the makings of a crib.
_Nestor:_ What would you want, I wonder, going out fowling with a
crib?
_Nally:_ Why wouldn't I want it? Why wouldn't I have leave to catch a
bird the same as every other one?
_Nestor:_ And what would the likes of you be wanting with a bird?
_Nally:_ What would I want with it, is it? Why wouldn't I be getting
my own ten pounds?
_Nestor:_ Heaven help your poor head this day!
_Nally:_ Why wouldn't I get it the same as Mrs. Broderick got it?
_Nestor:_ Well, listen to me now. You will not get it.
_Nally:_ Sure that man is buying them will have no objection they to
come from one more than another.
_Nestor:_ Don't be arguing now. It is a queer thing for you, Tommy
Nally, to be arguing with a man like myself.
_Nally:_ Think now all the good it would do me ten pound to be put in
my hand! It is not you should be begrudging it to me, Mr. Nestor. Sure
it would be a relief upon the rates.
_Nestor:_ I tell you you will not get ten pound or any pound at all.
Can't you give attention to what I say?
_Nally:_ If I had but the price of the trap you wouldn't refuse it to
me. Well, isn't there great hardship upon a man to be bet up and to
have no credit in the town at all.
_Nestor:_ (_Exasperated, and giving him the cage._) Look here now, I
have a right to turn you out into the street. But, as you are silly
like and with no great share of wits, I will make you a present of
this bird till you try what will you get for it, and till you see will
you get as much as will cover its diet for one day only. Go out now
looking for customers and maybe you will believe what I say.
_Nally:_ (_Seizing it._) That you may be doing the same thing this
day fifty years! My fortune's made now! (_Goes out with cage._)
_Nestor:_ (_Sitting down._) My joy go with you, but I'm bothered with
the whole of you. Everyone expecting me to do their business and to
manage their affairs. That is the drawback of being an educated man!
(_Takes up paper to read._)
_Mrs. Broderick:_ (_Coming in._) I declare I'm as comforted as Job
coming free into the house from the Court!
_Nestor:_ Well, indeed, ma'am, I am well satisfied to be able to do
what I did for you, and for my friend from Africa as well, giving him
so fine and so handsome a bird.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Sure Finn himself that chewed his thumb had not your
wisdom, or King Solomon that kept order over his kingdom and his own
seven hundred wives. There is neither of them could be put beside you
for settling the business of any person at all.
(_Sibby comes in holding up her netted bag._)
_Nestor:_ What is it you have there, Sibby?
_Sibby:_ Look at them here, look at them here.... I wasn't long
getting them. Warm they are yet; they will take no injury.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ What are they at all?
_Sibby:_ It is eggs they are ... look at them. Jackdaws' eggs.
_Nestor:_ (_Suspiciously._) And what call have you now to be bringing
in jackdaws' eggs?
_Sibby:_ Is it ten pound apiece I will get for them do you think, or
is it but ten pound I will get for the whole of them?
_Nestor:_ Is it drink, or is it tea, or is it some change that is come
upon the world that is fitting the people of this place for the asylum
in Ballinasloe?
_Sibby:_ I know of a good clocking hen. I will put the eggs under
her.... I will rear them when they'll be hatched out.
_Nestor:_ I suppose now, Mrs. Broderick, you went belling the case
through the town?
_Mrs. Broderick:_ I did not, but to the Magistrates upon the bench
that I told it out of respect to, and I never mentioned your name in
it at all.
_Sibby:_ Tell me now, Mrs. Broderick, who have I to apply to?
_Mrs. Broderick:_ What is it you are wanting to apply about?
_Sibby:_ Will you tell me where is the man that is after buying your
jackdaw?
_Mrs. Broderick:_ (_Looking at Nestor._) What's that? Where is he, is
it?
_Nestor:_ (_Making signs of silence._) How would you know where he is?
It is not in a broken little town of this sort such a man would be
stopping, and he having his business finished.
_Sibby:_ Sure he will have to be coming back here for the bird. I will
stop till I'll see him drawing near.
