MICKEY FREE.
Nearly three weeks followed the event I have just narrated ere I again was
restored to consciousness. The blow by which I was felled--from what hand
coming it was never after discovered--had brought on concussion of the
brain, and for several days my life was despaired of. As by slow steps I
advanced towards recovery, I learned from Considine that Miss Dashwood,
whose life was saved by my interference, had testified, in the warmest
manner, her gratitude, and that Sir George had, up to the period of his
leaving the country, never omitted a single day to ride over and inquire
for me.
“You know, of course,” said the count, supposing such news was the most
likely to interest me,--“you know we beat them?”
“No. Pray tell me all. They’ve not let me hear anything hitherto.”
“One day finished the whole affair. We polled man for man till past two
o’clock, when our fellows lost all patience and beat their tallies out
of the town. The police came up, but they beat the police; then they got
soldiers, but, begad, they were too strong for them, too. Sir George
witnessed it all, and knowing besides how little chance he had of success,
deemed it best to give in; so that a little before five o’clock he
resigned. I must say no man could behave better. He came across the
hustings and shook hands with Godfrey; and as the news of the _scrimmage_
with his daughter had just arrived, said that he was sorry his prospect of
success had not been greater, that in resigning he might testify how deeply
he felt the debt the O’Malleys had laid him under.”
“And my uncle, how did he receive his advances?”
“Like his own honest self,--grasped his hand firmly; and upon my soul, I
think he was half sorry that he gained the day. Do you know, he took a
mighty fancy to that blue-eyed daughter of the old general’s. Faith,
Charley, if he was some twenty years younger, I would not say but--Come,
come, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings; but I have been staying here too
long. I’ll send up Mickey to sit with you. Mind and don’t be talking too
much to him.”
So saying, the worthy count left the room fully impressed that in hinting
at the possibility of my uncle’s marrying again, he had said something to
ruffle my temper.
For the next two or three weeks my life was one of the most tiresome
monotony. Strict injunctions had been given by the doctors to avoid
exciting me; and consequently, every one that came in walked on tiptoe,
spoke in whispers, and left me in five minutes. Reading was absolutely
forbidden; and with a sombre half-light to sit in, and chicken broth to
support nature, I dragged out as dreary an existence as any gentleman west
of Athlone.
Whenever my uncle or Considine were not in the room, my companion was my
own servant, Michael, or as he was better known, “Mickey Free.” Now, had
Mickey been left to his own free and unrestricted devices, the time would
not have hung so heavily; for among Mike’s manifold gifts he was possessed
of a very great flow of gossiping conversation. He knew all that was
doing in the county, and never was barren in his information wherever his
imagination could come into play. Mickey was the best hurler in the barony,
no mean performer on the violin, could dance the national bolero of “Tatter
Jack Walsh” in a way that charmed more than one soft heart beneath a red
woolsey bodice, and had, withal, the peculiar free-and-easy devil-may-care
kind of off-hand Irish way that never deserted him in the midst of his
wiliest and most subtle moments, giving to a very deep and cunning fellow
all the apparent frankness and openness of a country lad.
He had attached himself to me as a kind of sporting companion; and growing
daily more and more useful, had been gradually admitted to the honors of
the kitchen and the prerogatives of cast clothes, without ever having been
actually engaged as a servant; and while thus no warrant officer, as, in
fact, he discharged all his duties well and punctually, was rated among the
ship’s company, though no one could say at what precise period he changed
his caterpillar existence and became the gay butterfly with cords and
tops, a striped vest, and a most knowing jerry hat who stalked about
the stable-yard and bullied the helpers. Such was Mike. He had made his
fortune, such as it was, and had a most becoming pride in the fact that he
made himself indispensable to an establishment which, before he entered
it, never knew the want of him. As for me, he was everything to me. Mike
informed me what horse was wrong, why the chestnut mare couldn’t go out,
and why the black horse could. He knew the arrival of a new covey of
partridge quicker than the “Morning Post” does of a noble family from the
Continent, and could tell their whereabouts twice as accurately. But
his talents took a wider range than field sports afford, and he was the
faithful chronicler of every wake, station, wedding, or christening for
miles round; and as I took no small pleasure in those very national
pastimes, the information was of great value to me. To conclude this
brief sketch, Mike was a devout Catholic in the same sense that he was
enthusiastic about anything,--that is, he believed and obeyed exactly as
far as suited his own peculiar notions of comfort and happiness. Beyond
_that_, his scepticism stepped in and saved him from inconvenience; and
though he might have been somewhat puzzled to reduce his faith to a rubric,
still it answered his purpose, and that was all he wanted. Such, in short,
was my valet, Mickey Free, and who, had not heavy injunctions been laid on
him as to silence and discretion, would well have lightened my weary hours.
