Curran told me, with infinite humour of an adventure between him and a
mastiff when he was a boy. He had heard somebody say that any person
throwing the skirts of his coat over his head, stooping low, holding out
his arms and creeping along backward, might frighten the fiercest dog
and put him to flight. He accordingly made the attempt on a miller's
animal in the neighbourhood, who _would never let_ the boys _rob the
orchard_; but found to his sorrow that he had a dog to deal with who did
not care which end of a boy went foremost, so as he could get a good
bite out of it. "I pursued the instructions," said Curran; "and, as I
had no eyes save those in front, fancied the mastiff was in full
retreat: but I was confoundedly mistaken; for at the very moment I
thought myself victorious, the enemy attacked my rear, and having got a
reasonably good mouthful out of it, was fully prepared to take another
before I was rescued. Egad, I thought for a time the beast had devoured
my entire _centre of gravity_, and that I never should go on a steady
perpendicular again." "Upon my word, Curran," said I, "the mastiff may
have left you your _centre_, but he could not have left much _gravity_
behind him, among the bystanders."--_Sir Jonah Barrington._
_Bishop Ken._--This English prelate died as he was on a journey to Bath,
in March, 1710, in the seventy-fourth year of his age. He had been in
the habit of travelling many years with his shroud in his portmanteau,
which he always put on when attacked by illness; of this he gave notice
the day before his death, in order to prevent his body from being
stripped. P.T.W.
_Warning to Cowards._--There was a soldier that vaunted before Julius
Caesar, of the hurts he had received in his face. Caesar knowing him to
be but a coward, told him, "You had best heed next time you run away,
how you look back."--_Lord Bacon._
_Love and Murder._--"Hipparchus, going to marry, consulted Philander
upon the occasion; Philander represented his mistress in such strong
colours, that the next morning he received a challenge, and before
twelve he was run through the body."--_Spectator._
_Portugal._--Its ancient name was Lusitaenia. Its present name is
derived from that of an ancient town called "Calle," on or near the site
of the present Oporto, which was called "Portus Cale," or the Port of
Cale; and in process of time the name of this port was extended to the
whole country, whence "_Portucal_," or _Portugal_. Portus Cale
was afterwards called "O Porto" (the harbour,) which name the town of
Oporto ultimately received. P.T.W.
_Perfection of Steam Navigation._--During the last four months, the
_Firebrand_, steam-vessel from Falmouth, has traversed two voyages to
Corfu, and one to Lisbon, a distance of 11,500 miles, which gives for
the number of days, 66; she steamed, an average of 174 miles per day.
_Sore Eyes and Wine._--It was a right answer of the physician to his
patient that had sore eyes. "If you have more pleasure in the taste of
wine than in the use of your sight, wine is good for you; but if the
pleasure of seeing be greater to you than that of drinking, wine is
naught."--_Locke._
_Chinese and Russian Cookery._--In China, if the cook employed in
preparing the Imperial repasts, introduces any prohibited ingredients,
even by inadvertence, he is punished with a hundred blows; if any of the
dishes of food be not clean, he is liable to eighty blows; and if the
cook omits to ascertain the quality of the dishes by tasting, he incurs
fifty blows.
There cannot be a grand dinner in Russia without sterlet. In summer,
when brought alive from Archangel, &c., these cost from five hundred to
one thousand rubles each; a fish soup, made with champagne and other
expensive wines, has been known to cost three thousand rubles; no water
is allowed to enter into the composition of these expensive soups; and
the whole company get very merry and talkative after partaking of them.
_Honest Tar._--John Barth, the Dunkirk fisherman, rose by his courage
and naval skill, to the rank of commodore of a squadron in the navy of
France. When he was ennobled by Louis XIV. the king said to him, "John
Barth, I have made you a commodore." John replied, "you have done
right."
* * * * *
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