No one can answer the question, and I have not the pluck--being a
law-abiding citizen--to try for myself. But I do so want to know. I ask
everyone. I ask my partners at dinner (when any dinner comes my way). I ask
casual acquaintances. I would ask the officials themselves, only they are
so preoccupied. But the words certainly set up a very engrossing problem,
and upon this problem many minor problems depend, clustering round it like
chickens round the maternal hen. But I should be quite content with an
answer only to the hen; the rest could wait. Yet there is an
inter-dependence between them that cannot be overlooked. For example, did
someone once do it and meet with such a calamity that everyone else had to
be warned? Or is it merely that the authorities dislike us to be comfy? Or
is it thought that the public might get so much attracted by the habit as
to convert the place into a house where a dance is in progress? I wish I
knew these things.
Will not some Member ask for information in the House, and then--arising
out of this question--get all the other subsidiary facts? We are told so
many things that don't matter, such as the enormous number of Ministers in
the new Government, which was formed, if I remember rightly, as a protest
against too large a Cabinet; such as the colossal genius of each and every
performer in Mr. COCHRANE'S theatrical companies; such as the best place in
Oxford Street to contract the shopping habit; such as the breaks made day
by day all through the War by billiard champions; such as the departure of
Mr. G.B. SHAW on his bewildering and, one would think, totally unnecessary
visit to the Front and his return from that experience; such as--but
enough. I am told by the informative Press all these and more things, but
no one tells me the one thing I want to know.
Perhaps YOU can.
I want to know why we may not sit on the Tube moving staircases, and I want
to know what would happen if we did.
* * * * *
What to do with Our Dogs.
"FOR SALE.--Pure Bred Irish Terrier Dog, right thing to wear now.
Seamless, comfortable. All Wool."--_Bedford Daily Circular_.
* * * * *
"Bread embroideries encircle the figure."--_Glasgow Citizen_.
An appropriate adornment for the bread basket, no doubt, but too
extravagant in these times.
* * * * *