SCOUT HARRIS
That was some parade! The whole five of us marched up and down Main
Street looking as sober as we could, Pee-wee strutting along at the head
of the line and every now and then getting his feet tangled up with the
edge of the big frames, and stumbling all over himself.
"Don't laugh," I said; "every one of us is as bad as another, if not
worse; keep a straight face and march in step; the public is with us."
Oh, boy, you ought to have seen the people laugh. I guess mostly they
laughed because we kept such straight faces, except when Pee-wee
stumbled all over himself; then we had to howl. Everybody stopped and
stared at us and read the signs and laughed.
Pretty soon we passed an automobile full of girls that was standing in
front of a store. They were camp-fire girls, because they had on khaki
middies or whatever you call them with kind of, you know, braid things
like snakes around their necks. One of them had a banner that said _Camp
Smile Awhile_.
Pee-wee turned around and whispered, "Did you see that girl smile when
she looked at me?"
"Smile!" I said, "that's nothing; the first time I ever saw you I
laughed out loud. Keep your eyes straight ahead and look pretty--as if
you were posing for animal crackers."
When we got to the corner, Pee-wee turned around and marched back, just
because he wanted to pass those girls again. He made himself as tall as
he could, so as he wouldn't trip over the placards. Honest, he looked
just like a turtle standing up on its hind legs and waddling along and
poking its head around this way and that.
"Don't laugh," he said, just as we passed the girls.
"Oh, _isn't_ he just too _cute_ for _anything_!" one of them said.
"Isn't he just a little dear!" another one said.
"Oh, me, oh, my," I whispered to Westy who was just in front of me.
"Pee-wee's got them started. Isn't he the little heart-breaker?"
He marched back again when we got to the other corner, standing up as
high as he could, so as to lift the placards and looking straight ahead
of him with a sober face.
"_Oh_, I think he's just as _cute_ as he can _be_," one of the girls in
the auto said.
Just then a little dog came running out of one of the stores and scooted
between Pee-wee's legs and _good night_, down he went, sprawling on the
ground with one leg kicking through one of the big placards and his arms
all mixed up in the rope.
"Watch your step," I said. I just couldn't help it.
"Where's that dog?" Pee-wee yelled, all the while trying to straighten
things out and get up. "I'll--I'll----"
"A scout is always kind to animals," Wig said; "the poor little dog was
in a hurry, that was all."
"That dog was going scout pace," I said; "you should worry."
By now, Pee-wee was all tangled up with the two big placards and the
rope that had held them together, and the whole business, Pee-wee,
placards, rope and all, looked like a double sailor's knot having an
epileptic fit. Laugh! We simply screamed.
"Get up, you're blocking the traffic," I said.
"It's got around my leg," he shouted.
"That's what you get for trying to show off," Westy told him. "Talk
about your soup-stirring scene! It can't be mentioned alongside of
this."
By now, Pee-wee had managed to scramble to his feet, and he stood there
staring around as if he didn't know what had struck him. One of the
placards was all torn and muddy and hanging by one rope and the other
piece of rope was wound around his leg. Honest, I never knew that one
little dog could make such a wreck.
"You look as if you'd been torpedoed," Wig said; "stand still till we
brush you off. Turn around and smile and look pretty."
By that time all the girls had gotten out of the auto and were crowding
around Pee-wee, brushing him off and asking him if he was hurt.
"Oh, it's _just_ too _bad_," one of them said; "his nice khaki jacket is
torn. I'm going to fix it. We've got needles and thread and everything
right in the machine, because we're on our way to camp."
"I don't need to have it fixed," Pee-wee said; "I can fix it myself.
Scouts can do everything like that."
"Yes, but they can't sew," the girl said.
"Sure, they can do everything," Pee-wee told her. "Maybe you think," he
said, all the while pounding the dust out of his clothes, "maybe you
think that just because I fell down--gee, that could happen to the
smartest man--even--even--_Edison_----"
"Sure," I said, "lots of times Edison fell down."
"Scouts can do anything," Pee-wee said. I guess after what had happened
he wanted to let those girls know that just because a scout fell down,
it didn't prove he wasn't smart.
"Hurrah for P. Harris," I said.
"Oh, is _he_ P. Harris?" one of the girls said; "Oh, isn't that
_glorious_! Is he the one that stirs soup?"
By that I knew they must have seen one of the handbills.
"Oh, we're _all_ coming to-night to see him stir it," she said; "our
camp is just across the lake from Ridgeboro. Don't you think Ridgeboro
is a _poky_ old place? We'll canoe over. We're camping over the holiday
and we call our camp, _Camp Smile Awhile_. Isn't that just a _peachy_
name?"
Connie said, "I should think a girls' camp ought to be named _Camp
Giggle a Lot_."
"Oh, aren't you _perfectly terrible_!" one of them said; "the _idea! Is
it ten cents to get in? Have you really got a railroad car of your _very
own_? Oh, I think that's just simply _scrumptious_. I wish I were a
boy."
"That's nothing," Pee-wee said; "we hike hundreds of miles. Once we got
lost on a mountain--we didn't care. We were lost two days. We could have
been lost three if we'd wanted to."
"Only what's the use of being extravagant?" I said.
"Once I fell down a cliff forty feet high," Pee-Wee said; "that's
nothing."
"Oh, and didn't you _kill_ yourself?" one of the girls wanted to know.
"Sure he did," Westy said; "but he's all right now."
"It's fine being a boy," Pee-wee said; "gee, I feel sorry for girls."
"Oh, and you can sew, too?" one of them asked him. "And cook?"
"Cook!" I said. "He used to be the chef in the Waldorf Castoria."
"Scouts have to know how to do everything," Pee-wee told her; "because
suppose a scout is alone in the woods; he has to cook his dinner,
doesn't he? He has to know how to do everything for himself, see?
That's why I'll sew this jacket myself. That's what you call
resourcefulness. A scout has to be full of that, see?"
"Oh, I think it's just _wonderful_!" the girl said.
"That's nothing," Pee-wee told her; "you can even cook moss and eat it
if you're lost and hungry. Once I went two days without food."
"You mean two hours," Connie said.
"Anyway, it was _two_ something or other," Pee-wee shouted.
"Most likely it was two minutes," I told the girl.
"And you came all the way out here _alone_? Oh, isn't that perfectly
_adorable_! And you're going to give a show to earn money----"
"So we won't perish," Pee-wee said.
"Which?" Westy asked him.
"Perish," he said; "don't you know what perish means?"
"And will the pictures show you doing all those things?" one of the
girls wanted to know.
"Sure," Pee-wee said; "maybe you'll get some good ideas from them, only
you mustn't scream when you see one of the fellows fall out of a tree
into the water, because that's nothing. That's one thing scouts don't
do--scream."
But believe me, that was one thing scouts did do the very next day. I
did, anyway; I screamed till I had a headache.