_Nestor:_ It is more likely he will get it consigned to the shipping
agent. Mind what I say now, it is best not be speaking of him at all.
(_Timothy Ward comes in triumphantly, croaking his toy. He has
a bird in his hand._)
_Ward:_ I chanced on a starling. It was not with this I tempted him,
but a little chap that had him in a crib. Would you say now, Mr.
Nestor, would that do as well as a jackdaw? Look now, it's as handsome
every bit as the other. And anyway it is likely they will both die
before they will reach to their journey's end.
_Nestor:_ (_Lifting up his hands._) Of all the foolishness that ever
came upon the world!
_Ward:_ Hurry on now, Mrs. Broderick, tell me where will I bring it to
the buyer you were speaking of. He is fluttering that hard it is much
if I can keep him in my hand. Is it at Noonan's Royal Hotel he is or
is it at Mack's?
_Nestor:_ (_Shaking his head threateningly._) How can you tell that
and you not knowing it yourself?
_Ward:_ Sure you have a right to know what way did he go, and he after
going out of this.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ (_Her eyes apprehensively on Nestor._) Ah, sure, my
mind was tattered on me. I couldn't know did he go east or west.
Standing here in this place I was, like a ghost that got a knock upon
its head.
_Ward:_ If he is coming back for the bird it is here he will be
coming, and if it is to be sent after him it is likely you will have
his address.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ So I should, too, I suppose. Where now did I put it?
(_She looks to Nestor for orders, but cannot understand his signs, and
turns out pocket._) That's my specs ... that's the key of the box ...
that's a bit of root liquorice.... Where now at all could I have left
down that address?
_Ward:_ There has no train left since he was here. Sure what does it
matter so long as he did not go out of this. I'll bring this bird to
the railway. Tell me what sort was he till I'll know him.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ (_Still looking at Nestor._) Well, he was middling
tall ... not very gross ... about the figure now of Mr. Nestor.
_Ward:_ What aged man was he?
_Mrs. Broderick:_ I suppose up to sixty years. About the one age,
you'd say, with Mr. Nestor.
_Ward:_ Give me some better account now; it is hardly I would make him
out by that.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ A grey beard he has hanging down ... and a bald
poll, and grey hair like a fringe around it ... just for all the world
like Mr. Nestor!
_Nestor:_ (_Jumping up._) There is nothing so disagreeable in the
whole world as a woman that has too much talk.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Well, let me alone. Where's the use of them all
picking at me to say where did I get the money when I am under orders
not to tell it?
_Ward:_ Under orders?
_Mrs. Broderick:_ I am, and strong orders.
_Ward:_ Whose orders are those?
_Mrs. Broderick:_ What's that to you, I ask you?
_Ward:_ Isn't it a pity now a woman to be so unneighbourly and she
after getting profit for herself?
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Look now, Mr. Nestor, the way they are going on at
me, and you saying no word for me at all.
_Ward:_ How would he say any word when he hasn't it to say? The only
word could be said by any one is that you are a mean grasping person,
gathering what you can for your own profit and keeping yourself so
close and so compact. It is back to the Court I am going, and it's no
good friend I'll be to you from this out, Mrs. Broderick!
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Amn't I telling you I was bidden not to tell?
_Sibby:_ You were. And is it likely it was you yourself bid yourself
and gave you that advice, Mrs. Broderick? It is what I think the bird
was never bought at all. It is in some other way she got the money.
Maybe in a way she does not like to be talking of. Light weights,
light fingers! Let us go away so and leave her, herself and her money
and her orders! (_Timothy Ward goes out, but Sibby stops at door._)
And much good may they do her.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Listen to that, Mr. Nestor! Will you be listening to
that, when one word from yourself would clear my character! I leave it
now between you and the hearers. Why would I be questioned this way
and that way, the same as if I was on the green table before the
judges? You have my heart broke between you. It's best for me to heat
the kettle and wet a drop of tea.
(_Goes to inner room._)
_Sibby:_ Tell us the truth now, Mr. Nestor, if you know anything at
all about it.
