"Huh?" said Jeb.
"Her Sadism Index Rating went up five points," the man explained. "We
wanted to make sure we hadn't made an error. Well, that certainly is
good news for you two. I'll guess you'll both be all right now."
"All _right_? Are you _kidding_?"
"Now, now, we know what's best for you. Your Masochism Rating is quite
high, you know. Laurie is just what you need. Why, you two were _made_
for each other."
Suddenly the man stopped talking, gasped, and the screen flickered and
went dead. Jeb's astonishment was wiped away by the soft, silvery bell
tone of his portable Monitex, a flat two-by-six-inch machine resting on
a shelf nearby. As Jeb wildly lunged toward it, he saw it was glowing
red, activated by a violation, and as he snatched it up, the coded
reading dial had a notification: _Bx-P-203_.
Trembling, Jeb pressed a button on the lower left of the Monitex and
a voice promptly droned mechanically from the waferlike loudspeaker
hidden under the surface, giving details of the violation.
"Bx-P-203--At ten minutes after eight A.M., Monitex 27965 of
Freelance Monitor Jeb picked up violation of Copyright on the phrase
'were made for each other.' Said phrase property of Joint Owners
registered under Copyright of Verbal Phrases Act of 1996. Owners,
Magnum Motion Picture Studios and Universal Publications. Fee for use
80 credits, commission fifty per cent."
* * * * *
The voice went dead and the flat metal surface glowed with letters
strung into words reading "Please Collect and Remit Total Fee."
As Jeb uttered a yelp of delight, Laurie came running into the room.
"I heard the Monitex bell," she said eagerly.
"You sure did," crowed Jeb. "Now aren't you proud of me? I was smart
enough to leave the Monitex on all night. We picked up a Verbal
Copyright violation...."
"You left it on all night?" screeched Laurie, her joy fading. "You
imbecile, the leasing charge on the Monitex is ten credits an hour,
isn't it? What's your commission on this violation?"
"Forty credits. I--I guess I'm losing money, b-but...."
Laurie gave him her opinion of his supposed shrewdness.
Jeb unhappily went to the televisor and punched out a call on the
button keyboard which would recall the image of the Marriage Relations
representative. He shrank back in alarm as the man's glaring face
appeared.
"Sorry to hook you this way, old boy," said Jeb meekly, "but it's
my job, you know. Got you on a Verbal for using 'were made for each
other.' That phrase is owned by--"
"You dirty, sneaking spy!" yelled the man on the televisor screen.
"I'll bet your grandfather informed on diamond smugglers for a
percentage."
"He...." Jeb feebly started to protest.
"It's a hell of a thing," raved the other, "when a man can't even use
words to express himself without paying...."
In alarm, Jeb leaned forward and hastily punched a combination of
buttons on the televisor. One half the screen blanked. The image of
the Marriage Relations representative moved to the right and the lean,
puritanical face of Jeb's supervisor, Dirdon, flared onto the left half.