IN THE HOME

When John Howard Payne wrote the immortal words of "Home, Sweet Home,"

adapting them to the beautiful Sicilian melody, now so familiar to us all,

he gave to the world a precious legacy, which has brought sunshine into

millions of hearts. "Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home." And

there is no other place in all the world where the little courtesies of

life should be so tenderly given; where loving ministrations should be so

cheerfully bestowed; in short, where good manners, in all the varied

details of life, should be so diligently practised. "Home, sweet home!" the

place where childhood days are spent, where habits are formed which are to

continue through the future, and where the foundation is laid upon which

the superstructure of after-years is to be built. What a halo lingers about

the blessed spot! and how the soul of the exile cherishes the pictures

which adorn the halls of memory,--pictures which the rude hand of time can

never efface!

This earth has many lingering traces of Eden yet remaining, which enrapture

the eye of the beholder. But there is no sight in all the world so

beautiful as that of a well-ordered, harmonious Christian home,--a home

where love reigns; where each esteems the other better than himself; where

the parents are careful to practise what they preach; where the daily

lessons instilled into the minds of the children from babyhood to maturity

always and forever include the indispensable drills in good manners.

There is no school so important as the home school, no teacher so

responsible as the parent, no pupil under such weighty obligations to

deport himself creditably as is the son or daughter of the household. And

may it not be asserted truthfully that there is no more thrilling

commencement scene than that which sees the noble young man or young woman,

having passed successfully through all the grades of the parental school,

bid a regretful adieu to the dear childhood home, to enter upon a career of

usefulness elsewhere, to spend and be spent in saving humanity? But how few

such commencement scenes do we witness! How few pupils ever pass the test

satisfactorily in the important branch of ethics! When parents practice

good manners toward their children; when they find as much pleasure in the

unaffected "please" and "thank you" of the home kindergarten as they do in

the same marks of politeness elsewhere; when the deportment in the grades

of the home school is considered of greater importance than that in the

schools away from home, our preparatory schools and colleges will have less

trouble in securing good behavior on the part of those in attendance, and

the problem of how to maintain proper decorum will have lost its

perplexity.

Every time a child says "please" it is a reminder that he is not

independent, that he is in need of assistance. Every time he says "thank

you," he has yet another reminder that he is not independent, that he is

under obligations to another for assistance received. Pure and undefiled

religion and good manners cannot be separated. The child who is taught to

say "please" because he is in need of human aid, may be made easily to

comprehend the beautiful significance of prayer, because he is in need of

divine aid. The child who is taught to say "thank you" for favors received

from earthly friends, may be led easily to see the appropriateness of

offering praise and thanksgiving for divine blessings.

Children who are made to realize that to appear well always in the society

of home is infinitely more important than to try to appear well

occasionally when away from home, cause little parental anxiety as to how

they will deport themselves when absent. And children who practise good

behavior in the home when no company is present, do not need to be called

aside for a hasty lesson in this line when some one is about to call. Such

lessons are very unsatisfactory, and are seldom remembered, being much like

music lessons taken without the intervening practise.

Good manners cannot be put on and off with the best clothing, or donned

momentarily to suit the occasion. But, unlike our ordinary apparel, the

more they are worn, the more beautiful they appear. Good manners in the

home means good manners everywhere; and each individual simply stands

before the world an epitome of all his former training. If the child has

learned to be honest and truthful in all the details of the home life, he

may face the world in later years a worthy example of uprightness to all

with whom he comes in contact. If he has learned to be habitually kind and

courteous in the home, he is the same wherever he may be. If he always

appears neat and tidy in the home, these pleasing characteristics will

remain with him throughout life.

If the loved members of his own family circle never discover that he has a

"temper of his own," there is little danger that any one else will ever

find it out. If his habits and practises at home are such as to ennoble and

beautify his own life, his influence will rest as a benign benediction upon

the beloved of his household, and the great world outside will be better

because of his having lived in it. O, that every boy and girl might rightly

appreciate the vast difference between manners of the soul and manners of

the head,--manners of the heart and manners of the outward appearance! One

is Christian religion, the other is cold formality. One means the salvation

of souls; the other is but vanity and outward show.

But we are instructed that "true refinement and gentleness of manners can

never be found in a home where selfishness reigns." "We should be

self-forgetful, ever looking out for opportunities, even in little things,

to show gratitude for the favors we have received from others, and watching

for opportunities to cheer others, and to lighten and relieve their sorrows

and burdens, by acts of tender kindness and little deeds of love. These

thoughtful courtesies that begin in our families, extend outside the family

circle, and help to make up the sum of life's happiness; and the neglect of

these little things makes up the sum of life's bitterness and sorrow."

Boys and girls who rightly appreciate good manners will be polite and

courteous in the home, and will share cheerfully in all the little duties

of the household. Some one has said that idleness is "the chief author of

all mischief." And surely any individual who chooses to be idle rather than

to be usefully employed, is exceedingly ill-bred. Children should be taught

the nobility of labor, and to respect those who faithfully perform the

humblest duties of life, just as much as those who accomplish the more

difficult tasks.