_Nestor:_ I know everything about it. It was to myself the notes were
handed in the first place. I am willing to take my oath to you on
that. It was a stranger, I said, came in.
_Sibby:_ I wish I could see him and know him if I did see him.
_Nestor:_ It is likely you would know a man of that sort if you did
see him, Sibby Fahy. It is likely you never saw a man yet that owns
riches would buy up the half of this town.
_Sibby:_ It is not always them that has the most that makes the most
show. But it is likely he will have a good dark suit anyway, and
shining boots, and a gold chain hanging over his chest.
_Nestor:_ (_Sarcastically._) He will, and gold rings and pins the same
as the King of France or of Spain.
(_Enter Cooney, hatless, streaked with soot and lime,
speechless but triumphant. He holds up a nest with nestlings._)
_Nestor:_ What has happened you, Mr. Cooney, at all?
_Cooney:_ Look now, what I have got!
_Nestor:_ A nest, is it?
_Cooney:_ Three young ones in it!
_Nestor:_ (_Faintly._) Is it what you are going to say they are
jackdaws!
_Cooney:_ I followed your directions....
_Nestor:_ How do you make that out?
_Caoney:_ You said the mill chimneys were full of them....
_Nestor:_ What has that to do with it?
_Cooney:_ I left my rake after me broken in the loft ... my hat went
away in the millrace ... I tore my coat on the stones ... there has
mortar got into my eye....
_Nestor:_ The Lord bless and save us!
_Cooney:_ But there is no man can say I did not bring back the birds,
sound and living and in good health. Look now, the open mouths of
them! (_All gather round_.) Three of them safe and living.... I lost
one climbing the wall. ... Where now is the man is going to buy them?
_Sibby:_ (_Pointing at Nestor._) It is he that can tell you that.
_Cooney:_ Make no delay bringing me to him. I'm in dread they might
die on me first.
_Nestor:_ You should know well that no one is buying them.
_Sibby:_ No one! Sure it was you yourself told us that there was!
_Nestor:_ If I did itself there is no such a man.
_Sibby:_ It's not above two minutes he was telling of the rings and
the pins he wore.
_Nestor:_ He never was in it at all.
_Cooney:_ What plan is he making up now to defraud me and to rob me?
_Sibby:_ Question him yourself, and you will see what will he say.
_Cooney:_ How can I ask questions of a man that is telling lies?
_Nestor:_ I am telling no lies. I am well able to answer you and to
tell you the truth.
_Cooney:_ Tell me where is the man that will give me cash for these
birds, the same as he gave it to the woman of this house?
_Sibby:_ That's it, that is it. Let him tell it out now.
_Cooney:_ Will you have me ask it as often as the hairs of my head? If
I get vexed I will make you answer me.
_Nestor:_ It seems to me to have set fire to a rick, but I am well
able to quench it after. There is no man in South Africa, or that came
from South Africa, or that ever owned a mine there at all. Where is
the man bought the bird, are you asking? There he is standing among us
on this floor. (_Points to Cooney._) That is himself, the very man!
_Cooney:_ (_Advancing a step._) What is that you are saying?
_Nestor:_ I say that no one came in here but yourself.
_Cooney:_ Did he say or not say there was a rich man came in?
_Sibby:_ He did, surely.
_Nestor:_ To make up a plan....
_Cooney:_ I know well you have made up a plan.
_Nestor:_ To give it unknownst....
_Cooney:_ It is to keep it unknownst you are wanting!
_Nestor:_ The way she would not suspect....
_Cooney:_ It is I myself suspect and have cause to suspect! Give me
back my own ten pounds and I'll be satisfied.
_Nestor:_ What way can I give it back?
_Cooney:_ The same way as you took it, in the palm of your hand.
_Nestor:_ Sure it is paid away and spent....
_Cooney:_ If it is you'll repay it! I know as well as if I was inside
you you are striving to make me your prey! But I'll sober you! It is
into the Court I will drag you, and as far as the gaol!
