SCENE--_Manager's Room of the Ideal Theatre.
Present--Committee of Taste._
[Illustration]
_Manager_. Now, you fellows, I think we have settled what to do next.
Carry out the notion of an afternoon performance of the Ideal Drama.
We have got the moderate guarantee, and the good stock company, and
hope to receive the cooperation of the leading artists from other
theatres. Isn't that so?
_Auditor_. Yes, I can answer for the moderate guarantee--about £20--in
the bank.
_Stage Manager_. And the good stock company was imported early this
morning from Ireland. All very good Shakspearian actors with a taste
of a brogue to give their remarks pungency.
_Manager_. That's all right. And what is the play?
_First Member of the Committee of Taste_. "_Demons_," by the Master.
_Second Ditto_. No, let us have something newer. Why not an adaptation
(by myself) of that charming work by SODALA--I call it _Blood and
Thunder_?
_Manager_ (_producing halfpenny_). By the rules of the Company we toss
for it. (_Throws up coin._) Heads!--_Blood and Thunder_ wins. We
will do _Blood and Thunder_. Well, now as to casting it. Anything for
IRVING in it?
_Second Mem._ Oh, yes--if he would play it. A Policeman who dies
by cutting his throat in Scene 1. Not the sort of part he usually
selects, but capital.
_First Mem._ It is not for Mr. IRVING to pick and choose, it is the
cause of Art we serve.
_Second Mem._ Well, yes. We might telephone and learn his views on the
subject.
[_Subordinate takes instructions_.
_Manager_. All right! Ah, here we have the piece! Rather long, but
the parts seem mild enough. Who's to do this soldier--a sort of heavy
dragoon, with a cold, who dies in the First Scene of the Second Act?
_Second Mem._ Oh, anybody! KENDAL or FARREN; or if they can't, then
HARE or LIONEL BROUGH.
_Manager_. But do you think they will like it? You see they each have
their line, and--
_First Mem._ In the cause of Art they will be prepared to do anything.
At least, they ought to be.
_Manager_. Well, we will telephone to them too. (_Subordinate takes
further instructions_.) And now, how about the Ladies?
_Second Mem._ Oh, there are a lot of school-girls, and a woman who
dies by degrees of general paralysis. The girls, of course will be all
right with--say, Miss EMERY, Miss LINDEN, Miss ALMA MURRAY, and Mrs.
KENDAL. But we want two people to play the woman. First Act, Miss
ELLEN TERRY; second and third, Miss GENEVIEVE WARD. To be properly
played, both should be in it.
_Manager_. But how will that do? I do not think that Miss TERRY will
care to--
_First Mem._ Nonsense! She is a most charming person, and will do
anything in the cause of Art.
_Subordinate_ (_returning from telephone_). Beg pardon, Gentlemen, but
Messrs. KENDAL, FARREN, BROUGH and HARE say they are very sorry, but
they are not at home; and Mr. IRVING presents his compliments,
and would be delighted to do what we wish, but he fears he will be
otherwise engaged. However, he says you have his sympathy, and his
heart goes out to you. [_Exit._
_Manager_. Well, what shall we do?
_Second Mem._ Oh, there's VEZIN, and TERRIS, and PAULTON, and a heap
more!
_Subordinate_ (_returning_). Just heard from the Ladies, Gentlemen,
and they send their kindest regards, but they are out too!
_Acting Manager_ (_entering_). Well, how about the performance?
_Members of the Council_ (_together_). Oh, it's nearly arranged!
_Acting Man._ Well, if I might suggest, as a person of considerable
experience, it doesn't matter a jot whether you get a company together
or not.
_Members_ (_as before_). Why?
_Acting Man._ Because you won't get an audience!
[_Scene closes in upon farther consultation._
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[Illustration: MODEST AMBITION.
_The Squire_ (_to his Eldest Son, just home from the 'Varsity_).
"WELL, MY BOY, AND WHAT HAVE YOU SETTLED TO BE?"
_The Squire's Son_. "JUST A _PLAIN COUNTRY GENTLEMAN_ LIKE YOU,
FATHER!"]
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