THE BOSTON TEA-PARTY
One day when George III was insane he heard that the Americans never
had afternoon tea. This made him very obstinate and he invited them all
to a compulsory tea-party at Boston; the Americans, however, started
by pouring the tea into Boston Harbour and went on pouring things into
Boston Harbour until they were quite Independent, thus causing the
United States. These were also partly caused by Dick Washington who
defeated the English at Bunker’s Hill (“with his little mashie,” as he
told his father afterwards).
The War with the Americans is memorable as being the only war in which
the English were ever defeated, and it was unfair because the Americans
had _the Allies_ on their side. In some ways the war was really a draw,
since England remained top nation and had the Allies afterwards, while
the Americans, in memory of George III’s madness, still refuse to drink
tea and go on pouring anything the English send them to drink into
Boston Harbour.
After this the Americans made Wittington President and gave up speaking
English and became U.S.A. and Columbia and 100%, etc. This was a Good
Thing in the end, as it was a cause of the British Empire, but it
prevented America from having any more History.
[Illustration: 100%, etc.]