"Time has no existence outside this planet. Humanity counts its
seasons, its days and hours by the Sun--but beyond the Sun there are
millions and trillions of other and larger suns, compared with which
our guiding orb is but a small star. Out in the infinitude of space
there is no Time, but only Eternity. Therefore the Soul which knows
itself to be eternal should associate Itself with eternal things, and
should never count its existence by years. To its Being there can be no
end--therefore it never ages and never dies. It is only the sham
religionists who talk of death,--it is only the inefficient and
unspiritual who talk of age. The man who allows himself to sink into
feebleness and apathy merely because of the passing of years has some
mental or spiritual weakness in him which he has not the Will to
overcome--the woman who suffers her beauty and freshness to wane and
fade on account of what she or her 'dearest' friends are pleased to
call 'age,' shows that she is destitute of spiritual self-control. The
Soul is always young, and its own radiation can preserve the youth of
the Body in which it dwells. Age and decrepitude come to those with
whom the Soul is 'an unknown quantity.' The Soul is the only barrier
against the forces of disintegration which break down effete substances
in preparation for the change which humanity calls 'Death.' If the
barrier is not strong enough, the enemy takes the city. These facts are
simple and true; too simple and too true to be accepted by the world.
The world goes to church and asks a Divinity to save its soul,
practically showing in all its ways of society and government an utter
disbelief in the Soul's existence. Men and women die when they might as
well have lived. If we examine into the cause of their deaths we shall
find it in the manner of their lives. Obstinacy and selfishness have
murdered more human beings than any other form of plague. The blasphemy
of sham religion has insulted the majesty of the Creator more than any
other form of sin, and He has answered it by His Supreme Silence. The
man who attends a ritual of prayer which he does not honestly believe
in, merely for the sake of social custom and observance, is openly
deriding his Maker and the priests who gain their living out of such
ritual are trading on the Divine. Let the people of this Earth be
taught that they live not in Time but Eternity,--that their thoughts,
words and deeds are recorded minutely and accurately--and that each
individual human unit is expected to contribute towards the general
beauty and adornment of God's scheme of Perfection. Every man, every
woman, must give of his or her best. The artist must give his noblest
art, not for what it brings to him personally of gain or renown, but
for what it does to others in the way of uplifting;--the poet must give
his highest thought, not for praise, but for love;--the very craftsman
must do his best and strongest work not for the coin paid, but for the
fact that it is work, and as such must be done well--and none must
imagine that they can waste the forces wherewith they have been
endowed. For no waste and no indolence is permitted, and in the end no
selfishness. The attitude of the selfish human being is pure
disintegration,--a destroying microbe which crumbles and breaks down
the whole constitution, not only ruining the body but the mind, and
frequently making havoc of the very wealth that has been too selfishly
guarded. For wealth is ephemeral as fame--only Love and the Soul are
the lasting things of God, the Makers of Life and the Rulers of
Eternity."
So far I read--then laying down my book I listened. Music, solemn and
exquisitely beautiful, stole on my ears from the far distance--it
seemed to float through the open window as though in a double
chorus--rising from the sea and falling from the heavens. Delicious
harmonies trembled through the air, soft as fine rain falling on
roses,--and with their penetrating tenderness a thousand suggestions, a
thousand memories came to me, all infinitely sweet. I began to think
that even if Rafel Santoris were separated from me by some mischance,
or changed to me in any way, it need not affect me over-much so long as
I cherished the love I had for him in my own soul. Our passion was of a
higher quality than the merely material,--it was material and spiritual
together, the spiritual predominating, thus making of it the only
passion that can last. What difference could a few years more or less
bring, if we were bound, by the eternal laws governing us, to become
united in the end? The joy of life is to love rather than to be
loved,--and the recipient of love is never so fully conscious of
perfect happiness as the giver.
