"If we made mistakes, could we altogether help it?" I asked--"Does it
not seem that we tried for the best?"
He smiled slightly.
"No, it does not seem so to me,"--he replied--"The mainspring of your
various previous existences,--the law of attraction drawing you
together was, and is, Love. This you fought against as though it were a
crime, and in many cases you obeyed the temporary conventionalities of
man rather than the unchanging ordinance of God. And now--divided as
you have been--lost as you have been in endless whirlpools of
infinitude, you are brought together again--and though your lover has
ceased to question, you have not ceased to doubt!"
"I do not doubt!" I exclaimed, suddenly, and with passion--"I love him
with all my soul!--I will never lose him again!"
Aselzion looked at me questioningly.
"How do you know you have not lost him already?" he said.
At this a sudden wave of despair swept over me--a chill sense of
emptiness and desolation. Could it be possible that my own rashness and
selfishness had again separated me from my beloved?--for so I now
called him in my heart--had I by some foolish, distrustful thought
estranged him once more from my soul? The rising tears choked me--I
rose from my seat, hardly knowing what I did, and went to the window
for air--Aselzion followed me and laid his hand gently on my shoulder.
"It is not so difficult to win love as to keep it!"--he
said--"Misunderstanding, and want of quick sympathy, end in heart-break
and separation. And this is far worse than what mortals call death."
The burning tears fell slowly from my eyes--every word seemed to pierce
my heart--I looked yearningly out on the sea, rippling under the moon.
I thought of the day, barely a week ago, when Rafel stood beside me,
his hand clasping mine,--such a little division of time seemed to have
elapsed since we were together, and yet how long! At last I spoke--
"I would rather die, if death were possible, than lose his love"--I
said--"And where there is no love, surely there must be death?"
Aselzion sighed.
"Poor child! Now you understand why the lonely Soul hurls itself wildly
from one phase of existence to another till it finds its true
mate!"--he answered--"You say truly that where there is no love there
is no real life. It is merely a semi-conscious existence. But you have
no cause to grieve--not now,--not if you are firm and faithful. Rafel
Santoris is safe and well--and his soul is so much with you--you are so
constantly in his thoughts, that it is as if he were himself here--see!"
And he placed his two hands for a moment over my eyes and then removed
them. I uttered a cry of ecstasy--for there before me on the moonlit
water I saw the 'Dream'!--her sails glittering with light, and her
aerial shape clearly defined against the sky! Oh, how I longed to fly
across the strip of water which alone seemed to divide us!--and once
more to stand on the deck beside him whom I now loved more than my very
hopes of heaven! But I knew it was only a vision conjured up before me
by the magic of Aselzion,--a magic used gently for my sake, to help and
comfort me in a moment of sadness and heart's longing. And I watched,
knowing that the picture must fade,--as it slowly did,--vanishing like
a rainbow in a swirl of cloud.
"It is indeed a 'Dream'!" I said, smiling faintly, as I turned again to
Aselzion--"I pray that love itself may never be so fleeting!"
"If love is fleeting, it is not love!"--he answered--"As ephemeral
passion called by that name is the ordinary sort of attraction existing
between ordinary men and women,--men, who see no farther than the
gratification of a desire, and women, who see no higher than the
yielding to that desire. Men who love in the highest and most faithful
meaning of the term, are much rarer than women,--women are very near
the divine in love when it is first awakened in them--if afterwards
they sink to a lower level, it is generally the men who have dragged
them down. Unless a man is bent on the highest, he is apt to settle on
the lowest--whereas a woman generally soars to the highest ideals at
first in the blind instinct of a Soul seeking its mate--how often she
is hurled back from the empyrean only the angels know! Not to all is
given power to master and control the life-forces--and it is this I
would have you understand before I leave you to-night. I can teach you
the way to hold your life safely above all disintegrating elements--but
the learning of the lesson rests with yourself."
He sat down, and I resumed my place in the chair opposite to him,
prepared to hear him with the closest attention. There were a few
things on the table which I had not previously noticed, and one of
these was a circular object covered with a cloth. He removed this
covering, and showed me a crystal globe which appeared to be full of
some strange volatile fluid, clear in itself, but intersected with
endless floating brilliant dots and lines.
