THE BROKEN KEY.
First he moved his right leg,
Then he moved his left leg,
Then he said, "I pardon beg,"
And sat upon his seat.
"Oh! uncle David! uncle David!" cried Laura, when they arrived from
Holiday House, "I would jump out of the carriage window with joy to see
you again; only the persons passing in the street might be surprised!"
"Not at all! They are quite accustomed to see people jumping out of the
windows with joy, whenever I appear."
"We have so much to tell you," exclaimed Harry and Laura, each seizing
hold of a hand, "we hardly know where to begin!"
"Ladies and gentlemen! If you both talk at once, I must get a new pair
of ears! So you have not been particularly miserable at Holiday House?"
"No! no! uncle David! we did not think there had been so much happiness
in the world," answered Laura, eagerly. "The last two days we could do
nothing but play and laugh, and"----
"And grow fat! Why! you both look so well fed, you are just fit for
killing! I shall be obliged to shut you up two or three days, without
anything to eat, as is done to pet lap-dogs, when they are getting
corpulent and gouty."
"Then we shall be like bears living on our paws," replied Harry, "and
uncle David! I would rather do that, than be a glutton like Peter Grey.
He went to a cheap shop lately, where old cheese-cakes were sold at
half-price, and greedily devoured nearly a dozen, thinking that the dead
flies scattered on the top were currants, till Frank shewed him his
mistake!"
"Frank should have let him eat in peace! There is no accounting for
tastes. I once knew a lady who liked to swallow spiders! She used to
crack and eat them with the greatest delight, whenever she could catch
one."
"Oh! what a horrid woman! That is even worse than grandmama's story
about Dr. Manvers having dined on a dish of mice, fried in crumbs of
bread!"
"You know the old proverb, Harry, 'one man's meat is another man's
poison.' The Persians are disgusted at our eating lobsters; and the
Hindoos think us scarcely fit to exist, because we live on beef; while
we are equally amazed at the Chinese for devouring dog pies, and
birds'-nest soup. You turn up your nose at the French for liking frogs;
and they think us ten times worse with our singed sheep's head, oat
cakes, and haggis."
"That reminds me," said Lady Harriet, "that when Charles X. lived in
what he called the 'dear Canongate,' His Majesty was heard to say, that
he tried every sort of Scotch goose, 'the solan goose, the wild goose,
and the tame goose; but the best goose of all, was the hag-goose.'"
"Very polite, indeed, to adopt our national taste so completely,"
observed uncle David, smiling. "When my regiment was quartered in Spain,
an officer of ours, a great epicure, and not quite so complaisant, used
to say that the country was scarcely fit to live in, because there it is
customary to dress almost every dish with sugar. At last, one day, in a
rage, he ordered eggs to be brought up in their shells for dinner,
saying, 'that is the only thing the cook cannot possibly spoil.' We
played him a trick, however, which was very like what you would have
done, Harry, on a similar occasion. I secretly put pounded sugar into
the salt-cellar, and when he tasted his first mouthful, you should have
seen the look of fury with which he sprung off his seat, exclaiming,
'the barbarians eat sugar even with their eggs!'"
"That would be the country for me to travel in," said Harry. "I could
live in a barrel of sugar; and my little pony, Tom Thumb, would be happy
to accompany me there, as he likes anything sweet."
"All animals are of the same opinion. I remember the famous rider,
Ducrow, telling a brother-officer of mine, that the way in which he
gains so much influence over his horses, is merely by bribing them with
sugar. They may be managed in that way like children, and are quite
aware, if it be taken from them as a punishment for being restive."
"Oh! those beautiful horses at Ducrow's! How often I think of them since
we were there!" exclaimed Harry. "They were quite like fairies, with
fine arched necks, and long tails!"
"I never heard before of a fairy with a long tail, Master Harry; but
perhaps in the course of your travels you may have seen such a thing."
"How I should like to ride upon Tom Thumb, in Ducrow's way, with my toe
on the saddle!"
"Fine doings indeed!" exclaimed Mrs. Crabtree, who had entered the room
at this moment. "Have you forgotten already, Master Harry, how many of
the nursery plates you broke one day when I was out, in trying to copy
that there foolish Indian juggler, who tossed his plates in the air, and
twirled them on his thumb! There must be no more such nonsense; for if
once your neck is broke by a fall off Tom Thumb, no doctor that I know
of can mend it again. Remember what a terrible tumble you had off Jessy
last year!"