_Nestor:_ I tell you I gave it to the widow woman....
(_Mrs. Broderick comes in._)
_Cooney:_ Let her say now did you.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ What is it at all? What is happening? Joseph Nestor
threatened by a tinker or a tramp!
_Nestor:_ I would think better of his behaviour if he was a tinker or
a tramp.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ He has drink taken so. Isn't drink the terrible
tempter, a man to see flames and punishment upon the one side and
drink upon the other, and to turn his face towards the drink!
_Cooney:_ Will you stop your chat, Mary Broderick, till I will drag
the truth out of this traitor?
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Who is that calling me by my name? Och! Is it
Michael Cooney is in it? Michael Cooney, my brother! O Michael, what
will they think of you coming into the town and much like a rag on a
stick would be scaring in the wheatfield through the day?
_Cooney:_ (_Pointing at Nestor._) It was going up in the mill I
destroyed myself, following the directions of that ruffian!
_Mrs. Broderick:_ And what call has a man that has drink taken to go
climbing up a loft in a mill? A crooked mind you had always, and
that's a sort of person drink doesn't suit.
_Cooney:_ I tell you I didn't take a glass over a counter this ten
year.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ You would do well to go learn behaviour from Mr.
Nestor.
_Cooney:_ The man that has me plundered and robbed! Tell me this now,
if you can tell it. Did you find any pound notes in "Old Moore's
Almanac"?
_Mrs. Broderick:_ I did not to be sure, or in any other place.
_Nestor:_ She came in at the door and I striving to put them into the
book.
_Cooney:_ Look are they in it now, and I will say he is not tricky,
but honest.
_Nestor:_ You needn't be looking....
_Mrs. Broderick:_ (_Turning over the leaves._) Ne'er a thing at all in
it but the things that will or will not happen, and the days of the
changes of the moon.
_Cooney:_ (_Seizing and shaking it._) Look at that now! (_To
Nestor._) Will you believe me now telling you that you are a rogue?
_Nestor:_ Will you listen to me, ma'am....
_Cooney:_ No, but listen to myself. I brought the money to you.
_Nestor:_ If he did he wouldn't trust you with it, ma'am.
_Cooney:_ I intended it for your relief.
_Nestor:_ In dread he was you would go follow him to Limerick.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ It is not likely I would be following the like of
him to Limerick, a man that left me to the charity of strangers from
Africa!
_Cooney:_ I gave the money to him....
_Nestor:_ And I gave it to yourself paying for the jackdaw. Are you
satisfied now, Mary Broderick?
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Satisfied, is it? It would be a queer thing indeed I
to be satisfied. My brother to be spending money on birds, and his
sister with a summons on her head. Michael Cooney to be passing
himself off as a mine-owner, and I myself being the way I am!
_Cooney:_ What would I want doing that? I tell you I ask no birds,
black, blue or white!
_Mrs. Broderick:_ I wonder at you now saying that, and you with that
clutch on your arm! (_Cooney indignantly flings away nest._)
Searching out jackdaws and his sister without the price of a needle
in the house! I tell you, Michael Cooney, it is yourself will be
wandering after your burying, naked and perishing, through winds and
through frosts, in satisfaction for the way you went wasting your
money and your means on such vanities, and she that was reared on the
one floor with you going knocking at the Workhouse door! What good
will jackdaws be to you that time?
_Cooney:_ It is what I would wish to know, what scheme are the whole
of you at? It is long till I will trust any one but my own eyes again
in the whole of the living world.
(_She wipes her eyes indignantly. Tommy Nally rushes in the
bird and cage still in his hands._)
_Nally:_ Where is the bird buyer? It is here he is said to be. It is
well for me get here the first. It is the whole of the town will be
here within half an hour; they have put a great scatter on themselves
hunting and searching in every place, but I am the first!
_Nestor:_ What is it you are talking about?
_Nally:_ Not a house in the whole street but is deserted. It is much
if the Magistrates themselves didn't quit the bench for the pursuit,
the way Tim Ward quitted the place he had a right to be!
