time. And wasn't he sunburnt? Well, I should
say he was. His bill was as dark as a little brown berry and his nose
was as red as a little choke cherry.
"That looks very serious to me," said he, putting on his glasses and
looking at Mr. Bear's injured feet. "I'll have to get a saw and cut
off your foot." And then Mr. Bear gave a dreadful howl. "Oh, please
don't saw off my foot. It's sore enough already."
"I didn't mean to saw off your foot," said Dr. Duck. "Did I say that?
I mean to saw off the splinter and then put on a poultice and draw out
the pain."
Well, it took a long time to do all that, and the poor Bear cried
several times, for it hurt the splinter dreadfully, you know, to be
sawed off that way. But by and by the poultice began to draw, and
pretty soon out came the splinter, and Mr. Bear felt ever so much
better. That is, until the doctor said, "It will cost you a million
dollars, for that was a very serious operation."
"I've never even seen a million dollars," said the Bear. "Nor even a
million cents. You'll have to mail me a corrected bill," and then he
jumped into the automobile and asked Uncle Lucky to drive away.
"Stop, stop!" cried the Duck Doctor, but Uncle Lucky paid no attention
to him, any more than the Bear paid the bill. "You send a corrected
bill to my friend," said the old gentleman rabbit. "And, mind you, you
had better correct it three times and a half if you ever want it
paid."
And in the next story you shall hear of an exciting adventure which
the two little rabbits had with a fretful porcupine.
STORY XXIII.
BUNNY AND THE FRETFUL PORCUPINE.
Oh, never tease a porcupine,
For reasons I'll relate,
He's like a cushion full of pins
That stand out stiff and straight.
And if you stand too close I know
He'll stick one in your little toe.
Well, that's just what Uncle Lucky did, and of course he got stuck
with one of those prickly, stickery porcupine needles and it was an
awful bother to get it out.
And the fretful porcupine laughed and this made Billy Bunny very
angry, and he took his popgun out of his knapsack and hit the
porcupine on the end of the nose with the cork bullet, and this made
the prickly animal run away.
And after that the two rabbits started off again in the Luckymobile
and by and by they came to a little village where they made lollypops
by the million. And the first thing Uncle Lucky did was to buy a big
box full of them and put it in the back of the Luckymobile, "for,"
said the kind old gentleman rabbit, "we may run across some boys and
girls and then we'll have something nice to give them."
Wasn't that kind of him? But he was always doing nice things, was
dear, kind, generous Uncle Lucky.
Well, after a while they came to some woods where a picnic was being
held. There were lots and lots of children playing under the trees and
the women were sitting around talking and telling their troubles, and
the men were making whistles and bows and arrows for the boys and
telling how they used to shoot with them when they were little boys.
"Helloa there, children!" cried Uncle Lucky, while Billy Bunny honked
the horn. "Don't you want some lollypops?" And in about five hundred
short seconds there wasn't a lollypop left in that big box, and Uncle
Lucky was a hero, or a Santa Claus, I don't remember which. And then
one big boy said, "Let's give three cheers for the two rabbits and one
more for the Luckymobile."
And you never heard such a noise in your life. One little boy got so
excited that he swallowed a raspberry lollypop and his mother had to
reach down his throat and pull it out by the stick.
"Now be good until I see you again," said the kind old gentleman
rabbit as he drove off, and by and by Billy Bunny saw something moving
among the trees.
"What's that?" he said to his rabbit uncle. But before the old
gentleman rabbit could reply, a big stone hit one of the lamps on the
automobile and broke it to splintereens.
"Stop that whoever you are!" shouted Billy Bunny. "If you do it again
I'll shoot!" and he held his popgun up to his shoulder just like a
soldier boy in battle.
And if the little canary in my room doesn't wink at me all night so
that I can't hear the alarm clock in the morning, I'll tell you
another story.
STORY XXIV.
BILLY BUNNY AND DANNY BILLYGOAT.
Well, my little canary bird didn't wink at me all night, as I feared
it might in the last story, and my alarm clock said "good morning" to
me at half-past fourteen o'clock, so I got up in time, and here is the
story I wrote before I went out into the garden to eat raspberries
with Robbie Redbreast.
One evening as Uncle Lucky and Billy Bunny were driving along in the
Luckymobile, who should they come across but a little billygoat named
Danny.
