I ain't bin werry well lately, and, to crown the hole, I was cort in
the Lizzard, I think, as they called it, on that awful Munday nite,
and that was pretty nearly a settler for both my old bones and my
breth, and might ha' bin quite so, if one of the werry kindest Members
of the old Copperashun as I nos on, who had bin a dining with a
jolly party on 'em, hadn't kindly directed my notise to about a harf
bottle-full of werry fine old Port, with the remarkabel kind words,
"That's just about what you wants, Mr. ROBERT, to take you ome safely
this most orful nite!" And so it were, and I didn't waste a single
drop on it.
[Illustration: The "Tipper's" Strike.]
However, I was obligated to have a good long rest, which I took out
mostly in sleep; but, jest as I was preparing to set out for the
"Grand Hotel," in comes my Son; and he says to me, "Guvnor," says
he--I notise as he allers calls me Guvnor when he wants me to do
sumthink--"I wants you to do me the favour to ask _Mr. Punch_ for
to do you a favour." "Why, what do you mean?" says I. "Why, this is
what I means," says he. "About the grandest feller as ewer in the
hole world gave up fifty years of his useful life to trying to make
hundreds of stupid boys into clever boys, and hundreds of bad boys
into good boys, and hundreds of dull boys into witty boys, is a going
for to have a testymonial given him by sum of them hundreds of boys,
me among 'em, to sellybrate his Jewbilly, same as the QUEEN had the
other day. Ewery one of us as lives in London will jump at the chance;
but the boys as he turns out from the great City of Lundon Skool is
such reel fust-raters, that they gits snapped up direckly by Merchants
and peeple, and sent all over the werld for to manidge their warious
buzzinesses there, so we don't know how to get at 'em; but as _Mr.
Punch_ goes wherever any smart, clever English chap goes, if he wood
most kindly let this littel matter be mentioned, the grandest, and
sucksessfullest, ay, and wittiest Skool Master of modern times wood
get his dew reward."
So says my Sun, and prowd I was to lissen to his words; and this is
what I can add to them from my own knowlidg. There's sum of the old
boys, as isn't quite as yung as when they left Skool, as has formed a
club to dine together sumtimes, and tork of old times, like senserbel
fellers as they is; and Mr. JOSEPH HARRIS, the gennelman in question,
is allers there, and allers has to make a speech, and I am amost
allers there too; and, to hear the joyful shouts of arty welcome with
which his old pupils greets him when he rises for to speak, and their
roars of larfter at his wit, and his fun, and his good-humer, while he
is a speaking, is so wery remarkabel, that I sumtimes wanders whether
it doesn't, a good deal of it, rise from the fact of his great School
being so close to _Mr. Punch's_ own horfice. But this is over the way,
as the great writer says. May I be alowd to had that my speshal frend,
and hewerybody's speshal frend, Mr. COOKE, is reddy to receive any
number of subskripshuns at 30, New Bridge Street, E.C.