THE DISCOVERY OF NEW YORK.
The author will now refer to the discovery of the Hudson River and the
town of New York _via_ Fort Lee and the 125th Street Ferry.
New York was afterwards sold for twenty-four dollars,--the whole island.
When I think of this I go into my family gallery, which I also use as a
swear room, and tell those ancestors of mine what I think of them. Where
were they when New York was sold for twenty-four dollars? Were they
having their portraits painted by Landseer, or their deposition taken by
Jeffreys, or having their Little Lord Fauntleroy clothes made?
Do not encourage them to believe that they will escape me in future
years. Some of them died unregenerate, and are now, I am told, in a
country where they may possibly be damned; and I will attend to the
others personally.
Twenty-four dollars for New York! Why, my Croton-water tax on one house
and lot with fifty feet four and one-fourth inches front is fifty-nine
dollars and no questions asked. Why, you can't get a voter for that
now.
Henry--or Hendrik--Hudson was an English navigator, of whose birth and
early history nothing is known definitely, hence his name is never
mentioned in many of the best homes in New York.
In 1607 he made a voyage in search of the Northwest Passage. In one of
his voyages he discovered Cape Cod, and later on the Hudson River.
This was one hundred and seventeen years after Columbus discovered
America; which shows that the discovering business was not pushed as it
should have been by those who had it in charge.
Hudson went up the river as far as Albany, but, finding no one there
whom he knew, he hastened back as far as 209th Street West, and
anchored.
He discovered Hudson Bay and Hudson Strait, and made other journeys by
water, though aquatting was then in its infancy. Afterwards his sailors
became mutinous, and set Hendrik and his son, with seven infirm sailors,
afloat.
Ah! Whom have we here? (See next page.)
It is Hendrik Hudson, who discovered the Hudson River.
Here he has just landed at the foot of 209th Street, New York, where he
offered the Indians liquor, but they refused.
How 209th Street has changed!
The artist has been fortunate in getting the expression of the Indians
in the act of refusing. Mr. Hudson's great reputation lies in the fact
that he discovered the river which bears his name; but the thinking mind
will at once regard the discovery of an Indian who does not drink as far
more wonderful.
[Illustration: DISCOVERY OF TEMPERANCE INDIANS.]
Some historians say that this especial delegation was swept away
afterward by a pestilence, whilst others commenting on the incident
maintain that Hudson lied.
It is the only historical question regarding America not fully settled
by this book.
Nothing more was heard of him till he turned up in a thinking part in
"Rip Van Winkle."
Many claims regarding the discovery of various parts of the United
States had been previously made. The Cabots had discovered Labrador, the
Spaniards the southern part of the United States; the Norsemen had
discovered Minneapolis, and Columbus had discovered San Salvador and
gone home to meet a ninety-day note due in Palos for the use of the
Pinta, which he had hired by the hour.
But we are speaking of the discovery of New York.
About this time a solitary horseman might have been seen at West 209th
Street, clothed in a little brief authority, and looking out to the west
as he petulantly spoke in the Tammany dialect, then in the language of
the blank-verse Indian. He began, "Another day of anxiety has passed,
and yet we have not been discovered! The Great Spirit tells me in the
thunder of the surf and the roaring cataract of the Harlem that within a
week we will be discovered for the first time."
As he stands there aboard of his horse, one sees that he is a chief in
every respect and in life's great drama would naturally occupy the
middle of the stage. It was at this moment that Hudson slipped down the
river from Albany past Fort Lee, and, dropping a nickel in the slot at
125th Street, weighed his anchor at that place. As soon as he had landed
and discovered the city, he was approached by the chief, who said, "We
gates. I am one of the committee to show you our little town. I suppose
you have a power of attorney, of course, for discovering us?"
"Yes," said Hudson. "As Columbus used to say when he discovered San
Salvador, 'I do it by the right vested in me by my sovereigns.' 'That
oversizes my pile by a sovereign and a half,' says one of the natives;
and so, if you have not heard it, there is a good thing for one of your
dinner-speeches here."
"Very good," said the chief, as they jogged down-town on a swift Sixth
Avenue elevated train towards the wigwams on 14th Street, and going at
the rate of four miles an hour. "We do not care especially who discovers
us, so long as we hold control of the city organization. How about that,
Hank?"