He had a little beard that hung down from his chin and two little
horns that stuck up from his head, and he was playing on a flute while
he sat cross-legged on a stone by the roadside. And when he saw our
two small friends in their machine, he began to play:
It's not so far to the twinkle star
In the little white boat of sleep.
So list to my tune, like a breeze in June,
Where the honeysuckles creep.
Over the sky, way up high,
In the little white boat of sleep.
Ever so far to the twinkle star
Way up in the sky blue deep.
"Where did you learn that lullaby," asked kind Uncle Lucky, brushing a
tear from his eye, for he remembered just a little song his mother
used to sing when he was a little boy rabbit, you know.
"I don't know," answered Danny Goat. He pulled on his goatee and
smiled, and then he began again:
"Up in the sky when the sun is high
The white cloud boats go sailing by,
And the summer breeze in the tall, tall trees
Is singing a song the whole day long.
And this is the song they sing:
We ring the bell in the cool damp dell
That grows on the lily's stalk,
We bend the ferns in the river's turns
And the tail of the great gray hawk;
And the foamy spray in the big deep bay
We blow on the great boardwalk."
"That reminds me of Atlantic City," said Uncle Lucky. "Let's drive
down there and go for a swim."
"Just the thing," said the little rabbit; "I've got my bathing suit in
my knapsack. I'm ready."
So off they went, and by and by they came to the seashore. But there
wasn't a hotel in sight, so of course they knew they had made a
mistake. They didn't care, especially Billy Bunny, for not very far
from land was the big good-natured whale who had taken him for a sail
a long, long time ago. "There's my friend the Whaleship!" cried the
little rabbit.
And in the next story, if that whale doesn't swim away, I'll tell you
something more about Billy Bunny and his kind Uncle Lucky.
STORY XXV.
BILLY BUNNY AND THE WHALE.
You remember in the story before this that Billy Bunny and Uncle Lucky
were at the seashore, and out a little ways from the land was the
good-natured Whale.
Well, as soon as he saw the little rabbit he swam up to the beach and
said "Hello." And then Billy Bunny introduced him to Uncle Lucky, and
after that the Whale said:
"Don't you both want to go for a sail?" and as the old gentleman
rabbit had never been on a whaleship in his life, he said yes right
away, and so did the little rabbit.
Then the Whale pushed his tail up on the sand and the two little
rabbits hopped over it just like a bridge, and then they sat down, and
away went the whale with a swish of his tail that spattered the spray
all over the bay.
"Goodness me!" cried the old gentleman rabbit, "I'll have to wipe off
my spectacles," and he took his polka-dot handkerchief from his
pocket, and after that he tied it over his old wedding stovepipe hat,
for he wasn't going to lose that hat, no siree, and a no sireemam, not
even if he had to tie the anchor to it. By and by, not so very long,
they heard a sweet voice singing, so they looked everywhere, but the
only thing they saw was the big green ocean.
"I wonder who is singing?" said Uncle Lucky, and he took his spyglass
out of his waistcoat pocket and twisted it around and around until he
could see distinctly, which means plainly, you know.
"There she is!" cried the old gentleman rabbit, and he got so excited
that he looked through the wrong end of the spyglass and then he said,
"No, she isn't!" for he couldn't see anything at all that way, you
know.
"What did you see?" asked the little rabbit, and he pushed forward
Uncle Lucky's old wedding stovepipe hat to keep it from falling over
his left ear.
"A mermaid!" cried the old gentleman rabbit, and before he could turn
the spyglass the other way a lovely mermaid swam up and handed him her
card, and on it was written in lovely purple ink:
Miss Coral Seafoam,
Oceanville,
U. S. A.
"Pleased to meet you," cried the old gentleman rabbit most politely.
"This is my nephew, William Bunny, Brier Patch, Old Snake Fence
Corner, and my name is Mr. Lucky Lefthindfoot and I live in
Lettuceville, corner of Carrot and Lettuce streets," and then he tried
to take off his hat, but he couldn't, for it was tied down tight, you
remember, with his blue polka-dot handkerchief.
And after that the mermaid asked them to visit her coral island, where
she and her sisters sold coral beads and scarfpins. And in the next
story you shall hear--well, I guess I won't tell you now, but let you
wait and see.
