KILMAINHAM DAYS
"_Love is not a flower that grows on the dull earth;
Springs by the calendar; must wait for the sun.
* * * * * * *
E'en while you look the peerless flower is up
Consummate in the birth._"--J. S. KNOWLES.
At the news of the arrest a wave of indignation swept through
Ireland. In Dublin there were riots. In many places shops were
closed and towns and villages went into mourning as if for the death
of a king.
Five days later the Land League countered the arrest by issuing the
No Rent manifesto.
Parnell was really opposed to it. Dillon openly so, but the majority
of the leaders then in Kilmainham Gaol approved of it, and it was
signed and published in _United Ireland_ on October 17th. The
signature is interesting, it runs thus:--
"Charles S. Parnell, President, Kilmainham Gaol; A. J. Kettle,
Honorary Secretary, Kilmainham Gaol; Michael Davitt, Honorary
Secretary, Portland Prison; Thomas Brennan, Honorary Secretary,
Kilmainham Gaol; Thomas Geston, Head Organizer, Kilmainham Gaol;
Patrick Egan, Treasurer, Paris."
Meanwhile arrests and evictions went on all over Ireland, and the
Coercion Act was used mercilessly and unscrupulously on behalf of the
landlords. The Ladies' Land League and its president, Miss Anna
Parnell, became very busy.
* * * * * *
{120}
From the time of Parnell's arrest onward until the birth of his child
in the following February I lived a curiously subconscious existence;
pursuing the usual routine of my life at home and with my aunt, but
feeling that all that was of life in me had gone with my lover to
prison, and only came back to me in the letters that were my only
mark of time. I had to be careful now; Willie became solicitous for
my health, and wished to come to Eltham more frequently than I would
allow. He thought February would seal our reconciliation, whereas I
knew it would cement the cold hatred I felt towards him, and
consummate the love I bore my child's father.
_October_ 14, 1881.
My OWN DEAREST WIFIE,--I have found a means of communicating with
you, and of your communicating in return.
Please put your letters into enclosed envelope, first putting
them into an inner envelope, on the joining of which you can
write your initials with a similar pencil to mine, and they will
reach me all right.
I am very comfortable here, and have a beautiful room facing the
sun--the best in the prison. There are three or four of the best
of the men in adjoining rooms with whom I can associate all day
long, so that time does not hang heavy nor do I feel lonely. My
only fear is about my darling Queenie. I have been racked with
torture all to-day, last night, and yesterday, lest the shock may
have hurt you or our child. Oh, darling, write or wire me as
soon as you get this that you are well and will try not to be
unhappy until you see your husband again. You may wire me here.
I have your beautiful face with me here; it is such a comfort. I
kiss it every morning. YOUR KING.
KILMAINHAM,
_October_ 17, 1881.
MY DEAR MRS. O'SHEA,--I was very much pleased to receive your two
letters, which reached me safely after having {121} been duly
perused by the Governor. I am also writing to Captain O'Shea's
Paris address to acknowledge his.
The last letter which you directed to Morrison's also reached me.
If you have not done so already, please inquire in London about
the messages you were expecting, and about any others that may
arrive in future, and let me know in your next whether you have
received them.
This prison is not at all damp, although the air on the north
side is rather so, but I am on the south side, and am so far
exceedingly comfortable and not in the slightest degree dull. We
are allowed to play ball, and you will be glad to hear that I won
my first game against one of the best and most practised players
in the place, although I have not played for twenty years.
I have received the _Times, Engineer, Engineering, Mining
Journal, Pall Mall Gazette, Universe_, from a London office, also
the _Engineer_ directed in your handwriting.
Shall be delighted to hear from you as often as you care to
write.--Yours always, C. S. P.
When you write again, please let me know how you are. I have
been very anxious for news on that point.
_October_ 19, 1881.
MY OWN DARLING QUEENIE,--I have just received your charming
little letter of Tuesday, which I have been anxiously expecting
for the last week. It has taken an enormous load off my mind. I
shall send you a long letter to-morrow or next day, but for the
present you had better not come over, as there are five or six
other men in rooms adjacent to mine who find out about everybody
who visits me. Besides, you would not be permitted to see me
except in presence of two warders, and it might only make you
more unhappy.