"You are always speaking about that little overturn, Mrs. Crabtree; and
it was not worth recollecting above a week! Did you never see a man
thrown off his horse before?"
"A man and horse indeed!" said uncle David, laughing, when he looked at
Harry. "You and your charger were hardly large enough then for a
toy-shop; and you must grow a little more, Captain Gulliver, before you
will be fit for a dragoon regiment."
Harry and Laura stayed very quietly at home for several weeks after
their return from Holiday House, attending so busily to lessons, that
uncle David said he felt much afraid they were going to be a pair of
little wonders, who would die of too much learning.
"You will be taken ill of the multiplication table some day, and
confined to bed with a violent fit of geography! Pray take care of
yourselves, and do not devour above three books at once," said Major
Graham one day, entering the room with a note in his hand. "Here is an
invitation that I suppose you are both too busy to accept, so perhaps I
might as well send an apology; eh, Harry?"
Down dropped the lesson-books upon the floor, and up sprung Harry in an
ecstacy of delight. "An invitation! Oh! I like an invitation so very
much! Pray tell us all about it!"
"Perhaps it is an invitation to spend a month with Dr. Lexicon. What
would you say to that? They breakfast upon Latin grammars at school, and
have a dish of real French verbs, smothered in onions, for dinner every
day."
"But in downright earnest, uncle David! where are we going?"
"Must I tell you? Well! that good-natured old lady, Mrs. Darwin, intends
taking a large party of children next week, in her own carriage, to pass
ten days at Ivy Lodge, a charming country house about twenty miles off,
where you are all to enjoy perfect happiness. I wish I could be ground
down into a little boy myself, for the occasion! Poor good woman! what a
life she will lead! There is only one little drawback to your delight,
that I am almost afraid to announce."
"What is that, uncle David?" asked Harry, looking as if nothing in
nature could ever make him grave again. "Are we to bite off our own
noses before we return?"
"Not exactly; but somebody is to be of the party who will do it for you.
Mrs. Darwin has heard that there are certain children who become
occasionally rather unmanageable! I cannot think who they can be, for it
is certainly nobody we ever saw; so she has requested that Mrs. Crabtree
will follow in the mail-coach."
Harry and Laura looked as if a glass of cold water had been thrown in
their faces, after this was mentioned; but they soon forgot every little
vexation, in a burst of joy, when, some days afterwards, Mrs. Darwin
stopped at the door to pick them up, in the most curious-looking
carriage they had ever seen. It was a very large open car, as round as a
bird's nest, and so perfectly crowded with children, that nobody could
have supposed any room left even for a doll; but Mrs. Darwin said that
whatever number of people came in, there was always accommodation for
one more; and this really proved to be the case, for Harry and Laura
soon elbowed their way into seats and set off, waving their
handkerchiefs to Major Graham, who had helped to pack them in, and who
now stood smiling at the door.
As this very large vehicle was drawn by only one horse, it proceeded
very slowly; but Mrs. Darwin amused the children with several very
diverting stories, and gave them a grand luncheon in the carriage; after
which, they threw what was left, wrapped up in an old newspaper, to some
people breaking stones on the road, feeling quite delighted to see the
surprise and joy of the poor labourers when they opened the parcel. In
short, everybody became sorry when this diverting journey was finished,
and they drove up, at last, to the gate of a tall old house, that looked
as if it had been built in the year one. The walls were very thick, and
quite mouldy with age. Indeed, the only wonder was, that Ivy Lodge had
still a roof upon its head, for every thing about it looked so tottering
and decayed. The very servants were all old; and a white-headed butler
opened the door, who looked as frail and gloomy as the house; but before
long, the old walls of Ivy Lodge rung and echoed again with sounds of
mirth and joy. It seemed to have been built on purpose for hide and
seek; there were rooms with invisible doors, and closets cut in the
walls, and great old chests where people might have been buried alive
for a year, without being found out. The gardens, too, were perfectly
enchanting. Such arbours to take strawberries and cream in! and such
summer-houses, where they drank tea out of doors every evening! Here
they saw a prodigious eagle, fastened to the ground by a chain, and
looking the most dull, melancholy creature in the world; while Harry
wished the poor bird might be liberated, and thought how delightful it
would be to stand by and see him soaring away to his native skies.