_Nestor:_ It is some curse in the air, or some scourge?
_Nally:_ Birds they are getting by the score! Old and young! Where is
the bird-buyer? Who is it now will give me my price?
(_He holds up the cage._)
_Cooney:_ There is surely some root for all this. There must be some
buyer after all. It's to keep him to themselves they are wanting.
(_Goes to door._) But I'll get my own profit in spite of them.
(_He goes outside door, looking up and down the street._)
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Look at what Tommy Nally has. That's my bird.
_Nally:_ It is not, it's my own!
_Mrs. Broderick:_ That is my cage!
_Nally:_ It is not, it is mine!
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Wouldn't I know my own cage and my own bird? Don't
be telling lies that way!
_Nally:_ It is no lie I am telling. The bird and the cage were made a
present to me.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Who would make a present to you of the things that
belong to myself?
_Nally:_ It was Mr. Nestor gave them to me.
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Do you hear what he says, Joseph Nestor? What call
have you to be giving a present of my bird?
_Nestor:_ And wasn't I after buying it from you?
_Mrs. Broderick:_ If you were it was not for yourself you bought it,
but for the poor man in South Africa you bought it, and you defrauding
him now, giving it away to a man has no claim to it at all. Well, now,
isn't it hard for any man to find a person he can trust?
_Nestor:_ Didn't you hear me saying I bought it for no person at all?
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Give it up now, Tommy Nally, or I'll have you in
gaol on the head of it.
_Nally:_ Oh, you wouldn't do such a thing, ma'am, I am sure!
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Indeed and I will, and have you on the treadmill for
a thief.
_Nally:_ Oh, oh, oh, look now, Mr. Nestor, the way you have made me a
thief and to be lodged in the gaol!
_Nestor:_ I wish to God you were lodged in it, and we would have less
annoyance in this place!
_Nally:_ Oh, that is a terrible thing for you to be saying! Sure the
poorhouse itself is better than the gaol! The nuns preparing you for
heaven and the Mass every morning of your life....
_Nestor:_ If you go on with your talk and your arguments it's to gaol
you will surely go.
_Nally:_ Milk of a Wednesday and a Friday, the potatoes steamed very
good.... It's the skins of the potatoes they were telling me you do
have to be eating in the gaol. It is what I am thinking, Mr. Nestor,
that bird will lie heavy on you at the last!
_Nestor:_ (_Seizing cage and letting the bird out of the door._) Bad
cess and a bad end to it, and that I may never see it or hear of it
again!
_Mrs. Broderick:_ Look what he is after doing! Get it back for me!
Give it here into my hands I say! Why wouldn't I sell it secondly to
the buyer and he to be coming to the door? It is in my own pocket I
will keep the price of it that time!
_Nally:_ It would have been as good you to have left it with me as to
be sending itself and the worth of it up into the skies!
_Mrs. Broderick:_ (_Taking Nestor's arm._) Get it back for me I tell
you! There it is above in the ash tree, and it flapping its wings on a
bough!
_Nestor:_ Give me the cage, if that will content you, and I will
strive to entice it to come in.
_Cooney:_ (_Coming in._) Everyone running this way and that way. It is
for birds they are looking sure enough. Why now would they go through
such hardship if there was not a demand in some place?
_Nestor:_ (_Pushing him away._) Let me go now before that bird will
quit the branch where it is.
_Cooney:_ (_Seizing hold of him._) Is it striving to catch a bird for
yourself you are now?
_Nestor:_ Let me pass if you please. I have nothing to say to you at
all.
_Cooney:_ Laying down to me they were worth nothing! I knew well you
had made up some plan! The grand adviser is it! It is to yourself you
gave good advice that time!
_Nestor:_ Let me out I tell you before that uproar you are making will
drive it from its perch on the tree.
_Cooney:_ Is it to rob me of my own money you did and to be keeping me
out of the money I earned along with it!
(_Threatens Nestor with "Moore's Almanac," which he has picked up._)
_Sibby:_ Take care would there be murder done in this place!
