_For preventing the children of poor people in Ireland from being a
burden to their parents or country, and for making them beneficial to
the public. 1729._
It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great town, or
travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and cabin
doors, crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, four, or
six children, all in rags, and importuning every passenger for an alms.
These mothers, instead of being able to work for an honest livelihood, are
forced to employ all their time in strolling to beg sustenance for their
helpless infants; who, as they grow up, either turn thieves for the want
of work, or leave their dear native country to fight for the Pretender in
Spain, or sell themselves to the Barbadoes.
I think it is agreed by all parties, that this prodigious number of
children in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their mothers,
and frequently of their fathers, is, in the present deplorable state of
the kingdom, a very great additional grievance; and, therefore, whoever
could find out a fair, cheap, and easy method of making these children
sound, useful members of the commonwealth, would deserve so well of the
public, as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the nation.
But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for the
children of professed beggars; it is of a much greater extent, and shall
take in the whole number of infants at a certain age, who are born of
parents in effect as little able to support them, as those who demand
charity in our streets.
As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years upon this
important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of our
projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in their
computation. It is true, a child, just dropped from its dam, may be
supported by her milk for a solar year, with little other nourishment; at
most, not above the value of two shillings, which the mother may certainly
get, or the value in scraps, by her lawful occupation of begging; and it
is exactly at one year old that I propose to provide for them in such a
manner, as, instead of being a charge upon their parents, or the parish,
or wanting food and raiment for the rest of their lives, they shall, on
the contrary, contribute to the feeding, and partly to the clothing, of
many thousands....
The number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million and
a half, of these I calculate there may be about two hundred thousand
couple whose wives are breeders; from which number I subtract thirty
thousand couple, who are able to maintain their own children, (although I
apprehend there cannot be so many, under the present distresses of the
kingdom); but this being granted, there will remain a hundred and seventy
thousand breeders. I again subtract fifty thousand for those women who
miscarry, or whose children die by accident or disease within the year.
There only remains a hundred and twenty thousand children of poor parents
annually born. The question therefore is: How this number shall be reared
and provided for?--which, as I have already said, under the present
situation of affairs, is utterly impossible by all the methods hitherto
proposed. For we can neither employ them in handicraft or agriculture; we
neither build houses (I mean in the country) nor cultivate land; they can
very seldom pick up a livelihood by stealing, till they arrive at six
years old, except where they are of towardly parts; although I confess
they learn the rudiments much earlier; during which time they can,
however, be properly looked upon only as probationers; as I have been
informed by a principal gentleman in the county of Cavan, who protested to
me, that he never knew above one or two instances under the age of six,
even in a part of the kingdom so renowned for the quickest proficiency in
that art.
I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or girl before twelve years old
is no saleable commodity; and even when they come to this age, they will
not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half-a-crown at most, on
the exchange; which cannot turn to account either to the parents or
kingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags having been at least four times
that value. I shall now, therefore, humbly propose my own thoughts, which
I hope will not be liable to the least objection.
I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in
London, that a young healthy child, well nursed, is, at a year old, a most
delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked
or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee
or a ragout.
I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration, that of the
hundred and twenty thousand children already computed, twenty thousand
may be reserved for breed. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at a
year old, be offered in sale to the persons of quality and fortune through
the kingdom; always advising the mother to let them suck plentifully in
the last month, so as to render them plump and fat for a good table. A
child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the
family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish,
and, seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on
the fourth day, especially in winter.
I have reckoned, upon a medium, that a child just born will weigh twelve
pounds, and in a solar year, if tolerably nursed, will increase to
twenty-eight pounds. I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and
therefore very proper for landlords, who, as they have already devoured
most of the parents, seem to have the best title to the children....
I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar's child (in which
list I reckon all cottagers, labourers, and four-fifths of the farmers) to
be about two shillings per annum, rags included; and I believe no
gentleman would require to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good
fat child, which, as I have said, will make four dishes of excellent
nutritive meat, when he has only some particular friend, or his own
family to dine with him. Thus the squire will learn to be a good landlord,
and grow popular among his tenants; and the mother will have eight
shillings net profit.
Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess that times require) may flay
the carcass; the skin of which, artificially dressed, will make admirable
gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen. As to our city of
Dublin, shambles may be appointed for this purpose in the most convenient
parts of it, and butchers we may be assured will not be wanting; although
I rather recommend buying the children alive, then dressing them hot from
the knife, as we do roasting pigs.
A very worthy person, a true lover of his country, and whose virtue I
highly esteem, was lately pleased, in discoursing on this matter, to offer
a refinement upon my scheme. He said, that many gentlemen of this kingdom,
having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the want of venison
might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads and maidens, not
exceeding fourteen years of age, nor under twelve; so great a number of
both sexes in every country being now ready to starve for want of work and
service; and these to be disposed of by their parents, if alive, or
otherwise by their nearest relations. But, with due deference to so
excellent a friend, and so deserving a patriot, I cannot be altogether in
his sentiments; for as to the males, my American acquaintance assured me,
from frequent experience, that their flesh was generally tough and lean
like that of our schoolboys, by continual exercise, and their taste
disagreeable; and to fatten them would not answer the charge; and besides,
it is not improbable that some scrupulous people might be apt to censure
such a practice (although indeed very unjustly), as a little bordering
upon cruelty; which, I confess, has always been with me the strongest
objection against any project, how well soever intended.
But in order to justify my friend, he confessed that this expedient was
put into his head by the famous Psalmanazar, a native of the island
Formosa, who came from thence to London above twenty years ago; and in
conversation told my friend, that in his country, when any young person
happened to be put to death the executioner sold the carcass to persons of
quality as a prime dainty; and that in his time the body of a plump girl
of fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to poison the emperor, was
sold to his imperial Majesty's prime minister of state, and other great
mandarins of the court, in joints from the gibbet, at four hundred crowns.
Neither indeed can I deny, that if the same use were made of several
plump young girls in this town, who without one single groat to their
fortunes, cannot stir abroad without a chair, and appear at playhouse and
assemblies in foreign fineries which they will never pay for, the kingdom
would not be the worse.
Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that vast
number of poor people, who are aged, diseased, or maimed; and I have been
desired to employ my thoughts, what course may be taken to ease the nation
of so grievous an encumbrance. But I am not in the least pain upon that
matter, because it is very well known, that they are every day dying by
cold and famine, as fast as can be reasonably expected. And as to the
young labourers, they are now in almost as hopeful a condition: they
cannot get work, and consequently pine away for want of nourishment, to a
degree, that if at any time they are accidentally hired to common labour,
they have not strength to perform it; and thus the country and themselves
are happily delivered from the evils to come.
I have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I
think the advantages by the proposal which I have made, are obvious and
many, as well as of the highest importance.
For first, it would greatly lessen the number of Papists, with whom we
are yearly overrun, being the principal breeders of the nation, as well as
our most dangerous enemies, and who stay at home on purpose to deliver the
kingdom to the Pretender, hoping to take their advantage by the absence of
so many good Protestants, who have chosen rather to leave their country
than stay at home and pay tithes against their conscience to an Episcopal
curate.
Secondly, The poorer tenants will have something valuable of their own,
which by law may be made liable to distress, and help to pay their
landlord's rent; their corn and cattle being already seized, and money a
thing unknown.
Thirdly, Whereas the maintenance of a hundred thousand children, from two
years old and upward, cannot be computed at less than ten shillings
a-piece per annum, the nation's stock will be thereby increased fifty
thousand pounds per annum, beside the profit of a new dish introduced to
the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the kingdom, who have any
refinement in taste. And the money will circulate among ourselves, the
goods being entirely of our own growth and manufacture.
Fourthly, The constant breeders, besides the gain of eight shillings
sterling per annum by the sale of their children, will be rid of the
charge of maintaining them after the first year.
