_Monday, March 3rd_.--The terrors of the Statute of Anne having been
temporarily removed, Mr. AUSTEN CHAMBERLAIN headed a little _queue_ of
Ministers coming up to take the Oath. How the already crowded Treasury
Bench is to accommodate the new-comers it is difficult to see, but
presumably a system of reliefs will be arranged.
The present epidemic was discussed by Captain NEWMAN and Sir JOHN
REES who were not agreed as to whether port is a "preventative" or a
"preventive" of influenza, but were unanimous in thinking that far too
little of it was available.
[Illustration: MR. MCCALLUM SCOTT. "SH-H! DON'T YOU KNOW THERE'S A
DEMOBILISATION ON?"]
On bearing that the liability of agricultural shows to the
Entertainment Tax depended on whether instruction was combined with
amusement, Colonel WEIGALL pertinently asked who was to decide where
amusement ends and education begins. Talking of education, I shall in
future, following Mr. H.A.L. FISHER, try to pronounce Thibetan with a
long "e," but, I hesitate, even on the authority of the MINISTER OF
EDUCATION, to speak of "Febuary."
Since Mr. CHURCHILL became War Minister he has developed a remarkable
likeness to Lord HALDANE. Happily the resemblance extends only to the
_rondeurs_, and not to the occasional _longueurs_, of his predecessor.
How long his Lordship would have taken to elucidate the present
position and future composition of the British Army I cannot estimate,
but it would have been several hours. Mr. CHURCHILL'S survey of the
World, from Siberia to the Rhine, occupied a brief sixty minutes and
included some attractive speculations on the kind of Army we should
need in the future. He hopes, among other things, for an improved
General Staff, composed of officers acquainted with war in all its
phases--land, sea and air--who could give the Cabinet expert advice on
war as a whole, and save it (we inferred) from such hesitations as led
to the glorious tragedy of Gallipoli.
"I thought we had given up war," interjected Mr. HOGGE; and other
Members twitted the Minister with having left out of his account the
League of Nations. But Mr. CHURCHILL, in reply, while expressing the
utmost respect for the League, pointed out that it was not yet in
being, and that meanwhile Britain must continue to be a strong armed
Power.
A number of maiden speeches were delivered during the evening.
The SPEAKER was not in the Chair, but I hope he was somewhere
in the precincts to hear the cheers which greeted the initial
effort--commendably brief and to the point--of his son, Major
LOWTHER, on the subject of courts-martial.
[Illustration: A NEW FORCE IN POLITICS. THE DE VALERA GIRL.]
_Tuesday, March 4th_.--Lord SINHA OF RAIPUR delivered his maiden
speech in a style which promises well for his Parliamentary career.
Accepting the _dictum_ of Lord SYDENHAM that frankness is essential
in Indian affairs, he proceeded to act upon it by administering a
dignified rebuke to his lordship for having suggested that one of the
periodical affrays between Mahomedans and Hindoos was occasioned by
the MONTAGU-CHELMSFORD report.
No fewer than forty-six questions were addressed to the War Office.
But obviously this sort of thing cannot go on. The SECRETARY OF STATE
cannot devote so much of his valuable time to satisfying Parliamentary
curiosity. Accordingly he has appointed a "Members' friend" to hear
complaints and answer questions. Mr. McCALLUM SCOTT has been rewarded
for his consistent admiration--did he not publish a eulogy of "Winston
Churchill in Peace and War" when his hero's fortunes were temporarily
clouded?--and on two days a week will have the privilege of acting as
lightning-conductor.
The most intriguing detail in the story of DE VALERA'S escape
from Lincoln Gaol was the beguilement of the guards by two sweet
girl-graduates from Dublin. But this afternoon Mr. SHORTT curtly
stated--with a twinkle in his eye--that the sentries disclaimed all
knowledge of the ladies. Still, is this conclusive?
_Wednesday, March 5th_.--The friends of the new LORD CHANCELLOR
were becoming anxious lest his natural gaiety should be permanently
suppressed by the necessity of keeping up the dignity of the Woolsack.
They need be under no further apprehensions. A motion in favour of
Home Rule All Round, introduced by Lord BRASSEY and supported by Lord
SELBORNE, furnished him with his chance. Metaphorically flinging his
full-bottomed wig on to the floor he skipped into the arena, executed
a war-dance around his amazed victims, and, before they knew where
they were, got their heads into Chancery and knocked them together
until they were compelled to give in. Talk of the congestion of
Parliament! Why, now that party spirit was in abeyance, Bills went
through with incredible rapidity. As for the supposed ambitions of the
"little nations," what, he asked, did Scotsmen and Welshmen care about
subordinate Parliaments when they were governing the whole Empire? If
the advocates of the proposal really believed in it let them go out as
missionaries into the wilderness, and, if they escaped the proverbial
fate of missionaries, convert the heathen voters to their creed.
Thereupon Lord BRASSEY, his brow bloody but unbowed, intimated that
"a time would come," and meanwhile withdrew his motion.
At Question-time Mr. BONAR LAW indignantly denied a newspaper rumour
from Paris that the British delegates had decided not to demand any
money-indemnity from Germany, but took occasion later on to discount
somewhat freely the election-promises made on this subject by himself
and other Ministers. It would be better, he implied, to accept a
composition than to put the debtor into the Bankruptcy Court. This
is common sense, no doubt, always provided that the Hun does not
misinterpret his reprieve, and, instead of laying golden eggs for
our benefit, resume the practice of the goose-step.
On the Civil Service Estimates, swollen to five times their pre-war
magnitude, Mr. BALDWIN made an earnest appeal for economy. If every
man would ask himself, "What can I do for the State?" instead of "What
can I get out of it?" we might yet emerge safely from our financial
straits. The House, as usual, cheered this fine sentiment to the echo,
and, to show how thoroughly it had gone home, Mr. ADAMSON, the Labour
leader, immediately pressed for an increase in the salaries of Members
of Parliament.
_Thursday, March 6th_.--The CHIEF SECRETARY FOR IRELAND announced that
the Government had decided to release such of the Sinn Fein prisoners
as had not already saved them the trouble.
History does not always repeat itself. The first JOSIAH WEDGWOOD
enhanced his fame by a faithful reproduction of the Portland Vase.
JOSIAH the Second, essaying a fancy portrait of the present Duke of
PORTLAND (in his capacity of a coal-owner), was less fortunate in the
likeness, and this afternoon handsomely withdrew it from circulation.
The Second Reading of the new Military Service Bill brought a
storm of accusations against the Government for having broken its
election-pledges. Had not the PRIME MINISTER and his colleagues gone
to the country on a cry of "No Conscription"? The Member for Derby
was particularly emphatic in his denunciation; but Mr. CHURCHILL
effectively countered him by quoting Mr. THOMAS'S own translation of
the pledges in question as meaning "Militarism and Conscription."
A little rift within the Coalition lute was revealed when Mr. SHAW
remarked that some people seemed to want "to make this country a fit
place for casuists to live in;" but the House as a whole took the view
that without an assured peace it would be no place for any one, and
passed the Second Reading by an overwhelming majority.
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[Illustration: _Conductor_. "OUTSIDE ONLY!"]
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