II.—WITH THE BOLSHEVIKS IN BERLIN
III.—AFTERNOON TEA WITH THE SULTAN
IV.—ECHOES OF THE WAR
1.—The Boy Who Came Back
2.—The War Sacrifices of Mr. Spugg
3.—If Germany Had Won
4.—War and Peace at the Galaxy Club
5.—The War News as I Remember it
I—THE CABLE NEWS FROM RUSSIA
II—SAMPLE OF SPECIAL CORRESPONDENCE
III—THE TECHNICAL WAR DESPATCHES
IV—THE WAR PROPHECIES
V—DIPLOMATIC REVELATIONS
VI—A NEW GERMAN PEACE FORMULA
VII—THE FINANCIAL NEWS
6.—Some Just Complaints About the War
7.—Some Startling Side Effects of the War
V.—OTHER IMPOSSIBILITIES
1.—The Art of Conversation
Introduction to H.E. the Viceroy of India, K.C.B.,
II—HOW TO OPEN A CONVERSATION
2.—Heroes and Heroines
3.—The Discovery of America;
4.—Politics from Within
5.—The Lost Illusions of Mr. Sims
6.—Fetching the Doctor: From Recollections of Childhood in the Canadian Countryside
LITERARY LAPSES
By Stephen Leacock
CONTENTS
LITERARY LAPSES
My Financial Career
Lord Oxhead's Secret
Boarding-House Geometry
The Awful Fate of Melpomenus Jones
A Christmas Letter
How to Make a Million Dollars
How to Live to be 200
How to Avoid Getting Married
How to be a Doctor
The New Food
A New Pathology
The Poet Answered
The Force of Statistics
Men Who have Shaved Me
Getting the Thread of It
Telling His Faults
Winter Pastimes
Number Fifty-Six
Aristocratic Education
The Conjurer's Revenge
Hints to Travellers
A Manual of Education
Hoodoo McFiggin's Christmas
The Life of John Smith
On Collecting Things
Society Chat-Chat
Insurance up to Date
Borrowing a Match
A Lesson in Fiction
Helping the Armenians
A Study in Still Life.—The Country Hotel
An Experiment With Policeman Hogan
The Passing of the Poet
Self-made Men
A Model Dialogue
Back to the Bush
Reflections on Riding
Saloonio
Half-hours with the Poets
PART I
PART II
PART III
A, B, and C
Acknowledgments
FRENZIED FICTION
By Stephen Leacock
CONTENTS
I. My Revelations as a Spy
II. Father Knickerbocker: A Fantasy
III. The Prophet in Our Midst
IV. Personal Adventures in the Spirit World
V. The Sorrows of a Summer Guest
VI. To Nature and Back Again
VII. The Cave-Man as He is
VIII. Ideal Interviews
I. WITH A EUROPEAN PRINCE
II. WITH OUR GREATEST ACTOR
III. WITH OUR GREATEST SCIENTIST
IV. WITH OUR TYPICAL NOVELISTS
IX. The New Education
X. The Errors of Santa Claus
XI. Lost in New York
XII. This Strenuous Age
XIII. The Old, Old Story of How Five Men Went Fishing
XIV. Back from the Land
XV. The Perplexity Column as Done by the Jaded Journalist
XVI. Simple Stories of Success, or How to Succeed in Life
XVII. In Dry Toronto
XVIII. Merry Christmas
FURTHER FOOLISHNESS
Sketches and Satires on The Follies of The Day
By Stephen Leacock
CONTENTS
PREFACE
FOLLIES IN FICTION
I. Stories Shorter Still
CHAPTER ONE AND ONLY
II. Snoopopaths; or, Fifty Stories in One
III. Foreign Fiction in Imported Instalments.
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
Movies and Motors, Men and Women
(II) THE MINISTER WHOSE CHURCH HE ATTENDS
(III) HIS PARTNER AT BRIDGE
(IV) HIS HOSTESS AT DINNER
(III)