“Ah, then, Misther Charles!” said he, with a half-suppressed yawn at the
long period of probation his tongue had been undergoing in silence,--“ah,
then, but ye were mighty near it!”
“Near what?” said I.
“Faith, then, myself doesn’t well know. Some say it’s purgathory; but it’s
hard to tell.”
“I thought you were too good a Catholic, Mickey, to show any doubts on the
matter?”
“May be I am; may be I ain’t,” was the cautious reply.
“Wouldn’t Father Roach explain any of your difficulties for you, if you
went over to him?”
“Faix, it’s little I’d mind his explainings.”
“And why not?”
“Easy enough. If you ax ould Miles there, without, what does he be doing
with all the powther and shot, wouldn’t he tell you he’s shooting the
rooks, and the magpies, and some other varmint? But myself knows he sells
it to Widow Casey, at two-and-fourpence a pound; so belikes, Father Roach
may be shooting away at the poor souls in purgathory, that all this time
are enjoying the hoith of fine living in heaven, ye understand.”
“And you think that’s the way of it, Mickey?”
“Troth, it’s likely. Anyhow, I know its not the place they make it out.”
“Why, how do you mean?”
“Well, then, I’ll tell you, Misther Charles; but you must not be saying
anything about it afther, for I don’t like to talk about these kind of
things.”
Having pledged myself to the requisite silence and secrecy, Mickey began:--
“May be you heard tell of the way my father, rest his soul wherever he is,
came to his end. Well, I needn’t mind particulars, but, in short, he was
murdered in Ballinasloe one night, when he was baitin’ the whole town with
a blackthorn stick he had; more by token, a piece of a scythe was stuck at
the end of it,--a nate weapon, and one he was mighty partial to; but those
murdering thieves, the cattle-dealers, that never cared for diversion of
any kind, fell on him and broke his skull.
“Well, we had a very agreeable wake, and plenty of the best of everything,
and to spare, and I thought it was all over; but somehow, though I paid
Father Roach fifteen shillings, and made him mighty drunk, he always gave
me a black look wherever I met him, and when I took off my hat, he’d turn
away his head displeased like.
“‘Murder and ages,’ says I, ‘what’s this for?’ But as I’ve a light heart,
I bore up, and didn’t think more about it. One day, however, I was coming
home from Athlone market, by myself on the road, when Father Roach overtook
me. ‘Devil a one a me ‘ill take any notice of you now,’ says I, ‘and we’ll
see what’ll come out of it.’ So the priest rid up and looked me straight in
the face.
“‘Mickey,’ says he,--‘Mickey.’
“‘Father,’ says I.
“‘Is it that way you salute your clargy,’ says he, ‘with your caubeen on
your head?’
“‘Faix,’ says I, ‘it’s little ye mind whether it’s an or aff; for you never
take the trouble to say, “By your leave,” or “Damn your soul!” or any other
politeness when we meet.’
“‘You’re an ungrateful creature,’ says he; ‘and if you only knew, you’d be
trembling in your skin before me, this minute.’
“‘Devil a tremble,’ says I, ‘after walking six miles this way.’
“‘You’re an obstinate, hard-hearted sinner,’ says he; ‘and it’s no use in
telling you.’
“‘Telling me what?’ says I; for I was getting curious to make out what he
meant.
“‘Mickey,’ says he, changing his voice, and putting his head down close to
me,--‘Mickey, I saw your father last night.’
“‘The saints be merciful to us!’ said I, ‘did ye?’
“‘I did,’ says he.
“‘Tear an ages,’ says I, ‘did he tell you what he did with the new
corduroys he bought in the fair?’
“‘Oh, then, you are a could-hearted creature!’ says he, ‘and I’ll not lose
time with you.’ With that he was going to ride away, when I took hold of
the bridle.
“‘Father, darling,’ says I, ‘God pardon me, but them breeches is goin’
between me an’ my night’s rest; but tell me about my father?’
“‘Oh, then, he’s in a melancholy state!’
“‘Whereabouts is he?’ says I.
“‘In purgathory,’ says he; ‘but he won’t be there long.’
“‘Well,’ says I, ‘that’s a comfort, anyhow.’
