When evening came, the blue colour of the sky had changed to one that
was a memory of the earth's new green. Helen went through the garden to
the moor and sat there on a grey rock out of which her own grey figure
might have been carved. She watched the stars blink forth and stare; she
saw the gradual darkening of the world, and then Halkett's moving shape
came towards her. Out here, he was in his proper place: the kitchen made
him clumsy, but wide places set him off, and she felt a kind of pride in
his quickness and his strength.
"George," she said softly as he would have passed her, and he swung
round and bent and took her in his arms, without hesitation or mistake.
"Were you waiting for me?" he whispered, and felt her nod against his
coat. She freed herself very gently. "Shall we stay out here?" he said.
"No. I have left Notya long enough."
"What made you wait for me?"
"I--don't know," she said. She had not asked herself the question, and
now the unspoken answer shocked her with its significance. She had gone
to wait for him without any thought. It might have been the night that
drew her out, but she knew it was not that. Once before, she had called
herself a slave, and so she labelled herself again, but now she did it
tremulously, without fierceness, aware that it was her own nature to
which she was chiefly bound.
"Are you going to wait for me every night?" she heard him say. "Give me
your hand, Helen. It is so small. Will you go over the wall or through
the door? I'd like to lift you over."
"No. I want to go through the garden. There are primroses there. Big
ones, like stars."
"It's you that are a star."
"I think they liked the snow. And the poplars are all buds. I wish I
could sit in the tree-tops and look right across the moor."
"And wait for me. And when I came I'd hold my arms out and you'd jump
into them."
"If I didn't fly away."
"Ay, I expect you would do that."
They did not speak again until they reached the house, and when she had
lighted the kitchen lamp she saw him looking moodily into the fire.
"Is Mrs. Biggs better?" she asked smoothly.
"What do you know about her?"
"I heard she was ill."
"Who told you?"
"Dr. Mackenzie."
"Oh, he's been again, has he?"
"Yes." Her voice had a ring in it. "And he will come tomorrow."
"And the next day, I suppose, and the next. I should have thought he'd
spare that old nag of his; but no, up he comes, and I want to know why."
She did not answer immediately because she feared to betray the
indignation that moved in her like a living thing. She found her sewing
and signed to him to put her chair into its place, and when she had
stitched steadily for a time she said in pleasant tones, "George, you
are like a bad person in a book."
"I'm not up to this kind of talk. You told me yourself that Mrs. Caniper
hardly needs a doctor. What does he come for, then? Is it for you?"
"No, it is not."
"Do you like the man?"
She opened her lips and shut them several times before she spoke. "I'm
very fond of him--and of Daniel."
"Oh, leave Daniel alone. No woman would look at him."
She gave him a considering gaze for which he could have struck her,
because it put him further from her than he had ever been.
"It's no good staring at me like that. I've seen you with him before
now."
"Everybody on the moor must have seen me with him."
"Yes, and walking pretty close. I remember that."
"Very likely you will see me walking with him again."
"No, by God!"
"Oh," she said, wearily, "how often you call on God's name."
"No wife of mine--"
She laughed. "You talk like Bluebeard. How many wives have you?"
"I've none," he cried in an extremity of bitterness. "But I'll have one
yet, and I'll keep her fast!"
She lifted her head in the haughty way he dreaded. "I will not endure
suspicions," she said clearly, but she flushed at her own words, for she
remembered that she had been willing to give Zebedee the lesser tokens
of her love, and it was only by his sternness that she could look George
in the eyes. Zebedee would have taken her boldly and completely,
believing his action justified, but he would have no little secret
dealings, and she was abashed by the realization of her willingness to
deceive. She was the nearer to George by that discovery, and the one
shame made her readier to suffer more.
"It's because I want you," he said, shading his eyes; and for the first
time she had no resentment for his desires.
"Oh, George, don't you think you had better go home?" she said.
"Why?" he asked her.
"Because--because I want to read."
"Well, I can watch you."
"And you won't think it rude?"
He shook his head. There was a rare joy in sitting within reach of her
and honouring her with his restraint.