The music went on in varying moods of lovely harmony, and my mind, like
a floating cloud, drifted lazily above the waves of sound. I thought
compassionately of the unrest and discontent of thousands who devote
themselves to the smallest and narrowest aims in life,--people with
whom the loss of a mere article of wearing apparel is more important
than a national difficulty--people who devote all their faculties to
social schemes of self-aggrandisement--people who discuss trifles till
discussion is worn threadbare, and ears are tired and brain is
weary--people who, assuming to be religious and regular church-goers,
yet do the meanest things, and have no scruple in playing the part of
tale-bearer and mischief-maker, setting themselves deliberately to
break friendships and destroy love--people who talk of God as though He
were their intimate, and who have by their very lives drawn everything
of God out of them--I thought of all these, I say--and I thought how
different this world would be if men would hold by the noblest ideals,
and suffer the latent greatness in them to have its way--if they would
truly rule their own universe and not allow its movements to fall into
chaos--how fair life would become!--how replete with health and
joy!--what a paradise would be created around us!--and what constant
benediction we should draw down upon us from the Most High! And
gradually as I sat absorbed in my own reveries the afternoon waned into
twilight, and twilight into dusk--one star brilliant as a great
diamond, flashed out suddenly above a rift of cloud--and a soft
darkness began to creep stealthily over sky and sea. I moved away from
the window and paced slowly up and down the room, waiting and
wondering. The music still continued,--but it had now grown slower and
more solemn, and founded like a great organ being played in a
cathedral. It impressed me with a sense of prayer and praise--more of
praise than prayer, for I had nothing to pray for, God having given me
my own Soul, which was all!
As the darkness deepened, a soft suffused light illumined the room--and
I now noticed that it was the surface of the walls that shone in this
delicate yet luminous way. I put my hand on the wall nearest to me--it
was quite cold to the touch, yet bright to the eyes, and was no more
fatiguing to look at than the sunshine on a landscape. I could not
understand how the light was thus arranged and used, but its effect was
beautiful. As I walked to and fro, looking at the various graceful and
artistic objects which adorned the room, I perceived an easel, on which
a picture was placed with a curtain of dark velvet drawn across it.
Moved by curiosity, I drew the curtain aside,--and my heart gave a
quick bound of delight,--it was an admirably painted portrait of Rafel
Santoris. The grave blue eyes looked into my own,--a smile rested on
the firm, handsome mouth--the whole picture spoke to me and seemed to
ask 'Wherefore didst thou doubt?' I stood gazing at it for several
minutes, enrapt,--realising how much even the 'counterfeit presentment'
of a beloved face may mean. And then I began to think how strange it is
that we never seem ready to admit the strong insistence of Nature on
individuality and personality. Up at a vast height above the Earth, and
looking down upon a crowd of people from the car of a balloon, or from
an aeroplane, all human beings look the same--just one black mass of
tiny moving units; but, in descending among them, we find every face
and figure wholly different, and though all are made on the same model
there are no two alike. Yet there are many who argue and maintain that
though individual personality in bodies may be strongly marked, there
is no individual personality in souls--ergo, that Nature thinks so
little of the intelligent Spirit inhabiting a mortal form that she
limits individuality to that which is subject to change and has no care
for it in that which is eternal! Such an hypothesis is absurd on the
face of it, since it is the Soul that gives individuality to the Body.
The individual personality of Rafel Santoris, expressed even in his
painted portrait, appealed to me as being that of one I had loved long
and tenderly,--there was no strangeness in his features but only an
adorable familiarity. Long long ago, in centuries that had proved like
mere days down the vista of time, the Soul in those blue eyes had
looked love into mine! I recognised their tender, half-entreating,
half-commanding gaze,--I knew the little fleeting, wistful smile which
said so little and yet so much--I felt that the striving, ambitious
spirit of this man had sought mine as the help and completion of his
own uplifting, and that I had misunderstood him and turned from him at
the crucial moment when all might have been well. And I studied his
picture long and earnestly, so moved by its aspect that I found myself
talking to it softly as though it were a living thing.
"I wonder if I shall ever meet you again?" I murmured--"Will you come
to me?--or shall I go to you? How shall we find each other? When shall
I be able to tell you that I know you now to be the only Beloved!--the
one centre of my life round which all other things must for evermore
revolve,--the very mainspring of my best thought and action,--the god
of my universe from whose love and pleasure spring the light and
splendour of creation! When shall I see you again to tell you all that
my heart longs to express?--when may I fold myself in your arms as a
bird folds its wings in a nest, and be at peace, knowing that I have
gained the summit of all ambition and desires in love's perfect union?