“‘I am glad you think so,’ says he; ‘but there’s more of the other
opinion.’
“‘What’s _that?_’ says I.
“‘That hell’s worse.’
“‘Oh, melia-murther!’ says I, ‘is that it?’
“‘Ay, that’s it.’
“Well, I was so terrified and frightened, I said nothing for some time, but
trotted along beside the priest’s horse.
“‘Father,’ says I, ‘how long will it be before they send him where you
know?’
“‘It will not be long now,’ says he, ‘for they’re tired entirely with him;
they’ve no peace night or day,’ says he. ‘Mickey, your father is a mighty
hard man.’
“‘True for you, Father Roach,’ says I to myself; ‘av he had only the ould
stick with the scythe in it, I wish them joy of his company.’
“‘Mickey,’ says he, ‘I see you’re grieved, and I don’t wonder; sure, it’s a
great disgrace to a decent family.’
“‘Troth, it is,’ says I; ‘but my father always liked low company. Could
nothing be done for him now, Father Roach?’ says I, looking up in the
priest’s face.
“‘I’m greatly afraid, Mickey, he was a bad man, a very bad man.’
“‘And ye think he’ll go there?’ says I.
“‘Indeed, Mickey, I have my fears.’
“‘Upon my conscience,’ says I, ‘I believe you’re right; he was always a
restless crayture.’
“‘But it doesn’t depind on him,’ says the priest, crossly.
“‘And, then, who then?’ says I.
“‘Upon yourself, Mickey Free,’ says he, ‘God pardon you for it, too!’
“‘Upon me?’ says I.
“‘Troth, no less,’ says he; ‘how many Masses was said for your father’s
soul; how many Aves; how many Paters? Answer me.’
“‘Devil a one of me knows!--may be twenty.’
“‘Twenty, twenty!--no, nor one.’
“‘And why not?’ says I; ‘what for wouldn’t you be helping a poor crayture
out of trouble, when it wouldn’t cost you more nor a handful of prayers?’
“‘Mickey, I see,’ says he, in a solemn tone, ‘you’re worse nor a haythen;
but ye couldn’t be other, ye never come to yer duties.’
“‘Well, Father,’ says I, Looking very penitent, ‘how many Masses would get
him out?’
“‘Now you talk like a sensible man,’ says he. ‘Now, Mickey, I’ve hopes for
you. Let me see,’ here he went countin’ upon his fingers, and numberin’ to
himself for five minutes. ‘Mickey,’ says he, ‘I’ve a batch coming out on
Tuesday week, and if you were to make great exertions, perhaps your father
could come with them; that is, av they have made no objections.’
“‘And what for would they?’ says I; ‘he was always the hoith of company,
and av singing’s allowed in them parts--’
“‘God forgive you, Mickey, but yer in a benighted state,’ says he, sighing.
“‘Well,’ says I, ‘how’ll we get him out on Tuesday week? For that’s
bringing things to a focus.’
“‘Two Masses in the morning, fastin’,’ says Father Roach, half aloud, ‘is
two, and two in the afternoon is four, and two at vespers is six,’ says he;
‘six Masses a day for nine days is close by sixty Masses,--say sixty,’ says
he; ‘and they’ll cost you--mind, Mickey, and don’t be telling it again, for
it’s only to yourself I’d make them so cheap--a matter of three pounds.’
“‘Three pounds!’ says I; ‘be-gorra ye might as well ax me to give you the
rock of Cashel.’
“‘I’m sorry for ye, Mickey,’ says he, gatherin’ up the reins to ride
off,--‘I’m sorry for ye; and the time will come when the neglect of your
poor father will be a sore stroke agin yourself.’
“‘Wait a bit, your reverence,’ says I,--‘wait a bit. Would forty shillings
get him out?’
“‘Av course it wouldn’t,’ says he.
“‘May be,’ says I, coaxing,--‘may be, av you said that his son was a poor
boy that lived by his indhustry, and the times was bad--’
“‘Not the least use,’ says he.
“‘Arrah, but it’s hard-hearted they are,’ thinks I. ‘Well, see now, I’ll
give you the money, but I can’t afford it all at onst; but I’ll pay five
shillings a week. Will that do?’
“‘I’ll do my endayvors,’ says Father Roach; ‘and I’ll speak to them to
treat him peaceably in the meantime.’
“‘Long life to yer reverence, and do. Well, here now, here’s five hogs to
begin with; and, musha, but I never thought I’d be spending my loose change
that way.’