"Yes! with a large slice of raw meat in his beak!" said Peter Grey, who
was always thinking of eating. "I dare say he lives much better here,
than he would do killing his own mutton up in the clouds there, or
taking his chance of a dead horse on the sea-shore occasionally."
Harry and Peter were particularly amused with Mrs. Darwin's curious
collection of pets. There were black swans with red bills, swimming
gracefully in a pond close to the window, and ready to rush forward on
the shortest notice, for a morsel of bread. The lop-eared rabbits also
surprised them, with their ears hanging down to the ground, and they
were interested to see a pair of carrier-pigeons which could carry
letters as well as the postman. Mrs. Darwin showed them tumbler pigeons
too, that performed a summerset in the air when they flew, and horsemen
and dragoon pigeons, trumpeters and pouters, till Peter Grey at last
begged to see the pigeons that made the pigeon-pies, and the cow that
gave the butter-milk; he was likewise very anxious for leave to bring
his fishing-rod into the drawing-room, to try whether he could catch one
of the beautiful gold-fish that swam about in a large glass globe,
saying he thought it might perhaps be very good to eat at breakfast.
Mrs. Darwin had a pet lamb that she was exceedingly fond of, because it
followed her everywhere, and Harry, who was very fond of the little
creature, said he wished some plan could be invented to hinder its ever
growing into a great fat vulgar sheep; and he thought the white mice
were old animals that had grown grey with years.
There were donkies for the children to ride upon, and Mrs. Darwin had a
boat that held the whole party, to sail in, round the pond, and she hung
up a swing that seemed to fly about as high as the house, which they
swung upon, after which they were allowed to shake the fruit-trees, and
to eat whatever came down about their ears; so it very often rained
apples and pears in the gardens at Ivy Lodge, for Peter seemed never to
tire of that joke; indeed the apple-trees had a sad life of it as long
as he remained.
Peter told Mrs. Darwin that he had "a patent appetite," which was always
ready on every occasion; but the good lady became so fond of stuffing
the children at all hours, that even he felt a little puzzled sometimes
how to dispose of all she heaped upon his plate, while both Harry and
Laura, who were far from greedy, became perfectly wearied of hearing the
gong. The whole party assembled at eight every morning, to partake of
porridge and butter-milk, after which, at ten, they breakfasted with
Mrs. Darwin on tea, muffins, and sweetmeats. They then drove in the
round open car, to bathe in the sea, on their return from which,
luncheon was always ready, and after concluding that, they might pass
the interval till dinner among the fruit-trees. They never could eat
enough to please Mrs. Darwin at dinner; tea followed, on a most
substantial plan; their supper consisted of poached eggs, and the maid
was desired to put a biscuit under every visitor's pillow, in case the
young people should be hungry in the night, for Mrs. Darwin said she had
been starved at school herself, when she was a little girl, and wished
nobody ever to suffer, as she had done, from hunger.
The good lady was so anxious for everything to be exactly as the
children liked it, that sometimes Laura felt quite at a loss what to say
or do. One day, having cracked her egg-shell at breakfast, Mrs. Darwin
peeped anxiously over her shoulder, saying,
"I hope, my dear! your egg is all right?"
"Most excellent indeed!"
"Is it quite fresh?"
"Perfectly! I dare say it was laid only a minute before it was boiled!"
"I have seen the eggs much larger than that."
"Yes! but then I believe they are rather coarse,--at least we think so,
when Mrs. Crabtree gives us a turkey egg at dinner."
"If you prefer them small, perhaps you would like a guinea-fowl's egg?"
"Thank you! but this one is just as I like them."
"It looks rather over-done! If you think so, we could get another in a
minute!"
"No! they are better well boiled!"
"Then probably it is not enough done. Some people like them quite hard,
and I could easily pop it into the slop-basin for another minute."
"I am really obliged to you, but it could not be improved."
"Do you not take any more salt with your egg?"
"No, I thank you!"
"A few more grains would improve it!"
"If you say so, I dare say they will."
"Ah! now I am afraid you have put in too much! pray do get another!"
This long-continued attack upon her egg was too much for Laura's
gravity, who appeared for some minutes to have a violent fit of
coughing, and ending in a burst of laughter, after which she hastily
finished all that remained of it, and thus ended the discussion.