You must not be alarmed about rumours that the Government have
evidence that we are involved in a treasonable conspiracy. There
is absolutely no foundation whatever for such a statement, and it
is only made to defend their own proceedings.
Dearest little Queenie, keep up your spirits. I am very {122}
comfortable and very well, and expect to see my darling before
the New Year.
Don't put my name in inner envelope in future, as if opened it
might implicate others.
_October_ 21, 1881.
MY OWN DARLING WIFIE,--I wrote you a short note this afternoon,
which I succeeded in getting off safely. Now after we have been
all locked up safely for the night, and when everything is quiet
and I am alone, I am going to send my own Queenie some news. But
first I must tell you that I sleep exceedingly well, and am
allowed to read the newspapers in bed in the morning, and
breakfast there also, if I wish.
I want, however, to give you a little history from the
commencement of my stay here.
When I heard that the detectives were asking for me a terror--one
which has often been present with me in anticipation--fell upon
me, for I remembered that my darling had told me that she feared
it would kill her; and I kept the men out of my room while I was
writing you a few hasty words of comfort and of hope, for I knew
the shock would be very terrible to my sweet love.
I feared that I could not post it, but they stopped the cab just
before reaching the prison and allowed me to drop the letter into
a pillar-box. My only torture during those first few days was
the unhappiness of my queen. I wired Mrs. S. to know how you
were, but the wire was sent back with a note that it could not be
delivered as she had gone to R. Finally your first letter came,
and then I knew for the first time that you were safe. You must
not mind my being in the infirmary. I am only there because it
is more comfortable than being in a cell, and you have longer
hours of association, from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., instead of being
locked up at 6 and obliged to eat by yourself. The infirmary is
a collection of rooms, and each has a room to himself--Dillon is
in a cell, but he is allowed as a special privilege to come over
and associate with us during the daytime. I am obliged to invent
little maladies for myself from day to day in order to give Dr.
Kenny an excuse for keeping me in the infirmary, but I have never
felt better in {123} my life. Have quite forgotten that I am in
prison, and should very much miss the rattle of the keys and the
slam of the doors. The latest discovery is heart affection.
The only thing I don't like is that the Government insist upon
sending a lot of police into the gaol every night, two of whom
sleep against my door and two more under my window. Just at
present we are all in great disgrace on account of the manifesto,
and the poor warders have been most of them dismissed and fresh
ones brought in. A very strict watch is kept, and I have been
obliged to exert my ingenuity to get letters out to you and to
get yours in return. If Wifie is very good and becomes strong
and happy again I may let her come over and see me after a time,
but for five days more I am not to be allowed to see any visitor,
but I will write you again about your coming. They have let us
off very easily. I fully expected that we should have been
scattered in different gaols through the country as a punishment,
but they evidently think no other place safe enough for me.
Indeed, this place is not safe, and I can get out whenever I
like, but it is probably the best policy to wait to be released.
And now good-night, my own dear little Wifie. Promise your
husband that you will sleep well and look as beautiful when we
meet again as the last time I pressed your sweet lips. YOUR OWN
HUSBAND.
_October_ 26, 1881.
MY DEAR MRS. O'SHEA,--Many thanks for your kind letter. I am
anxiously waiting for another note from you to say that you have
quite recovered from the indisposition you speak of.
I was in hopes that time would pass mote slowly in prison than
outside, but it seems to pass quite as quickly as anywhere else
except those hours at Eltham.--Yours always, C. S. P.
_October_ 28, 1881.
MY DEAR MRS. O'SHEA,--Not having heard from you this week, I
write this to say that I hope you are better, and that the
absence of a letter from you is not to be attributed to any
increase in the indisposition of which you spoke in your last.
{124}
I am glad to be able to tell you that I am exceedingly well.
Health and spirits never better.--Yours very truly, CHAS. S.
PARNELL.
_November_ 1, 1881.