When shall we attune our lives together in that harmonious chord which
shall sound its music sweetly through eternity? When shall our Souls
make a radiant ONE, through which God's power and benediction shall
vibrate like living fire, creating within us all beauty, all wisdom,
all courage, all supernal joy?--For this is bound to be our
future--but--when?"
Moved by my own imagining, I stretched out my arms to the picture of my
love, and tears filled my eyes. I was nothing but the weakest of
mortals in the sudden recollection of the happiness I might have won
long ago had I been wise in time!
A door opened quietly behind me, and I turned round quickly. Aselzion's
messenger, Honorius, stood before me--and I greeted him with a smile,
though my eyes were wet.
"Have you come to fetch me?"--I asked--"I am ready."
He inclined his head a little.
"You are not quite ready"--he said--and with the word he gave into my
hands a folded garment and veil--"You must attire yourself in these. I
will wait for you outside."
He retired and left me, and I quickly changed my own things for those
which had been brought. They were easily put on, as they consisted
simply of one long white robe of a rather heavy make of soft silk, and
a white veil which covered me from head to foot. My attiring took me
but a few minutes, and when all was done I touched the bell by which I
had previously summoned Aselzion. Honorius entered at once--his looks
were grave and preoccupied.
"If you should not return to this room,"--he said, slowly--"is there
any message--any communication you would like me to convey to your
friends?"
My heart gave a quick bound. There was some actual danger in store for
me, then? I thought for a moment--then smiled.
"None!" I answered--"I shall be able to attend to all such personal
matters myself--afterwards!"
Honorius looked at me, and his handsome but rather stern face was grave
even to melancholy.
"Do not be too sure!"--he said, in a low tone--"It is not my place to
speak, but few pass the ordeal to which you are about to be subjected.
Only two have passed it in ten years."
"And one of these two was--?"
For answer, he pointed to the portrait of Santoris, thus confirming my
instinctive hope and confidence.
"I am not afraid!" I said--"And I am ready to follow you now wherever
you wish me to go."
He made no further remark and, turning round, led the way out of the
apartment.
We went down many stairs and through many corridors,--some dimly lit,
some scarcely illumined at all. The night had now fully come,--and
through one of two of the windows we passed I could see the dark sky
patterned with stars. We came to the domed hall where the fountain
played, and this was illumined by the same strange all-penetrating
light I had previously noticed,--the lovely radiance played on the
spray of the fountain, making the delicate frondage of ferns and palms
and the hues of flowers look like a dream of fairyland. Passing through
the hall, I followed my guide down a dark narrow passage--then I found
myself suddenly alone. Guided by the surging sound of organ music, I
went on,--and all at once saw a broad stream of light pouring out from
the open door of the chapel. Without a moment's hesitation, I
entered--then paused--the symbol of the Cross and Star flamed opposite
to me--and on every side wherever I looked there were men in white
robes with cowls thrown back on their shoulders, all standing in silent
rows, watching me as I came. My heart beat quickly,--my nerves
thrilled--I trembled as I walked, thankful for the veil that partially
protected me from that multitude of eyes!--eyes that looked at me in
wonder, but not unkindly--eyes that mutely asked questions never to be
answered--eyes that said as plainly as though in actual speech--"Why
are you among us?--you, a woman? Why should you have conquered
difficulties which we have still to overcome? Is it pride, defiance, or
ambition with you?--or is it all love?"
I felt a thousand influences moving around me--the power of many brains
at work silently cross-examined my inner spirit as though it were a
witness in defence of some great argument--but I made up my mind not to
yield to the overpowering nervousness and sudden alarm of my own
position which threatened to shake my self-control. I fixed my eyes on
the glittering symbol of the Cross and Star and moved on slowly--I must
have looked a strangely solitary creature, draped in white like a
victim for sacrifice and walking all alone towards those burning,
darting rays of light which enveloped the whole of the chapel in a
flood of almost blinding splendour. The music still thundered on round
me--and I thought I heard voices far off singing--I could distinguish
words that came falling through the music, like blossoms falling
through rain:
Into the Light,
Into the heart of the fire!
To the innermost core of the deathless flame
I ascend--I aspire!
