My Dear Charles,--You are a lawyer and you ought to know. Yet to
myself, when I compare my profits with those of the Government in this
deal, I seem a model of innocence.
Let me refresh your memory of the facts.
In the Spring of 1918 I was dispensing passports to deserving cases in
the name of His Majesty's Government. In the neutral country where I
was doing this there was a very wicked and a very plausible man, whom
we will call Mr. Abrahams (he has had so many surnames at one time and
another that a new one cannot do him any harm). Rate of exchange stood
at the figure of twenty local francs to the pound sterling, and, as
you would put it, other things were equal.
Mr. Abrahams was obsessed with a desire to see England, entirely for
its own sake. England, also thinking entirely of itself, was obsessed
with a desire not to see Mr. Abrahams. Mr. Abrahams came to my office,
said nice things about me to my face and begged me to let him go.
I said nice things to him, and told him I would if I could, but I
couldn't. He took this to mean I could if I would, but I wouldn't. He
offered me cash down; a cheque for five pounds sterling, or a note for
a hundred francs; I could have it which way I liked. We should call it
for appearance' sake a gift to His Majesty's Government for the better
prosecution of the War.
I thanked him cordially on behalf of His Majesty's Government, but
regretted that I was the victim of circumstances over which I had no
control. Refusing to believe there could be any circumstances which
could stand up against an officer of my power, position and force, he
produced a note for a hundred francs and put it on my table. He then
withdrew, meaning (I gathered) to return to the attack as soon as the
money had sunk in. From this point on, Mr. Abrahams disappears from
the story. It is not the first or only story, as the police will tell
you, from which Mr. Abrahams has disappeared.
My report to His Majesty's Government did not omit a full mention of
the matter of the five pounds or hundred francs offered. It begged for
instructions as to the disposal of the booty which, it stated, lay in
my "Suspense" basket. No instructions could be got, though frequent
messages, saying, "May we now have an answer, please?" were sent.
Weeks passed, and every morning I was tempted by the sight of that
note for a hundred francs lying in the basket. My _moral_ gradually
declined. So did the rate of exchange. So did the barometer.
There came a day, the weather being such that any man who could sin
would sin, when I had in my pocket a cheque made out for five pounds
which I was about to cash for lack of ready francs, and when the
rate of exchange had got as low as nineteen francs to the pound,
which would mean (I rely entirely on the evidence of the bank man)
ninety-five francs for my five pounds. Charles, I fell. Explaining to
myself that Mr. Abrahams had clearly intimated that his gift to the
Government was alternatively a cheque for five pounds or a note for
a hundred francs, I put my cheque into the "Suspense" basket and
pocketed the note, _thus making five francs profit_.
More weeks passed; no instructions came, and every day I was tempted
by the sight of that cheque. One bright summer morning, when any man
who had any goodness in him could not help being good, and when the
rate of exchange had risen to twenty-one, I came to my office full
of noble intentions and hundred franc notes of my own. I may mention
in passing that it takes very little money to fill me up. I had just
cashed a cheque of my own at the rate of a hundred-and-five francs to
the five pounds, and I felt robust and self-confident and ready to
do it again. There, on the top of my "Suspense" basket, lay just the
very cheque for the purpose. Charles, I fell again. Explaining to
myself that Mr. Abrahams had clearly intimated that his gift to the
Government was alternatively a note for a hundred francs or a cheque
for five pounds, I put a note for a hundred francs into the "Suspense"
basket, and pocketed the cheque, _thus making another five francs
profit_.
That, my Lord, is the case for the prosecution; but you may as well
have the rest of the story. Instructions or no instructions, I
thought it was now time to send the note for a hundred francs to the
Government. The Government said it had no use for francs in England,
sent back the note to me and told me to buy, locally, an English
cheque, which I was to hold, pending further instructions. It took
some time to arrive at this point, and meanwhile rate of exchange had
had a serious relapse. The hundred franc note bought a cheque for five
guineas. Not feeling strong enough to pend further instructions, I
at once sent this home. More haste, less speed: I forgot to endorse
it. After another period the cheque came back, with a memo. The memo
said: (1) His Majesty's Government had no love or use for unendorsed
cheques drawn in favour of other people. (2) His Majesty's Government
requested me to endorse the cheque, cash it locally and put the
proceeds to the credit side of my expenses account. (3) His Majesty's
Government trusted that Mr. Abrahams would not cause this sort of
trouble again.
Whether it was the stimulus given by this memo, or whether it
was merely a case of giving up the drink and becoming a reformed
character, rate of exchange had, I found when I went to carry out
orders, risen to and stuck at the dizzy height of twenty-three francs
and twenty centimes to the pound. His Majesty's Government has drawn
in the long run (the very long run) the sum of one hundred and
twenty-one francs and eighty centimes, thus making more than twice
as heavy a profit as I had. And yet you have the impudence to tell
me that I am guilty of embezzlement, with corruption.