MY DEAR MRS. O'SHEA,--Thanks very much for your letters and
telegram.
I was rather indisposed yesterday, but am very much better
to-day. I am told that everybody gets a turn after they have
been here for three or four weeks, but that they then become all
right. I write you this lest you and other friends should be
troubled by exaggerated reports in the newspapers.
My esteemed friend Mr. Forster has become very disagreeable
lately. He refuses to allow me to see my solicitor except in
presence and hearing of two warders, so I have declined to see
him at all. He also refuses to allow me to see visitors except
in the cage, which I have also declined to do, but probably
things may be relaxed again after a time.--Yours very truly, C.
S. P.
Parnell had a certain visitor who was permitted to see him in
Kilmainham on his "necessary and private" business, though not alone,
and this gentleman was able to take his letters out, and bring them
to him, unobserved, and after putting them into another outer
envelope address them to "Mrs. Carpenter" at an address in London,
whence I fetched them. Or sometimes he would send a formal letter to
me at Eltham enclosing one addressed to some political or other
personage. If Willie were at Eltham I would show him this note
asking me to post enclosure on a certain date. The enclosure was, of
course, to me--sent thus to keep me from the fatigue of going to town
so often. The Governor of Kilmainham for some reason became
suspicious of Parnell's visitor, and forbade his interviews except in
the close proximity of two warders selected by himself, and Parnell
refused to see him at all {125} under these restrictions. He wrote
me a friendly letter then, telling me this, and other little news of
his prison life, as to an ordinary acquaintance, and addressed it
direct to Eltham, sending it to be approved by the Governor and
posted in the ordinary way. In this letter, that anyone might have
seen, there was a message by a private sign to go to the house in
town for a letter within a few days. On doing so, I found my letter
as usual, posted by a friendly warder, and contained in it was a
recipe for invisible ink, and this ink could only be "developed" by
one particular formula, a combination known only to one chemist. We
were saved an infinity of trouble and anxiety, as we could now write
between the lines of an ordinary or typewritten letter without
detection, and it was no longer essential to get a third person to
direct the envelopes. In time the Governor again became suspicious,
and the friendly warder was dismissed--or Parnell was told so.
However, this was only a temporary inconvenience, as Parnell was able
in a couple of days to reorganize his communications with me, and
this time they were not broken.
_November_ 2, 1881.
I have just succeeded in having my communications, which were cut
for a while, restored, and have received your letter of Friday
night. In writing me please always acknowledge receipt of my
letters by their date. I have quite recovered. My illness did
me good, and I have a first-rate appetite.
You must not mind reports about my health. In fact, our "plots"
have been completely disarranged by the necessity of writing and
wiring my Queenie that there is nothing the matter with me.
I hope to be able to arrange to see you as soon as I hear that W.
is firmly fixed.
I look at my beautiful Queen's face every night before I {126} go
to bed and long for the time when I may be with you again. Only
for that I should be happier here than anywhere else.
_November_ 5, 1881.
MY DARLING WIFIE,--When I received your dear letter to-day I had
just time to send you a few hasty lines in acknowledgment; now
when everything is quiet and with your own sweet face before me I
can give my thoughts up entirely to my Queen, and talk to you
almost as well as if you were in my arms. It seems to me a long,
long time since our hasty good-bye, although the first three
weeks of my present life--which term will have been completed
to-morrow morning--has seemed only a moment. I often feel very
sad when I think of poor, unhappy Katie waiting for her husband
who does not come any longer as he used to come, but who will
come again to her and will not again leave her.
I am trying to make arrangements that my own Queenie may come to
me this time. I shall ask my ruler here if I may see my cousin,
"Mrs. Bligh, who is coming from England to see me," in his
office, and with only himself present. After all, darling, the
only way in which I could have escaped being here would have been
by going to America, and then I could not have seen you at all,
and I know I should not have been so happy or so comfortable in
America as here, and, besides, I should have been beset by so
many dangers there.
I admire supremely my life of ease, laziness, absence of care and
responsibility here. My only trouble is about your health and
happiness and this has been my only trouble from the first.
