After a thousand courtly compliments mutually interchanged, Don Quixote
advanced towards the table, between the duke and duchess, and, on
preparing to seat themselves, they offered the upper end to Don Quixote,
who would have declined it but for the pressing importunities of the
duke. The ecclesiastic seated himself opposite to the knight, and the
duke and duchess on each side.
Sancho was present all the while, in amazement to see the honor paid by
those great people to his master; and, whilst the numerous entreaties
and ceremonies were passing between the duke and Don Quixote, before he
would sit down at the head of the table, he said: "With your honor's
leave I will tell you a story of what happened in our town about seats."
Don Quixote immediately began to tremble, not doubting that he was going
to say something absurd. Sancho observed him, and, understanding his
looks, he said: "Be not afraid, sir, of my breaking loose or saying
anything that is not pat to the purpose. I have not forgotten the advice
your worship gave me awhile ago about talking much or little, well or
ill."
"I remember nothing, Sancho," answered Don Quixote; "say what thou wilt,
so as thou sayst it quickly."
"What I would say," quoth Sancho, "is very true, for my master, Don
Quixote, who is present, will not suffer me to lie."
"Lie as much as thou wilt for me, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "I shall
not hinder thee; but take heed what thou art going to say."
"I have heeded it over and over again, so that it is as safe as if I had
the game in my hand, as you shall presently see."
"Your graces will do well," said Don Quixote, "to order this blockhead
to retire, that you may get rid of his troublesome folly."
"By the life of the duke," quoth the duchess, "Sancho shall not stir a
jot from me. I have a great regard for him, and am assured of his
discretion."
"Many happy years may your holiness live," quoth Sancho, "for the good
opinion you have of me, little as I deserve it. But the tale I would
tell is this--
"A certain gentleman of our town, very rich and of a good family,--for
he was descended from the Alamos of Medina del Campo, and married Donna
Mencia de Quinnones, who was daughter to Don Alonzo de Maranon, knight
of the order of St. James, the same that was drowned in the Herradura,
about whom that quarrel happened in our town, in which it was said my
master Don Quixote had a hand, and Tommy the mad-cap, son of Balvastro
the blacksmith, was hurt. Pray, good master of mine, is not all this
true? Speak, I beseech you, that their worships may not take me for some
lying prater."
"As yet," said the ecclesiastic, "I take you rather for a prater than
for a liar; but I know not what I shall next take you for."
"Thou hast produced so many witnesses and so many proofs," said Don
Quixote, "that I cannot but say thou mayst probably be speaking truth;
but, for Heaven's sake, shorten thy story, or it will last these two
days."
"He shall shorten nothing," quoth the duchess; "and to please me, he
shall tell it his own way, although he were not to finish these six
days; and, should it last so long, they would be to me days of delight."
"I must tell you, then," proceeded Sancho, "that this same
gentleman--whom I know as well as I do my right hand from my left, for
it is not a bow-shot from my house to his--invited a husbandman to dine
with him,--a poor man, but mainly honest."
"On, friend," said the chaplain, "for, at the rate you proceed, your
tale will not reach its end till you reach the other world."
"I shall stop," replied Sancho, "before I get half-way thither, if it
please Heaven! This same farmer coming to the house of the gentleman his
inviter--God rest his soul, for he is dead and gone; and, moreover, died
like an angel, as it is said,--for I was not by myself, being at that
time gone a reaping to Tembleque."
"Prithee, son," said the ecclesiastic, "come back quickly from
Tembleque, and stay not to bury the gentleman, unless you are determined
upon more burials. Pray make an end of your tale."
"The business, then," quoth Sancho, "was this, that, they being ready
to sit down to table,--methinks I see them plainer than ever."
The duke and duchess were highly diverted at the impatience of the good
ecclesiastic, and at the length and pauses of Sancho's tale; but Don
Quixote was almost suffocated with rage and vexation.
"I say, then," quoth Sancho, "that, as they were both standing before
the dinner-table, just ready to sit down, the farmer insisted that the
gentleman should take the upper end of the table, and the gentleman as
positively pressed the farmer to take it, saying he ought to be master
in his own house. But the countryman, piquing himself upon his good
breeding, still refused to comply, till the gentleman, losing all
patience, laid both his hands upon the farmer's shoulders, and made him
sit down by main force, saying, 'Sit thee down, clod-pole! for in
whatever place I am seated, that is the upper end to thee.' That is my
tale, and truly I think it comes in here pretty much to the purpose."
All things are not alike, nor are men always in a humor for
all things.
Leave fear to the cowardly.
A stout heart quails misfortune.
Letters written in blood cannot be disputed.
If you seek advice about your own concerns, one will say it
is white and another will swear it is black.
Nothing is so reasonable and cheap as good manners.
He is safe who has good cards to play.
Avarice bursts the bag, and the covetous governor doeth
ungoverned justice.
The law's measure
Is the king's pleasure.
The game is as often lost by a card too many as one too few;
but a word to the wise is sufficient.
