ST. MILDRED'S COURT.
After a visit in the north of England with her father and sisters,
Elizabeth received proposals of marriage from Mr. Joseph Fry of London.
His family, also Quakers, were wealthy and of good position; but for
some time Elizabeth seemed to hesitate about entering on married life.
Far from looking on marriage as the goal of her ambition, as is the
fashion with many young women, she was divided in her mind as to the
relative advantages of single and married life, as they might affect
philanthropic and religious work. After consultation with her friends,
however, the offer was accepted, and on August 19th, 1800, when she was
little more than twenty years of age, she was married to Mr. Fry, in the
Friends' Meeting House, at Norwich. Very quickly after bidding her
school-children farewell, Mrs. Fry proceeded to St. Mildred's Court,
London, her husband's place of business, where she commenced to take up
the first duties of wedded life, and where several of her children were
born.
The family into which she married was a Quaker family of the strictest
order. So far from being singular by her orthodoxy of manners and
appearance, she was, in the midst of the Frys, "the gay, instead of the
plain and scrupulous one of the family." For a little time she
experienced some difficulty in reconciling her accustomed habits with
the straight tenets of her husband's household and connections, but in
the end succeeded. It seems singular that one so extremely conscientious
as Elizabeth Fry, should have been considered to fall behindhand in that
self-denying plainness of act and speech which characterized others; but
so it was. And so determined was she to serve God according to her
light, that no mortification of the flesh was counted too severe
provided it would further the great end she had in view. Her extreme
conscientiousness became manifest in lesser things; such, for instance,
as anxiety to keep the strict truth, and that only, in all kinds of
conversation.
Thus, she wrote in her journal:--
I was told by ---- he thought my manners had too much of the
courtier in them, which I know to be the case, for my disposition
leads me to hurt no one that I can avoid, and I do sometimes but
just keep to the truth with people, from a natural yielding to them
in such things as please them. I think doing so in moderation is
pleasant and useful in society. It is among the things that
produce the harmony of society; for the truth must not be spoken
out at all times, at least not the whole truth. Perhaps I am
wrong--I do not know if I am--but it will not always do to tell our
minds.... I am one of those who try to serve God and Mammon. Now,
for instance, if I wish to say anything I think right to anyone, I
seldom go straight to the point, but mostly by some softening,
round-about way, which, I fear, is very much from wishing to please
man more than his Maker!
It is evident that Elizabeth Fry dared to be singular; very possibly
only such self-renouncing singularity could have borne such remarkable
fruits of philanthropy. It required some such independent, philosophical
character as hers to strike out a new path for charitable effort.
During the continuance of the Yearly Meeting in London, the home in St.
Mildred's Court was made a house of entertainment for the Friends who
came from all parts of the country. It was a curious sight to see the
older Friends, clad in the quaint costume of that age, as they mingled
with the more fashionably or moderately dressed Quakers. The sightseers
of London eighty years ago must have looked on amused at what they
considered the vagaries of those worthy folks. The old Quaker ladies are
described as wearing at that date a close-fitting white cap, over which
was placed a black hood, and out of doors a low-crowned broad beaver
hat. The gowns were neatly made of drab camlet, the waists cut in long
peaks, and the skirts hanging in ample folds. For many years past these
somewhat antiquated garments have been discarded for sober
"coal-scuttles," and silk dresses of black or gray, much to the
improvement of the fair wearer's appearance. These Friends were
entertained at Mr. Fry's house heartily, and almost religiously. And
doubtless many people who were of the "salt of the earth" were numbered
among Mr. Fry's guests, while his young wife moved among them the
embodiment of refined lady-like hospitality and high principle.
Doubtless, too, the quiet home-talk of these worthy folks was only one
degree less solemn and sedate than their utterances at Yearly Meeting.
Mrs. Fry followed up her chosen path in ministering to the sick and poor
among the slums of London. She visited them at their homes, and
traversed dirty courts and uninviting alleys in the quest of individuals
needing succor. Sometimes she was made the instrument of blessing; but
at other times, like all philanthropists, she was deceived and imposed
upon. One day a woman accosted her in the street, asking relief, and
holding an infant who was suffering evidently with whooping-cough. Mrs.
Fry offered to go to the woman's house with the intention of
investigating and relieving whatever real misery may have existed. To
her surprise the mendicant slunk away as if unwilling to be visited; but
Mrs. Fry was determined to track her, and at last brought her to earth.
The room--a filthy, dirty, poverty-cursed one--contained a number of
infants in every conceivable stage of illness and misery.
Horror-stricken, Mrs. Fry requested her own medical attendant to visit
this lazar-house; but on going thither next morning he found the woman
and her helpless brood of infants gone. It then turned out that this
woman "farmed" infants; deliberately neglected them till she succeeded
in killing them off, and then concealed their deaths in order to
continue to receive the wretched pittances allowed for their
maintenance. Such scenes and facts as these must have opened the eyes of
Mrs. Fry to the condition of the poorest classes of that day, and
educated her in self-denying labor on their behalf.
She also took an interest in educational matters, and formed an
acquaintance with Joseph Lancaster, the founder of the Monitorial
system, and quickly turned her talents to account in visiting the
workhouse and school belonging to the Society of Friends at Islington.
About this time, one sister was married to Mr. Samuel Hoare, and
another to Sir Thomas Fowell Buxton. Other members of her family passed
away from this life; among them her husband's mother, and a brother's
wife. Some time later Mr. Fry senior, died, and this event caused the
removal of the home from St. Mildred's Court to Plashet, in Essex, the
country seat of the family. Writing of this change, she said: "I do not
think I have ever expressed the pleasure and comfort I find in a country
life, both for myself and the dear children. It has frequently led me to
feel grateful for the numerous benefits conferred, and I have also
desired that I may not rest in, nor too much depend on, any of these
outward enjoyments. It is certainly to me a time of sunshine."