Under me rolls the whirling Earth,
With the noise of a myriad wheels that run
Ever round and about the Sun,--
Over me circles the splendid heaven,
Strewn with the stars of morn and even,
And I, the queen
Of my soul serene,
Float with my rainbow wings unfurled,
Alone with Love, 'twixt God and the world!
My heart beat rapidly; every nerve in me trembled--yet I went on
resolvedly, not allowing myself to even think of danger.
And then I saw Aselzion--Aselzion, transfigured into an almost
supernatural beauty of aspect by the radiance which bathed him in its
lustrous glory!--Aselzion, with outstretched hands beckoning me towards
him--and as I approached I instinctively sank on my knees. The music
died away suddenly, and there was a profound silence. I felt, though I
could not see, that the eyes of all present were fixed upon me. And
Aselzion spoke:
"Rise!" he said--and his voice was clear and imperative--"Not here must
thou kneel--not here must thou rest! Rise and go onward!--thou hast
gone far, but the way is still beyond! The gate of the Last Probation
stands open--enter!--and may God be thy Guide!"
I rose as he commanded me,--and a dazzling flash of light struck my
eyes as though the heavens had opened. The blazing Cross and Star
became suddenly severed in two separate portions, dividing asunder and
disclosing what seemed to be a Hall of living fire! Flames of every
colour burned vividly, leaping and falling without pause or
cessation,--it was a kind of open furnace in which surely everything
must be consumed! I looked at Aselzion in silent enquiry--not in
fear--and in equally silent answer he pointed to the glowing vault. I
understood--and without another moment's hesitation I advanced towards
it. As in a dream I heard a kind of murmuring behind me--and suppressed
exclamations from the students or disciples of Aselzion who were all
assembled in the chapel--but I paid no heed to this--my whole soul was
set on fulfilling the last task demanded of me. Step by step I went
on--I passed Aselzion with a smile--
"Good-bye!" I murmured--"We shall meet again!"
And then I advanced towards the leaping flames. I felt their hot breath
on my cheeks--the scorching wind of them lifted my hair through the
folds of my veil--an idea came upon me that for some cause or other I
was now to experience that 'Change which men call Death'--and that
through this means I should meet my Beloved on the other side of
life--and with his name on my lips, and a passionate appeal to him in
my heart, I stepped into the glowing fire.
As I did so, I lost sight of Aselzion--of the chapel and of all those
who watched my movements, and found myself surrounded on all sides by
darting points of light which instead of scorching and withering me
like a blown leaf in a storm, were like cool and fragrant showers
playing all over me! Amazed, I went on--and as I went grew bolder. At
one step I was bathed in a rain of delicate rays like sparkling diamond
and topaz--at another a lovely violet light shrouded me in its rich
hues--at another I walked in melting azure, like the hues of a summer
sky--and the farther in I went the deeper and more glowing was the
light about me. I felt it penetrating every pore of my skin--I held my
hands out to it, and saw them look transparent in the fine
luminance,--and presently, gaining courage, I threw back my veil and
breathed in the radiance, as one breathes the air! My whole body grew
light, and moved as though it floated rather than walked--I looked with
unfatigued, undazzled eyes at the glittering flames that sparkled
harmlessly about me and which changed to lovely shapes of flowers and
leaves beneath my feet, and arched themselves over my head like
branches of shading trees--and then all at once, down the long vista I
caught sight of a Shape like that of an Angel!--an angel that waited
for me with watchful eyes and outstretched arms!--it was but a moment
that I saw this vision, and yet I knew what it meant, and I pressed on
and on with all my Soul rising in me as it were, to go forth and reach
that Companion of itself which stood waiting with such tender patience!
The light around me now changed to waves of intense luminance which
swept upon me like waves of the sea--and I allowed myself to be borne
along with them, I knew not whither. All at once I saw a vast Pillar of
Fire which seemed to block my way,--pausing a moment, I looked and saw
it break asunder and form the Cross and Star!--I gazed upward,
wondering--its rays descending seemed to pierce my eyes, my brain, my
very soul!--I sprang forward, dazed and dazzled, murmuring, "Let this
be the end!"