STORY XXVI.
BILLY BUNNY AND THE MERMAID.
Well, now we'll commence by saying that as soon as Billy Bunny and
Uncle Lucky reached the coral island, where the lovely mermaid lived,
for she had asked them to call, you remember, they got off the Whale,
and, after asking him to wait for them while they made a little visit,
sat down on the sand, and pretty soon the mermaid brought them each a
lovely coral scarfpin, and the one she gave to Uncle Lucky was a
little image of herself and the one she gave to Billy Bunny was a
little fish.
Then the little rabbit opened his knapsack and took out a lovely apple
pie and gave it to her. And she was so pleased that she ate it all up,
and then she said, "I'll give you a lovely breast-pin made of
beautiful coral for your mother, Mr. Billy Bunny, if you'll give me
another pie."
So the little rabbit opened his knapsack and took out another fresh,
juicy apple pie and placed the beautiful present for his mother
carefully in the knapsack, and after that he ate a lollypop and Uncle
Lucky drank a bottle of ginger ale, and then they said good-by and got
aboard the Whaleship and sailed away.
And would you believe it? Dear, kind Uncle Lucky almost cried! You
see, he had never seen a mermaid before, and he thought she was
lovely, and I guess she was, for Uncle Lucky couldn't make a mistake,
I'm sure, for he had travelled abroad and had seen lots and lots of
beautiful lady bunnies.
"And now where are we going?" asked the little rabbit, but Uncle Lucky
was too busy trying to find his other blue polka-dot handkerchief with
which to wipe his eyes to answer.
And then he couldn't find it, and the reason was because he had given
it to a Chinaman the day before, but he didn't remember that, for he
was so miserable at leaving the beautiful mermaid.
"Oh, dear! Oh, dear!" sighed the old gentleman rabbit,
"'Tis sad to part.
My poor old heart
Is nearly, nearly breaking;
Alas! alas! that mermaid lass
Has set my head a-shaking!"
And after that his old wedding stovepipe hat almost fell off his head,
and it would have, I'm sure, if it hadn't been for the blue polka-dot
handkerchief which he had tied over the top of it.
And just then, all of a sudden, the Whaleship bumped into a motor
boat, and nearly upset it.
"What's the matter with your pilot?" screamed the man who was in the
motor boat, and when Uncle Lucky looked over the side of the Whale he
saw it wasn't a man at all, but the old Billygoat who owned the
Ferryboat I told you about some umpty-leven stones ago.
"Excuse us, please," said the kind old gentleman rabbit, but what the
Billygoat said I'll have to tell you in the next story, for there's no
more room in this one.
STORY XXVII.
BILLY BUNNY AND THE BEANSTALK.
Seeing it's you," answered the Billygoat, who, you remember in the
last story, had gotten very angry because Billy Bunny and Uncle Lucky
had bumped into his motor boat with their whaleship.
"I'll forgive you," and then he raced the Whale all the way to the
shore and would have beaten him, too, if he had gone faster.
And as soon as the whaleship ran up on the beach, the two little
rabbits hopped off and got into their automobile and drove away, and
the Whale went back and told the Mermaid that the two little rabbits
had a beautiful Luckymobile, and she felt dreadfully sorry that she
hadn't gone with them.
Well, after a little while, not so very far, they came across a
wonderful beanstalk, which was growing up so high that you couldn't
see the top, and if Billy Bunny had only known the story about "Jack
and the Beanstalk," I guess he would have thought that the story had
come true.
"My gracious!" exclaimed Uncle Lucky. "My lima beans at home grow
pretty high but never as high as this," and he took out of his
waistcoat pocket his spyglass and tried to find the top of the
beanstalk; but he couldn't, for it was hidden in the clouds. Just
think of that!
"I'm going to climb up that beanstalk," said the little bunny. "Maybe
I'll find my fortune at the top."
"And I'll go with you," said the old gentleman rabbit, for he wasn't
going to let his small nephew go up a strange beanstalk and perhaps
get lost in the clouds, you know.
Not good, kind Uncle Lucky. No, sireemam; so they hopped out of the
Luckymobile and started up the beanstalk, and by and by, after a
pretty long time, they came to the top and the first thing they saw
was their friend American Eagle and his wife, and she was sitting on
her nest hatching out the big eggs which she had laid.