Come, death, with gently-stealing pace,
And take me unperceived away,
Nor let me see thy wished-for face,
Lest joy my fleeting life should stay.
The tyrant fair whose beauty sent
The throbbing mischief to my heart,
The more my anguish to augment,
Forbids me to reveal the smart.
When a thing is once begun, it is almost half finished.
When the heifer you receive,
Have a halter in your sleeve.
Delay breeds danger.
Who sits in the saddle must get up first.
There is nothing so sweet as to command and be obeyed.
It is a pleasant thing to govern, even though it be but a
flock of sheep.
INSTRUCTIONS WHICH DON QUIXOTE GAVE TO SANCHO PANZA BEFORE HE WENT TO
HIS GOVERNMENT; WITH OTHER WELL CONSIDERED MATTERS.
The duke and duchess being so well pleased with the afflicted duenna,
were encouraged to proceed with other projects, seeing that there was
nothing too extravagant for the credulity of the knight and squire. The
necessary orders were accordingly issued to their servants and vassals
with regard to their behavior towards Sancho in his government of the
promised island. The day after the flight of Clavileno, the duke bade
Sancho prepare, and get himself in readiness to assume his office, for
his islanders were already wishing for him as for rain in May. Sancho
made a low bow, and said: "Ever since my journey to heaven, when I
looked down and saw the earth so very small, my desire to be a governor
has partly cooled: for what mighty matter is it to command on a spot no
bigger than a grain of mustard-seed; where is the majesty and pomp of
governing half a dozen creatures no bigger than hazel-nuts? If your
lordship will be pleased to offer me some small portion of heaven,
though it be but half a league, I would jump at it sooner than for the
largest island in the world."
"Look you, friend Sancho," answered the duke, "I can give away no part
of heaven, not even a nail's breadth; for God has reserved to Himself
the disposal of such favors: but what it is in my power to give, I give
you with all my heart; and the island I now present to you is ready
made, round and sound, well-proportioned, and above measure fruitful,
and where, by good management, you may yourself, with the riches of the
earth, purchase an inheritance in heaven."
"Well, then," answered Sancho, "let this island be forthcoming, and it
shall go hard with me but I will be such a governor that, in spite of
rogues, heaven will take me in. Nor is it out of covetousness that I
forsake my humble cottage and aspire to greater things, but the desire I
have to taste what it is to be a governor."
"If once you taste it, Sancho," quoth the duke, "you will lick your
fingers after it; so sweet it is to command and be obeyed. And certain I
am, when your master becomes an emperor, of which there is no doubt, as
matters proceed so well, it would be impossible to wrest his power from
him, and his only regret will be that he had it not sooner."
"Faith, sir, you are in the right," quoth Sancho, "it is pleasant to
govern, though it be but a flock of sheep."
"Let me be buried with you, Sancho," replied the duke, "if you know not
something of every thing, and I doubt not you will prove a pearl of a
governor. But enough of this for the present: to-morrow you surely
depart for your island, and this evening you shall be fitted with
suitable apparel and with all things necessary for your appointment."
"Clothe me as you will," said Sancho, "I shall still be Sancho Panza."
"That is true," said the duke; "but the garb should always be suitable
to the office and rank of the wearer: for a lawyer to be habited like a
soldier, or a soldier like a priest, would be preposterous; and you;
Sancho, must be clad partly like a scholar and partly like a soldier;
as, in the office you will hold, arms and learning are united."
"As for learning," replied Sancho, "I have not much of that, for I
hardly know my A B C; but to be a good governor, it will be enough that
I am able to make my Christ-cross; and as to arms, I shall handle such
as are given me till I fall, and so God help me."
"With so good an intention," quoth the duke, "Sancho cannot do wrong."
Here they were joined by Don Quixote, who understanding the subject of
their conversation, and the short space allotted to Sancho to prepare
for his departure, took the squire by the hand, with the duke's
permission, and led him to his apartment, in order to instruct him how
to behave in his office. Having entered the chamber he locked the door,
and obliging Sancho to sit down by him, spoke to this effect, in a grave
and solemn tone:--
"I return infinite thanks to Heaven, friend Sancho, for having ordained
that, before I myself have met with the least success, good fortune hath
gone forth to bid thee welcome. I, who had balanced the remuneration of
thy service in my own prosperity, find myself in the very rudiments of
promotion; while thou, before thy time, and contrary to all the laws of
reasonable progression, findest thy desire accomplished: other people
bribe, solicit, importune, attend levees, entreat, and persevere,
without obtaining their suit; and another comes, who, without knowing
why or wherefore, finds himself in possession of that office to which so
many people laid claim: and here the old saying is aptly introduced, 'A
pound of good luck is worth a ton of merit.' Thou, who, in comparison to
me, art doubtless an ignorant dunce, without rising early or sitting up
late, or, indeed, exerting the least industry: without any pretension
more or less than that of being breathed upon by knight-errantry, seest
thyself created governor of an island as if it was a matter of
moonshine.