Queenie, then, will see that she also must try not to be so
unhappy, especially as her husband's love is becoming stronger
and more intense every hour and every day.
You will be anxious to know what my short illness was about. It
was of a very unromantic kind--not the heart, but the stomach. I
had not much appetite for some days, and was tempted by a turkey
to eat too much, thence very severe indigestion and considerable
pain for about an hour. However "our doctor," by means of
mustard and chlorodyne, got me all right again, and my appetite
is now as good as ever. In fact, I have gotten over very quickly
the "mal du prison" {127} which comes on everybody sooner or
later more or less severely.
One of the men in this quarter who has been here for nearly nine
months, poor fellow, looks after me as if he was my--brother, I
was going to say, but I will substitute Mary.[1] He makes me a
soda and lemon in the morning, and then gives me my breakfast.
At dinner he takes care that I get all the nicest bits and
concocts the most perfect black coffee in a "Kaffee Kanne" out of
berries, which he roasts and grinds fresh each day. Finally, in
the evening, just before we are separated for the night, he brews
me a steaming tumbler of hot whisky. He has marked all my
clothes for me also, and sees that the washerwoman does not rob
me. Don't you begin to feel quite jealous?
I am going to ask Katie to put her proper initials upon the inner
envelope of her next letter---thus, K. P. Your writing on the
outside envelope of the one which came to-day will do splendidly.
I do not think there is the least probability of my being moved;
this is the strongest place they have, and they are daily trying
to increase its strength according to their own notions, which
are not very brilliant. My room is very warm and perfectly dry.
They wanted me to go to another, which did not face the sun, but
I refused, so they did not persist.
With a thousand kisses to my own Wifie, and hoping soon to lay my
head in its old place.
Good-night, my darling.
_November_ 7, 1881.
I did not advertise in _Standard_.
MY DARLING QUEENIE,--Your two letters received, and King is very
much troubled about you.
I am very warm--have fire and gas in my room all night if I want
it.
Dearest Wifie must try and get back her spirits and good looks
for her own husband's sake. C. S. P.
_November_ 12, 1881.
MY DARLING WIFIE,--I have received my darling's letter {128} of
the 9th quite safely, also the enclosure in the previous one,
which I will keep as you wish it; but I shall not want it, my own
love.
The statement about the food was only to prepare the way to get
up a collection in the country so as to save the American money
for other purposes.
We think of announcing by and by that we have gone on Government
food, and then start the subscription, as there is no other way
of getting money from the country. In any case, this could not
affect me, as I am in the infirmary, and should be entitled to
get whatever Dr. Kenny orders for me. Wifie may depend upon it
that whatever happens we shall take good care of ourselves; at
present we are living upon all the good things of the
world--game, etc. The authorities have intimated to me twice
that I may go out if I will say that I will go abroad, but I have
replied that I am not in any hurry, and that when I go out I
shall go or stay where I please. In fact, I much prefer to wait
here till the meeting of Parliament.
Will write Wifie a long letter to-morrow.
YOUR OWN KING.
_November_ 14, 1881.
MY OWN QUEENIE,--Your husband continues very well, and very much
contented with the position of things outside.
I am told the Government don't exactly know what to do with us
now they have got us, and will take the first decent excuse which
presents itself of sending us about our business.
Queenie's letters give me great comfort, as I think I see by them
she is not quite so unhappy as she was, and has more hope of
seeing her King soon again. I am in a continual state of alarm,
however, lest something may hurt you.
ALWAYS YOUR KING.
_Saturday._
MY OWN QUEENIE,--I hope my darling will not hurt herself going
after those letters. I have got some paper to write direct to
you, and shall try one on Monday. I do not use it for writing to
anybody else, so that Queenie need not be afraid {129} of that,
but she should write very lightly, and with a gold pen.
My own little Wifie, I so wish I could be with you to comfort and
take care of you, but will you not try to care for yourself, my
darling, for my sake?
YOUR OWN LOVING KING.