In the midst of all their happiness, while the children thought that
every succeeding day had no fault but being too short, and Harry even
planned with Peter to stop the clock altogether, and see whether time
itself would not stand still, nobody ever thought for a moment of
anything but joy; and yet a very sad and sudden distress awaited Mrs.
Darwin. One forenoon she received a letter that seemed very hastily and
awkwardly folded,--the seal was all to one side, and surrounded with
stray drops of red wax,--the direction appeared sadly blotted, and at
the top was written in large letters, the words, "To be delivered
immediately."
When Mrs. Darwin hurriedly tore open this very strange-looking letter,
she found that it came from her own housekeeper in town, to announce the
dreadful event that her sister, Lady Barnet, had been that day seized
with an apoplectic fit, and was thought to be at the point of death,
therefore it was hoped that Mrs. Darwin would not lose an hour in
returning to town, that she might be present on the melancholy occasion.
The shock of hearing this news was so very great, that poor Mrs. Darwin
could not speak about it, but after trying to compose herself for a few
minutes, she went into the play-room, and told the children that, for
reasons she could not explain, they must get ready to return home in an
hour, when the car would be at the door for their journey.
Nothing could exceed their surprise on hearing Mrs. Darwin make such an
unexpected proposal. At first Peter Grey thought she was speaking in
jest, and said he would prefer if she ordered out a balloon to travel
in, this morning; but when it appeared that Mrs. Darwin was really in
earnest about their pleasant visit being over so soon, Harry's face grew
perfectly red with passion, while he said in a loud angry voice,
"Grandmama allowed me to stay here till Friday!--and I was invited to
stay,--and I will not go anywhere else!"
"Oh fie, Master Harry!" said Mrs. Crabtree. "Do not talk so! You ought
to know better! I shall soon teach you, however, to do as you are bid!"
Saying these words, she stretched out her hand to seize violent hold of
him, but Harry dipped down and escaped. Quickly opening the door, he
ran, half in joke and half in earnest, at full speed up two pairs of
stairs, followed closely by Mrs. Crabtree, who was now in a terrible
rage, especially when she saw what a piece of fun Harry thought this
fatiguing race. A door happened to be standing wide open on the second
landing-place, which, having been observed by Harry, he darted in, and
slammed it in Mrs. Crabtree's face, locking and double-locking it, to
secure his own safety, after which he sat down in this empty apartment
to enjoy his victory in peace. When people once begin to grow
self-willed and rebellious, it is impossible to guess where it will all
end! Harry might have been easily led to do right at first, if any one
had reasoned with him and spoken kindly, but now he really was in a sort
of don't-care-a-button humour, and scarcely minded what he did next.
As long as Mrs. Crabtree continued to scold and rave behind the door,
Harry grew harder and harder; but at length the good old lady, Mrs.
Darwin herself, arrived up stairs, and represented how ungrateful he
was, not doing all in his power to please her, when she had taken so
much pains to make him happy. This brought the little rebel round in a
moment, as he became quite sensible of his own misconduct, and resolved
immediately to submit. Accordingly, Harry tried to open the door, but,
what is very easily done cannot sometimes be undone, which turned out
the case on this occasion, as, with all his exertions, the key would not
turn in the lock! Harry tried it first one way, then another. He twisted
with his whole strength, till his face became perfectly scarlet with the
effort, but in vain! At last he put the poker through the handle of the
key, thinking this a very clever plan, and quite sure to succeed, but
after a desperate struggle, the unfortunate key broke in two, so then
nobody could possibly open the door!
After this provoking accident happened, Harry felt what a very bad boy
he had been, so he burst into tears, and called through the key-hole to
beg Mrs. Darwin's pardon, while Mrs. Crabtree scolded him through the
key-hole in return, till Harry shrunk away as if a cannonading had begun
at his ear.
Meantime, Mrs. Darwin hurried off, racking her brains to think what had
best be done to deliver the prisoner, since no time could be lost, or
she might perhaps not get to town at all that night, and the car was
expected every minute, to come round for the travellers. The gardener
said he thought it might be possible to find a few ladders, which, being
tied one above another, would perhaps reach as high as the window, where
Harry had now appeared, and by which he could easily scramble down; so
the servants made haste to fetch all they could find, and to borrow all
they could see, till a great many were collected. These they joined
together very strongly with ropes, but when it was at last reared
against the wall, to the great disappointment of Mrs. Darwin, the
ladder appeared a yard and a-half too short!