Fifthly, This food would likewise bring great custom to taverns; where the
vintners will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best receipts for
dressing it to perfection, and, consequently, have their houses frequented
by all the fine gentlemen, who justly value themselves upon their
knowledge in good eating; and a skilful cook, who understands how to
oblige his guests, will contrive to make it as expensive as they please.
Sixthly, This would be a great inducement to marriage, which all wise
nations have either encouraged by rewards, or enforced by laws and
penalties. It would increase, the care and tenderness of mothers towards
their children, when they were sure of a settlement for life to the poor
babes, provided in some sort by the public, to their annual profit or
expense. We should see an honest emulation among the married women, which
of them could bring the fattest child to the market....
I can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against this
proposal, unless it should be urged that the number of people will be
thereby much lessened in the kingdom. This I freely own, and it was indeed
one principal design in offering it to the world. I desire the reader will
observe that I calculate my remedy for this one individual kingdom of
Ireland, and for no other that ever was, is, or, I think, ever can be,
upon earth. Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: of taxing
our absentees at five shillings a pound; of using neither clothes, nor
household furniture, except what is our own growth and manufacture; of
utterly rejecting the materials and instruments that promote foreign
luxury; of curing the expensiveness of pride, vanity, idleness, and gaming
in our women: of introducing a vein of parsimony, prudence, and
temperance; of learning to love our country, in the want of which we
differ even from Laplanders, and the inhabitants of Topinamboo; of
quitting our animosities and factions, nor acting any longer like the
Jews, who were murdering one another at the very moment their city was
taken; of being a little cautious not to sell our country and conscience
for nothing; of teaching landlords to have at least one degree of mercy
toward their tenants: lastly, of putting a spirit of honesty, industry,
and skill into our shopkeepers; who, if a resolution could now be taken to
buy only our negative goods, would immediately unite to cheat and exact
upon us in the price, the measure, and the goodness, nor could never yet
be brought to make one fair proposal of just dealing, though often and
earnestly invited to it.
Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me of these and the like
expedients, till he has at least some glimpse of hope that there will be
ever some hearty and sincere attempt to put them in practice.
But as to myself, having been wearied out for many years with offering
vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and at length utterly despairing of
success, I fortunately fell upon this proposal; which as it is wholly new,
so it has something solid and real, of no expense and little trouble, full
in our own power, and whereby we can incur no danger in disobliging
England. For this kind of commodity will not bear exportation, the flesh
being of too tender a consistence to admit a long continuance in salt,
although perhaps I could name a country which would be glad to eat up our
whole nation without.
After all, I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion as to reject any
offer proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent, cheap,
easy, and effectual. But before something of that kind shall be advanced
in contradiction to my scheme, and offering a better, I desire the author
or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points. First, as
things now stand, how they will be able to find food and raiment for a
hundred thousand useless mouths and backs. And, secondly, there being a
round million of creatures of human figure throughout this kingdom, whose
whole subsistence put into a common stock would leave them in debt two
millions of pounds sterling, adding those who are beggars by profession,
to the bulk of farmers, cottagers, and labourers, with the wives and
children who are beggars in effect. I desire those politicians who dislike
my overture, and may perhaps be so bold as to attempt an answer that they
will first ask the parents of these mortals, whether they would not at
this day think it a great happiness to have been sold for food at a year
old, in the manner I prescribe, and thereby have avoided a perpetual scene
of misfortunes, as they have since gone through, by the oppression of
landlords, the impossibility of paying rent without money or trade, the
want of common sustenance, with neither house nor clothes to cover them
from the inclemencies of the weather, and the most inevitable prospect of
entailing the like, or greater miseries, upon their breed for ever.
I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least
personal interest in endeavouring to promote this necessary work, having
no other motive than the public good of my country, by advancing our
trade, providing for infants, relieving the poor, and giving some pleasure
to the rich. I have no children by which I can propose to get a single
penny; the youngest being nine years old and my wife past child-bearing.