MY DEAREST QUEENIE,--I write hastily to say that I am receiving
your darling letters all right, though the watch is very close,
and it is difficult to get them either out or in.
I am exceedingly well, sleep very well, go to bed at ten or
eleven, or whenever I like, get up at nine, or whenever I like.
Do, beautiful Wifie, take care of yourself and your King's child.
_November_ 18, 1881.
Use thinner letter paper in future, as envelopes are suspiciously
bulky.
Your own King continues very well, and has received your two
letters safely.
Our mutual friend is waiting for me at present, and probably has
some more for me and will take this. I have just heard on good
authority that they intend to move me to Armagh the end of this
week or beginning of next in order to give me an opportunity of
escaping while there. However, they may change their mind, and
in any case it will make no difference to me personally. Armagh
is healthier and nicer in every way, I am told by our Chief W.,
who comes from there. I am also told, on the same authority who
informed me of projected move to Armagh, that we shall be
certainly all released before Christmas.
I am disposed to think I have got heavier, but shall know
to-morrow when I weigh.
Best love to our child.
YOUR LOVING HUSBAND.
_November_ 21, 1881.
MY OWN QUEENIE,--Yours of the 18th has reached me safely, and
though I am relieved to know that my darling is {130} a little
less miserable, yet I am still very much troubled and anxious
about you. Has he[2] left yet? It is frightful that you should
be exposed to such daily torture. My own Wifie must try and
strengthen herself, and get some sleep for her husband's sake and
for our child's sake, who must be suffering much also.
I am convinced that if it had not been for the unfortunate result
of Tyrone I should not be here. I hope that Stafford may be
followed by another success in Derry, and that it may open their
eyes to the danger of their present proceedings. I can really
honestly tell Wifie that my health is not only as good, but
better than it has been at any time for the last twelve months.
I don't know who it was sent me the quilt; I am sending it to
Wicklow, as it is green--a colour I detest. I don't want it here
at all, as there are too many things on my bed as it is.
EVER YOUR OWN KING.
The Woolwich or Charlton post offices will do very well when you
recommence writing.
_November_ 29, 1881.
MY OWN QUEENIE,--I was very happy in receiving my darling's
letter of yesterday to-day. My messenger was looking very
frightened, and fears his letters may be opened any day. So
perhaps it will be safest for Wifie not to write again for a few
days, until I see further, or until I can manage another address.
I can manage, however, to write my Queenie two or three times a
week. You must not be frightened if you see we have all gone on
P. F.[3] It will not be so as far as we are concerned here, and
will only be for a week as regards the others, but Wifie must not
tell anybody that I have not done so, as it would create
discontent amongst the others. The man who has been taking care
of me is going out to-morrow, and will be a loss to me. He has
been very ill during the last week from bad sore throat, and was
very nearly suffocated the night before last, so I sent O'Gorman
Mahon to Forster about him, with the desired effect of getting
his {131} discharge. One of the others will supply his place to
me, but not so well.
Have not been weighed yet, but will to-morrow. I think Wifie has
my last weight. After eight at night I read books, newspapers,
and write until about twelve or one, when I go to bed. I also
think a good deal of my own darling during that time when
everything is quiet, and wonder how soon I shall be with you
again.
The time is passing rather more slowly this month than the first,
but still it is not yet monotonous.
With best love.
_Thursday._
MY OWN QUEENIE,--I have just received your two letters, one of
Tuesday, the other 25th, and am enormously relieved to find you
are well. You can direct the next envelopes in a feigned hand;
it is safer than sending you any more. The outside envelope of
yours of the 25th appears to have been tampered with, but the
inside one is all right. I am trying to arrange that you may see
me as soon as he[4] is gone to Madrid, and you become quite
strong, and will write you more fully about it to-morrow. ALWAYS
YOUR KING.
Gum your inside envelopes well. There is no risk of my being
moved.
_December_ 3, 1881.
MY OWN QUEENIE,--Your letter of the 1st has just reached me.
You ought to have had a note by the 1st explaining about P. fare,
and suggesting caution until another means of communication can
be found, as my messenger fears his letters may be opened any day.
