No, sir, not for you, says Ed, I wouldn't advise no beer. You put these
here temperance drinks like beer and sassperiller into your stomach,
sir, and it takes up a lot of room you will wish you had later in the
day. For some people I would say beer wouldn't do no harm, sir, but I
should say, sir, that it was the wrong thing for you.
One of them long silver fizzes with ice shook up into it would sound
nice to my ears as it went down my oozlygoozlum you would say to Ed.
Ed he is kind of lazy with the heat and he don't want to shake it up so
he says to you on a hot day like this you are taking chances with your
life every time you put ice drinks into you and he says what's the
matter with that rye you been drinking all the early part of the day
that is the best thing to keep the presspiration coming out of your
sweat pores.
Well, no sooner said than done.
The number of times them old-fashioned bartenders has saved my life
summer and winter with good advice is as too numerous to mention as is
the stars in the sky and their name is legend as the good book says.
In them days when there was a barroom on every corner and sometimes four
barrooms on every four corners I never cared about the weather at all
for I knowed no matter what the weather was I could keep my health safe.
If you was to look out the barroom window and see a sudden change in the
weather you could make a sudden change and switch to some other kind of
drink and keep yourself protected from them sudden changes.
But in these days when a sudden change in the weather comes what
protection have you got I would like to know. You are running the risks
of them sudden changes all the time day and night, and no chance to
change your drink to meet them with for you are lucky if you have one
kind of liquor let alone all the different kinds of ingredients you used
to ornament your digestion with.
Nowadays when the weather ain't just right I have to stay home in my own
room up to the top of the house where I got that little bar rigged up
where I wait on myself and staying to home all the time ain't any too
good for me.
It don't give me a chance to get any outdoor exercise, staying at
home don't and a man needs outdoor exercise if he is going to keep his
health.
That is another thing Prohibition has done to me: it has took away all
my chance for outdoor exercise.
I reckon them Prohibitionists will be satisfied when they got
everybody's health broke down on account of them sudden changes in the
weather and nobody getting any outdoor exercise any more.