SCHNEIDEKIND. Good God!
STRAMMFEST. --and through mine, through mine.
SCHNEIDEKIND [relieved]. Oh, a metaphorical dagger! I thought you meant
a real one. What has happened?
STRAMMFEST. His daughter the Grand Duchess Annajanska, she whom the
Panjandrina loved beyond all her other children, has--has-- [he cannot
finish.]
SCHNEIDEKIND. Committed suicide?
STRAMMFEST. No. Better if she had. Oh, far far better.
SCHNEIDEKIND [in hushed tones]. Left the Church?
STRAMMFEST [shocked]. Certainly not. Do not blaspheme, young man.
SCHNEIDEKIND. Asked for the vote?
STRAMMFEST. I would have given it to her with both hands to save her
from this.
SCHNEIDEKIND. Save her from what? Dash it, sir, out with it.
STRAMMFEST. She has joined the Revolution.
SCHNEIDEKIND. But so have you, sir. We've all joined the Revolution. She
doesn't mean it any more than we do.
STRAMMFEST. Heaven grant you may be right! But that is not the worst.
She had eloped with a young officer. Eloped, Schneidekind, eloped!
SCHNEIDEKIND [not particularly impressed]. Yes, Sir.
STRAMMFEST. Annajanska, the beautiful, the innocent, my master's
daughter! [He buries his face in his hands.]
The telephone rings.
SCHNEIDEKIND [taking the receiver]. Yes: G.H.Q. Yes... Don't bawl: I'm
not a general. Who is it speaking?... Why didn't you say so? don't you
know your duty? Next time you will lose your stripe... Oh, they've made
you a colonel, have they? Well, they've made me a field-marshal: now
what have you to say?... Look here: what did you ring up for? I can't
spend the day here listening to your cheek... What! the Grand Duchess
[Strammfest starts.] Where did you catch her?
STRAMMFEST [snatching the telephone and listening for the answer].
Speak louder, will you: I am a General I know that, you dolt. Have you
captured the officer that was with her?... Damnation! You shall answer
for this: you let him go: he bribed you. You must have seen him:
the fellow is in the full dress court uniform of the Panderobajensky
Hussars. I give you twelve hours to catch him or... what's that you say
about the devil? Are you swearing at me, you... Thousand thunders!
[To Schneidekind.] The swine says that the Grand Duchess is a devil
incarnate. [Into the telephone.] Filthy traitor: is that the way you
dare speak of the daughter of our anointed Panjandrum? I'll--
SCHNEIDEKIND [pulling the telephone from his lips]. Take care, sir.
STRAMMFEST. I won't take care: I'll have him shot. Let go that
telephone.