True sportsmen will regret Mr. ILLINGWORTH'S statement, made recently
in the House, when he said, "I have every expectation that the
[telephone] service will improve."
By "improve" he no doubt meant that when we ring up a number in future
we shall simply get it; that people who want us will be able to get
us, and so on. It is a dismal prospect.
I only hope the improvement will be delayed until I get my own back. I
have been playing rather a bad line lately, and only this morning lost
a set by one game to two.
* * * * *
The operator won the first game before I could get into my stride.
She rang me up three times in five minutes, and each time put me on
to nobody. This was a very bad start, and I determined that I must
at least give her a game. So the third time I held on, mechanically
knocking the semi-circular ring arrangement up and down. There is
always a chance that your signal may be working, and it annoys the
operator. But she beat me by a swift stroke.
"What number do you want?" she asked cynically. I said, "Well played,
Sir--Madam!" Then she rubbed it in with a parting shot: "Sorry you
have been terroubled," she said, and cut me off. Love--one.
* * * * *
"Hullo!" I said, when my bell rang the next time.
"Put me through to Extension 8, please."
The only thing to do with this sort of shot is to return it safely.
"Sorry, old chap," I said, "I haven't got one."
"Haven't _what_?" he said.
"Got one."
"One what?"
"Extension."