X. A Study in Still Life—My Tailor
Peace, War, and Politics
XI. Germany from Within Out
XIII. In Merry Mexico
XIV. Over the Grape Juice; or, The Peacemakers
XV. The White House from Without In
Timid Thoughts on Timely Topics
XVI. Are the Rich Happy?
XVII. Humour as I See It
WINSOME WINNIE AND OTHER NEW NONSENSE NOVELS
By Steven Leacock
CONTENTS
I. WINSOME WINNIE; OR, TRIAL AND TEMPTATION 7
I. Thrown on the World 9
II. A Rencounter 14
III. Friends in Distress 18
IV. A Gambling Party in St. James's Close 24
V. The Abduction 28
VI. The Unknown 33
VII. The Proposal 36
VIII. Wedded at Last 42
II. JOHN AND I; OR, HOW I NEARLY LOST MY HUSBAND 43
III. THE SPLIT IN THE CABINET; OR, THE FATE OF ENGLAND 65
IV. WHO DO YOU THINK DID IT? OR, THE MIXED-UP MURDER MYSTERY 95
I. He Dined with Me Last Night 97
II. I must save her Life 100
III. I must buy a Book on Billiards 108
IV. That is not Billiard Chalk 112
V. Has anybody here seen Kelly? 113
VI. Show me the Man who wore those Boots 119
VII. Oh, Mr. Kent, save me! 123
VIII. You are Peter Kelly 127
IX. Let me tell you the Story of my Life 132
X. So do I 139
V. BROKEN BARRIERS; OR, RED LOVE ON A BLUE ISLAND 143
VI. THE KIDNAPPED PLUMBER: A TALE OF THE NEW TIME 177
VII. THE BLUE AND THE GREY: A PRE-WAR WAR STORY 205
VIII. BUGGAM GRANGE: A GOOD OLD GHOST STORY 225
THE UNSOLVED RIDDLE OF SOCIAL JUSTICE
By Stephen Leacock
CONTENTS
chapter page
I. The Troubled Outlook of the Present Hour 9
II. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness 33
III. The Failures and Fallacies of Natural Liberty 48
IV. Work and Wages 66
V. The Land of Dreams: The Utopia of the Socialist 88
VI. How Mr. Bellamy Looked Backward 103
VII. What Is Possible and What Is Not 124
BEHIND THE BEYOND
By Stephen Leacock
CONTENTS
BEHIND THE BEYOND 11
FAMILIAR INCIDENTS
I. With the Photographer 53
II. The Dentist and the Gas 61
III. My Lost Opportunities 69
IV. My Unknown Friend 74
V. Under the Barber's Knife 84
PARISIAN PASTIMES
I. The Advantages of a Polite Education 93
II. The Joys of Philanthropy 104
III. The Simple Life in Paris 117
IV. A Visit to Versailles 129
V. Paris at Night 143
THE RETROACTIVE EXISTENCE OF MR. JUGGINS 159
MAKING A MAGAZINE 169
HOMER AND HUMBUG 185
ILLUSTRATIONS
The Prologue Frontispiece
to face page
The curtain rises 12
Their expression is stamped with deep thought 28
He kisses her on the bare shoulder 30
He takes her in his arms 50
"Is it me?" 58
I did go—I kept the appointment 66
He showed me a church that I could have bought for a hundred thousand 72
I shall not try to be quite so extraordinarily clever 84
When he reached my face he looked searchingly at it 88
The tailor shrugged his shoulders 98
Something in the quiet dignity of the young man held me 114
The Parisian dog 120
Personally I plead guilty to something of the same spirit 142
The lady's face is aglow with moral enthusiasm 146
Meanwhile he had become a quaint-looking elderly man 166
With all the low cunning of an author stamped on his features 174
ADVENTURERS OF THE FAR NORTH
A Chronicle of the Frozen Seas
By Stephen Leacock
CONTENTS
Page
I. THE GREAT ELIZABETHAN NAVIGATORS 1
II. HEARNE'S OVERLAND JOURNEY TO THE NORTHERN OCEAN 34
III. MACKENZIE DESCENDS THE GREAT RIVER OF THE NORTH 70
IV. THE MEMORABLE EXPLOITS OF SIR JOHN FRANKLIN 89
V. THE TRAGEDY OF FRANKLIN'S FATE 112
VI. EPILOGUE. THE CONQUEST OF THE POLE 136
BIBLIOGRAPHICAL NOTE 147
INDEX 149