"Look well at this"--he said--"for here you have a very simple
manifestation of a great truth. These dots and lines which you observe
perpetually in motion are an epitome of what is going on in the
composition of every human being. Some of them, as you see, go in
different directions, yet meet and mingle with each other at various
points of convergence--then again become separated. They are the
building-up and the disintegrating forces of the whole
cosmos--and--mark this well!--they are all, when unimprisoned, directed
by a governing will-power. You, in your present state of existence, are
simply an organised Form, composed of these atoms, and your will-power,
which is part of the Divine creative influence, is set within you to
govern them. If you govern them properly, the building-up and
revivifying atoms within you obey your command, and with increasing
strength gradually control and subdue their disintegrating
opponents,--opponents which after all are only their servants, ready to
disencumber them from all that is worthless and useless at the first
sign of disablement. There is nothing more simple than this law, which
has only to be followed in order to preserve both life and youth. It 5s
all contained in an effort of the WILL, to which everything in Nature
responds, just as a well-steered ship obeys the compass. Remember this
well!--I say, EVERYTHING IN NATURE! This crystal globe holds
momentarily imprisoned atoms which cannot just now be directed because
they are shut in, away from all Will to govern them--but if I left them
as they are for a few more hours their force would shatter the crystal,
and they would escape to resume their appointed way. They are only
shown to you as an object lesson, to prove that such things ARE--they
are facts, not dreams. You, like this crystal globe, are full of
imprisoned atoms--atoms of Spirit and Matter which work together to
make you what you are--but you have also the governing Will which is
meant to control them and move them either to support, sustain and
revivify you, or else to weaken, break down and finally disperse and
disintegrate you, preparatory to your assumption of another form and
phase of existence. Now, do you begin to understand?"
"I think I do,"--I answered--"But is it possible always to make this
effort of the Will?"
"There is no moment in which you do not, consciously or subconsciously,
'will' something"--he answered--"And the amount of power you use up in
'willing' perfectly trifling and ephemeral things, could almost lift a
planet! But let us take simple actions--such as raising a hand. You
think this movement instinctive or mechanical--but it is only because
you WILL to raise it that you can do it. If you willed NOT to raise it,
it could not raise itself OF itself. This tremendous force,--this
divine gift of will-power, is hardly exercised at all by the majority
of men and women--hence their manner of drifting here and there--their
pliable yielding to this or that opinion--the easy sway obtained over
the million by a few leaders and reformers--the infectious follies
which possess whole communities at a time--the caprices of fashion--the
moods of society--all these are due to scattered will-power, which if
concentrated would indeed 'replenish the earth and subdue it.' But we
cannot teach the world, and therefore we must be content to teach and
train a few individuals only. And when you ask if it is possible always
to make the necessary effort of will, I answer yes,--of course it is
possible. The secret of it all is to resolve upon a firm attitude and
maintain it. If you encourage thoughts of fear, hesitation, disease,
trouble, decay, incompetency, failure and feebleness, you at once give
an impetus to the disintegrating forces within you to begin their
work--and you gradually become ill, timorous, and diseased in mind and
body. If, on the contrary, your thoughts are centred on health,
vitality, youth, joy, love and creativeness, you encourage all the
revivifying elements of your system to build up new nerve tissue and
fresh brain cells, as well as to make new blood. No scientist has ever
really discovered any logical cause why human beings should die--they
are apparently intended to live for an indefinite period. It is they
themselves who kill themselves,--even so-called 'accidents' are usually
the result of their own carelessness, recklessness or inattention to
warning circumstance. I am trying to put all this as simply as I can to
you,--there are hundreds of books which you might study, in which the
very manner of expression is so abstruse and involved that even the
most cultured intelligence can scarcely grasp it,--but what I have told
you is perfectly easy of comprehension,--the only difficulty lies in
its practical application. To-night, therefore, and for the remainder
of the time you are here, you will enter upon certain tests and trials
of your will-force--and the result of these will prove whether you are
strong enough to be successful in your quest of life and youth and
love. If you are capable of maintaining the true attitude,--if you can
find and keep the real centre-poise of the Divine Image within you, all
will be well. And remember, that if you once learn how to govern and
control the atomic forces within yourself, you will equally govern and
control all atomic forces which come within your atmosphere. This gives
you what would be called by the ignorant 'miraculous' power, though it
is no miracle. It is nothing more than the attitude of Spirit
controlling Matter. You will find yourself not only able to govern your
own forces but also to draw upon Nature for fresh supplies--the air,
the sunshine, the trees, the flowers, will give you all they have to
give on demand--and nothing shall be refused to you. 'Ask, and ye shall
receive--seek, and ye shall find--knock, and it shall be opened unto
you.' Naturally the law is, that what you receive you must give out
again in an ungrudging outflow of love and generosity and beneficence
and sympathy, not only towards mankind but to everything that
lives--for as you are told--'Give, and it shall be given unto you; good
measure, pressed down and shaken together and running over, shall men
give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal, it
shall be measured to you again.' These sayings of our greatest Master
are heard so often that they are considered by many people almost trite
and commonplace,--but they hold a truth from which we cannot escape.