Someone caught me in his arms--someone drew me to his breast, holding
me there as if I were the dearest possession of all the world or life
or time could give--and a voice, infinitely tender, answered me--
"Not the end, but the Endless, my beloved!--Mine at last, and mine for
ever!--in triumph, in victory, in perfect joy!"
And then I knew!--I knew that I had found my love!--that it was Rafel
Santoris who thus held me in his close embrace,--that I had fulfilled
my own desire, which was to prove my faith if not my worthiness--that I
had won all I wanted in this world and the next, and that nothing could
ever separate our Souls, one from the other again! This is the deep
eternal ecstasy of a knowledge divinely shared by the very angels of
God, and of such supernal happiness nothing can be said or written!
* * *
* *
*
I pen these last words on the deck of the 'Dream' with my Beloved
beside me. The sun is sinking in a glory of crimson--we are about to
anchor in still waters. A rosy light flashes on our wonderful white
sails, which will be presently furled; and we shall sit together, Rafel
and I, watching the night draw its soft dark curtain around us, and the
stars come out in the sky like diamonds embroidered on deep purple
velvet, and listening to the gentle murmur of the little waves breaking
into a rocky corner of the distant shore. And the evening will close on
a day of peace and happiness,--one of the many unwearying, beautiful
days which, like a procession of angels, bring us new and ever more
perfect joy!
More than a year has elapsed since my 'Probation' in the House of
Aselzion,--since we, my Beloved and I, knelt before the Master and
received his blessing on our eternal union. In that brief time I have
lost all my 'worldly' friends and acquaintances,--who have, if I may so
express it, become afraid of me. Afraid, chiefly, because I possess all
that the world can give me without their advice and assistance--and not
only afraid, but offended, because I have found the Companion of my
Soul with whom they have nothing in common. They look upon me as 'lost
to society' and cannot realise how much such loss is gain! Meanwhile
we, Rafel and I, live our own radiant and happy lives, in full
possession of all that makes life sweet and valuable, and wanting
nothing that our own secret forces cannot supply. Wealth is ours--one
of the least among the countless gifts Nature provides for those among
her children who know where to find her inexhaustible riches--and we
also enjoy the perfect health which accompanies the constant inflowing
of an exhaustless vitality. And though the things we attain seem
'miraculous' to others, so that even while accepting help and benefit
at our hands, they frown and shake their heads at the attitude we
assume towards social hypocrisies and conventions, we are nevertheless
able to create such 'influences' around us, that none come near as
without feeling stronger, better and more content,--and this is the
utmost we are permitted to do for our fellow-creatures, inasmuch as
none will listen to argument, and none will follow advice. The most
ardent soul that ever dwelt in human form cannot lead another soul in
the way of lasting life or lasting happiness if it refuses to go,--and
there is no more absolute truth than this--That each man and each woman
must make his or her own destiny both here and hereafter. This is the
Law which changes not and which can never be subject to the slightest
variation. Forgiveness of sins there is none--since every trespass
against law carries its own punishment. Necessity for prayer there is
none,--since every faithful wish and desire of the Soul is granted
without parley. Necessity for praise there is much!--since the Soul
lives and grows in the glory of its Creator. And the whole Secret of
Everlasting Life and Happiness is contained in the full possession and
control of the Divine Centre of ourselves--this 'Radia' or living
flame, which must be DUAL in order to be perfect, and which in its
completed state, is an eternal Force which nothing can destroy and
nothing can resist. All Nature harmonises with its action, and from
Nature it draws its perpetual sustenance and increasing power.
To me, and my Beloved, the world is a garden of paradise--rich with
beauty and delight. We live in it as a part of its loveliness--we draw
into our own organisations the warmth of the sunlight, the glory of
colour, the songs of sweet birds, the fragrance of flowers, and the
exquisite vibrations of the light and air. Like two notes of a perfect
chord we sound our lives on the keyboard of the Infinite--and we know
that the music will become fuller and sweeter as the eternal seasons
roll on. If it is asked why there should have been any necessity to
pass through the psychic ordeal imposed on me by Aselzion, I
reply--Look at the world in which men and women generally live, and say
frankly whether its ways are such as to engender happiness! Look at
society--look at politics--look at commerce--all mere schemes for
self-aggrandisement! And more than all, look at the Sham of modern
religion! Is it not too often a mere blasphemy and affront to the
majesty of the Divine? And are not many, if not all these mistakes
against Nature,--these offences against eternal Law,--the result of
Man's own 'influence' working in opposition to the very decrees of God,
which he disobeys even while recognising that they exist?