There is pointed truth in the assertion that there is gospel in a loaf of

good bread; but it is a sad comment on the home training of the present day

that so few of our young people recognize this fact. It is to be deplored

that the children nowadays receive so little training in the ins and outs

of good housekeeping. No young lady should consider herself accomplished

until she has acquired the art of making good bread, and of knowing how to

prepare healthful and palatable meals. Even if it never should be her

privilege to become the queen of a kitchen, there are always ample

opportunities to impart such valuable knowledge to others.

The world is in direful need of practical boys and girls, practical young

men and young women, who are not afraid to perform faithfully even the

smallest duties that lie in the pathway of life, and who are willing to tax

their thinking powers in order that their work may be done in the best

possible manner. How much more in keeping with Christian manners that the

son of the household should share in the burden of keeping the domestic

machinery running smoothly, rather than misemploy his time, and grow up

unacquainted with the practical duties of life! How much more appropriate

that the daughter should assist the mother in performing the various

household duties, rather than occupy a hammock or an easy chair, and spend

her time in reading cheap books! Many a weary mother would appreciate such

kindness on the part of her children more than words can express, and the

children themselves would be the happier because of such thoughtful

service.

The boy or girl who grows up in the belief that honorable labor in any

direction is a God-given privilege, will realize that housework is not

without its fascinations, and that manual training in the school is an

important part of the daily curriculum. Such a child will realize that even

an empty water-pail or a vacant wood-box presents a golden opportunity for

usefulness which should not be slighted. He will not appropriate for

himself the last pint of cold water from the pail, or the last cup of hot

water from the teakettle, and complacently leave them for some one else to

fill. That child, even though he be grown up who sees nothing in these

little opportunities for usefulness, will let greater ones pass by with the

same lack of appreciation.

Laziness is a deadly enemy to success; and the child who is indolent in the

home, is likely to bring up the rear in the race of life. Laziness is no

kin to true happiness. The lazy child is not the truly happy child. He lies

in bed until late in the morning, is often careless about his personal

appearance, is late to breakfast, late to school, and his name is entirely

wanting when the highest credits are awarded. Such a child may be sometimes

recognized by the neglected appearance of his teeth and finger-nails, the

"high-water marks" about his neck and wrists, the dust on his clothing and

shoes, his untidy hair, etc. In fact, he seems to have adopted as his life

motto the paraphrase, "There is no excellence about great labor."

A trite story is told of a man who was to be executed because of his

persistent laziness. While being driven to the scaffold, he was given one

more chance for his life by a kind-hearted individual who offered him a

quantity of corn with which to make a new start. Upon hearing the

suggestion, the condemned man slowly raised himself up, and rather

dubiously inquired, "I-s i-t s-h-e-l-l-e-d?" Being informed to the

contrary, he slowly settled down again, with the remark, "W-e-l-l, then,

drive on."

Now, boys and girls, you will find many occasions in life when it will be

necessary for you to put forth an extra effort in order to succeed. But

when some golden opportunity presents the corn to you, do not stop to

inquire, "Is it shelled?" Learn to shell your own corn. Use your muscle as

well as your brain, ever bearing in mind that increased strength, both

physical and mental, comes as the result of the proper use of that which

you now possess. Be workers, be thinkers, in the great world about you. The

old saying that it is better to wear out than to rust out is not without

forceful meaning.

In accordance with heaven-born manners, "let all things be done decently

and in order." All things include even the little chores which may be done

by the members of the home kindergarten; it also includes the greatest task

of which man is capable. If we would learn how particular Heaven is in

regard to neatness and order, we should become familiar with God's

instructions to ancient Israel. The arrangement of the camp of Israel, and

the whole round of tabernacle service, present a systematic demonstration

of order and neatness such as Heaven approves. And the sad fate of Uzzah,

Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, attests to how particular God is in regard to

perfect order.

If systematic order and neatness are to be maintained in the home, the

members of the household must be united in putting forth the necessary

efforts. And blessed is that family who make of home "a little heaven to go

to heaven in."

But let me repeat that "true refinement and gentleness of manners can never

be found in a home where selfishness reigns." And how many temptations to

selfishness there are in the home life! Every day brings the choice between

selfishness and self-sacrifice. Shall I take for myself the choicest apple?

or shall I share in that which is not so agreeable? These may appear to be

very insignificant questions. But, boys and girls, do you know that the

habitual decisions at which you arrive in childhood, determine largely

whether or not you will live by principle later on? "As the twig is bent,

so the tree inclines."

But the lesson of always giving cheerfully to others that which the natural

heart would selfishly appropriate as its own, can be learned only in the

school of Christ. And blessed is that parent or teacher who rightly

appreciates the privilege of becoming an assistant in that school. Blessed

is that pupil who realizes what it means to become such a devoted learner

that he can find joy in denying self that he may minister to the comfort of

others whenever an opportunity is afforded, recognizing that every

heaven-appointed task is a part of the great cause of truth--the giving of

the "gospel to all the world in this generation." Every kindness shown to

others, if done in the right spirit, is counted in the records of heaven as

done to Christ himself. Even the cup of cold water given in his name, is

never forgotten.

Kind words and loving deeds are as pebbles cast upon the great sea of

humanity, the ever-widening circle of whose influence extends beyond the

limited vision of him who projects them; and the eternal ages alone will

reveal how many souls have been saved, and saved forever, as the grand

result. How many girls and boys are watching every opportunity to share in

this blessed work?