What was to be done?
The obliging gardener mounted to the very top of his ladder, and Harry
leaned so far over the window, he seemed in danger of falling out, but
still they did not reach one another, so not a single person could guess
what plan was to be tried next. At length Harry called out very loudly
to the gardener,
"Hollo! Mr. King of Spades! If I were to let myself drop very gently
down from the window, could you catch me in your arms?"
"Mr. Harry! Mr. Harry! if you dare!" cried Mrs. Crabtree, shaking her
fist at him. "You'll be broken in pieces like a tea-pot, you'll be made
as flat as a pancake! Stay where you are! Do ye hear!"
But Harry seemed suddenly grown deaf, and was now more than half
out--fixing his fingers very firmly on the ledge of the window, and
slowly dropping his legs downwards.
"Oh Harry! you will be killed!" screamed Laura. "Stop! stop! Harry, are
you mad? can nobody stop him?"
But nobody could stop him, for, being so high above everybody's head,
Harry had it all his own way, and was now nearly hanging altogether out
of the window, but he stopped a single minute, and called out, "Do not
be frightened, Laura! I have behaved very ill, and deserve the worst
that can happen. If I do break my head, it will save Mrs. Crabtree the
trouble of breaking it for me, after I come down."
The gardener now balanced himself steadily on the upper step of the
ladder, and spread his arms out, while Harry slowly let himself drop.
Laura tried to look on without screaming out, as that might have
startled him, but the scene became too frightful, so she closed her
eyes, put her hands over her face and turned away, while her heart beat
so violently, that it might almost have been heard. Even Mrs. Crabtree
clasped her hands in an agony of alarm, while Mrs. Darwin put up her
pocket handkerchief, and could not look on another moment. An awful
pause took place, during which, a feather falling on the ground would
have startled them, when suddenly a loud shout from Peter Grey and the
other children, which was gaily echoed from the top of the ladder, made
Laura venture to look up, and there was Harry safe in the gardener's
arms, who soon helped him down to the ground, where he immediately asked
pardon of everybody for the fright he had given them.
There was no time for more than half a scold from Mrs. Crabtree, as Mrs.
Darwin's car had been waiting some time; so Harry said she might be
owing him the rest, on some future occasion.
"Yes! and a hundred lashes besides!" added Peter Grey, laughing. "Pray
touch him up well, Mrs. Crabtree, when you are about it. There is no law
against cruelty to boys!"
This put Mrs. Crabtree into such a rage, that she followed Peter with a
perfect hail-storm of angry words, till at last, for a joke, he put up
Mrs. Darwin's umbrella to screen himself, and immediately afterwards the
car drove slowly off.
When uncle David heard all the adventures at Ivy Lodge, he listened most
attentively to "the confessions of Master Harry Graham," and shook his
head in a most serious manner after they were concluded, saying, "I have
always thought that boys are like cats, with nine lives at least! You
should be hung up in a basket, Harry, as they do with unruly boys in the
South Sea Islands, where such young gentlemen as you are left dangling
in the air for days together without a possibility of escape!"
"I would not care for that compared with being teazed and worried by
Mrs. Crabtree. I really wish, uncle David, that Dr. Bell would order me
never to be scolded any more! It is very bad for me! I generally feel an
odd sort of over-all-ish-ness as soon as she begins; and I am getting
too big now, for any thing but a birch-rod like Frank. How pleasant it
is to be a grown-up man, uncle David, as you are, sitting all day at the
club with your hat on your head, and nothing to do but look out of the
window. That is what I call happiness!"
"But once upon a time, Harry," said Lady Harriet, "when I stopped in the
carriage for your uncle David at the club, he was in the middle of such
a yawn at the window, that he very nearly dislocated his jaw! it was
quite alarming to see him, and he told me in a great secret, that the
longest and most tiresome hours of his life are, when he has nothing
particular to do."
"Now, at this moment, I have nothing particular to do," said Major
Graham, "therefore I shall tell you a wonderful story, children, about
liking to be idle or busy, and you must find out the moral for
yourselves."
"A story! a story!" cried Harry and Laura, in an ecstacy of delight, and
as they each had a knee of uncle David's, which belonged to themselves,
they scrambled into their places, exclaiming, "Now let it be all about
very bad boys, and giants, and fairies!"