Mrs. _Holmes_ to _Myra_.
_Belleview._
I AM sometimes mortified to find the books which I recommend
to your perusal, are not always applicable to the situation of an
_American_ lady. The general observations of some _English_ books are
the most useful things contained in them; the principal parts being
chiefly filled with local descriptions, which a young woman here is
frequently at a loss to understand.
I SEND you a little work, entitled “_A lady of Quality’s Advice to her
Children_” which, though not altogether free from this exception, is
highly worthy of your attention. A parent who is represented struggling
with the distress of a lingering illness, bequeaths a system of
education to her offspring. I do not recommend it to you as a Novel, but
as a work that speaks the language of the heart and that inculcates the
duty we owe to ourselves, to society and the Deity.
DIDACTICK essays are not always capable of engaging the attention of
young ladies. We fly from the laboured precepts of the essayist, to the
sprightly narrative of the novelist. Habituate your mind to remark the
difference between truth and fiction. You will then always be enabled to
judge of the propriety and justness of a thought; and never be misled to
form wrong opinions, by the meretricious _dress_ of a pleasing tale. You
will then be capable of deducing the most profitable lessons of
instruction, and the design of your _reading_ will be fully
accomplished.—
HENCE you will be provided with a key to the characters of men: To
unlock these curious cabinets is a very useful, as well as entertaining
employment. Of those insidious gentlemen, who plan their advances
towards us on the _Chesterfieldian_ system, let me advise you to beware.
A prudent commander would place a double watch, if he apprehended the
enemy were more disposed to take the fort by secrecy and undermining,
than by an open assault.
I CANNOT but smile sometimes, to observe the ridiculous figure of some
of our young gentlemen, who affect to square their conduct by his
LORDSHIP’S principles of politeness—they never tell a story unless it be
very short—they talk of decorum and the _etiquette_—they detest
everything vulgar or common—they are on the rack if an old man should
let fall a proverb—and a thousand more trifling affectations, the
ridicule of which arises, not so much from their putting on this foreign
dress, as from their ignorance or vanity in pretending to imitate those
rules which were designed for an English nobleman—Unless, therefore,
they have a prospect of being called by Congress to execute some foreign
negotiation, they ought certainly to be minding their business.
THIS affectation of fine breeding is destructive to morals.
Dissimulation and insincerity are connected with its tenets; and are
mutually inculcated with the art of pleasing.
A PERSON of this character grounds his motives for pleasing on the most
selfish principle—He is polite, not for the honour of obliging you, as
he endeavours to make you believe, but that he himself might be obliged.
Suspect him, therefore, of insincerity and treachery, who sacrifices
truth to complaisance, and advises you to the pursuit of an object,
which would tend to his advantage.
ALWAYS distinguish the man of sense from the cox-comb. Mr. _Worthy_ is
possessed of a good understanding, and an exact judgement. If you are
united with him, let it be the study of your life to preserve his love
and esteem. His amiable character is adorned with modesty and a
disposition to virtue and sobriety. I never anticipate your future
happiness, but I contemplate this part of his character with pleasure.
But remember the fidelity of a wife alone, will not always secure the
esteem of a husband; when her personal attractions do not continue to
delight his eye, she will flatter his judgement. I think you are enabled
to perform this, because you are solicitous to supply your mind with
those amiable qualities which are more durable than beauty. When you are
no longer surrounded with a flattering circle of young men, and the
world shall cease to call you beautiful, your company will be courted by
men of sense, who know the value of your conversation.
I AM pleased with the conduct of some agreeable girls, and the return of
civility and attention they often make to the conceited compliments of a
certain class of beaux. These ladies wisely consider them as the
butterflies of a day, and therefore generally scorn _to break them on a
wheel_!
WHEN you are in company, when the vain and thoughtless endeavour to shew
their ingenuity by ridiculing particular orders of men, your prudence
will dictate to you not to countenance their abuse—The book I have just
mentioned, intimates, that “there are a great many things done and said
in company which a woman of virtue will neither see nor hear.”—To
discountenance levity, is a sure way to guard against the encroachment
of temptation; to participate in the mirth of a buffoon, is to render
yourself equally ridiculous. We owe to ourselves a _detestation_ of
folley, and to the world, the appearance of it. I would have you avoid
coquetry and affectation, and the observance of my maxims will never
make you a prude—Pretend, therefore, should a vain youth throw out
illiberal sarcasms against Mechanicks, Lawyers, Ministers, Virtue,
Religion, or any serious subject, not to comprehend the point of his
wit.
I HAVE seldom spoken to you on the importance of Religion, and the
veneration due to the characters of the Clergy. I always supposed your
good sense capable of suggesting their necessity and eligibility. The
Ministers of no nation are more remarkable for learning and piety than
those of this country. The fool may pretend to scorn, and the
irreligious to contemn, but every person of sense and reflection must
admire that sacred order, whose business is to inform the understanding,
and regulate the passions of mankind. Surely, therefore, that class of
men, will continue to merit our esteem and affection, while virtue
remains upon earth.
I AM always pleased with the reasonable and amiable light in which the
Clergy are placed by the author of the _Guardian_—“The light,” says he,
“in which these points should be exposed to the view of one who is
prejudiced against the names, Religion, Church, Priest, or the like, is
to consider the Clergy as so many Philosophers, the Churches as Schools,
and their Sermons as Lectures for the improvement and information of the
audience. How would the heart of _Tully_ or _Socrates_ have rejoiced,
had they lived in a nation where the law had made provision for
philosophers to read lectures of philosophy, every seventh day, in
several thousands of schools, erected at the publick charge, throughout
the whole country, at which lectures, all ranks and sexes, without
distinction, were obliged to be present, for their general improvement?”
YOU may, perhaps, think this letter too serious, but remember that
virtue and religion are the foundation of education.
Adieu!