"Kultur belongs to my Germans alone," says the KAISER. We were
not aware that the charge had been brought against any other country.
* * *
"The Indians," complains the _Frankfurter Zeitung_, "have an
extraordinary way of fighting. They jump up, shoot with wonderful
precision, and disappear before one has time to notice them properly."
Our contemporary has evidently not been studying the pages of _Punch_,
or it would know that the disappearance is worked by the well-known
Indian trick of throwing a rope into the air and climbing up it.
* * *
Letters from the British troops operating in Damaraland show that the
prevailing complaint there is with respect to the heat; and a dear and
very thoughtful old lady writes to suggest that, as our men in Flanders
dislike the cold, it might be possible to arrange an exchange.
* * *
With reference to the attentions paid by German aeroplanes, the other
day, to the British provision establishments at Dunkirk, we understand
that the bombs which were dropped made no impression whatever on our
bully beef, so famous for its durability.
* * *
The Norwich Liberals have selected as their candidate Lieutenant
HILTON YOUNG, and it has been decided that the election
shall not be contested. It is realised that in time of war "_Le monde
appartient aux Jeunes_."
* * *
In his account of the dynamiting of the C. P. R. bridge over the St.
Croix river, REUTER tells us that "A German officer who
has been hanging around the neighbourhood for the past few days has
been arrested." We have a shrewd idea that he may be hanging in the
neighbourhood again very shortly.
* * *
We are surprised that the advocates of Mr. WILLETT'S Daylight
Saving Bill have been so quiet lately. Surely it would be an enormous
advantage to rush this measure through now so that the Germans may have
less darkness to take advantage of?
* * *
Dr. HANS RICHTER, the celebrated WAGNER conductor,
who enjoyed English hospitality for so long, has now expressed the
hope that Germany may punish England who has so profoundly disgraced
herself. It is even said that the amiable Doctor asked to be allowed to
conduct a Parsifal airship to this country.
* * *
Professor KOBERT, of Rostock University, one of Germany's
best-known chemists, is advocating a mixture of pig's blood and
rye-meal as a most nutritious form of bread for his countrymen.
There is, of course, already a certain amount of pig's blood in the
composition of some Germans.
* * *
Our newspapers really ought to be more careful. We feel quite sure
that the following paragraph in _The Daily Mail_ will be quoted in
the German Press as showing the Londoner's fears of a Zeppelin visit:
"The Golder's Green Training Corps yesterday morning mobilised eighty
motor-cars and drove out to Harpenden to see how quickly the corps
could get out of London in case of emergency."
* * *
_The Times_ has been discussing the question as to whether khaki is the
best protective colour for soldiers. In this connection it is worth
noting that the uniforms worn by the men of KITCHENER'S Army
appear to render them almost completely invisible to the correspondents
of German newspapers in this country, who report that there is only a
mere handful of these soldiers.
* * *
By the way Colonel MAUDE pointed out recently in _Land and
Water_ that it is essential that our gunners should be able to watch
our infantry closing on the enemy, and that in this respect khaki is a
drawback. We now hear that the wide-awake Germans are taking the hint,
and that their new uniforms will have scarlet backs, which will not
only help their artillery, but will act as a powerful deterrent should
their troops think of running away.
* * *
Extract from a Book Merchant's Catalogue:--"I venture to assert no
more acceptable gift could be sent to our Heroes on Active Service
than a few cwts. of Literature. A book is the best of all companions
and always useful, for one in the breast pocket has been the means of
saving many a man's life in action." A Society for supplying every
recruit with a complete set of _The Encyclopædia Britannica_ is now, we
believe, in process of formation.
* * *
A book which is stated to have been "kept back on account of the war"
is entitled _Hell's Playground_. One would have thought it would have
been peculiarly _à propos_.
* * *
A live frog has been discovered embedded in a piece of coal hewn from a
colliery in the Forest of Dean. It is thought that the colliery owners,
by means of a series of bonuses like this, intend to make their coal
look almost worth the price that is now being charged for it.
* * *
Frankly we were not surprised to hear that the moon was full a little
while ago. In these times our own planet is certainly not a very
desirable place.
* * *
It is now stated that Herr LIEBKNECHT, the Socialist leader,
who was called to the colours a few days ago, has been relieved of
service in the Landwehr. This is most annoying as it throws out all the
carefully calculated figures of our experts as to the number of men
Germany is putting into the field.
* * *
Even the Censor nods occasionally. _The Tailor and Cutter_ has been
allowed to state that a Holborn tailor is making a uniform for a
sergeant in KITCHENER'S Army who stands 6 ft. 8 ins. high.
The fact that we have a man of these dimensions in reserve was, we
understand, to have been one of our surprises for Germany.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Small Military Enthusiast._ "AUNTIE, DO YOU MIND IF
I MAKE THE GERMANS WIN JUST ONE BATTLE NOW AND THEN? THEY'RE GETTING
WORN OUT."]
* * * * *