In my first description of the company in which I pass
most of my time, it may be remembered that I mentioned
a great affliction which my friend Sir Roger had met with
in his youth,--which was no less than a disappointment
in love. It happened this evening that we fell into a very (15)
pleasing walk at a distance from his house. As soon as
we came into it, "It is," quoth the good old man, looking
round him with a smile, "very hard that any part of my
land should be settled upon one who has used me so ill
as the perverse widow did; and yet I am sure I could
not see a sprig of any bough of this whole walk of trees
but I should reflect upon her and her severity. She has
certainly the finest hand of any woman in the world.
You are to know this was the place wherein I used to (105: 5)
muse upon her; and by that custom I can never come
into it but the same tender sentiments revive in my mind,
as if I had actually walked with that beautiful creature
under these shades. I have been fool enough to carve
her name on the bark of several of these trees; so unhappy (10)
is the condition of men in love to attempt the removing
of their passion by the methods which serve only
to imprint it deeper. She has certainly the finest hand
of any woman in the world."
Here followed a profound silence; and I was not displeased (15)
to observe my friend falling so naturally into a
discourse which I had ever before taken notice he industriously
avoided. After a very long pause, he entered
upon an account of this great circumstance in his life,
with an air which I thought raised my idea of him above (20)
what I had ever had before; and gave me the picture of
that cheerful mind of his before it received that stroke
which has ever since affected his words and actions. But
he went on as follows:
"I came to my estate in my twenty-second year, and (25)
resolved to follow the steps of the most worthy of my
ancestors who have inhabited this spot of earth before
me, in all the methods of hospitality and good neighbourhood,
for the sake of my fame, and in country sports and
recreations, for the sake of my health. In my twenty-third
year I was obliged to serve as sheriff of the county;
and in my servants, officers, and whole equipage, indulged
the pleasure of a young man, who did not think ill of his
own person, in taking that public occasion of showing my (106: 5)
figure and behaviour to advantage. You may easily imagine
to yourself what appearance I made, who am pretty tall,
rid well, and was very well dressed, at the head of a whole
county, with music before me, a feather in my hat, and
my horse well bitted. I can assure you I was not a little (10)
pleased with the kind looks and glances I had from all
the balconies and windows, as I rode to the hall where
the assizes were held. But when I came there, a beautiful
creature in a widow's habit sat in court, to hear the
event[65] of a cause concerning her dower. This commanding (15)
creature (who was born for destruction of all who behold
her) put on such a resignation in her countenance,
and bore the whispers of all around the court with such
a pretty uneasiness, I warrant you, and then recovered
herself from one eye to another, till she was perfectly confused (20)
by meeting something so wistful in all she encountered,
that at last, with a murrain to her,[66] she cast her
bewitching eye upon me. I no sooner met it but I bowed
like a great surprised booby; and, knowing her cause to
be the first which came on, I cried, like a captivated calf (25)
as I was, 'Make way for the defendant's witnesses!' This
sudden partiality made all the county immediately see the
sheriff also was become a slave to the fine widow. During
the time her cause was upon trial, she behaved herself,
I warrant you, with such a deep attention to her
business, took opportunities to have little billets handed
to her counsel, then would be in such a pretty confusion, (107: 5)
occasioned, you must know, by acting before so much
company, that not only I but the whole court was prejudiced
in her favour; and all that the next heir to her husband
had to urge was thought so groundless and frivolous
that, when it came to her counsel to reply, there was not (10)
half so much said as every one besides in the court
thought he could have urged to her advantage. You
must understand, sir, this perverse woman is one of those
unaccountable creatures that secretly rejoice in the admiration
of men, but indulge themselves in no further (15)
consequences. Hence it is that she has ever had a train
of admirers, and she removes from her slaves in town to
those in the country according to the seasons of the year.
She is a reading lady, and far gone in the pleasures of
friendship; she is always accompanied by a confidante, (20)
who is witness to her daily protestations against our sex,
and consequently a bar to her first steps towards love,
upon the strength of her own maxims and declarations.
[65] Outcome, issue. Notice the etymology of the word.
[66] With a plague upon her!
"However, I must needs say this accomplished mistress
of mine has distinguished me above the rest, and (25)
has been known to declare Sir Roger de Coverley was the
tamest and most human of all the brutes in the country.