"That will be satisfactory," said Mr. Hudson, taking a package of
imported cheese and eating it, so that they could have the car to
themselves.
"We will take the departments, such as Police, Street-Cleaning, etc.,
etc., etc., while you and Columbus get your pictures on the currency and
have your graves mussed up on anniversaries. We get the two-moment
horses and the country châteaux on the Bronx. Sabe?"
"That is, you do not care whose portrait is on the currency," said
Hudson, "so you get the currency."
Said the man, "That is the sense of the meeting."
Thus was New York discovered _via_ Albany and Fort Lee, and five minutes
after the two touched glasses, the brim of the schoppin and the
Manhattan cocktail tinkled together, and New York was inaugurated.
Obtaining a gentle and philanthropical gentleman who knew too well the
city by gas-light, they saw the town so thoroughly that nearly every
building in the morning wore a bright red sign which read--
+----------------------+
| BEWARE OF PAINT. |
+----------------------+
Regarding the question as to who has the right to claim the priority of
discovery of New York, I unite with one of the ablest historians now
living in stating that I do not know.
Here and there throughout the work of all great historians who are frank
and honest, chapter after chapter of information like this will burst
forth upon the eye of the surprised and delighted reader.
Society at the time of the discovery of the blank-verse Indian of
America was crude. Hudson's arrival, of course, among older citizens
soon called out those who desired his acquaintance, but he noticed that
club life was not what it has since become, especially Indian club life.
[Illustration: CLUB LIFE IN EARLY NEW YORK.]
He found a nation whose regular job was war and whose religion was the
ever-present prayer that they might eat the heart of their enemy plain.
The Indian High School and Young Ladies' Seminary captured by Columbus,
as shown in the pictures of his arrival at home and his presentation to
the royal pair one hundred and seventeen years before this, it is said,
brought a royal flush to the face of King Ferdie, who had been well
brought up.
This can be readily understood when we remember that the Indian wore at
court a court plaster, a parlor-lamp-shade in stormy weather, made of
lawn grass, or a surcingle of front teeth.
They were shown also in all these paintings as graceful and beautiful in
figure; but in those days when the Pocahontas girls went barefooted till
the age of eighty-nine years, chewed tobacco, kept Lent all winter and
then ate a brace of middle-aged men for Easter, the figure must have
been affected by this irregularity of meals.
[Illustration: THE INDIAN GIRL OF STORY.]
[Illustration: THE INDIAN GIRL OF FACT.]
Unless the Pocahontas of the present day has fallen off sadly in her
carriage and beauty, to be saved from death by her, as Smith was, and
feel that she therefore had a claim on him, must have given one nervous
prostration, paresis, and insomnia.
The Indian and the white race never really united or amalgamated outside
of Canada. The Indian has always held aloof from us, and even as late
as Sitting Bull's time that noted cavalry officer said to the author
that the white people who simply came over in the Mayflower could not
marry into his family on that ground. He wanted to know why they _had
to_ come over in the Mayflower.
[Illustration: BILL NYE CONVERSING WITH SITTING BULL.]
"We were here," said the aged warrior, as he stole a bacon-rind which I
used for lubricating my saw, and ate it thoughtfully, "we were here and
helped Adam 'round up' and brand his animals. We are an old family, and
never did manual labor. We are just as poor and proud and indolent as
those who are of noble blood. We know we are of noble blood because we
have to take sarsaparilla all the time. We claim to come by direct
descent from Job, of whom the inspired writer says,--
"Old Job he was a fine young lad,
Sing Glory hallelujah.
His heart was good, but his blood was bad,
Sing Glory hallelujah."[3]
[Footnote 3: This is a stanza from the works of Dempster Winterbottom
Woodworth, M.D., of Ellsworth, Pierce County, Wisconsin, author of the
"Diary of Judge Pierce," and "Life and Times of Melancthon
Klingensmith." The thanks of the author are also due to Baldy Sowers for
a loaned copy of "How to Keep up a Pleasing Correspondence without
Conveying Information," 8vo, bevelled boards, published by Public
Printer.]