CHAPTER XVII

Lily and John went down the track: Mildred Caniper climbed slowly, but

with dignity, up the stairs; Miriam was heard to bang her bedroom door

and Rupert and Helen were left together in the schoolroom.

"I can't get the tinker out of my head," she told him.

"I must have done it very well."

"Miriam didn't like it. She thought it silly."

"So it is."

"No, it's real, so real that he has been sitting in our hollow," she

complained.

"That won't do. Turn him out. He doesn't belong to our moor."

"No. I think I'll go for a walk and forget him."

"I should," he said, in his sympathetic way. "I won't go to bed till you

come back." He pulled his chair nearer to the lamp, opened a book and

contentedly heard Helen leave the house, for though he was fond of her

there were times when her forebodings and her conscience became

wearisome. Let the moor be her confessor tonight!

Helen dropped into the darkness like a swimmer taking deep water quietly

and at once she was immersed in happiness. She forgot her stepmother

sitting so stiffly on the sofa and for a little while she forgot that

the future which held her and Zebedee in its embrace held a solitary

Mildred Caniper less warmly. In the scented night, Helen allowed herself

to taste joy without misgiving.

She walked slowly because she was hemmed in by feelings which were

blissful and undefined: she knew only that the world smelt sweeter than

it had ever done, that the stars shone with amazing brightness. Through

the darkness she could see the splendid curves of the moor and the

shapes of thorn bushes thick with leaves. The familiar friends of other

days seemed to wait upon her happiness, but the stars laughed at her as

they had always done. She looked up and saw a host of them, clear and

distant, shining in a sky so blue and vast that to see it was like

flight. They were secure in their high places, and with the smiling

benignity of gods they assured her of her littleness, and gladly she

accepted that assurance, for she shared her littleness with Zebedee, and

now she understood that her happiness was made of small great things, of

the hope of caring for him, of keeping that shining house in order, of

cradling children in wide, airy rooms. She had a sudden desire to mend

Zebedee's clothes and put them neatly in their places, to feel the

smoothness of his freshly-laundered collars in her hand.

She sat down in the heather and it was her turn to laugh up at the stars

who could do none of these things and lived in isolated grandeur. The

earth was nearer to her finite mind. It was warm with the sunshine of

many days and trodden by human, beloved feet; it offered up food and

drink and consolation. Darker than the sky, it had no colour but its

own, yet Helen sat among pale spikes of blossom.

It was a night when even those beings who could not wander in the

daytime must be content to lie and listen to the silence, when evil must

run from the face of beauty and hide itself in streets. All round her,

Helen fancied shapes without substance, lying in worship of the night

which was their element, and when she rose from her bed at last she

moved with quietness lest she should disturb them.

She had not gone far before she was aware that some one else was walking

on the moor. For a moment she thought it must be Rupert in search of

her, but Rupert would have called out, and this person, while he

rustled through the heather, let forth a low whistled note, and though

he went with care, it was for some purpose of his own and not for

courtesy towards the mystery of the night.

She could not decide from what direction the sounds came; she stopped

and they stopped; then she heard the whistle again, but nearer now, and

with a sudden realization of loneliness and of the womanhood which had

seldom troubled her, she ran with all her strength and speed for home.

Memories ran with her strangely, and brought back that day when she had

been hotly chased by Mrs. Brent's big bull, and she remembered how,

through all his fears for her, Rupert had laughed as though he would

never stop. She laughed in recollection, but more in fear. The bull had

snorted, his hoofs had thundered after her, as these feet were

thundering now.

"But this is the tinker, the tinker!" her mind cried in terror, and

overcome by her quickened breathing, by some sense of the inevitable in

this affair, she stumbled as she ran. She saved herself, but a hand

caught at her wrist and some one uttered a sound of satisfaction.

She did not struggle, but she wondered why God had made woman's strength

so disproportionate to man's, and looking up, she saw that it was George

Halkett who held her. At the same moment he would have loosed her hand,

but she clung to his because she was trembling fiercely.

"Oh, George," she said, "it's you! And I thought it was some one

horrid!"

She could not see him blush. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. She gleamed, in

the starlight, as he had seen pale rocks gleaming on such a night, but

she felt like the warm flesh she was, and the oval of her face was plain

to him; he thought he could see the fear leaving her widely-opened eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said again, and made an awkward movement. "I

thought--I--Wouldn't you like to sit down? There's a stone here."

"It's the one I fell against!" She dropped on to it and laughed. "You

weren't there, were you, years and years ago, when the bull chased me?

That red bull of Mrs. Brent's? He was old and cross. No, of course you

weren't."

"I remember the beast. He had a broken horn."

"Yes. Just a stump. It made him frightful. I dream about him now. And

when you were running after me--"

He broke in with a muffled exclamation and shifted from one foot to the

other like a chidden child. "I'm sorry," he said again, and muttered,

"Fool!" as he bent towards her. "Did you hurt yourself against that

stone? Are you all right? You've only slippers on."

"I've nearly stopped shaking," she said practically. "And it doesn't

matter. You didn't mean to do it. I must go home. Rupert is waiting for

me."

His voice was humble. "I don't believe I've spoken to you since that day

in the hollow."