“Father Roach put the six tinpinnies in the pocket of his black leather
breeches, said something in Latin, bid me good-morning, and rode off.
“Well, to make my story short, I worked late and early to pay the five
shillings a week, and I did do it for three weeks regular; then I brought
four and fourpence; then it came down to one and tenpence halfpenny, then
ninepence, and at last I had nothing at all to bring.
“‘Mickey Free,’ says the priest, ‘ye must stir yourself. Your father is
mighty displeased at the way you’ve been doing of late; and av ye kept yer
word, he’d be near out by this time.’
“‘Troth,’ says I, ‘it’s a very expensive place.’
“‘By coorse it is,’ says he; ‘sure all the quality of the land’s there.
But, Mickey, my man, with a little exertion, your father’s business is
done. What are you jingling in your pocket there?’
“‘It’s ten shillings, your reverence, I have to buy seed potatoes.’
“‘Hand it here, my son. Isn’t it better your father would be enjoying
himself in paradise, than if ye were to have all the potatoes in Ireland?’
“‘And how do ye know,’ says I, ‘he’s so near out?’
“‘How do I know,--how do I know, is it? Didn’t I see him?’
“‘See him! Tear an ages, was you down there again?’
“‘I was,’ says he; ‘I was down there for three quarters of an hour
yesterday evening, getting out Luke Kennedy’s mother. Decent people the
Kennedy’s; never spared expense.’
“‘And ye seen my father?’ says I.
“‘I did,’ says he; ‘he had an ould flannel waistcoat on, and a pipe
sticking out of the pocket av it.’
“‘That’s him,’ says I. ‘Had he a hairy cap?’
“‘I didn’t mind the cap,’ says he; ‘but av coorse he wouldn’t have it on
his head in that place.’
“‘Thrue for you,’ says I. ‘Did he speak to you?’
“‘He did,’ says Father Roach; ‘he spoke very hard about the way he was
treated down there; that they was always jibin’ and jeerin’ him about
_drink_, and fightin’, and the course he led up here, and that it was a
queer thing, for the matter of ten shillings, he was to be kept there so
long.’
“‘Well,’ says I, taking out the ten shillings and counting it with one
hand, ‘we must do our best, anyhow; and ye think this’ll get him out
surely?’
“‘I know it will,’ says he; ‘for when Luke’s mother was leaving the place,
and yer father saw the door open, he made a rush at it, and, be-gorra,
before it was shut he got his head and one shoulder outside av it,--so
that, ye see, a thrifle more’ll do it.’
“‘Faix, and yer reverence,’ says I, ‘you’ve lightened my heart this
morning.’ And I put my money back again in my pocket.
“‘Why, what do you mean?’ says he, growing very red, for he was angry.
“‘Just this,’ says I, ‘that I’ve saved my money; for av it was my father
you seen, and that he got his head and one shoulder outside the door, oh,
then, by the powers!’ says I, ‘the devil a jail or jailer from hell to
Connaught id hould him. So, Father Roach, I wish you the top of the
morning.’ And I went away laughing; and from that day to this I never heard
more of purgathory; and ye see, Master Charles, I think I was right.”
Scarcely had Mike concluded when my door was suddenly burst open, and Sir
Harry Boyle, without assuming any of his usual precautions respecting
silence and quiet, rushed into the room, a broad grin upon his honest
features, and his eyes twinkling in a way that evidently showed me
something had occurred to amuse him.
“By Jove, Charley, I mustn’t keep it from you; it’s too good a thing not
to tell you. Do you remember that very essenced young gentleman who
accompanied Sir George Dashwood from Dublin, as a kind of electioneering
friend?”
“Do you mean Mr. Prettyman?”
“The very man; he was, you are aware, an under-secretary in some government
department. Well, it seems that he had come down among us poor savages as
much from motives of learned research and scientific inquiry, as though we
had been South Sea Islanders; report had gifted us humble Galwayans with
some very peculiar traits, and this gifted individual resolved to record
them. Whether the election week might have sufficed his appetite for
wonders I know not; but he was peaceably taking his departure from the west
on Saturday last, when Phil Macnamara met him, and pressed him to dine that
day with a few friends at his house. You know Phil; so that when I tell you
Sam Burke, of Greenmount, and Roger Doolan were of the party, I need
not say that the English traveller was not left to his own unassisted
imagination for his facts. Such anecdotes of our habits and customs as they
crammed him with, it would appear, never were heard before; nothing was
too hot or too heavy for the luckless cockney, who, when not sipping
his claret, was faithfully recording in his tablet the mems. for a very
brilliant and very original work on Ireland.