Her slim feet were crossed on the dog's back, and she hardly stirred
except to turn a page: the firelight threw colours on her dress, behind
her there was a dark dresser where china gleamed, and sitting there, she
made a little picture of home for a man who could remember none but
hired women in his house.
"I wish you'd talk to me," he said, and at once she shut her book with a
charming air of willingness.
"Do you know what you've been reading about?" he dared to ask her slyly,
for surely she had been conscious of his thoughts of her.
She would not be fluttered. "Yes. Shall I tell you?"
"No," he said.
Her voice was influenced by the quick beating of her heart.
"Do you never read anything?"
"I gave it up long ago."
"Why? What did you do at night before you--"
"Before I married you? I used to smoke and wish it was time to go to
bed, and look at the newspaper sometimes."
"That must have been very dull."
"I used to watch the clock," he said. He leaned towards her and spoke
quickly, softly. "And I watch it still! From waking till dusk I watch it
and think of you, sitting and waiting for me. Oh, what's the good of
talking to me of books? You're here--and you're my wife, and I'll talk
to you of nothing but yourself." He knelt, and his hands were on her
waist. "Yourself--my beauty--my little saint--your little hands and
feet--your cheeks I want to kiss--your hair--" He drew her to his breast
and whispered, "How long is it--your hair?"
There was no resistance in her, and her neck could not hold up the head
that drooped over his shoulder when he kissed her ear and spoke in it.
"Helen--Helen--I love you. Tell me you love me. You've got to kiss
me--Yes--"
She answered in a quiet voice, but she stopped for breath between the
words. "I think--there's some one--in the hall. It must be John."
Reluctantly he loosed her, and she left him quickly for the dark passage
which covered and yet cooled her as she called out, "John! Is that you?"
"Both of us," Rupert answered.
"But it's Friday."
"Yes. Won't you let me have a whole holiday tomorrow?"
She looked back into the kitchen and saw George prepared to meet her
brothers. Never before had she seen him with so fine a manner, and,
smiling at him, she felt like a conspirator, leagued with this man who
was liberated by possession of her, against the two who would feel
horror when they learnt she was possessed.
John's jaw tightened as he saw George and nodded to him, but Rupert's
greeting had its usual friendliness.
"Hullo, here's George!" They shook hands. "I've not seen you for months.
What's the weather going to be tomorrow? It's starlight tonight."
"It'll be fine, I think."
"That's good. Helen, you've hidden my slippers again, and I told you
not to. What a fiend for tidiness you are!"
"I couldn't leave them in the dust." She was half enjoying her
self-consciousness. "They're in the cupboard."
"Find them, there's a dear."
She brought the slippers and went back to her chair. The three men
seemed to fill the kitchen. John was silent and, leaning against the
table, he filled his pipe and looked up sometimes as the others talked.
Rupert, slim against Halkett's bulk, alert and straight, was thinking
faster than he spoke, and while he reminded George of this and that, how
they had gone ratting once together, how George had let him try a colt
that he was breaking, Helen knew there were subtle questions in his
brain, but if George suspected them, he gave no sign. He was at his
ease, for with men he had neither diffidence nor surliness, and Helen
remembered that she had hardly seen him except in the presence of Miriam
or herself, two women who, in different ways, had teased him into
sulkiness.
Her heart lightened and, when he chanced to look at her, she smiled
again. A few seconds later, Rupert followed Helen's glance and learnt
what had caused the slight confusion of George's speech. She was looking
at him with an absorbed and hopeful interest. She was like a child
attracted by some new and changeful thing, and her beauty had an
animation it often lacked.
"Can't we all sit down?" Rupert said. He promised himself a pleasant
evening of speculation.
John handed his tobacco pouch to George and, having exchanged a few
remarks about the frost, the snow, the lambing season, they seemed to
consider that courtesy's demands had been fulfilled; but Rupert talked
to hide the curiosity which could have little satisfaction until Halkett
took his leave.
When he rose to go, he stood before Helen's chair and looked down at
her. He was so near that she had to throw back her head before she could
see his face.
"Good-night, George."
"Good-night." He took her hand and kissed it, nodded to the others, and
went out.
Imperceptibly, Helen straightened herself and took a breath. There was a
vague stir in the room.
"Well! I've never been more damned," John said.