I am exceedingly well, and am not really on prison fare, as we
can get anything we want here.
Am rejoiced to learn that Wifie hopes our child will be strong--I
think it ought to have a good constitution.
All my pains and aches have quite disappeared, and I have become
quite acclimatized, I expect to be so fresh when I {132} get out
that even Wifie won't be able to hold me, although her bonds are
very strong and pleasant.
ALWAYS YOUR KING.
_Tuesday, December_ 6, 1881.
MY QUEENIE,--I have not yet been able to arrange other means of
communication for my own darling, but hope to do so shortly.
Her dear letter of the 1st has reached me quite safely, but it
would be a risk for her to write again to the same place. In any
case I will send you in my next a prescription which will enable
you to write ordinary letters with something added.
Your King never felt nearly so well in his life before. The
strong exercise, ball-playing, which I have missed very much
during the last few years of my life, is improving me immensely,
as strong exercise always agreed with me.
YOUR OWN KING.
_Wednesday, December_ 7, 1881.
MY OWN QUEENIE,--You may see a paragraph about my health in the
_Freeman_ of Friday which may worry you, so write to say that it
is very much exaggerated for the purpose of preventing a change
in our rooms to some which are not in any way so nice.
I have caught a slight cold, which the doctor thinks will pass
off in a day or two.
I will write you direct to-morrow with the secret ink of which
the prescription is on the other side. No. 1 is for writing, No.
2 is for bringing it out. Wifie may write me with this to the
same address as usual and in the same way, but she should write
also with ordinary ink on the first page of the letter something
as follows:
DEAR SIR,--I have yours of ---- inst., and will pay attention to
the directions given.--Yours truly, R. CAMPBELL.
The secret handwriting should be with a clean quill pen, and should
be written lightly.
I feel much better this afternoon than I did this morning.
ALWAYS YOUR LOVING HUSBAND.
{133}
You had best test the No. 1 solution by attempting to bring it out
with No. 2. If it does not come out well increase the strength of
both solutions. Use unglazed rough paper. Do not be worried,
darling, and take good care of our child.
_Friday, December_ 9, 1881.
MY OWN QUEENIE,--I wired you yesterday as I was dreadfully
frightened about the effect the par in _Freeman_ would have on
you, and hope you did not get into overmuch trouble about
telegram.
The feverish cold quite passed away yesterday after one night,
and I am up to-day but keeping a poor mouth, so as to try to
baulk a pretty scheme for moving us from our present rooms into
others where they think we will be safer. You must not pay any
attention to O. D.'s account, as it was carefully got up.
I don't eat bread, only for breakfast, but D. and I have each two
raw chops smuggled in daily which we do for ourselves, and we
also make our own tea.
We also always have a cold ham in stock--Queenie must not think I
am deceiving her about anything--I never felt as well in my life
as when I wrote to tell her so the evening before I was taken
ill, and next morning I woke with a hot head.
At present I am getting all my food from the Governor's kitchen,
and it is excellent.
We hope by the row we are making to compel Government to make the
food sufficiently good to satisfy the men and take expense of
their keep off our resources.
In future you had best brush any letters I write you to E. with
No. 2 solution, as, unless you desire me not to do so, I will
write you for the future alternately to E. and W. Place so as to
save you the trouble and fatigue of going to London so often.
ALWAYS YOUR OWN HUSBAND.
_December_ 13, 1881.
MY OWN QUEENIE,--Your two letters have reached me quite safely
and are all right.
I am quite well again now, and could go out were it not that the
weather is so cold that the doctor does not think it prudent.
{134}
I hope my darling is well and has not been hurt by the anxiety.
My mind has been in the utmost distress about my Wifie and her
child all the week, and you do not know what a relief your
telegram from London was.
_December_ 14, 1881.
MY DARLING QUEENIE,--Your second letter reached me all right, and
I can read them perfectly. But, my darling, you frighten me
dreadfully when you tell me that I am "surely killing" you and
our child.
I am quite well again now, my own, and was out to-day for a short
time, and will take much better care of myself for the future.