“Fine country, splendid country; glorious people,--gifted, brave,
intelligent, but not happy,--alas! Mr. Macnamara, not happy. But we don’t
know you, gentlemen,--we don’t indeed,--at the other side of the Channel.
Our notions regarding you are far, very far from just.”
“I hope and trust,” said old Burke, “you’ll help them to a better
understanding ere long.”
“Such, my dear sir, will be the proudest task of my life. The facts I have
heard here this evening have made so profound an impression upon me that I
burn for the moment when I can make them known to the world at large. To
think--just to think that a portion of this beautiful island should be
steeped in poverty; that the people not only live upon the mere potatoes,
but are absolutely obliged to wear the skins for raiment, as Mr. Doolan has
just mentioned to me!”
“‘Which accounts for our cultivation of lumpers,’ added Mr. Doolan, ‘they
being the largest species of the root, and best adapted for wearing
apparel.’
“‘I should deem myself culpable--indeed I should--did I not inform my
countrymen upon the real condition of this great country.’
“‘Why, after your great opportunities for judging,’ said Phil, ‘you ought
to speak out. You’ve seen us in a way, I may fairly affirm, few Englishmen
have, and heard more.’
“‘That’s it,--that’s the very thing, Mr. Macnamara. I’ve looked at you more
closely; I’ve watched you more narrowly; I’ve witnessed what the French
call your _vie intime_.’
“‘Begad you have,’ said old Burke, with a grin, ‘and profited by it to the
utmost.’
“‘I’ve been a spectator of your election contests; I’ve partaken of your
hospitality; I’ve witnessed your popular and national sports; I’ve
been present at your weddings, your fairs, your wakes; but no,--I was
forgetting,--I never saw a wake.’
“‘Never saw a wake?’ repeated each of the company in turn, as though the
gentleman was uttering a sentiment of very dubious veracity.
“‘Never,’ said Mr. Prettyman, rather abashed at this proof of his
incapacity to instruct his English friends upon _all_ matters of Irish
interest.
“‘Well, then,’ said Macnamara, ‘with a blessing, we’ll show you one.
Lord forbid that we shouldn’t do the honors of our poor country to an
intelligent foreigner when he’s good enough to come among us.’
“‘Peter,’ said he, turning to the servant behind him, ‘who’s dead
hereabouts?’
“‘Sorra one, yer honor. Since the scrimmage at Portumna the place is
peaceable.’
“‘Who died lately in the neighborhood?’
“‘The widow Macbride, yer honor.’
“‘Couldn’t they take her up again, Peter? My friend here never saw a wake.’
“‘I’m afeered not; for it was the boys roasted her, and she wouldn’t be a
decent corpse for to show a stranger,’ said Peter, in a whisper.
“Mr. Prettyman shuddered at these peaceful indications of the neighborhood,
and said nothing.
“‘Well, then, Peter, tell Jimmy Divine to take the old musket in my
bedroom, and go over to the Clunagh bog,--he can’t go wrong. There’s twelve
families there that never pay a halfpenny rent; and _when it’s done_, let
him give notice to the neighborhood, and we’ll have a rousing wake.’
“‘You don’t mean, Mr. Macnamara,--you don’t mean to say--’ stammered out
the cockney, with a face like a ghost.
“‘I only mean to say,’ said Phil, laughing, ‘that you’re keeping the
decanter very long at your right hand.’
“Burke contrived to interpose before the Englishman could ask any
explanation of what he had just heard,--and for some minutes he could only
wait in impatient anxiety,--when a loud report of a gun close beside the
house attracted the attention of the guests. The next moment old Peter
entered, his face radiant with smiles.
“‘Well, what’s that?’ said Macnamara.
“‘‘T was Jimmy, yer honor. As the evening was rainy, he said he’d take one
of the neighbors; and he hadn’t to go far, for Andy Moore was going home,
and he brought him down at once.’
“‘Did he shoot him?’ said Mr. Prettyman, while cold perspiration broke over
his forehead. ‘Did he murder the man?’
“‘Sorra murder,’ said Peter, disdainfully. ‘But why shouldn’t he shoot him
when the master bid him?’
“I needn’t tell you more, Charley; but in ten minutes after, feigning some
excuse to leave the room, the terrified cockney took flight, and offering
twenty guineas for a horse to convey him to Athlone, he left Galway, fully
convinced that they don’t yet know us on the other side of the Channel.”