(_She seizes Nestor, Mrs. Broderick seizes Cooney. Tommy Nally
wrings his hands._)
_Nestor:_ Tommy Nally, will you kindly go and call for the police.
_Cooney:_ Is it into a den of wild beasts I am come that must go
calling out for the police?
_Nestor:_ A very unmannerly person indeed!
_Cooney:_ Everyone thinking to take advantage of me and to make their
own trap for my ruin.
_Nestor:_ I don't know what cause has he at all to have taken any
umbrage against me.
_Cooney:_ You that had your eye on my notes from the first like a goat
in a cabbage garden!
_Nestor:_ Coming with a gift in the one hand and holding a dagger in
the other!
_Cooney:_ If you say that again I will break your collar bone!
_Nestor:_ O, but you are the terrible wicked man!
_Cooney:_ I'll squeeze satisfaction out of you if I had to hang for
it! I will be well satisfied if I'll kill you!
(_Flings "Moore's Almanac" at him._)
_Nestor:_ (_Throwing his bundle of newspapers._) Oh, good jewel!
_Ward:_ (_Coming in hastily._) Whist the whole of you, I tell you! The
Magistrates are coming to the door! (_Comes in and shuts it after
him._)
_Mrs. Broderick:_ The Lord be between us and harm! What made them go
quit the Court?
_Ward:_ The whole of the witnesses and of the prosecution made off
bird-catching. The Magistrates sent to invite the great mine-owner to
go lunch at Noonan's with themselves.
_Cooney:_ Horses of their own to stick him with they have. I wouldn't
doubt them at all.
_Ward:_ He could not be found in any place. They are informed he was
never seen leaving this house. They are coming to make an
investigation.
_Nestor:_ Don't be anyway uneasy. I will explain the whole case.
_Ward:_ The police along with them....
_Cooney:_ Is the whole of this district turned into a trap?
_Ward:_ It is what they are thinking, that the stranger was made away
with for his gold!
_Cooney:_ And if he was, as sure as you are living, it was done by
that blackguard there!
(_Points at Nestor._)
_Ward:_ If he is not found they will arrest all they see upon the
premises....
_Cooney:_ It is best for me to quit this.
(_Goes to door._)
_Ward:_ Here they are at the door. Sergeant Carden along with them.
Hide yourself, Mr. Nestor, if you've anyway to do it at all.
(_Sounds of feet and talking and knock at the door. Cooney
hides under counter. Nestor lies down on top of bench, spreads
his newspaper over him. Mrs. Broderick goes behind counter._)
_Nestor:_ (_Raising paper from his face and looking out._) Tommy
Nally, I will give you five shillings if you will draw "Tit-Bits" over
my feet.
_Curtain_
THE WORKHOUSE WARD
PERSONS
_Mike McInerney_ } PAUPERS
_Michael Miskell_ }
_Mrs. Donohoe_, A COUNTRYWOMAN
THE WORKHOUSE WARD
_Scene: A ward in Cloon Workhouse. The two old men in their
beds._
_Michael Miskell:_ Isn't it a hard case, Mike McInerney, myself and
yourself to be left here in the bed, and it the feast day of Saint
Colman, and the rest of the ward attending on the Mass.
_Mike McInerney:_ Is it sitting up by the hearth you are wishful to
be, Michael Miskell, with cold in the shoulders and with speckled
shins? Let you rise up so, and you well able to do it, not like myself
that has pains the same as tin-tacks within in my inside.
_Michael Miskell:_ If you have pains within in your inside there is no
one can see it or know of it the way they can see my own knees that
are swelled up with the rheumatism, and my hands that are twisted in
ridges the same as an old cabbage stalk. It is easy to be talking
about soreness and about pains, and they maybe not to be in it at all.
_Mike McInerney:_ To open me and to analyse me you would know what
sort of a pain and a soreness I have in my heart and in my chest. But
I'm not one like yourself to be cursing and praying and tormenting the
time the nuns are at hand, thinking to get a bigger share than myself
of the nourishment and of the milk.