The chief point of Aselzion's instruction was the test of the Brain and
Soul against 'influences'--the opposing influences of others--and this
is truly the chief hindrance to all spiritual progress. The coward
sentiment of fear itself is born in us through the influence of
timorous persons--and it is generally the dread of what 'other people
will say' or what 'other people will think' that holds us back from
performing many a noble action. It should be thoroughly understood that
in the eternal advancement of one's own Soul 'other people' and their
influences are hindrances to progress. It does not matter a jot what
anybody thinks or says, provided the central altar of one's own
Spirituality is clear and clean for the steadfast burning of the dual
flame of Life and Love. All opinion, all criticism becomes absurd in
such matters as these and absolutely worthless.
It does not affect me that anyone outside my sphere of thought should
be incredulous of my beliefs,--nor can it move me from my happiness to
know that persons who live their lives on a lower plane consider me a
fool for electing to live mine on the highest. I take joy in the fact
that even in so selfish and material an age as this, Aselzion still has
his students and disciples,--a mere handful out of the million, it is
true, but still sufficient to keep the beautiful truth of the Soul's
power alive and helpful to the chosen few. For such who have studied
these truths and have mastered them sufficiently to practise them in
the ordinary round of existence, Life presents an ever living
happiness--and offers daily proof that there is no such thing as Death.
Youth remains where Love is, and Beauty stays with health and vitality.
Decay and destruction are changes which are brought about by apathy of
the Will and indifference to the Soul's existence, and the same Law
which gives the Soul its supreme sovereignty equally works for its
release from effete and inactive substances.
To those who would ask me how I am able to hold and keep the treasures
of life, love and youth, which the majority of mankind are for ever
losing, I answer that I can say no more than I have said, and the
lesson which all may learn is contained in what I have written. It is
no use arguing with those whom no argument will convince, or trying to
teach those who will not be taught. We--my Beloved and I--can only
prove the truth of the Soul's absolute command over all spiritual,
material and elemental forces by our One life and the way we live
it--we, to whom everything that is necessary and desirable for our
progress, comes on demand,--we, whom Science serves as an Aladdin's
lamp, realising every imaginable delight--we, with whom Love, which
with many human beings is judged the most variable and transitory of
emotions, is the very Principle of Life, the very essence of the waves
of the air through which we move and have our being. The attainment of
such happiness as ours is possible to all, but there is only One Way of
Attainment, and the clue to that Way is in the Soul of each individual
human being. Each one must find it and follow it, regardless of all
'influences' which may be brought to bear on his or her actions,--each
one must discover the Centre-poise of Life's movement, and firmly abide
by it. It is the Immortal Creature in each one of us whose destiny is
to make eternal progress and advancement through endless phases of
life, love and beauty, and when once we know and admit the actual
existence of this Immortal Centre we shall realise that with it all
things are possible, save Death. Radiating outward from itself, it can
preserve the health and youth of the body it inhabits indefinitely,
till of its own desire it seeks a higher plane of action,--radiating
inwardly, it is an irresistible attractive force drawing to itself the
powers and virtues of the planet on which it dwells, and making all the
forces of visible and invisible Nature subject to its will and command.
This is one of those great Truths which the world denies, but which it
is destined to learn within the next two thousand years.
If anyone should desire to know the fate of Motion Harland and his
daughter, that fate has been precisely what they themselves brought
about by their way of life and action. Morton Harland himself 'died,'
as the world puts it, of a painful and lingering disease which could
have been cured had he chosen to take the means offered to him through
Rafel Santoris. He did not choose,--therefore the end was inevitable.
Catherine married Dr. Brayle, and they two now live a sufficiently
wretched life together,--she, a moping, querulous invalid, and he as a
'society' physician, possessed of great wealth and the position wealth
brings. We never meet,--our ways are now for ever sundered. Mine is the
upward and onward path--and with my Beloved I ascend the supernal
heights where the Shadow of Evil never falls, and where the Secret of
Life is centred in the Spirit of Love.