I was told she said so by one who thought he rallied me;
but, upon the strength of this slender encouragement of
being thought least detestable, I made new liveries, new-paired
my coach-horses, sent them all to town to be bitted
and taught to throw their legs well and move altogether,
before I pretended to cross the country and wait upon
her. As soon as I thought my retinue suitable to the (108: 5)
character of my fortune and youth, I set out from hence
to make my addresses. The particular skill of this lady
has ever been to inflame your wishes and yet command
respect. To make her mistress of this art, she has a
greater share of knowledge, wit, and good sense than is (10)
usual even among men of merit. Then she is beautiful
beyond the race of women. If you won't let her go on
with a certain artifice with her eyes, and the skill of
beauty, she will arm herself with her real charms, and
strike you with admiration instead of desire. It is certain (15)
that, if you were to behold the whole woman, there
is that dignity in her aspect, that composure in her
motion, that complacency in her manner, that if her form
makes you hope, her merit makes you fear. But then
again, she is such a desperate scholar that no country (20)
gentleman can approach her without being a jest. As I
was going to tell you, when I came to her house I was
admitted to her presence with great civility; at the same
time she placed herself to be first seen by me in such an
attitude, as I think you call the posture of a picture, that (25)
she discovered new charms, and I at last came towards
her with such an awe as made me speechless. This she
no sooner observed but she made her advantage of it,
and began a discourse to me concerning love and honour,
as they both are followed by pretenders, and the real
votaries to them. When she had discussed these points
in a discourse which I verily believe was as learned as
the best philosopher in Europe could possibly make, she
asked me whether she was so happy as to fall in with my (109: 5)
sentiments on these important particulars. Her confidante
sat by her, and upon my being in the last confusion
and silence, this malicious aid of hers, turning to her,
says, 'I am very glad to observe Sir Roger pauses upon
this subject, and seems resolved to deliver all his sentiments (10)
upon the matter when he pleases to speak.' They
both kept their countenances, and after I had sat half an
hour meditating how to behave before such profound
casuists, I rose up and took my leave. Chance has since
that time thrown me very often in her way, and she as (15)
often has directed a discourse to me which I do not
understand. This barbarity has kept me ever at a distance
from the most beautiful object my eyes ever beheld.
It is thus also she deals with all mankind, and you must
make love to her, as you would conquer the sphinx, by (20)
posing[67] her. But were she like other women, and that
there were any talking to her, how constant must the
pleasure of that man be who could converse with a creature--But,
after all, you may be sure her heart is fixed
on some one or other; and yet I have been credibly (25)
informed--but who can believe half that is said? After
she had done speaking to me, she put her hand to her
bosom and adjusted her tucker. Then she cast her eyes
a little down, upon my beholding her too earnestly. They
say she sings excellently; her voice in her ordinary speech (110: 5)
has something in it inexpressibly sweet. You must know
I dined with her at a public table the day after I first saw
her, and she helped me to some tansy in the eye of all
the gentlemen in the country: she has certainly the finest
hand of any woman in the world. I can assure you, sir, (10)
were you to behold her, you would be in the same condition;
for, as her speech is music, her form is angelic.
But I find I grow irregular while I am talking of her;
but indeed it would be stupidity to be unconcerned at
such perfection. Oh, the excellent creature! she is as (15)
inimitable to all women as she is inaccessible to all men."
[67] The word seems not to be used with precision here. To pose is to
silence or nonplus one by puzzling or unanswerable questions; it was
the sphinx that posed all comers with her famous riddle till Œdipus
answered it.
I found my friend begin to rave, and insensibly led
him towards the house, that we might be joined by some
other company; and am convinced that the widow is
the secret cause of all that inconsistency which appears (20)
in some parts of my friend's discourse. Though he has
so much command of himself as not directly to mention
her, yet, according to that of Martial, which one knows
not how to render in English, "_Dum tacet hanc loquitur_."
I shall end this paper with that whole epigram, which (25)
represents with much humor my honest friend's condition.
"Quicquid agit Rufus, nihil est nisi Naevia Rufo;
Si gaudet, si flet, si tacet, hanc loquitur:
Caenat, propinat, poscit, negat, annuit,--una est
Naevia; si non sit Naevia, mutus erit.
Scriberet hesterna patri cum luce salutem,
Naevia lux, inquit, 'Naevia lumen, ave.'
"Let Rufus weep, rejoice, stand, sit, or walk,
Still he can nothing but of Naevia talk; (111: 5)
Let him eat, drink, ask questions, or dispute,
Still he must speak of Naevia or be mute;
He writ to his father, ending with this line,--
'I am, my lovely Naevia, ever thine.'" R.