It was not the food, but a chill after over-heating myself at
ball. But I do not intend to go back on prison fare, even
nominally, again, as the announcement that we were on it has
served the purpose of stimulating the subscription.
Rather than that my beautiful Wifie should run any risk I will
resign my seat, leave politics, and go away somewhere with my own
Queenie, as soon as she wishes; will she come? Let me know,
darling, in your next about this, whether it is safe for you that
I should be kept here any longer.
YOUR OWN HUSBAND.
There can be no doubt we shall be released at opening of
Parliament, but I think not sooner.
Dr. K. was allowed to be with me at night while I was ill, and we
are not to be changed from our rooms.
_December_ 15, 1881.
MY OWN DARLING QUEENIE,--Nothing in the world is worth the risk
of any harm or injury to you. How could I ever live without my
own Katie?--and if you are in danger, my darling, I will go to
you at once.
Dearest Wifie, your letter has frightened me more than I can tell
you. Do write, my darling, and tell me that you are better. I
have had nothing from you for several days. I am quite well and
strong again.
We have made arrangements so that everybody will be allowed to
feed himself for the future, the poorer men getting so much a
week. YOUR OWN HUSBAND.
{135}
_December_ 16, 1881.
MY OWN QUEENIE,--I think it will be best to make the change you
suggest in yours of yesterday, but you need not trouble or
fatigue yourself about it immediately.
I am going on all right, darling, and expect to have another game
of ball to-morrow, but shall take care not to heat myself.
I could not very well make any arrangement or enter into any
undertaking with Government unless I retired altogether from
politics.
Your letter has relieved me very much. I have been dreadfully
frightened about you for the last week. Do take care of
yourself, my own darling, and I will also take good care of
myself for the future.
We have both to live for each other for many happy years together.
You need not write near so heavily or use so much ink, and it
would be also better to have a softer paper, more like blotting
paper. YOUR OWN KING.
_December_ 22, 1881.
Many happy returns of Christmas, my own darling. Though your
husband cannot be with you this time, he looks forward to very
many happy returns with you.
I am very, very happy that my own Wifie is better, and that she
has been relieved from some of the intolerable annoyance for a
time.
Your husband is quite well. We have succeeded in getting our new
exercise ground.
ALWAYS YOUR LOVING KING.
_Xmas Eve._
Letters of 22nd and 23rd arrived safely.
MY OWN QUEENIE,--Just as the coming day is approaching I send my
own love what she has asked me for, and trust that it will make
her forget our squabble of last Xmas Day, as I had long since
forgotten it.
My darling, you are and always will be everything to me, and
every day you become more and more, if possible, more than
everything to me.
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[Illustration: FACSIMILE OF LETTER ON p. 134]
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Queenie need not be in the least anxious about me. I have been
getting my meals from the Governor's kitchen up to the present,
but to-morrow we return to the old arrangement of being supplied
from the outside. Nominally we are to get only one meal a day
from the outside, but in reality they will permit those who wish
and can afford it to get the other two meals as well from
outside, at their own expense, of course, and those who are with
me in these quarters intend to do this. I do not receive any
letters from any ladies I know, except one from Mrs. S., shortly
after I came here. She wrote to sympathize, and said she had
been ill. I replied after a time, asking how _you_ were, but
forgot to ask how _she_ was, and she has not written since. Am
glad to say that none of my "young women" have written.
Let me know as soon as he goes and I will write you home.
Government are not likely to go out for a while, but they will
scarcely go out without letting me out first.
YOUR OWN KING.
_December_ 30, 1881.
MY OWN QUEENIE,--Your two letters just received but not read yet.
I hope Wifie is sleeping better and getting stronger like her
husband.
I am very nervous about the doctors, and you should at all events
tell one of them the right time, so that he may be on hand,
otherwise you may not have one at all. It will never do to run
this risk.
I will write Queenie a long letter to-night.
[1] My parlourmaid.
[2] Captain O'Shea was staying at Eltham for some days.
[3] Prison fare.
[4] Captain O'Shea.
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