She remembered that occasion and the curious moment when she felt his

eyes on her, and she was reminded that though he had not been running

after her, he had certainly been running after somebody. She glanced at

him and he looked very tall as he stood there, as tall as the tinker.

"Why don't you sit down?" she asked quickly, and as he did so she added,

on a new thought, "But perhaps I'm keeping you. Perhaps--Don't wait for

me."

"I've nothing else to do," he told her.

"I spoke to you," she said, "the day after your father died."

"I meant alone," he answered.

They sat in silence after that, and for Helen the smell of heather was

the speech of those immaterial ones who lay about her. Some change had

taken place among the stars: they were paler, nearer, as though they had

grown tired of eminence and wanted commerce with the earth. The great

quiet had failed before the encroachment of little sounds as of

burrowing, nocturnal hunting, and the struggles of a breeze that was

always foiled.

"Do you know what time it is?" Helen asked in a small voice.

He held his watch sideways, but he had to strike a match, and its light

drew all the eyes of the moor.

"Quick!" Helen said.

He was not to be hurried. "Not far off midnight."

"And Rupert's waiting! Good-night, George."

"And you've forgiven me?" he asked as they parted at the gate.

"No." She laughed almost as Miriam might have done, and startled him.

"I'll forgive you," she said, "I'll forgive you when you really hurt

me." She gave him her cool hand and, holding it, he half asked, half

told her, "That's a promise."

"Yes. Good-night."

Slowly she walked through the dark hall, hesitated at the schoolroom

door and opened it.

"I've come back," she said, and disappeared before Rupert could reply,

for she was afraid he would make some allusion to the tinker.

It was characteristic of her that, as she undressed, carefully laying

her clothes aside, her concern was for George's moral welfare rather

than for the safety of the person for whom he had mistaken her, and this

was because she happened to know George, had known him nearly all her

life, while the identity of the other was a blank to her, because she

had no peculiar feeling for her sex; men and women were separated or

united only by their claim on her.

Mildred Caniper, whose claim was great, came down to breakfast the next

morning with a return of energy that gladdened Helen and set Miriam

thinking swiftly of all the things she had left undone. But Mildred

Caniper was fair, and where she no longer ruled, she would not

criticize. She condescended, however, to ask one question.

"Who was on the moor last night?"

"Daniel," Helen said.

"Zebedee," said Miriam.

"Zebedee?" she said, pretending not to know to whom that name belonged.

"Dr. Mackenzie."

"Oh."

"The father of James and John," Miriam murmured.

"So he has children?" Mrs. Caniper went on with her superb assumption

that no one joked in conversation with her.

"Oh, I don't think so," Helen said earnestly. "He isn't married! Miriam

meant the gentleman in the Bible."

"I see." Her glance pitied Miriam. "But this was early in the evening.

Some one came in very late. Rupert, perhaps."

"No, it was me," Helen said.

"I," Mildred Caniper corrected.

"Yes. I."

"Did I hear voices?"

"Did you?" Helen returned in another tone and with an innocence that

surprised herself and revealed the deceit latent in the mouth of the

most truthful. It was long since she had been so near a lie and lying

was ugly: it made smudges on the world; but disloyalty was no better,

and though she could not have explained the debt, she felt that she owed

George silence. She had to choose. He had been like a child as he

fumbled over his apologies and she could not but be tender with a

child. Yet only a few seconds earlier she had thought he was the tinker.

Oh, why had Rupert ever told her of the tinker?

"I would rather you did not wander on the moor so late at night,"

Mildred Caniper said.

"But it's the best time of all."

"I would rather you did not."

"Very well. I'll try to remember."

A sign from Miriam drew Helen into the garden.

"Silly of you to come in by the front way. Of course she heard. If the

garden door is locked, you can climb the wall and get on to the scullery

roof. Then there's my window."

Helen measured the distance with her eye. "It's too high up."

"Throw up a shoe and I'll lower a chair for you."

"But--this is horrid," Helen said. "Why should I?"

Miriam's thin shoulders went up and down. "You never know, you never

know," she chanted. "You never know what you may come to."

"Don't!" Helen begged. She leaned against a poplar and looked mournfully

from the window to Miriam's face.

"No," Miriam said, "I've never done it. I only planned it in case of

need. It would be a way of escape, too, if she ever locked me up. She's

capable of that. Helen, I don't like this rejuvenation!"

"Don't," Helen said again.

"I haven't mended the sheets she gave me weeks ago."

"I'll help you with them."

"Good, kind, Christian girl! There's nothing like having a reputation to

keep up. That's why I told you about my secret road."

"You're--vulgar."

"No, I'm human, and very young, and rather beautiful. And quite

intelligent." There came on her face the look which made her seem old

and tired with her own knowledge. "Was it Zebedee last night?"

Heat ran over Helen's body like a living thing.

"You're hateful," she stammered. "As though Zebedee and I--as though

Zebedee and I would meet by stealth!"

"Honestly, I can't see why you shouldn't. Why shouldn't you?"

Helen smoothed her forehead with both hands. "It was the way you said

it," she murmured painfully and then straightened herself. "Of course

nothing Zebedee would do could be anything but good. I beg his pardon."

And in a failing voice, she explained again, "It was the way you said

it."

"I suppose I'm not really a nice person," Miriam replied.

Moor Fires · 第 17 / 39 章