Even such a little matter as a kind word is paid back to the one who
uttered it with a double interest of kindness, while a cruel or coarse
one carries its own punishment. Those who take without giving are
generally unsuccessful in their lives and aims--while those who give
without taking appear to be miraculously served by both fame and
fortune,--this being merely the enactment of the spiritual law."
"I do not want fame or fortune,"--I said--"Love is enough for me!"
Aselzion smiled.
"Enough for you indeed! My child, it is enough for all! If you have
love, you have entered into the secret mind of God! Love inspires all
nobleness, all endurance, all courage,--and I think you have some of
its attributes, for you have been bold in your first independent
essay--and it is this very boldness that has brought me here to speak
to you to-night. You have, of your own accord, and without preparation,
passed what we students and mystics call 'the first circle of fire,'
and you are therefore ready for the rest of your trial. So I will now
take you back to your own room and leave you there, for you must face
your ordeal alone."
My heart sank a little, but I said nothing, and watched him as he took
up the crystal globe, full of the darting lines and points of light
gleaming like imprisoned fire, and held it for a moment between his two
hands. Then he set it down again, and covered it as it had been covered
before. The next moment he had extinguished the lamp, and we stood
together in the pale brilliancy of the moonlight which now spread
itself in a broad path of silver across the sea. The tide was coming
in, and I heard the solemn sound of rising waves breaking rhythmically
upon the shore. In silence Aselzion took me by the hand and led me
through a low doorway out of the little hermitage into the open air,
where we stood within a few feet of the sea. The moonbeams bathed us in
a shower of pearly radiance, and I turned instinctively to look at my
companion. His face appeared transfigured into something of
supernatural beauty, and for one second the remembrance of how he had
said in the chapel that he carried the burden of seventy years upon him
flashed across me with a shock of surprise. Seventy years! He appeared
to be in the very prime and splendour of life, and the mere idea of age
as connected with him was absurd and incongruous. And while I gazed
upon him, wondering and fascinated, he lifted one hand as though in
solemn invocation to the stars that gleamed in their countless millions
overhead, and his voice, deep and musical, rang out softly yet clearly
on the silence:--
"O Supreme Guide of all the worlds created, accept this Soul which
seeks to be consecrated unto Thee! Help her to attain to all that shall
be for her wisdom and betterment, and make her one with that Nature
whereof she is born. Thou, silent and peaceful Night, invest her with
thy deep tranquillity!--thou, bright Moon, penetrate her spirit with
the shining in of holy dreams!--give her of thy strength and depth, O
Sea!--and may she draw from the treasures of the air all health, all
beauty, all life, all sweetness, so that her existence may be a joy to
the world, and her love a benediction! Amen!"
My whole being thrilled with a sense of keen rapture as he thus prayed
for me,--I could have knelt to him in reverence but that I
instinctively knew he would not wish this act of homage. I felt that it
was best to keep silence, and I obeyed his guiding touch as, still
holding my hand, he led me into a vaulted stone passage and up a long
winding stair at the head of which he paused, and taking a key from his
girdle, unlocked a small door.
"There is your room, my child,"--he said, with a grave kindliness which
moved me strangely--"Farewell! The future is with yourself alone."