"Why?" Helen asked.
"That salute. Is it his usual manner?"
"He has done it before. I liked it."
"He did it very well," said Rupert. "Inspired, I should think. Will you
have a cigarette?"
"Will it make me sick?"
"Try it. But why do we find you entertaining the moorland rake?"
She was absurd with the cigarette between her lips, and she asked
mumblingly as Rupert held the match, "Why do you call him that?"
Rupert spread his hands. "He has a reputation."
"And he deserves it," said John.
She took the cigarette and many little pieces of tobacco from her mouth.
"Before you go any further, I think I had better tell you that I am
married to him."
"Good God!" John said, in a conversational tone.
There was a pause that threatened to be everlasting.
"Helen, dear, did you say 'married to him'?"
"Yes, I did."
Rupert lighted one cigarette from another and carefully threw the old
one into the fire.
"When?" John asked. He was still staring at her.
"I forget the date."
"Won't you tell us about it?" Rupert said. He leaned against the
mantelpiece and puffed quickly.
"There's nothing more to tell."
"But when was it?" John persisted.
"Oh--about a month, six weeks, ago. The paper is upstairs, but one
forgets."
"Wants to?"
"I didn't say so, did I? Notya is not to know."
"And Zebedee?"
"Of course he knows."
Rupert was frowning on her with a troubled look, and she knew he was
trying to understand, that he was anxious not to hurt her.
"I'm damned if I understand it," John muttered.
Her lips had a set smile. "I'm sure," she said lightly, "you'll never be
damned for that. I'm afraid I can't explain, but Zebedee knows
everything."
They found nothing else to say: John turned away, at last, and busied
himself uneasily with his pipe: Rupert's cigarette became distasteful,
and, throwing it after the other, he drove his hands into his pockets
and watched it burn.
"I suppose we ought to have congratulated George," he said, and looked
grieved at the omission.
Helen laughed on a high note, and though she knew she was disclosing her
own trouble by that laughter, she could not stay it.
"Oh, Rupert, don't!"
"My dear, I know it's funny, but I meant it. I wish I could marry you
myself."
She laughed again and waved them both away. "Go and see Notya. She may
not be asleep."
When John came downstairs, he looked through the kitchen door and said
good-night; then he advanced and kissed her. She could not remember when
he had last done that, and it was, she thought, as though he kissed the
dead. He patted her arm awkwardly.
"Good-night, child."
"Don't worry," she said, steadying her lips.
"Is there anything we can do?"
"Be nice to George."
"Oh, I've got to be."
"John, I wish you wouldn't talk as if he's--bad."
"I didn't mean to set myself up as judge, but I never liked him."
"But I like him," she said. "Go home and tell Lily. I'm afraid she'll
lie awake all night!"
"What a family this is!"
"Once, I might have said that to you. I didn't, John."
"But we are a success."
"And why should we not be? We shall be! We--we are. Go home.
Good-night."
She waited for Rupert, dreading his quick eyes.
"Notya seems better," he said easily. "Well, did you finish the
cigarette?"
"I didn't like it."
"And it looked wrong. A piece of fine sewing suits you better."
She smiled. "Does it? Have you had supper?"
"Lily fed me. I like that girl. The only people I ever want to marry are
the ones that some one else has chosen. It's contrariness, I suppose."
He looked round. "Two arm-chairs? Do you always sit here?"
"Yes. Notya can't hear us."
"I see."
"And you want to see the rest?"
"I do."
"I shall show you nothing."
"I'd rather find it out."
"Tomorrow," she said, "you will see Daniel and Zebedee. I know you'll be
curious about him. I don't mind, but don't let him notice it, please,
Rupert."
He marked her little tremor. "Trust me. I'm wasted on the bank."
"You and Daniel will have a fine talk, I suppose. The walls of that
house are very thin. Be careful."
"Yes, my dear. I can't help wishing I had not left home."
She stood up. "I don't wish anything undone. If you begin undoing, you
find yourself in a worse tangle."
"You're not unhappy?"
"Do I look it?"
"You always answer one question with another. You didn't look it. You do
now."
She sighed. "I almost wish you hadn't come, Rupert. You made beauty seem
so near."