"All this I observe, O Sancho, that thou mayst not attribute thy success
to thy own deserts: but give thanks to heaven for having disposed
matters so beneficially in thy behalf, and then make thy acknowledgments
to that grandeur which centres in the profession of knight-errantry. Thy
heart being thus predisposed to believe what I have said, be attentive,
O my son, to me who am thy Cato, thy counsellor, thy north-pole and
guide, to conduct thee into a secure harbor from the tempestuous sea
into which thou art going to be engulfed; for great posts and offices of
state are no other than a profound gulf of confusion.
"In the first place, O my son, you are to fear God: the fear of God is
the beginning of wisdom; and if you are wise you cannot err.
"Secondly, you must always remember who you are, and endeavor to know
yourself,--a study of all others the most difficult. This self-knowledge
will hinder you from blowing yourself up like the frog in order to rival
the size of the ox: if, therefore, you succeed in this learning, the
consideration of thy having been a swineherd will, like the peacock's
ugly feet, be a check upon thy folly and pride."
"I own I once took care of hogs when I was a boy," said Sancho; "but,
after I grew up, I quitted that employment and took care of geese; but I
apprehend that matter is not of great consequence, for all governors are
not descended from the kingly race."
"No, sure," answered the knight; "and, for that reason, those who are
not of noble extraction ought to sweeten the gravity of their function
with mildness and affability: which, being prudently conducted, will
screen them from those malicious murmurs that no station can escape.
"Conceal not the meanness of thy family, nor think it disgraceful to be
descended from peasants; for, when it is seen that thou art not thyself
ashamed, none will endeavor to make thee so; and deem it more
meritorious to be a virtuous humble man than a lofty sinner. Infinite is
the number of those who, born of low extraction, have risen to the
highest dignities both in church and state; and of this truth I could
tire thee with examples.
"If thou takest virtue for the rule of life, and valuest thyself upon
acting in all things conformably thereto, thou wilt have no cause to
envy lords and princes; for blood is inherited, but virtue is a common
property and may be acquired by all. It has, moreover, an intrinsic
worth which blood has not. This being so, if, peradventure, any one of
thy kindred visit thee in thy government, do not slight nor affront him;
but receive, cherish, and make much of him, for in so doing thou wilt
please God, who allows none of His creatures to be despised; and thou
wilt also manifest therein a well-disposed nature.
"If thou takest thy wife with thee (and it is not well for those who are
appointed to governments to be long separated from their families),
teach, instruct, and polish her from her natural rudeness; for it often
happens that all the consideration a wise governor can acquire is lost
by an ill-bred and foolish woman.
"If thou shouldst become a widower (an event which is possible), and thy
station entitles thee to a better match, seek not one to serve thee for
a hook and angling-rod, or a friar's hood to receive alms in;[11] for,
believe me, whatever the judge's wife receives, the husband must account
for at the general judgment, and shall be made to pay fourfold for all
that of which he has rendered no account during his life.
"Be not under the dominion of thine own will: it is the vice of the
ignorant, who vainly presume on their own understanding.
"Let the tears of the poor find more compassion, but not more justice,
from thee than the applications of the wealthy.
"Be equally solicitous to sift out the truth amidst the presents and
promises of the rich and the sighs and entreaties of the poor.
"Whenever equity may justly temper the rigor of the law, let not the
whole force of it bear upon the delinquent; for it is better that a
judge should lean on the side of compassion than severity.
"If, perchance, the scales of justice be not correctly balanced, let the
error be imputable to pity, not to gold.
"If, perchance, the cause of thine enemy come before thee, forget thy
injuries, and think only on the merits of the case.
"Let not private affection blind thee in another man's cause; for the
errors thou shalt thereby commit are often without remedy, and at the
expense both of thy reputation and fortune.
"When a beautiful woman comes before thee to demand justice, consider
maturely the nature of her claim, without regarding either her tears or
her sighs, unless thou wouldst expose thy judgment to the danger of
being lost in the one, and thy integrity in the other.
"Revile not with words him whom thou hast to correct with deeds; the
punishment which the unhappy wretch is doomed to suffer is sufficient,
without the addition of abusive language.
"When the criminal stands before thee, recollect the frail and depraved
nature of man, and as much as thou canst, without injustice to the
suffering party, show pity and clemency; for, though the attributes of
God are all equally adorable, yet His mercy is more shining and
attractive in our eyes, and strikes with greater lustre, than His
justice.
"If you observe, and conduct yourself by these rules and precepts,
Sancho, your days will be long upon the face of the earth; your fame
will be eternal, your reward complete, and your felicity unutterable;
your children will be married according to your wish; they and their
descendants will enjoy titles; you shall live in peace and friendship
with all mankind; when your course of life is run, death will overtake
you in a happy and mature old age, and your eyes will be shut by the
tender and delicate hands of your posterity, in the third or fourth
generation.
"The remarks I have hitherto made are documents touching the decoration
of your soul; and now you will listen to the directions I have to give
concerning thy person and deportment."